Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” and One of Becca’s Guys in Some Serious Legal Trouble

Photo Credit: ABC

Hey Steve

I’m just listening to the podcast with Meredith right now.

It came out the same day that I did my first EMDR treatment, related to my own experiences of sexual violence. So after hearing your intro, and reading what you wrote about it, I just wasn’t really feeling safe to listen. But I’m having a decent day and figured I would listen.

I just wanted to thank you for providing a safer space for people to share their experiences.

I also want to thank you for not faking your way through responses.
Often times, when I disclose my experiences, people say things that they think will sound good (“I hope he gets what he deserves”, “I’m sorry”). And while those things are in theory pleasant, the truth is that I would rather not think about someone else brutalizing another human being (despise how much I dislike them), and I also can appreciate the apology but you didn’t do anything wrong.
I appreciate your “thank you for sharing your story”. I appreciate your “I don’t know what to say”.

Thank you for being aware and compassionate. I know it may feel like you’re stumbling through your words, but time and time again (I recall a few other disclosures on your podcast, including Ashley) you respond with honestly, humbleness and compassion.

With hope

Comment: Thanks. I appreciate it. It certainly was the most difficult podcast I’ve done just because I didn’t really know what to say. Just thought of the first thing that came to my head, and remembering reading somewhere that victims of assault don’t want to hear things that bring them back to that moment. I felt awful for what Meredith went through and I’ve been sure to keep in touch with her since. She seems to be doing better and that’s all I can ask for.

Hi Reality Steve,

Fairly long time reader, first time writing in.

I just wanted to say that I thought the podcast with Ashley was great as are all of your podcasts that you’ve been doing on the site for the past year and a half. I also signed up for Stitcher after you talked about the last He Said, She Said with Sharleen, and now I’ve listened to the first few episodes of that as well. I’ll miss Sharleen on it, but I think Ashley will be great. Yes, she will. First episode will be up by the end of the month, and remember it’s free. It will go on my Reality Steve Podcast feed.

Also wanted to mention that I’ve totally gotten back into Survivor because of the recaps you used to have on your site as well as the interview with Stephen Fishbach. Now I’m watching old and current seasons and listening to the podcasts on Rob Has a Podcast. So thanks for that!

Thanks for all that you do! Really love your site.

Comment: Well then you’ll like tomorrow’s podcast I’m sure as I’m having the utmost authority on all things “Survivor” in the media world, Dalton Ross from The amount of coverage that guy has given that show over the years is very impressive. I applaud him for it.

Hey Steve

I was just reading the reader emails from this week and there were quite a few speculating the next bachelor lead. It got me thinking, and the only guy from this current season that I see have any lead qualities is Colton. I know the Tia situation looks shady, but I think there is a way he can play himself up in paradise to make him a candidate. I think he can play a “Nick”, try it with Tia and in the end just say he is looking for more. Thoughts???

Comment: I don’t see Colton being on our screen for three consecutive seasons. It’s never happened before. It’s too much. Granted, crazy things have happened before, but that’s overkill.

Hey Steve,

Reader since the beginning, first time writing in to you…

Question about your sources (hoping you can answer)

Do you find a lot of your sources are people who get info one time and pass it on to you? Or do you have a lot of repeat sources who are in contact with you frequently? Both.

I also wanted to mention that i was surprised after reading your email with that person who had photos of the final rose ceremony in the Maldives. I (incorrectly) assumed you’ve paid for info along the way. I have even more respect for the work you do, knowing you come by it honestly

Have a nice day!

Comment: No. I don’t pay for information. Don’t need to. If I did, I would’ve had those photos and been able to tell you Garrett before TMZ. Oh well. People just like to tell me things.

Hello RS,

In Russia, the Russian bachelor just finished airing its sixth season and wow, it was so interesting to watch. I’ve watched many seasons of our American bachelor/bachelorette seasons and it was really interesting to see the differences amongst the two. One of the biggest differences was that they cast someone who’s pretty famous as the lead, and this season that just aired the lead was a young, good-looking, pretty famous artist. In result their ratings went up and it was said that every 1 in 3 people in Russia watched his season. Do you think that’s something they would ever do here and cast a famous lead? I think they’re done casting a famous lead. Hasn’t happened in years and nobody would buy that a famous person needs the “Bachelor/ette” to find a spouse.

