Bachelor in Paradise 5

“Bachelor in Paradise” Mini Recap, Colton is the “Bachelor,” and Grocery Joe on DWTS

Photo Credit: ABC

-So not a ton to talk about from last night’s show, even though it was 3 hrs long. Do we know the point of that yet? Why was last night drawn out longer than any BIP episode ever? If they were coming back with 1 hr tonight, then it’d make sense filling their 4 hrs of programming a week. But tonight is another 2 hr episode, so, that becomes moot. It was all a bit much especially considering there wasn’t a hell of a lot going on. A lot of other relationships did get airtime, which I guess is good, but it’s not like it was particularly interesting. The Colton/Tia thing you knew was ending, but that was over within the first 30 minutes of the episode. But overall, I honestly think the biggest thing that happened was at the end of the episode with Chelsea. People are losing their freaking minds because Colton is the “Bachelor” yet does anyone have a problem with airing a woman having a panic attack on national television and doing nothing to help her?

-You do realize what we watched last night, right? Here was a woman having a full blown panic attack on TV and they did nothing. No one consoled her, no one stopped filming, no one did anything. Well, they did one thing. They kept the cameras rolling. Classy. But yet, Colton is the worst thing this franchise has ever done and people won’t be watching come January? I think people should probably look elsewhere to find the faults in this show. I was kind of in amazement watching that. Not only did they air Chelsea having a panic attack, but they’ve been promoting it all season. And you wonder why I tell people who ask for my advice what I think about this show. You really feel safe watching that? That’s the “family” you want to be a part of. People who will exploit you for their own personal gain? Have at it. But don’t then bitch afterwards when there’s examples time and time and time again about how they treat their contestants.

-The Eric/Angela/Cassandra thing was probably the most interesting triangle to me and mostly because of Cassandra and Eric’s conversation. We’ve seen people get called out on this show before, but the way Cassandra handled it was kinda unlike anything we’ve seen. It was like she was sitting there mocking and making fun of Eric for how he handled Angela, but she wasn’t screaming at him, going off on him, bawling her eyes out. She basically called him out on the floor and I loved that because, well, everything she said was true. Eric handled Angela poorly is the understatement of the year. Yes, he said he was all in and didn’t want to go on dates with anyone else, but then the next morning he woke up and said he felt different? And yes, he told Angela that before he went on the date with Cassandra, but that doesn’t mean it still wasn’t messed up. Of course Angela is confused. Who wouldn’t be? And then to tell her she wasn’t all in like he was? What kind of manipulating is that? Not a good night for Eric to say the least.

-I think the arrival of Scallops (fresh off getting dumped at the altar on the “Proposal”) was probably the best thing to happen to Wells all season. It’s like the guy has waited all season to have any relevance to this season, and once Scallops arrived, he was like a pig in slop knowing he could bust out his accent again and tell the story of Scallops. So Wells actually got paid for this season? Really? Talk about stealing money. Last season, it seemed like Wells had more ITM’s than most of the contestants, if not THE most. This season? He couldn’t be more of a background player if he tried. My guess is he doesn’t do it next season unless he works it into his contract he actually gets more air time. Because this season has been a waste in terms of utilizing him. But hey, he got to break out his Scallops accent, so there’s that.

-Oh yeah, how could I forget? Ashley and Jared got engaged too. Yawn.

-Annaliese is a disaster. Maybe because I’m not in my mid-20’s anymore, but I don’t know how she can sit and watch that last night (or this whole season for that matter) and think that she’s coming off good. You literally met Kamil two days ago in real time. The way she talks about him and their future together is, I’m sorry, a little crazy. I get the emotions behind it. A lot of factors – drinking, manipulation, the bubble – but she’s still saying the things she is about a guy she barely knows, and now that we know how that all plays out with her getting dumped at the taping, we can now watch this and say, “See, we told you so.” I mean, was there ANYTHING about Kamil when you watch this show that makes you think he’s a good, stand up guy that was 100% in on Annaliese? I sure didn’t see it. But maybe I’m blind. His actions prove otherwise.

So two more hours tonight, then it all comes to an end next week. Two hours Monday, and two hours Tuesday. Thank God.

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  1. coachzx

    September 4, 2018 at 8:30 AM

    I am Sad for Tia, and am not looking forward for his show. I hope Tia finds a Man that wants Love and Commitment, and I hope he is entertaining.

  2. tinyred500

    September 4, 2018 at 8:46 AM

    From the edit of Tia, it come off as she was the one manipulating Colton, and only heard what she wanted to hear. I’m no fan of his, but he was straight with her. She was only interested in him and she pursued him on BIP, and she took no notice of what others said (that she should move on and that he wasn’t interested). She needs to mature just like he does.

