Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” BIP Reunion Finale “Spoilers,” & Leo Being Leo Again

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve!

First time emailer, long time reader.

I’m getting caught up on your podcasts and just recently listened to the Sean Lowe one you did. Unless I heard wrong, he basically said the producers pick who the lead is taking on their one on one dates (at least in the beginning). I guess my question is why don’t they let the lead pick who they want to take on their one on one?

Thanks for all your spoilers! I’ll never understand how you know everything you do, but glad you share with us!

Comment: The short answer is because it’s a TV show. This show has never been and never will be a show to find the perfect match for their lead. So they plan dates accordingly.

Leo fights like my ex, gets defensive by going on the offensive. Everything is the other person’s fault. There’s no winning. There’s not even any civil discussions. Run Kendall run.

Comment: She knows now.

HI Steve,

I really enjoy your spoilers and podcast.

I had a question after last week’s episode with Bri.

She mentioned that she consulted with you as to whether to do Paradise or not and you had a few conversations about it.

Do the Bachelor/Bachelorette people often ask your opinion as to what to do after their seasons? And if so, how does this come about – do you reach out to them or them to you?

If not, how did Bri know to talk to you about this? Did you know her before the show?


Comment: She wasn’t the first and she won’t be the last. After their seasons, it’s a mixture of both. Some I’ll hit up, some will hit me up. It varies.

Hey Steve,

Have you heard what went down with Benoit and Clare after Winter Games and their engagement?

Comment: Not too much other than I heard they didn’t really see each other that much.


1) Do you think they tried to get Clare on this season of BIP in order to create drama with Benoit? No.

2) Have there been any podcast guests that you’ve had that have surprised you in any way? Either content-wise, or just generally being more engaging than you anticipated? Yes. A few that come to mind were Lesley Murphy (one of my all time favorites), DeAnna (probably the lead to spilled the most “tea” about her season), and Kenny King. Just a good guy. There are definitely more but without going back and looking at 90+ past guests, those immediately come to mind.

3) Are there any people that you’d like to come on the podcast, but for whatever reason don’t think they actually would? Who/why not? I don’t talk about stuff like that because I don’t want fans contacting those people, and I know they would.

4) Do you reach out to most of the podcast guests, or do you find that a lot of them are reaching out to you now? I’ve never put someone on the podcast who reached out to me. I think only one has anyway, like, where they essentially invited themselves on. Everyone on the podcast I contact and ask them to come on outside of one or two.

5) Do you think the Bachelor franchise will ever do anything around “super fans” again? I doubt it. But maybe they should for Paradise next season to change things up.

6) How is Luka? 🙂

Comment: She’s getting better by the day. First three days, she peed in the house every day. She hasn’t done it since.

Hi Steve! Just a couple of questions for you since you said that you were low on Reader Emails this week. So sorry if you have been asked these before!

Are contestants from the most recent season discouraged or advised against coming on your podcast? I was actually wondering about this during Becca’s season, and then you had Christon on a few weeks ago so it sparked my interest. Just curious as to how much say the show has in regard to the post show activities of the contestants. I’ve never been told by someone I asked to come on the podcast they couldn’t do it because the show told them not to. There are some that have said no because they THINK the show wouldn’t like it and they don’t want to ruffle feathers. But none ever said, “The show told me not to do it.”

If Arie and Lauren do indeed end up walking down the aisle in Janularie (or whatever they’re calling it these days), will you send them a gift? Just curious if your rule on buying a wedding gift would still apply since he didn’t end up with his first final “pick”. No. Only for the final pick.

Also, congrats on Luka! She is so precious, and it is so great to see that you have adopted another pup. I know that she will bring you so much joy! Thanks so much as always for everything that you do.

Comment: Thanks. She’s starting to get the routine now. It’s going great. Although she still hates being crated when I leave. She’s happy as a clam when I get back, but it takes her a good 2-3 minutes to calm down once I’m home. Jumping, howling, wailing – she really doesn’t like me to leave.

Hi! Been reading for a while now, but this is my first time emailing. Thanks for the spoilers, makes it easier and more bearable to watch!

So some questions:

1. Given what’s come to light, is Leo going to be attending the reunion show? Lincoln was probably in a worse situation as his went to court, but I mean, giving him a platform, attention of any kind isn’t a good look. Yes, he was there. No real drama.

2. Bekah must feel a bit vindicated. I don’t understand why she engages or says things she knows will get her in a back and forth, but watching last night’s episodes, I know a lot more people probably believe what she put out here. The guy is trash and seems to have no awareness. I agree.