As well, during the season there was one particularly interesting rose ceremony. Instead of handing out the roses to the women, he called them all up one by one to hand out the roses to each other and choose who they thought would be the most deserving & best fit for him. Which makes me wonder, has anything of the sort happened on our American bachelor or has it always been the traditional rose ceremonies? In the early seasons, one time on the first night they asked everyone to vote who they thought least deserved to be there. And that person with the most votes, although everyone thought that meant that person would be going home, actually meant they got the first 1-on-1 of the season. I think it was Jason’s season and Megan Parris was the one who received the most votes if I’m not mistaken.

And lastly, the leads sister mentioned that when they got to meet the final 3 women, they got to meet with each woman for 6-7 hours while they filmed to give the bachelor their advice & opinions on who they like and who he should choose. It made me wonder, approximately how much time do our leads’ family get to spend with the women or men, I would think it would be less because it always seemed that they were there for the evening portion of the day.
Thanks so much for answering!

Comment: They get the one day on the hometowns, but even then, they don’t meet the other person until they bring them home for dinner. So a few hours.

Hi Steve,

I’m a huge fan of yours. I know many people are shifting the focus to who the next Bachelor will be and throwing out ideas, some of which you addressed in your last blog. If you had to guess at this point who production is eyeing, who would you guess? What are your thoughts on Dean becoming next Bachelor (I hope not)? I ask because he has stayed in the Bachelor bubble and they seem to like him. Do you think Blake could carry the show?


Comment: I don’t think they’d ever go with Dean. It doesn’t matter if Blake could carry a show or not. This show is made through the casting of contestants, not the lead. There have been plenty of leads who didn’t move the needle for the audience, yet they’re there every season to watch.

Steve: just want to let you know the Lauren podcast was great. I never had any doubt she was classy and real. Of course, all those juicy Ben details is what we’ve all been waiting for and it really delivered. I liked Ben and when watching his season I liked him and Lauren together, but ultimately you could tell it was a compatibility issue. Even when he said all that stuff so soon after that break up, I never thought she was the picture that was portrayed. Anyone who trolls and continues to beat up on people based of what they see on a tv show or hear on a podcast needs to get a life and read up on how the media works to manipulate its viewers, whether it’s reality tv, the news, the news papers, online ads, the food industry etc. Again, great to hear her side. Thanks. I thought Lauren was great and someone who I really appreciated following through on things she said she was gonna do. It’s refreshing having dealt with others who just can’t seem to commit to anything.

I hope you decide to still publish/address my email after this next comment:

I do commend you on how you addressed the Garrett thing and am impressed how you won’t keep beating the issue to death. However, it shows you how low some people do stoop to get their 15 minutes or to get a story out into the news. While I don’t agree with some of Garrett’s “likes” I think the story was overblown by Ashley and the original troll who found the “likes”. I agree that it needed to be touched on, but the fact is, people watch this show and other trash tv for entertainment. We are bombarded with political correctness and social agenda on a constant basis anymore. Through every social media post, to the news, Saturday Night Live, Rosanne, etc – it is everywhere and people are tired of it. It doesn’t make any issues moot, don’t get me wrong. Getting to my point, this is a perfect example of something being pushed in the media to manipulate a large populations viewpoint of not only a person, but to push another leftist/liberal agenda. Although you are correct in stating that some of Garrett’s “likes” are a human decency issue and not a left or right issue, the fact is that these ‘human decency issues’ are tied to conservative people and open up yet another hateful discussion to be aired on national tv about how if you’re a conservative you must be a white supremacist and a hateful person.

Comment: So was the first part of the email to butter me up for the second part? Ha ha…I’m done talking about the Garrett situation because nothing matters anymore. I’ve said what I said, I believe he never should’ve liked those, it was a horrible look, I liked his apology, and here we are. No need to dive into it anymore because it goes nowhere.

Hi Steve!

