Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Reaction to Yesterday’s Post, SNL Spoofs “Bachelor” Again, & “This is Us”

Photo Credit: NBC

Before we get started today, just a little tangent to go off on because it’s been on a lot of people’s minds since last night, and that’s “This is Us.” Yes, we will finally know how Jack died in their next episode, which airs right after the Super Bowl. So many theories have been going on since we first found out he died when the kids were teenagers, and it’ll all come to a head two Sunday’s from now. Obviously last night they teased at the end of the episode the fire that destroyed the Pearsons house. I’m here to tell you, I have no idea how Jack dies, my guess would only be as good as yours, but here’s one way I know Jack DOESN’T die, and that’s because of the fire. I don’t know how, and I don’t know exactly when, but the way this show is written, the interviews I read every week with the producers and actors, and especially this one from Milo Ventagmiglia that came out this morning, I’m even more convinced his death has nothing to do with the fire. For over a year, Milo has said that no one has guessed it. He’s not gonna flat out lie. This show is too smartly written to share how he dies in a teaser. C’mon. You’re better than that. How many times have they wanted you to think one thing, and then it’s something else? Hell, last night they made you think the Pearsons bought those old people’s home until the end, when they were just the neighbors and the ones who gave them the crock pot years earlier? I honestly think the reason no one has guessed it is because any major clue about his death won’t be revealed until the next episode, when he actually does die. Everyone’s got theories, and according the show and the actors, all of them are wrong. I have no clue how he dies and frankly, I’m fine with that. I will find out next Sunday like the rest of you. This show doesn’t want you to know before the episode airs, but I’m sure once it does, a lot will be satisfied. So that’s my stance right now. I’m finally ready for this to happen, and I could be completely wrong, but those thinking that it’s in the fire, I would be stunned beyond belief if it’s that. Two years leading up to this #1 question that’s been on everyone’s mind and you think they’re gonna give away his death in the teaser? I don’t see it.

Did you see SNL did another “Bachelor” spoof this past week? Good stuff:

Since I’ve been talking more and more “Challenge” in this column, Rolling Stone did a feature article on the show and how it’s re-invented itself and managed to stay relevant after so long. Very good read for those that watch the show. This show could seriously go on forever. “Vendettas” is already starting to heat up.

Did you see where Rachel was asked about that rumored “multiple wedding” event and what her thoughts were? Yeah, pretty much mine were exactly the same and you’ll see someone asks in “Reader Emails” this week. Why would someone want to share their wedding day with another couple or multiple couples?

Obviously a big reveal yesterday, so we have our biggest “Reader Emails” of the season today. Get your “Dr. Reality Steve” emails in for tomorrow as we’re low again. Enjoy…


Hi Steve,

Why is the ground always wet? Haha, jk. Are you thinking “that’s original?” Sorry, I just had to write that.

I’ve secretly watched the bachelor franchise for years and have visited your site for years. First off, completely ridiculous that ABC thinks your communication affects them in any shape or form. They make things plastic and superficial and you bring humanity, it’s a great balance. I guess that’s why you are “Reality” Steve. They should thank you because their attempt to represent real life is like Jerry Springer trying to pass himself off as a licensed MFT. I, honestly, would have lost interest years ago if you hadn’t come along. Speaking of humanity, major respect to you for going on Instagram and reporting vile comments. I, honestly, never thought of reporting a stranger and now I kinda feel bad for it not being obvious. As for Arie, how can they have a once in a lifetime love story starring a man with a public past with so many women from the same franchise. He obviously isn’t looking for forever or he wouldn’t swap out women more than I change cars and I lease. Their feeble attempt to say that he was focusing on his career is hilarious. Most of us are working on our careers and 56% of people in America are married, come on!!! I googled it, lol.

On a different note, you crack me up with your nonchalant responses to people trying to annoy you. They are clever and funny while taking the high road. That’s impressive!!!!

Cheers from Colorado 🙂

Comment: Wait, do you 3 month leases on your cars? That’s impressive ha ha.