3. I couldn’t agree more with what Raven said last week to Tia about Colton going after the “IT” girl of the time. I wish she could have thrown in Aly Raisman’s name as he did go after her after her run at the Olympics, publicly asking her out. Is it me or even though Raven said that, she also called him a great guy in post interviews about her time on the show and blah blah blah, so I’m wondering… does bachelor nation always feel the need to defend people within the franchise? It’s strange to me because I don’t feel bad saying Colton is probably not all that nice to women, knows exactly what he’s doing, etc. Sort of like Dean last year. People think he’s innocent because of his looks, you know? Some do, some don’t. It’s hit or miss. Some are VERY calculated in what they say publicly, but privately, will bash someone. As for Colton, I don’t think he’s a bad guy. He’s just a liar and an opportunist. Got a lot of those in this franchise.

Sorry, that was a long one, and it doesn’t really get under my skin, but I find it weird how people within the franchise typically stick up for these guys regardless of their track record. I will never get the whole Colton thing, see right through it.

And lastly,

4. I know you’re a big FNL fan. Recently watched the series after trying for so long. I LOVED. Is it a universal thing that all fans agree Julie Taylor is probably the worst character on the show?

Comment: Of all the characters, I’d say yes. Although to her credit, I do think she got better in the later seasons. The sleeping with the teacher thing wasn’t a great storyline, but I thought her ending up with Saracen was the right move.

Hello Steve! Long long time reader first time writer. I have a few questions for you/observations.

1. Wow Leo! Do you remember a time a decently well liked Bachelor/Bachelorette character goes on to tarnish their reputation this badly on BIP? Maybe Dean? But he sort of seemed to redeem himself on Winter Games. Do you think there is anyway for Leo to redeem himself? I feel like it would be pretty tough with his current attitude. We will never see Leo on Bachelor programming ever again, I’m sure of it. And if they do, shame on them.

2. Speaking of BIP, for some reason I feel like this season feels more disingenuous than others. It seems like there is no strong leads we can get behind. I am thinking they believed maybe Tia would have been their next Raven, and that did not really pan out. Or perhaps it is because Becca’s guys all seem to be a bunch of bro dudes. I cannot exactly put my finger on what the issue is. I think your second point is closer to it. Not the most likable bunch of guys.

3. I listen to the Bachelor Party podcast, along with yours of course. I heard Nick and Ben on there recently, and they seem to be very pro Blake for the next bachelor. Do you think they take into consideration at all what former contestants think the next bachelor/bachelorette should be, or they could care less?

Comment: No. Nick and Ben have no influence one way or another. Nor do any other contestants.

OMG, is it just ME or does Kevin’s voice sound exactly like Napoleon Dynamite’s voice?! I cant even listen to him talk without thinking of that movie. HA HA

Comment: He’s basically his clone.


I know you have addressed this before. Why don’t they bring back Bachelor Pad. They had 3 seasons then changed to Bachelor in Paradise. It would be interesting to see how many so called “couples” would go for money vs. “love”. If you think about it, Bachelor in Paradise is the same shit, different day format as well. Meaning one person goes on a date, makes a connection until another person arrives then you have a triangle. I would like to see the Bachelor Pad show over the Bachelor in Paradise. You said it best in yesterday’s post that none of these ppl are on this show to make a real connection. They are more in it to basically screw around and promote their product.

Love your blog

Comment: Chris Harrison has said it’s because that show was so focused on winning money, and that’s not what the show is. I doubt we’ll see it again.

Hey RS Long time emailer here with a few questions!

1)If you were a betting man who would you bet on to be the next bachelor? Jason. And I’m basing that on nothing. Strictly a guess.

2) Do you know the relationship status of Jordan and Jenna? Still engaged.

3) Do you think The Bachelor franchise is done with Leo? Yes.

4) Who Do you expect to last longer Arie and Lauren or Becca and Garrett? Arie & Lauren.

5) Do you think Winter Games will be renewed?

Comment: I honestly don’t know. The fact we’ve heard nothing about it makes me think no.

Hi Steve,

Hope you’re keeping well. Last year I emailed you for advice on how to draft in my first ever NFL Fantasy league. I had the 1st pick over all, and decided (against your advice!) to go with David Johnson over Leveon Bell as I can’t stand the Steelers, and we all know how that went! If it matters, I did take your QB advice and that paid off. I am back again seeking your wisdom! I have the 2nd overall pick. We’re in a 14 team, non PPR league, and we’ll be doing the ‘snake’ style of picking. #1 has already said he’s going to choose Gurley, so, here I am again – Bell or Johnson? Or do you have another suggestion? Should I buy into the Saquon Barkley hype and take him over the others? Any thoughts on potential sleeper picks I can pick up in a later round? Would very much appreciate your advice – and I promise to take it this year 🙂

Comment: LeVeon Bell. There really aren’t sleepers anymore in fantasy because there’s so much access to info now that everyone has.

