Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Updated Leo News, & An Apology To Colton

Photo Credit: ABC

Hello! Something I read in your post this week about nick being chosen kind of randomly reminded me that in Josh’s first podcast, he says that when they were trying to convince him to go on BIP right after the breakup with Andi, they tried to sway him by telling him they wanted to pick their next bachelor from BIP. A few months later, much to the surprise of the viewers, they chose nick. Do you think there is any truth to this and that they actually had a plan the whole time to pick someone from paradise?

Comment: I don’t doubt that producers may have told him that because I heard that myself years ago. Whether they were actually being truthful to him is an entirely different story.

Hey Steve,

In watching the MTA I was wondering how much about the rest of the season do the men know after they left the show? Clearly they could read the spoilers like the rest of us, but do the producers let them know who is engaged/or is there talk between the contestants about how far everyone got?

Love your spoilers, they make watching this dumpster fire of a show more enjoyable!

Comment: Producers? No. Other contestants in a group chat and reading spoilers? Yes.

Hi, Steve,

After reading your comments on Becca’s recent interview comments re: Lincoln, I feel like giving my comments on her reactions to controversial actions. She obviously seems to want to be cordial, but there comes a point where saying nothing and being overly PC becomes an endorsement for bad behavior in the sense that it normalizes it. I looked a little bit down on her for becoming the Bachelorette in the first place after the way the show treated her, but it was still understandable. Not calling out the show for that treatment was understandable too because she hadn’t filmed her season yet. But now she has. If I were her, I would have been disgusted to find out my fiancé liked hateful internet posts and I would have said so publicly, *not* said that stupid “Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion” line. No, no one is entitled to hate. She again missed the point when she said that she was never alone with Lincoln. So what? As if that keeps you safe? Speaking from experience, it doesn’t. (And on Kaitlyn’s season, a man touched Kaitlyn’s rear end while she wasn’t looking and they aired it.) There is a date specifically for being alone on the show. Say *something*, Becca. Say that he never should have been cast. I’m just so disappointed. Hate and sexual assault are not things to be swept under the rug. It was nice when she denounced cyberbullying re: Tia, but she won’t denounce things done by her fiancé or a guy the show is responsible for casting. It makes me wonder if she’s in denial as to the gravity of the controversies or if she’s just hiding her true feelings. I would hope she doesn’t actually think the show is not at fault for casting Lincoln.

Comment: Yesterday she finally did. Albeit late and probably because she’s heard a lot of people call her out for it, but she finally said something, ANYTHING, regarding her feelings on the Lincoln situation. It was the last sentence in this article in Variety that was posted yesterday. “But I don’t condone his actions.” Not sure why she couldn’t have said that two weeks ago at the MTA taping when she was first asked about it, but hey, at least she finally said it.

I expected to hear alot more after your interview with Meredith and the sexual misconduct and I heard NOTHING. Anything on your end?

Comment: I’ve spoken with Meredith since. It was a tough decision, but she said she got a new promotion at work and she just didn’t want to pursue anything further legally with them. She just wants to move on from it.

Do you ever wonder who Nick would have picked if he had Arie’s girls and vice versa? Applies to basically all seasons. I wonder about that.

Comment: No, because you’ll drive yourself batty over something you’ll really never get an answer to.


My question is short and sweet. Why on earth do people love Grocery Joe so much? I don’t get it.


Comment: At the MTA, he came across as kind of a dud. At least we saw a little something out of him last night on Paradise. Different strokes for different folks.

Hey Steve,

Hopefully not a repeat question, I haven’t been combing the reader emails each week as I sometimes do…

What are Jojo and Jordan doing? Some sort of reality show? Dancing? It’s been all over their IG stories for a couple weeks I wanna say? Started with “Were going to be sharing stories from something that we’re doing but we can’t tell you what it is yet…”

Do we know?


Comment: Yeah, they’re doing a home design and decor show for the Kin’s network. Officially announced last week.

Hi Steve!

I have been reading your site for years–thank you!