While I’m fully aware that this show knows I’m basically giving them free publicity, I also know that if they had it their way, I wouldn’t spoil their season. And reveal what really goes on behind the scenes. Because that’s pulling back the curtain a bit and they don’t want to be exposed. Why do you think they have such a tight leash on contestants and basically tell them “You can’t talk about what goes on behind the scenes of the show?” Sure, contestants have written books, but nothing they’ve ever written in a book has ever exposed what really happens, and how producers lie and manipulate behind the scenes. Because they can’t. I’ve done 61 podcasts now. Most with “Bachelor/ette” contestants. If you’ve listened to enough of them, you can read between the lines with a lot of these people. Without going into EXACT detail, some of their answers clearly have stated how shady production is. It’s not hard to see.


Can we all just take a second to acknowledge how ridiculous it is that Ben and Ashley claim they’re going spoiler-free this season on their podcast yet spent the last 2 weeks hyping up Bibiana, when we all knew (thanks to you) that she was at Winter Games with them? How is anyone supposed to take them seriously when they blatantly act like they don’t know stuff that they do know. Annoying. Is that what they’re claiming? I mean, we saw pictures the day of the opening ceremony of Bibiana, Ben, Ashley and plenty of others filming Winter Games. Pretty stupid to pretend otherwise. Not to mention Bibiana and Lauren G. have been officially announced as cast members.

Also, HOW has no one gotten pregnant in the fantasy suites yet? Odds are somebody would have by now even if they’re allegedly on the pill.


Comment: I mean, I wouldn’t say the odds are that somebody would by now. Think of all the people that have had sex in the world without getting pregnant. Then narrow that down to this show and it’s a very, very, very, very small percentage.

Hey Steve! Hope you’re well. I saw you got a bunch of reader emails about sexual assault after your podcast with Ashley. I volunteer on the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline through the organization that runs it (RAINN – the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network). There’s also a phone hotline, but I find most people are more comfortable talking about this stuff on the online hotline. I thought you might want to plug it sometime since it seems like you’ve been getting a lot of positive responses to how you handle these conversations.

If you do want to pass along the info in one of your columns, you can copy and paste this:

RAINN (the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network) runs the National Sexual Assault Hotline — there is both a phone and an online hotline. Anyone who has been affected by sexual assault or abuse at any point in their life can come to either hotline to talk anonymously. Staff and trained volunteers are there to listen and provide resources and support. Both hotlines are staffed 24/7. Visitors can call 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) or visit To browse RAINN’s resources before or instead of contacting the hotline, you can visit:

Comment: Thank you for that.

Hi Steve,

Thanks for your awesome blog.

Is this where we write our questions about the show? (Bachelor) No worries if you don’t want to answer all or any of them but worth a shot.

My questions are:

1) Sometimes they show all of the ladies waiting for a date card and then when the date card comes the woman picked leaves immediately for the date. Does that mean all the women all are told to get dressed up nicely in the morning ready for a date in case they get picked? That seems like a lot of hassle to get all dressed up and then you might not even get picked. Other times the ladies picked have some time to get ready but I know there was one date this season where the woman left immediately. I can’t remember which one it was but I think it was Becca’s.(with the good hair!) When the date card comes, it’s usually the day before the date arrives, so mostly it’s women sitting around in sweats and what not. It’ll happen on occasion when the date card comes that day and the girl leaves, but they don’t show her going to get ready.

2) We know Arie brought his dog back after going to Arizona. Do you think the reason he allowed a woman to his hometown and to meet his family so early on was because he had to go and get his dog, so they turned it into a date? No.

3) Do the women really have to pack up all of their things every time they go on a one on one and before every rose ceremony just in case they get sent home? Seems like a big hassle! Yes.



