Bachelor in Paradise 5

“Bachelor in Paradise” Mini Recap, Colton is the “Bachelor,” and Grocery Joe on DWTS

Photo Credit: ABC

-Soooooo, it’s Colton. You read the “Reader Emails” all season. You knew what my guess was on this. I never thought it’d be him. I just didn’t think he was getting the edit they usually reserve for the lead, nor did I think they’d have someone on for three consecutive seasons. But once I got the solid confirmation last week it was gonna be him, I pretty much resigned myself to the fact my initial thought had been wrong. I’m not the one making the decisions, they are. Do I think he’s the best choice they could’ve made? No. Do I think there were better candidates? Absolutely. Do I think he’s ready to settle down into a relationship that possibly ends in an engagement? Not a chance. He says he is, but then again, what do you expect him to say? He can’t be named the new “Bachelor” then say, “Man, I don’t know. I don’t feel I’m really ready for this, but hey, let try it out and see.” Of course not. He’s already been coached on what to say and whether it’s believable or not is up to each individual person. Count me in as a doubter.

-With the announcement this morning (and even going back to last week when you heard me spoil it), you’ve seen the response has been very negative. That’s to be expected. One thing you won’t find me doing is bitching about who they chose, fangirling for Blake or Jason, pissing and moaning about why someone else didn’t get picked, etc. And of course, the one thing we get every season, and I mean EV-ER-Y SEASON, is fans saying they won’t watch anymore. Please. I hear it all the time every season, and yet every season, there’s the “Bachelor” winning it’s ratings time slot every Monday night. The new one this year was that there was actually a petition going around to not have him as the “Bachelor.” Seriously? A petition? Did you honestly think that a show which had zero problem televising a girl having a panic attack on TV last night was going to care about some silly petition going around about one of their decisions? Please. I just look at some of these replies on social media and just shake my head.

-I know a lot of you are pissed. I know a lot of you wanted Jason and a lot of you wanted Blake. I guess until the end of time, I will never understand that sort of rage/anger. My simple solution: get over it. Who cares? You’re still going to watch anyway, and if you say you’re not, then 1) I don’t believe you, and 2) millions of others will. So announcing on social media “I’m done with this show!” means that you’ve been watching all these years, but THIS is what set you over the edge? THIS? Colton as the “Bachelor?” THAT was your last straw? I can think of, oh I don’t know, 1,000,000 worse things this franchise has done over the years that would prevent someone from watching and they still do. If Arie didn’t send this franchise into a downward spiral, then I realized nothing will.

-Go back to last year at this time when Arie was announced. This was a guy that hadn’t been involved in the franchise in 5 years. There was ZERO buzz around him before the announcement. He wasn’t on everybody’s radar, yet, we all survived that trainwreck. At least Colton is relevant within the franchise. Say what you want about him, but he has the biggest social media following, he’s gotten a ton of airtime, and yes, there are people out there who absolutely love him. Do I get it? No. But it’s not my decision to make. This show is fine, this franchise is fine, and the naming of Colton as the “Bachelor” isn’t going to be the end of the world as some may have you believe. I say it every season: the lead doesn’t make the show, the cast does. So of course you’re going to tune in to see the drama, the cattiness, the traveling, and then ultimately the engagement at the end, because that’s what the show is about. It’s not about finding the most eligible woman for Colton to get engaged to, and if that’s what you’re watching for, you’re watching the wrong show.

-Again I think people are losing sight of the basis for the show. If you’re watching because you want to see honest people give honest reactions and watch true love come across your screen, then change the channel. This is entertainment. They don’t care about you the viewer and what your wants and needs are. They are putting out mindless television and have for over 16 years and now 37 seasons, and everyone is watching. No choice of lead is all the sudden going to kill the franchise just because you and your friends don’t like him. Especially a lead that has more of a social media following than Jason or Blake. If you’re of the older generation and you’re sick of millennials and social media and who tweets what and who has the most IG followers, unfortunately, that’s the world we live in now and it most definitely played a role in this decision. When I first heard about Colton on Becca’s season, then saw the intro video with the charity foundation helping kids with cystic fibrosis, he screamed next “Bachelor” to me. Then Becca’s season played out along with BIP and it just didn’t seem like that was the route they’d go with the edit he was getting. But here we are.