I’m surprised that you seem so adamant about not watching The Story of Us: Jared and Ashley. There are a couple reasons this seems unusual: 1) It’s a very candid and interesting insight into the difference between what has been shown of their relationship on Bachelor in Paradise and what happens in real life. Since you seems to lament so often that reality TV is not real and producer manufactured, it seems like it would be interesting to get a perspective on that from the couple themselves (for example, they detail what happened between BiP seasons 2 and 3 which helped clarify for me why Ashley acted the way she did). 2) You seem to like to give relationship advice (Dr. Steve, new podcast). Again, The Story of Us is an honest look at how the relationship developed for real and has some fascinating points about timing, friendship and commitment.

So you have commented many times that you don’t care about these people or their relationship and that’s why you refuse to watch The Story of Us. But your job is writing about the Bachelor franchise, you do purport to outline the difference between TV and real relationships and you have a relationship advice podcast. So for all those reasons, I suggest you watch The Story of Us and I think you’ll find the insight helpful on many levels.

Comment: I’m good, thanks. I’m not interested nor do I care about their relationship, so nothing in a 45 minute video will interest me. Then again, there isn’t a single couple in America who could put out a 45 minute video about their courtship that I would watch. So they shouldn’t feel too offended.

1. One of your readers from last week said they doubt that Colton is really a virgin. I think if he was lying, some woman would have come forward by now. I think that some people don’t believe him because he is a football player. However, Tim Tebow is famously a virgin. Ryan Hoag from Deanna’s season and Bachelor Pad also said he is a virgin. How ironic is it that the three guys in the history of this show who claimed to be virgins or born-again virgins, Ryan, Sean Lowe, and Colton, are all football players? I suspect that there may have been a few more on this show, but they probably didn’t want millions of people to know that they were virgins. Yeah, is quite interesting. And I do think he is as well. No guy would die on the sword this much over a storyline just for sh**s and giggles.

2. Speaking of virgins, I remember a few years ago, Nick Viall was spotted hanging out with Sadie Murray at the VMA’s. I know you’ve said that Nick slept with 7 women from this franchise before his season of the bachelor, but you wouldn’t say who they are (besides And, Kaitlyn and Jen). But could you reveal if she is definitely not one of the 7? It would be a completely 360 degree shift for her to go from being a virgin on Prince Lorenzo’s season to sleeping with one of the sleaziest guys from this show. I’ve never revealed who the others were for a reason.

3. I agree with your other emailers that Colton didn’t come off well on the men tell all. But, he said in an interview with Us Magazine that he isn’t talking about his relationship with Ali because she is going through enough right now and that she is a great role model. So, I respect that he is not trashing his ex, unlike Garrett. He’s not the most sincere guy who has been on this show, but he is far from the worst. No, he definitely isn’t the worst. I just don’t get why he’s lying about something kinda ridiculous. And the more he covers it up, the worse it gets. I don’t get it. Why would you tell America “I’ve only seen her once” when you haven’t? Just admit you hung out with her a couple times. No one would’ve batted an eye. But when you say you’ve only seen her once, then other statements contradict that, you look shady and it looks like you’re hiding something.

4. I think that Becca was being generous when she said that she had a great bunch of guys on her season. After watching the men tell all, it was obvious that this was not the most mature group of guys that have been on this show. Maybe it’s because the group as a whole was a little younger than Rachel’s guys. I mean, compare this tell all to last year’s men tell all, when the show actually had a serious discussion about racism.

Comment: I get that she was toe’ing the company line and is afraid to say/address certain things. She’d already spoken about Garrett when the IG stuff came out months ago. I didn’t expect her to address Leo’s soft porn past. That’s fine and dandy. But what she just said in that Variety interview yesterday about not condoning Lincoln’s actions could’ve easily been said two weeks ago.

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  1. LynnMJ

    August 8, 2018 at 10:55 AM

    I remember how creepy it was when Leo was on his date with Becca, getting way too touchy-feely. Gross. It truly made my skin crawl.