I don’t just don’t get why Ben H never seems to be grouped together with all the other bachelor contestant and their bad behavior. He’s lying about his relationship status – saying on his podcast/ blog he’s single but telling Juliet Litman he’s dating yet his relationship with Lindsey Duke has progressed to the point she’s in on holiday dinners with his parents and ski weekends with his best friends and their wives. This isn’t even the first time he’s lied – Lauren even bought him stuff for his house when she left contrary to what he said. Ashley I indicated he wants a humble church girl yet Lindsey is a partier with a DUI with fake boobs and naked pics on the internet (I guess ben had his own half naked pic shilling hotel rooms in Vegas) and worked herself up the BN food chain from Jef to Robby to “Perfect Ben”. He left his day job to pursue “entertainment opportunities” – I mean he has three tv gigs just in February but because he’s a sweet talker who does charity work he gets elevated to “dream guy”? These ladies do realize he gave up nothing for his relationship with Lauren and then coaxed her into a tv gig where she gets a bad edit and humiliated in front of national audience. I don’t get it. Why do we as women do this to our ourselves? Thanks for the vent:)

Comment: Why Ben still hasn’t admitted he’s been dating Lindsay Duke since this summer I have no idea. He’s doing a horrible job of hiding it.

And as I’ve always said, just because you see them on TV and on their IG pictures and stories, don’t think that’s actually their real life. They’re only showing you what they want to show you.

Hey Steve,

Assuming this isn’t true and probably won’t happen even if ABC really wanted it to, but have you heard anything about the alleged mass bachelor wedding that has merit?

Comment: I saw the story, but that was the first I’d heard of it. I mean, it makes sense for the show to want to do that. To me, it doesn’t make sense for the couples to agree to that. I understand it’d be paid for and televised, but would you really want to “share” your wedding day one or two other couples? Really? Especially when every previous “Bachelor” wedding that’s been televised got it’s own special? Just seems like you’d be selling out for the almighty dollar if that’s the case and it’d kinda look desperate. But hey, weirder things have happened. I just don’t see any of those couples agreeing to share their wedding experience with other couples.

Hey Steve,

I was catching up on episodes of Olivia’s podcast and just finished the Jan 1 episode with Luke Pell. I don’t know if you listen to hers but wondered what you think of that. She either doesn’t believe the Luke drama or she doesn’t care. Does this change your opinion of her? They seem to be friends. I know it is possible for people to draw their own conclusions. I just thought it was interesting.

Comment: No. Haven’t listened to that one but I’m aware she had him on. I’m fine with it. It doesn’t affect me in any way. I’ve made no bones about the fact Olivia’s one of my favorite people from the show. Just because she had Luke on her podcast doesn’t change my opinion of her. She’s allowed to be friends with him and she’s allowed to be friends with me. Will our paths ever cross? Probably not. Has she ever talked to me about Luke? Not really. There are plenty of other instances in this franchise where I’m friends or acquaintances with someone who’s also friends with someone I’ve reported negatively on. It is what it is. Unless that “other” friendship gets in the way of the friendship I have with the person, I have no issues with it.

Hi Steve,

I discovered your site 2 years ago, and am so excited that I did! I’m one of those people who look up movie spoilers before I watch a movie, or read the last few pages of a book before I buy it. I think knowing the ending actually enhances the experience, call me crazy. I’ve also subscribed to your podcasts because I find to be the best of the bunch.

My question is, do you know who all the unnamed Men are from Andi Dorfman’s “Single State of Mind” book that she references? I’ve tried googling certain details that she mentions but can’t seem to narrow it down. Can you help name a few of them at least?

Keep doing what you’re doing!

Comment: No, I don’t. But that seems to be a very popular question. Even if I did know the answers, I’d never share anything like that. If she wanted people to know, she’d tell you. Not my place in that situation to fill people in on which athletes she slept with. No different than me not listing all the women Nick slept with when I said his number was 7. Same difference. Although, I don’t know Andi’s like I do Nick’s.

Hi Steve,

I’m really enjoying listening to the interviews you’ve done with the cast members from the Challenge. I was wondering about the finals. Is it allowed (like by the contestants’ contracts) for producers to lie about times? Can producers technically make anyone a winner, or are they obligated to keep accurate times? It doesn’t seem like that happened in the Dirty 30 (seemed obvious to me who the winners would be, despite not finding out until the reunion aired) but I’m just wondering if it’s possible or if you think it’s likely?


Comment: I mean, could they lie? Sure. But I think TV Standards and Practices wouldn’t allow for something like that to happen. I’m sure because there’s a monetary prize involved, you can’t just make up who you want to win. You’d be opening yourself up to a major lawsuit.