Steve, I live in Dallas and have been following you since your very beginnings — have just a comment and no question. Media have been touting Chris Harrison’s new restaurant in Dallas (where he and I grew up). He’s actually a partner/investor and it’s not really “his restaurant.” Sounds like he can be the public face of the new brewpub from his Bachelor gig — media headlines are “will you accept this beer?” Funny, but as you always say, strike while the iron is hot, so good on him. Hope it’s a successful venture, built on the back of the Bachelor. I actually mean this. Life is short — take your opportunities where you can.. That goes for all of us. Love what you do, Steve, keep it up.

Comment: I didn’t go to the opening because, well, I didn’t have any interest in going, but I don’t fault him for putting his name on it. Why not? Works for him I guess and you’ve got the curiosity factor from Bachelor fans.

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  1. katieottawa

    August 29, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    you know what i rarely post about this show mainly because i dont care about any of these people and i forget about it 5 secs after watching it. but i felt compelled to write here that i am more supportive of the men than the women on this season.

    personally i found the men to be much more serious, loyal and genuine to the women they were interested in than the women who seemed to care more about the attention of multiple men on them and playing games.

    jordan. you can tell he is interested in jenna. it was a done deal for him, right after he went to the other girl he was seeing before and was upfront with her. the rest of the time he was only about her. shes the one who decided to play games with benoit. he may have his flaws but i think he deserves better. she isnt serious about him which in a way i feel bad for him. shes going to hurt him.

    joe. nice guy but dude needs to grow a set of balls and tell that kendall girl to take a hike. way too nice. she doesnt deserve him. im not defending the leo guy as he was over the top rude but talk about the pot calling the kettle black. she got mad that he kissed someone else while she herself kissed joe afterwards and kept joe as backup and THEN kissed venmo guy. i guess whatever she was calling him out for doesnt apply to her for some reason??? also she said in an itm ” i feel like i owe it to him” really?? dude dump her. do you want to be with some chick who feels like she owes it to you to be with you?? youre popular now youll have girls lining up at your grocery store. find someone else.

    chris. sure he was a dbag at first but when he made his feelings known to krystal you could tell he was serious about her yet she decided to go and date the other dude and make out with him.

    the only couple who seemed semi decent was kevin and astrid.

    everyone else was just desperate to pair up with somebody just for the sake of pairing up. pretty sad.

    i just found it odd this time it was the women who were noncommittal and cheating on the guys they had established relationships with.

    but since realitysteve has become a feminist im guessing hell give them all a pass and only focus on the men who acted like dbags.

    I am not defending the leo dude but why is steve defending the amanda girl??. girl started it herself when she decided to take a jab at him on social media. im sorry what?? he isnt allowed to defend himself and reply back?? are women no longer able to be called out now and be put back in their place?? she went looking for it.

    i do agree with him on the part of the detrimental effect it can have on his livelihood. Are we at a point where people are no longer able to earn a living because he told a girl off on tv and because there are unproven gossip stories about him online. Even if he was playing girls back then does it mean the guy needs to be homeless living on the street and have everything hes worked for taken away???

    For people who are so caring about illegals and criminals whove done way worst come across the border and say they deserve shelter and work you sure have a different attitude about someone who called a girl out on tv. So illegals are victims and deserve everything even though probably a good percentage of them treat women worse than what weve seen with this guy but this guy deserves to lose everything, his house, his job and essentially to become homeless.

    get a clue people

  2. tinyred500

    August 29, 2018 at 10:52 AM

    I can’t say I disagree with you. SM playing its ugly part once again too I might add.

    I haven’t seen Monday or last night’s episode’s yet and I wondered what all the fuss was about with Leo. I read RS blog and I looked up the scene on YouTube, I rolled my eyes over the amount of fuss people have made of that one scene. Leo is far, far from perfect and has some issues which are pretty indefensible, but I took RS over reaction the same way you did. The reaction of RS, Amanda and Tanner, anyone could be lead to believe it was gross or terrible behaviour that was punishable by law. Amanda’s comment was way off, and this is woman who got engaged to Josh M! I noticed Ashley S adding her tuppence worth and stirring that ole pot again, sadly, not unexpected either. SMH

    People need to own their actions and that includes the women who have taken part in these shows too; the men aren’t all to blame. BIP has become a slutfest and that’s not anything the franchise should be proud of.

  3. rob22

    August 29, 2018 at 11:30 AM

    I wonder sometimes if people can distinguish between people who are boorish jerks (Leo) and someone that’s actually sexually assaulted someone (Lincoln). The reaction almost seems the same. Look, if a guy like Leo goes on a reality show and acts a fool (really in not a different way than Jordan did more than once) there’s going to be a degree of blow back. If you go on the show, you deserve what you get. But I honestly don’t see that much difference between the criticism on social media of Leo and Lincoln. Meanwhile, Jordan seems to be getting a pass. It’s not like Jordan is so likeable either. So, I really don’t get it. I guess it’s just an outrage fest on social media that’s always turned up to high, regardless of the offense.