  2. rob22

    August 8, 2018 at 12:27 PM

    I agree. Leo is a creeper. That look of his doesn’t work unless you’re trying to make everyone’s skin crawl. I can kinda sorta understand when boyfriends and girlfriends send naked pics to one another. Stupid. But I understand it. I do not understand a guy sending an unsolicited d*ck-pic to multiple women. What guy thinks that’s going to be a winning move?

  3. pugmom

    August 8, 2018 at 12:51 PM

    I have to admit Leo really is pretty creepy. I really feel bad for Rachel. When I read her blog about the finale, I know she opened up quite a bit about how she felt about the finale. In my opinion she should create some distance between herself and the franchise. I also kinda disagree about them showing more of Becca’s relationship with Garrett. I feel like they focused more on everyone else. But in the finale they did show quite a bit of her date with him. But that’s the most time they dedicated to that.

  4. tinyred500

    August 8, 2018 at 1:05 PM

    I’ll wade into this one with Leo, I too noticed his date with Becca….hmmm, I can’t say I disagree with the above comments. However I do have say how ‘handsey’ most Bachelors are even when on a first group date or one on one. They aren’t adverse to bum touching or a hand on the upper thigh that early on. Whether they are actively told or encouraged to (by the producers) I have no idea….I find it too forward.

  5. jlal

    August 8, 2018 at 2:14 PM

    Leo never creeped me out before, but send dic pics is just wrong. Rob22, I’m with you all the way. I don’t get sending naked pics at, but kinda get the boyfriend and girlfriend thing. However even then, how do you know what they’re are going to do when you break up. But, sending them unsolicited to anybody is stupid and creepy. Also, agree tinyred that some of the guys seem way too forward way too soon.

  6. jlal

    August 8, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    I didn’t read Rachel’s blog, always thought they sacrificed her story to play up Peter. Who then turned around and screwed them by turning down the bachelor offer. For the record, I was never a Peter fan; didn’t get his appeal.

  7. pugmom

    August 8, 2018 at 4:36 PM

    I agree. I never really understood why people were so crazy over him.

  8. tinyred500

    August 9, 2018 at 12:23 AM

    That should have been ‘handsy’…typo! Pffft!

  9. jlal

    August 9, 2018 at 5:39 AM

    tinyred500, No worries!! I quit apologizing for my typos; hate that this site doesn’t have an edit feature.
    It is really hard using my phone, which I have to do at home. There is a big delay in typing the letter and it showing up, so I screw up all the time.

    One more thought on Leo, or really on posting dic pics. I think that sending unsolicited dic pics is the same as flashing someone. You’re exposing your private parts to someone who doesn’t want to see them, didn’t ask to see them, and has no control over seeing them. Not to mention you have no control over who see them – meaning it could be a child. It should be criminal.

  10. tinyred500

    August 9, 2018 at 6:03 AM

    The thing with the internet and thus the ease of contact via social media, is that it’s removed people away from ‘feelings’ or ‘responsibility’, how another person would feel with an action or words committed by another person. If you relate it to real life, any normal person would never dream of jumping through your window and flashing their privates at you, or give you a mouthful of what they think about you having never met you etc. So many fail to engage their brains.

  11. supersparklyday

    August 10, 2018 at 9:55 PM

    I read Rachel’s blog of the Finale and did not enjoy how she made Becca’s finale all about her, with an occasional “but I’m happy for Becca & Garrett” thrown in there. I won’t be reading anything else of hers from now on.

  12. logo65

    August 13, 2018 at 2:23 PM

    I read Rachel’s blog, and she seems to be saying that Becca wasn’t blindsided by a breakup on ATFR like she was. Um, hello? Did she forget Arie’s season? Was that enough of an emotional blindside? is this a competition? I imagine the producers did it that way because the Peter story was way better TV than the Bryan story. I am glad she is happy, but ratings is ratings.

  13. upmyalley

    August 14, 2018 at 9:50 PM

    Speaking of creepy, I can’t even hear the name Sean Lowe without bile coming up into my mouth.No freaking way I’d listen to a 2 hour podcast of his holier than thou diatribe. Ewww, he just grosses me out.

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