Hi Steve, big fan of yours. I love your honest opinions. Could you please share who you think has been the best Bachelorette and the best Bachelor? I don’t know what you mean by “best.” Most enjoyable season? The one with the best cast? Who was the most entertaining lead? So hard to distinguish. I’ve always said Brad 2.0 was my favorite season to watch, and I liked Ashley’s season for “Bachelorette.”

Also, just thought this would be funny… would you ever consider having someone you don’t really like on your podcast, such as Arie? Ha! Now that would be entertaining.

Comment: Here’s the thing about that: He’d never do it, so there’d be no reason to even ask. Also, having someone like Nick or Arie on the podcast would put me in a very uncomfortable position. And no, not because I’d be talking to someone that I’ve publicly been very critical of. I have no issues with that. It’s just that I know things about both of those guys that they don’t know I know. So if I ask a question that I already know the answer to, and they give me a different answer to cover their ass, then I either A) call them out for being a liar B) keep my mouth shut and accept their lie. I don’t want my guests to feel uncomfortable. My podcasts are a way for them to talk and share their stories. Having guys on like that that I know would lie to me? I’d just rather not have them on to begin with. That’s my take on it, and that’s why I’d never ask them to come on. It’s only setting myself up for a very confrontational interview and they didn’t ask for that.

Now with that said, if for some reason either of those guys said, “I’ve got a bone to pick with you, I WANT to come on your podcast,” then I’d put them on in a heartbeat because now it’s fair game. They requested to be on and are opening themselves up to a tougher line of questioning. I just don’t expect that to ever happen. Hope that makes sense.

Hi Steve,

I just read the questions people were asking you, and the one question where someone ask why Arie would pick Becca, and not someone like Lauren or Kendall since Becca seems to be more mature and ready to be married. I think Arie knows the game he is playing and knows that Becca seems more ready to be married and that makes him look better. He knows everyone has been saying that he isn’t there to find a wife so he picked the one who he felt seem like she wanted to get married.

I think Becca is beautiful and very nice. And she is too good for him. Actually, all the girls on there are too good for him. And I feel for her because my dad died from cancer in December 2016, and it happened very suddenly. He was diagnosed at the end of November 2016 and died just a few weeks later. It is still something I struggle with. My dad was the only man I could ever depend on for anything, and I’m still single, but the guy who I get engaged to and married will be the next guy I will depend on. Sadly, Becca will not have that in Arie. My heart breaks for her. I really hope and pray that Arie has a change of heart. Thanks for listening to my rant.

Comment: Been saying it all season and will continue to say it: I feel sorry for Becca.

I was reading an article about the Survivor ratings over the last few seasons. I was wondering if you had any thoughts! I love Fiji, it makes for beautiful scenery, but I’d love to see something new. As far as I can recall, they’ve always been somewhere pretty tropical. I’d like to see them do a season somewhere with a slightly different climate. A desert? Maybe somewhere cold? I guess I’m just hoping that Survivor isn’t nearing the end of its run… I honestly couldn’t care less what the producers do, as long as the show sticks around! I know you’re a fan too, so I wondered if you had any insight or ideas.

I love what you do!

Comment: I’m fine with the locations. I understand filming back to back seasons in the same general area for cost cutting measures. The show is (35?) seasons in now and still hugely popular. I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon. I doubt they’d ever go to a cold climate. Season 3 in Africa was one of their worst locations ever because it did seem like desert. With tropical, you have so many cool shots and you’re able to do water challenges. I seem them keeping with this theme and I’m fine with it.

Is Bekah one of the girls who spends the time deleting negative comments on Instagram? I didn’t spend a whole lot of time looking, but I seriously saw none..

Comment: Not sure. Haven’t checked her IG. But if there’s a contestant who has ZERO negative comments on IG, then yes, I’m sure they went in and deleted them themselves since no one is universally liked and we know how awful social media trolls can be (as evidenced by Krystal’s IG the last couple weeks). So would it surprise me if she was one that deleted negative comments? No. But I have no idea if she did.

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