  4. tinyred500

    August 29, 2018 at 12:16 PM

    @robb, the problem is indeed that too many on SM (and the like), cannot tell the difference from boorish idiotic behaviour and (potentially) criminal behaviour. The level of hysteria and outrage is pretty much equal for both scenarios. If it was a female who had behaved in the same manner, would there be the same outrage? I don’t think so. There lies another problem. As a female I’m appalled and offended by so many women now. 🙁

  5. katieottawa

    August 29, 2018 at 12:29 PM

    i mean he came off like a jerkoff but i dont disagree with everything he said and did. after his make out date with kendall he took some other girl aside and made out with her. wasnt the most honorable thing to do right after you had your tongue jammed in someone elses throat the whole day and i disagree with him making a big deal about kevin telling her but when kendall went to call him out i agreed with him for calling her out on doing the exact same thing she was accusing him of doing. maybe he came off a bit rude but there is such a double standard. tia called out chris last week and kept swearing at him…how is that any different??? yet people were applauding tia for not putting up with chris bs. then yes leo was out of line when he left when he called kendall out again and everyone out and called joe grocery bitch and threw water on him.

    but for the amanda girl to hope the guy got fired i think is over the top. she was worried about taking her kids so what was she insinuating here??? i think it borders on defamation to accuse someone of being dangerous or will somehow abuse her kids. These people need to tread lightly with their accusations and gossip/comments. Just because a guy is a jerk doesnt mean the guy deserves to be shunned from society and unable to earn a living and have a job. Look at garrett they made such a big deal over nothing like what he did was as serious as a crime and still now even though hes apologized people keep bringing it up like the guy doesnt deserve love or a girlfriend. These people need to get a grip on themselves.

    also benoit ecoute. partir sans dire au revoir a personne etait deplaisant. comme canadiens francais on est mieux que ca. et puis pleurer dans la voiture apres??? vraiment??? je t’avais trouve fin a winter games mais la c’etait ridicule. De courir les americaines anglophones quand tu es francophone et que tu restes a montreal est ridicule. Les filles ne feront pas de la longue distance pour un gars de montreal voyons. Il y a plein de filles a montreal pareil comme toi qui ferait l’affaire. ton stint a l’emission ne t’as pas avantage du tout

  6. rob22

    August 29, 2018 at 12:54 PM

    Haha. Love the French. I was able to translate some of it from memory of the language… hardly use it anymore, unfortunately. At one point I had to learn because I had a group with a French Cajun, a Belgian and a French Canadian that loved to speak French, although obviously their dialects were different. So, I can kinda sorta keep up.

    Bottom line though: there’s no special shame for the French Canadians. Every nationality & region is poorly represented on this show. Obviously Kevin’s crying in the car was an embarrassment to him. But I don’t think anyone thinks he’s representative of French Canadians. You’re probably right, though, that few Americans are going to relocate or do a long distance relationship to Montreal. But I’m sure Kevin, like the others, was mostly doing it for the cash and prizes, including a nice free vacation on the beach.

  7. tinyred500

    August 29, 2018 at 2:05 PM

    I most certainly wouldn’t judge any nation by the type of contestants participating in a dating reality show! 😉

    In Britain we have far worse programmes that manage to reach new levels of social and moral degradation – ‘Love Island’…is to be avoided at all cost! The type of individual’s who appear on that…are a certain ‘type’ of their own! Lol

  8. katieottawa

    August 29, 2018 at 2:07 PM

    im french canadian. although unlike him im fully bilingual. he has a hard time speaking in english. he tries but you can tell hes thinking about every word. another tidbit i heard vanessa “nicks exfiance” on a quebec radio interview in french last year and I remember the show painted her as being bilingual filming her talking to her students in french but her french was very limited and broken. she kept inserting english words when she coudlnt think of the french word and eventually just resorted to answering the rest of the questions in english by the end. you can tell she primarily speaks english. i was very surprised.

    yeah basically i said he came off much better on winter games than on here albeit a bit desperate with the whole clare engagement thing. found it rude that he just left without saying goodbye to anyone. canadians are polite. oh im sure he is doing it for the money and the recognition/fame. that was sort of my point he came off very disingenuous. just going after one girl after the other and then getting all upset. realistically no one is thinking any of these girls are going to choose him to have a long distance relationship with him. hes just too different. kevin sure, hes english its an easier transition but benoit is just too different as far as language, background goes to really fit with any contestant from this show.

    seriously it was an embarrassment. and the whole french suave thing is complete BS. most of quebec men are very verbally sexually direct and explicit and vulgar, huge players and SUPER CHEAP. Expect them to always ask for discounts or to get you to pay most of the bill, they cant help themselves.

  9. adelina

    August 30, 2018 at 11:46 AM

    Leo is a d-bag and that’s pretty much all he’s guilty of.

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