-I really do think that all the shit the franchise took this past season for casting what turned out to be a bunch of questionable guys, they went for the safe pick in Colton, a guy who screams “Middle America,” has the All-American look, morals, values, won’t find any shady scandals in his past, etc. They took a beating this last season and Colton comes in with a clean record. That no doubt played a role. He’s the closest thing to Sean Lowe as they have in this franchise from the outside and the optics of everything, and Sean is still their only “Bachelor” who married the final girl he chose. Doesn’t mean it’s gonna happen with Colton, but I see what their thinking was in all this. Doesn’t mean I agree with it, but that’s neither here nor there. Their is no “right” or “wrong” choice when it comes to the “Bachelor” since it’s completely subjective. The main thing for me is that there is another season, I’m going to spoil it again, and there’s pretty much nothing they can do.

-I know a lot of you are frustrated and bothered by this pick, and that you claim you’re done with the franchise, but a lot of people have short term memory when it comes to this franchise. I specifically remember back one year ago when the Arie announcement happened, I’m sitting in my hotel room in Las Vegas and wake up to hundreds of tweets, texts, and emails asking “Why Arie?” The venom and hatred last year was just as strong as it is right now, if not worse. But you’re in the moment right now so you think THIS is the worst choice. I get it. I know it’s hard for a lot to remember how bad it was last year, but trust me, I do. I saw it all and for some reason it was directed at me. Yet, we all lived, we all made it through another season, just like we will this season. So to everyone I saw freak out on social media and who’ve emailed me, take a deep breath, calm down, this will be the same show it is every season just with a different cast, and just enjoy it for the mindless entertainment it is. Getting worked up over Colton is not worth it and a waste of negative energy. If anything, you should be HAPPY Colton is the “Bachelor” because look at how easy it will be to make fun of!

-“But Steve, it’ll be virgin talk being shoved down our throats all season.” Really? Like there was with Sean’s season that you watched as well? Like there are repetitive storylines EVERY season that they run with and people still watch? The only thing that changes on this show is the cast. Their formula works. You don’t last 16 years and 37 seasons on network television by not knowing what you’re doing. Juan Pablo was a great choice? Jake was a great choice? Nick? Arie? How are people forgetting how much the fans despised those picks, yet now Colton will be the death knell of the franchise? It’s silly. I don’t buy it for a second. I know you might be upset, but I don’t get what telling people “I’m not going to watch!” does at all. The more people tell me they’re not going to watch, the more I’m convinced they will. Because if you hate something that much, you’ll hate watch the show. Nobody says because you watch that means you like it. I certainly don’t. I watch because it’s my job and I like to make fun of it. That’s why most of us watch. How is Colton as the lead change that in any way? Accept it, it’s now official, and lets enjoy another train wreck of a season.

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26 Comments

26 Comments

  1. coachzx

    September 4, 2018 at 8:30 AM

    I am Sad for Tia, and am not looking forward for his show. I hope Tia finds a Man that wants Love and Commitment, and I hope he is entertaining.

  2. tinyred500

    September 4, 2018 at 8:46 AM

    From the edit of Tia, it come off as she was the one manipulating Colton, and only heard what she wanted to hear. I’m no fan of his, but he was straight with her. She was only interested in him and she pursued him on BIP, and she took no notice of what others said (that she should move on and that he wasn’t interested). She needs to mature just like he does.

  3. LM111

    September 4, 2018 at 8:56 AM

    I’m all for Colton being the bachelor. Way better than the other choices in my opinion. Awesome that Grocery Store Joe is getting DWTS! Good for him. 🙂

  4. rob22

    September 4, 2018 at 9:50 AM

    I’m fine with Colton… I don’t care that much. My wife is extremely happy with the choice. So Colton wasn’t into Tia, so what? Yeah, the guy is weirdly wish-washy and overly emotional about people he’s supposedly not that into. Maybe he’ll be terrible. But the show will do its best to prepare him and give him a good edit so I think it will come across fine. He’ll be better than Nick or Arie, that’s for sure. I know that’s a low bar. I’m still expecting a Ben 2.0 season at some point. To me, this is as close to that as you can get. For better or for worse.

    For all the haters, I really don’t understand. I do understand that you’d prefer someone else. That’s totally fine. But unlike Nick and Arie, Colton’s done nothing illegal, immoral or unethical. You just have a different preference. So, keep that in mind. It’s not like they just cast someone sleezy like Jef Holm as the next Bachelor. It’s not that at all.

  5. tinyred500

    September 4, 2018 at 10:16 AM

    @rob, The show is too shallow to care that much! Lol People’s reaction of intense dislike or like….. I never read too much emotion into people’s written words, the written word lacks nuance that that the spoken word has masses of. Colton is better than Arie and in a sense Nick. Agree, they could do an awful lot worse, but they could’ve chosen someone with a bit more personality shown so far at least. I know RS always says, show him a previous male contestant that did show personality (that then went onto to get the bachelor lead)….because they never showed it during the bachelorette. I can see why Colton was chosen if you take into account the last past 2 leads and their past history.

