-We start with Kendall, and right off the bat, this show went all haywire with the order of hometown dates. Very rarely do they show them in the order they were filmed. Hell, I don’t even remember the last time they did. But these were definitely all mixed up. The order they were filmed were Tia, Lauren, Becca, and Kendall, but as we saw last night, it was shown Kendall, Tia, Becca, then Lauren. I don’t think there’s really much rhyme or reason to why they do it, but it’s always interesting to point out. Kendall starting off in her ITM before Arie got there was her saying she was “so excited to show Arie where I grew up.” Yeah, LA. A place he’s been plenty of times. It’s not like growing up in LA you experienced anything totally out of the ordinary. It’s LA. 4 million people live there. It makes a hell of a lot more sense when someone like Tia says she’s excited to show Arie where she’s from because, lets face it, it’s a town of 716 people and probably not a lot of people have experienced it. LA? Really? If you would’ve said you were excited to show Arie HOW you grew up, you know, with stuffing animals all day long as a hobby, that would’ve made much more sense. Where? Uhhhh, no.
-Because Kendall is a quirky one, you knew they wouldn’t have her get a hometown and not have it be all about her taxidermy obsession. Look, I get it’s different strokes for different folks, but I just don’t get it. Exactly what is remotely fun or interesting about that? Kendall: “I don’t see it as morbid. I don’t see it as gross. I see it as beautiful.” You know what’s even more beautiful? When these animals are actually alive and not stapled onto your wall. She even made a Paris backdrop for a mini play (?) that she put on for the two rats that she and Arie stuffed together, and I have to think at this point he was vomiting in his own mouth. What the hell is going on here? Is this real? Is this girl off her rocker? I’m guessing a much more entertaining hometown date with Kendall would’ve consisted of her chugging semen. Donkey semen of course.
-So we’re going to meet Kendall’s mom Michelle, dad Bob, twin sister Kylie, and brother Colton. Or is it one of those families and it’s Kolton? Barf. Anyway, before Arie and Kendall head to meet the parents, they do some talking and a lot of kissing. Like, a lot. Kendall and Arie are almost one in the same in that when neither have anything to say to the other, they just make out. They made out so much, that by the time Kendall did one of her later ITM’s, she had no lipstick on anymore, yet she had lipstick on when they first sat down. I feel it’s important to note since lipstick tastes awful and I have no idea how Arie does that. Wear that flavored gloss or something. That at least has some appeal to it. No one wants to have lipstick remains in their mouth unless you want him to puke in your family’s bathroom for his first impression.
-Arie meets the family and thanks them for inviting him into their home. Is that really accurate? Did they technically invite him? He invited himself when he chose Kendall for a hometown, no? Yes, they still have to be accepting of it, and I believe Melissa Rycroft’s parents were the only ones who skidaddled their way out of a hometown, so, it’s pretty much a given the family will be there. Quit kissing up this early. They already doubt your intentions with their daughter who’s never had a serious relationship. Kendall and her mom step away to talk first and she says she’s never dated anyone like him before…you know, even though they’ve yet to go on a date yet which makes that statement all the more laughable. She obviously is one that’s never been one to open up much and has never had a relationship longer than 8-10 months, so this is big time for her. Bringing home a guy she still hasn’t gone on a date with, yet, he’s unlike anyone before him. Can only imagine who else she’s been with before him.
-Her sister Kylie is an interesting one. We know she was eyeing the two of them like a hawk at dinner looking for any signs that Arie is a complete douchenugget. When her sister has alone time with her, she tells Kendall that she noticed “a little bit of space between you two.” Yeah, exactly. I still don’t think Arie knows a thing about her other than her love for stuffing dead animals and she likes tonsil hockey just as much as him. Then her sister goes for the jugular: “Is this really my undeniable person? I don’t feel that from you.” And even Kendall is saying on this date, “As of right now, I don’t think I’m ready to be engaged.” The only reason to keep Kendall or Tia this episode was purely physical. Even when Arie pulled her aside later at the rose ceremony, her response was more about this not wanting to end than it was about being engaged. The best part of this date was at the end, when Kendall finally told him how she felt outside her house, neither of these two were even looking in the same direction when she told him she was falling for him. Obviously a big deal for her to say that someone knowing her past, but it had zero feeling behind it and you could tell she was just telling him what she thought he needed/wanted to hear. But go watch it back. It was kinda funny how there was zero connection there. And then she went to her go-to of just making out with him afterwards so she didn’t have to talk about it.