Do you know anything about Luke Pell & Holly Allen breaking up? They unfollowed each other on IG. She even went back and unliked every picture/video of his. I had my suspicions when they didn’t like each other’s pictures recently. She’s in Nashville currently (where he lives), and he’s in Florida.

Comment: No.

Hi Steve! Big fan of your site and podcasts, and really enjoyed the recent one with Lauren Bushnell. Something that you alluded to in both Lauren (and Meredith’s) podcast was the fact that you pre-told Lauren that you were going to ask questions about Ben, or pre-asked Meredith about her life circumstances right now. How much do you discuss with the interview subject beforehand about what will be asked during the podcast? Is it mostly so they know what to expect and can prepare things? Do they ever provide suggestions about what questions they want you to ask? Do you pre-chat about anything else? Just curious about your process. Keep up the great work!

Comment: Every person varies. The only thing with Lauren is she didn’t want an hour conversation about Ben. And neither did I. We spent a good 20 minutes of the 90 on Ben, and that was fine with me. Some people ask what I want to talk about just so they have an idea going in, but none have ever specifically told me “Don’t talk about that.” At least no major topics that come to mind.

1- wouldn’t he have been with Sydney at this time?

2- production started in September?

Comment: Lauren met Arie at a race in Dallas last June and took a pic with him that day. She brought it on her limo entrance, but it was never shown. That’s what she’s referring to. She had met him pre-show briefly at a race months before going on the show.

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  1. rob22

    June 13, 2018 at 9:16 AM

    RS is implying that The Bachelorette show should have known about Lincoln’s arrest. It’s possible that they could. But many background checks don’t include arrests, only convictions. And, in California, there’s a state law that doesn’t allow employers to ask for arrests. So, since The Bachelorette is California based, I doubt that a standard background check would get them arrest records. Arrests are public records, so it would still be possible for the show to uncover them, but they’d run a risk of running afoul of the state law. So my guess is that they only get convictions. Therefore, they would have had no visibility of Lincoln’s arrest. I’m personally OK with this mostly. Lots of people get arrested and either not prosecuted or later get acquitted. To get arrested, all you need is a police officer making a decision to arrest you. There’s often very little evidence gathered at the time of the arrest, and obviously there’s been no trial, etc. So an arrest could mean very little. Using arrest records has the potential of putting a lot of extra burden on someone who’s done nothing.

  2. shenanigans

    June 13, 2018 at 10:22 AM

    Rob 22. This is all true. However, I suspect that the questionnaire Lincoln completed to be on the show specifically asked him to list any arrests on his record (regardless of the outcome of the case). If they asked that question and he didn’t disclose it, he is the one who violated their contract.

  3. crushonspivey

    June 13, 2018 at 2:49 PM

    If Ashley Spivey keeps this up, she’ll unintentionally get the show cancelled. ABC is so uber lefty, this stuff won’t stand, right. I mean if Lassiter is going, they cancel shows over Twitter postings, why let the awful screening let the show go on? And in this 3metoo era, how does Bach in Paradise even make it on air. Booze + loose fame hungry skeezy contestants. What could else could go wrong?

  4. upmyalley

    June 13, 2018 at 3:41 PM

    Well it seems Ashley and Steve have a new vocation of outing people. Of course I am outraged by the actions of the perp but I’ve lost all respect for RS and I think Ashley is just a nosy, arrogant gash who needs to focus on her own life. These recent happenings between Smashly the feminazi and Stevo leave a bad taste in my mouth.

  5. tamara

    June 13, 2018 at 3:46 PM

    I am surprised by some of the hostile posts (calling ashley a gash?). Very sad to me. I think it is an important realization about Lincoln. Something seemed off to me about him all along. And Garrett’s likes show he is in agreement with those posts. they were not just conservative they were cruel and aggressive, rather than just having an opinion that differs from some folks. And then people judge Steve and Ashley for talking about it. Sad times, imho. no need to fight with me about this, please. not interested.

  6. billhobbs23

    June 13, 2018 at 8:32 PM

    Not true…Federal AND State laws allow for OPEN cases to be included in consumer reports.