  6. rob22

    September 4, 2018 at 12:08 PM

    @tinyred: agree. It’s more on Twitter that you see the people going nuts, not so much on here. It’s fine to have an opinion and switch it off if you don’t like it. Really, it’s the outrage. If you read RS’s Twitter feed there’s a lot of crazy going on there. I think people are crazy for putting themselves out there for the lead. The cash and prizes aren’t so great that it makes it worth it. If you’re a well known actor or sports star, you may experience the haters too…. but at least the cash and prizes allow you to live in an exclusive community where you can be left alone. You can also take trips to places where nobody knows you & even get off of social media if it still bothers you. Bachelor leads? not so much

  7. elizabeth82

    September 4, 2018 at 12:24 PM

    So my take is yeah I like to make fun of the show but I also have to sort of like the lead at least in order to watch. Ben Flajnik ended up being terrible, but I liked him from The Bachelorette so I watched. Arie was way worse on his own season as well than he was on The Bachelorette. The thing about Colton is, I already dislike him. And I’m annoyed at all the women that think he’s sooo hot that partially led to him getting this gig. Basically, he’s fake, and that’s kinda complicated because it’s a combination of him not being comfortable with his sexuality AND being fame hungry, from what I can tell. As a result, he played both Becca and Tia, so how’s he gonna be any different as The Bachelor?

    Also to Reality Steve: I def don’t think this is the death knell of the franchise. I just know I’ve stuck to not watching dudes’ seasons that I don’t like, and that’s likely what’s gonna happen with this one. Which is too bad, ’cause I usually like to watch the show. I could probably ditch cable if it weren’t for the fun of live tweeting shows like this, ha.

  8. Del Scorcho

    September 4, 2018 at 12:36 PM

    How long are we going to pretend that Colton likes women

  9. trainwrecktv

    September 4, 2018 at 1:14 PM

    The proposal was definitely a yawner (I spent the whole time focusing on her trying to walk in stillettos on the beach SMH) but I was surprised they didn’t edit out Kevin all but saying he slept with Ashley. The repeated, “I am a SIGNIFICANT part of her dating history.” comments seemed pretty clear.

  10. megs

    September 4, 2018 at 1:14 PM

    I’m not mad that Colton is the bachelor! I think it’ll be a really interesting season, tbh…. he isn’t afraid to be emotional, and has more personality in his pinkie finger than Arie did all season. I disagree with all the people who think he wasn’t taking things seriously because he’s always smiling or laughing… I think it was entirely his discomfort in the situation. Lots of people laugh when they are nervous or uncomfortable.

    Either way, lets be real, no lead will ever be the end of this show. People will always watch.

  11. nhassell2015

    September 4, 2018 at 1:23 PM

    I’m excited to see Colton as the next bachelor… I think it’s gonna be an awesome season. I’m extremely curious to see what happens at the overnight dates…

  12. ctrealitygirl

    September 4, 2018 at 1:47 PM

    I’m with tinyred500. I just think Colton is too vanilla..basically has no personality and waffles on decisions all the time. What the hell is he going to do with 25 women? Jason had so much personality and was just plain hot! Colton is good looking but NOT hot! And, sorry RS, he is NOT Sean.2. I wish the producers would pick someone their audience prefers. Very disappointed…looks like another ho-hum season.

  13. nursej

    September 4, 2018 at 2:21 PM

    Tia’s “you just really need to focus on really figuring yourself out so you can fully give yourself to someone” (sexual orientation aside) – he clearly wasn’t into her and the entire dynamic seemed forced, despite him being upfront. It’s not on him IMO. He was trying to figure things out – their story line hijacked any ounce of opportunity.

  14. adelina

    September 4, 2018 at 2:22 PM

    I agree that Colton is too Vanilla. He embodies that term.

    I also agree that he probs prefers Men.

    For some reason I felt nothing for Ashley and Jared’s engagement. I am usually a total sap when it comes to these couples, but the two of them do not seem genuine to me. Something is off. Ashley walking through the sand in heels was extremely odd. As if she knew she needed to be camera ready for the proposal. Something about the two of them is manufactured.