  7. billhobbs23

    June 13, 2018 at 8:34 PM

    @shenanigans If the application was “employment” related, the prod co is NOT allowed to even ask about anything other than convictions.

  8. tinyred500

    June 13, 2018 at 11:52 PM

    It could even be the franchises distributers Warner Bros., that cancel. Don’t forget it was them who ordered production to shut down last seasons BIP, and it was them who had an independent inquiry completed.

  9. tinyred500

    June 14, 2018 at 12:27 AM

    Irrespective of what people think of their findings, because that’s a whole other story as we know. Both Steve and Ashley are now coming across as a couple of busy-bodies. Will they be conducting investigation’s into the female contestant’s for the Bachelor too?

    I think crushonspivey comment about the shows/franchise getting cancelled could become a reality sooner rather than later, if this continues.

  10. jlal

    June 14, 2018 at 4:51 AM

    Wow, upmyalley “gash”? That disgusting comment says way more about you than Ashley.

    The show or BIP are not getting canceled because of Lincoln. Unless he assaulted Becca and I haven’t heard about it yet. The #MeToo and #TimesUp movementa are about sexual assault and harassment, and the marginalization of women which has gone on since the beginning of time in not just our society, but around the world. It has nothing to do with consenting single people getting their freak on.

    Crshonspivey – Posting a racist Twitter post comparing an African American woman to a monkey, when you’re a TV star working for a network is it not even in the same category as Garrett. White people have been using the monkey comparison to marginalize and insult the black race since the beginning of time, especially in the US.

    Garrett posted or liked stuff (from what I read since I don’t do social media, so not sure) that reflected his opinions about homosexuals and transgender people. While some may not agree with his opinions he didn’t personally denigrate someone because of their race. Many people have his opinion (if it is his) based on their religious beliefs which he is free to have; that is what this country was founded on. As long as he didn’t and doesn’t openly discriminate, as in denying someone a job, or selling them a home, etc. he hasn’t done anything wrong. And, his employer apparently didn’t have an issue with his posts; Roseanne’s did as did the sponsors of the show.

    RS being puritanical in his judgements of others is nothing new; he has been that way since I started reading this site. Don’t know about Ashley and frankly don’t care about Ashley or her opinions.

  11. jlal

    June 14, 2018 at 5:06 AM

    One more thing, as someone who has done background checks, things can be missed especially if someone lies. That being said, I bet after this they’ll be way more thorough in the checks.

  12. doctordiva

    June 14, 2018 at 7:12 AM

    @Rob22 I’m wondering if there’s a difference between arrest vs charges vs convictions. Everyone who is arrested isn’t charged with a crime. Sometimes you are just brought in for questioning and if the circumstances don’t add up you will be let go. Lincoln was charged so he’s on file and the case is open. It should have shown up in court documents. I understand if they can’t go to police precincts and see who was arrested but he clearly had been charged with this, stood trial, and was merely awaiting a verdict. I feel like the show could’ve done a better job but I’m sure they will look more closely into these people from now on.

  13. rob22

    June 14, 2018 at 7:45 AM

    @doctordiva: in California, the employment laws are much stricter than most of the rest of the country. So, I don’t know if they consider contestants “employees”, or not… it’s a gray area, for sure. But if they ran a background check, it would only likely include convictions, or they risk a lawsuit. Anyone could legally challenge them if they collected arrests on a background check. Likely whoever is doing the background check wouldn’t agree to include arrests either, because they could be put in legal jeopardy, as well. I doubt the suits at ABC would take the chance in gathering “iffy” data, anyway.

    Now, the point was made that they could have asked whether contestants have been arrested. And based on the show’s latest comments, it look like they did, and Lincoln lied. So, again, RS is blaming the show for not knowing. If the background check legally could not include arrests, and Lincoln lied on the application, how is that the show’s fault? They did what they were legally allowed to do and Lincoln’s arrest did not show up. Definitely it’s Lincoln’s fault for lying. But since he was unpaid, I doubt there is much the show can do legally. He may have breached the contract, but he wasn’t paid. If the shows have decent ratings, it will be hard to show they were harmed. And they probably want the news to fade away…. any filings on their part just keep this in the news for months longer. So, I suspect that, like everything else, this topic will fade away. The media and gossip sites will move on to the next thing.

  14. fishbelt

    June 14, 2018 at 3:58 PM

    Lincoln was convicted and has to register as a sex offender. Surprised Steve didn’t pick up on this.

  15. fishbelt

    June 14, 2018 at 4:06 PM

    TMZ had this scoop before Steve asked the SJW to copy and paste it. TMZ also had the Final Rose pics, Steve did not. Go to TMZ for all things scandalous about the Bachelor series.

  16. upmyalley

    June 14, 2018 at 6:24 PM

    Fishbelt, tmz is indeed becoming a good source and it’s entirely possible that some of Stevo’s sources may decide they would like to be paid for their info. Wouldn’t that be a hoot!

  17. upmyalley

    June 14, 2018 at 6:29 PM

    @tamera I only have one response. I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks, at all, about anything. I am 100% true to myself and those I love only. It works for me. Life is good. Bubye.

  18. willowby

    June 15, 2018 at 5:46 AM

    Tamara, many people out there who agree with you. We’re just not as vocal and most probably don’t even read RS. I can’t look at Garrett now and not think of him as a hateful and ignorant. And for Becca to come to his defense and urge people to be “open-minded” is disturbing. The show must do better for its contestants. RS and Ashley and all the investigators are doing society a public service by outing these douchbags.

  19. corn29

    June 18, 2018 at 8:57 PM


    > I can’t look at Garrett now and not think of him as a hateful and ignorant

    The only ignorant person here is you. Despite your SJW leanings, it’s still entirely possible to express an opinion and NOT have you or your ilk attack someone in return.

    It’s a social media “like”. That’s it. Garrett has not indicated otherwise that he has discriminated against someone based upon any preferences or attributes about that person.

    It’s just that Garrett’s personal preference is not aligned with LGBTQIA+ things.

    That’s okay.

    I get that you @willowby are an intolerant, hateful, person who makes assumptions about others instead of having mature and emotionally intelligent conversations about it. But that’s okay; I would never hold that against you like you do Garrett. Especially in a non-verbal, online, manner.

  20. corn29

    June 18, 2018 at 8:59 PM


    Totally agree.

    WHO the F appointed Ashley the Bachelor hall monitor?

  21. willowby

    June 19, 2018 at 12:36 PM

    Corn29. You seem nice. Look, what I’m saying is one does not arbitrarily click on “like” unless one agrees with what is posted. Those were some pretty intolerant memes he liked. That tells us a lot about someones values. I’m hardly intolerant or hateful, thank you very much. Quite the opposite. Have a great day!

  22. upmyalley

    June 19, 2018 at 5:26 PM

    Plenty of syuff in the news lately about the current state of what the press calls “immigrants”. In my opinion they refuse to call people who enter our country illegally, illegals. Am i to be judged because I like immigrants but don’t like illegals if I like a meme about it? I just think it’s shallow to judge someone on their social media likes, especially someone you’ve never met. I probably woouldn’t like anyone based on that criteria. Just be true to yourself first.

  23. upmyalley

    June 19, 2018 at 5:30 PM

    @corn29 Excuse my ignorance but what does swj stand for? Tia.

  24. realitynyc12

    June 20, 2018 at 10:42 AM

    @upmyalley, to answer your question, yes you are to be judged, if you are so caught up in the term “immigrants” vs “illegals” that you don’t see that these are human beings too and while maybe yes, they shouldn’t try to get into this country illegally, they don’t deserve to have their children (of all ages!) Ripped away from them and put into cages like in a freaking concentration camp. And if you happen to watch that video where a guard is joking about all the noise children are making crying out for their parents as “orchestra”, and you feel nothing about that, then yes you will be judged as a person with no heart. How about that? Has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with basic human compassion which some people decided is no longer a requirement these days.

    Probably not the smartest idea bringing this whole thing up as an example, when it has nothing to do with what is being discussed above anyway.

    You have a nice day.

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