  15. jfranzet

    September 4, 2018 at 2:34 PM

    Umm, you realize this show is on ABC, a free channel that you can receive OTA . You can still ditch cable and watch the Bachelor, just saying … #cutthecord

  16. elizabeth82

    September 4, 2018 at 4:31 PM

    @jfranzet, yeah you’re right, bad example. It’s not the only show I like to watch in real time though, and others are on channels that aren’t free. Cable is super ridiculously expensive, though!

    @adelina, I want to feel happy for Ashley and Jared, but I think Jared just wants to stay relevant.

    Did anyone read the People mag article about Colton today? He said he was “really happy with myself,” and that he can’t stop smiling about getting the Bach gig. Since that was his plan all along, I believe.

  17. pdxkg

    September 4, 2018 at 7:44 PM

    Hey Steve, While Chelsea was having her panic attack there was a male producer, with curly dark hair consoling her. Bottom left of the screen and he was very visible.

  18. LynnMJ

    September 4, 2018 at 9:13 PM

    Right? How about a “never happened before” ending? Bachelor ends up coming out of the closet?

  19. tinyred500

    September 5, 2018 at 12:29 AM

    He gets a label of being gay because he doesn’t conform to what so others see as acceptable behaviour? Just because he’s a virgin and just because he’s immature and doesn’t know what he wants, doesn’t make a person gay.

  20. pugmom

    September 5, 2018 at 7:56 AM

    I agree that Colton just isn’t interesting. I really like the lead to be a person whose really fun and goofy who can also be serious. I don’t find Colton attractive at all. I will give him a chance because maybe the edit just doesn’t show more interesting sides to him.
    I may also add that people on Twitter take it too far. They’re being pretty mean about Colton getting picked.
    However I will add for anyone thinking Tia was manipulative, yes I can see that with the first two episodes where she told him he isn’t getting the rose from anyone except her, BUT while Tia was on the Bachelor Colton made some very public tweets about how attractive she was. He also mentioned he was on BIP only for her.
    I think Colton got Tia’s hopes up about being really into her (probably stuff being said in private away from cameras) and then in front of cameras acted like he just wasn’t into her. I feel like that could explain her desperate and confused behavior.

  21. trainwrecktv

    September 5, 2018 at 8:01 AM

    I dunno, but someone who is his age and is a virgin because he has never met a female who made him feel like he was ready, says he is tired of not being true to himself to make others happy, and him consistently looking super uncomfortable…doesn’t seem like a big jump to wonder if part of him figuring out what he wants could involve figuring out/admitting he isn’t into women at all. If the NFL is a hard place to be a virgin, I certainly can’t imagine it is an easy place to figure out one’s sexuality. Even if he is completely straight, his edits have made him look like he doesn’t have a clue what he wants which is a strange set-up for a bachelor.

  22. Del Scorcho

    September 5, 2018 at 12:59 PM

    Thinking he’s gay has nothing to do with his virginity.

  23. adelina

    September 5, 2018 at 7:13 PM

    If a good looking athletic guy is a virgin in his late 20’s and hasn’t made this choice for religious reasons, then it is perfectly reasonable for someone to wonder if he’s possibly gay. Doesn’t mean he is but it certainly brings up the possibility.

  24. alynn89

    September 6, 2018 at 3:05 AM

    I also got gay vibes from Colton, but I thought I was the only one. I also do not think he seems sincere, but more out for fame. As much as I wish it wad Blake or Jason, I have to admit Ill probably still watch. I also dont think the “panic attack” from chelsea seemed real. I have had panic attacks and feel for her if it was real, but it didn’t more like just heavy breathing from crying. Also, I hate that she thought it was a good idea to try to steal Kamil from Annaelise. Not a good friend to say the least. Do you know if her and nick together? It doesn’t seem like Chelsea makes wise decisions in general. Although she can come across as likeable and innocent.

  25. supersparklyday

    September 7, 2018 at 1:39 PM

    I too an NOT happy with Colton as next Bachelor. He’s boring and they’ll have to manufacture alot of drama for his season. I won’t watch most of it, but will probably catch the last 3 episodes to find out who could be next Bachelorette.

    I also must disagree with the posters who think Colton might be gay. I think their Gaydars are broken and need servicing.

    It’ll be a whole lot of Colton on my tv in 1 year and I’m sick of him already.

  26. tina23

    September 19, 2018 at 9:39 PM

    Will Colton advise them that the contestants should be male and female? I think he’s most likely gay and confused about his sexuality. Not just because he’s a virgin, but he talked about pleasing everyone else, doing what people expect him to do (football). Meanwhile he is hiding behind an athletic “ladies man”. I think him and Robby Hayes would be good together.

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