  3. LM111

    September 4, 2018 at 8:56 AM

    I’m all for Colton being the bachelor. Way better than the other choices in my opinion. Awesome that Grocery Store Joe is getting DWTS! Good for him. 🙂

  4. rob22

    September 4, 2018 at 9:50 AM

    I’m fine with Colton… I don’t care that much. My wife is extremely happy with the choice. So Colton wasn’t into Tia, so what? Yeah, the guy is weirdly wish-washy and overly emotional about people he’s supposedly not that into. Maybe he’ll be terrible. But the show will do its best to prepare him and give him a good edit so I think it will come across fine. He’ll be better than Nick or Arie, that’s for sure. I know that’s a low bar. I’m still expecting a Ben 2.0 season at some point. To me, this is as close to that as you can get. For better or for worse.

    For all the haters, I really don’t understand. I do understand that you’d prefer someone else. That’s totally fine. But unlike Nick and Arie, Colton’s done nothing illegal, immoral or unethical. You just have a different preference. So, keep that in mind. It’s not like they just cast someone sleezy like Jef Holm as the next Bachelor. It’s not that at all.

  5. tinyred500

    September 4, 2018 at 10:16 AM

    @rob, The show is too shallow to care that much! Lol People’s reaction of intense dislike or like….. I never read too much emotion into people’s written words, the written word lacks nuance that that the spoken word has masses of. Colton is better than Arie and in a sense Nick. Agree, they could do an awful lot worse, but they could’ve chosen someone with a bit more personality shown so far at least. I know RS always says, show him a previous male contestant that did show personality (that then went onto to get the bachelor lead)….because they never showed it during the bachelorette. I can see why Colton was chosen if you take into account the last past 2 leads and their past history.

  6. rob22

    September 4, 2018 at 12:08 PM

    @tinyred: agree. It’s more on Twitter that you see the people going nuts, not so much on here. It’s fine to have an opinion and switch it off if you don’t like it. Really, it’s the outrage. If you read RS’s Twitter feed there’s a lot of crazy going on there. I think people are crazy for putting themselves out there for the lead. The cash and prizes aren’t so great that it makes it worth it. If you’re a well known actor or sports star, you may experience the haters too…. but at least the cash and prizes allow you to live in an exclusive community where you can be left alone. You can also take trips to places where nobody knows you & even get off of social media if it still bothers you. Bachelor leads? not so much

  7. elizabeth82

    September 4, 2018 at 12:24 PM

    So my take is yeah I like to make fun of the show but I also have to sort of like the lead at least in order to watch. Ben Flajnik ended up being terrible, but I liked him from The Bachelorette so I watched. Arie was way worse on his own season as well than he was on The Bachelorette. The thing about Colton is, I already dislike him. And I’m annoyed at all the women that think he’s sooo hot that partially led to him getting this gig. Basically, he’s fake, and that’s kinda complicated because it’s a combination of him not being comfortable with his sexuality AND being fame hungry, from what I can tell. As a result, he played both Becca and Tia, so how’s he gonna be any different as The Bachelor?

    Also to Reality Steve: I def don’t think this is the death knell of the franchise. I just know I’ve stuck to not watching dudes’ seasons that I don’t like, and that’s likely what’s gonna happen with this one. Which is too bad, ’cause I usually like to watch the show. I could probably ditch cable if it weren’t for the fun of live tweeting shows like this, ha.

  8. Del Scorcho

    September 4, 2018 at 12:36 PM

    How long are we going to pretend that Colton likes women

  9. trainwrecktv

    September 4, 2018 at 1:14 PM

    The proposal was definitely a yawner (I spent the whole time focusing on her trying to walk in stillettos on the beach SMH) but I was surprised they didn’t edit out Kevin all but saying he slept with Ashley. The repeated, “I am a SIGNIFICANT part of her dating history.” comments seemed pretty clear.

  10. megs

    September 4, 2018 at 1:14 PM

    I’m not mad that Colton is the bachelor! I think it’ll be a really interesting season, tbh…. he isn’t afraid to be emotional, and has more personality in his pinkie finger than Arie did all season. I disagree with all the people who think he wasn’t taking things seriously because he’s always smiling or laughing… I think it was entirely his discomfort in the situation. Lots of people laugh when they are nervous or uncomfortable.

    Either way, lets be real, no lead will ever be the end of this show. People will always watch.

  11. nhassell2015

    September 4, 2018 at 1:23 PM

    I’m excited to see Colton as the next bachelor… I think it’s gonna be an awesome season. I’m extremely curious to see what happens at the overnight dates…

  12. ctrealitygirl

    September 4, 2018 at 1:47 PM

    I’m with tinyred500. I just think Colton is too vanilla..basically has no personality and waffles on decisions all the time. What the hell is he going to do with 25 women? Jason had so much personality and was just plain hot! Colton is good looking but NOT hot! And, sorry RS, he is NOT Sean.2. I wish the producers would pick someone their audience prefers. Very disappointed…looks like another ho-hum season.

  13. nursej

    September 4, 2018 at 2:21 PM

    Tia’s “you just really need to focus on really figuring yourself out so you can fully give yourself to someone” (sexual orientation aside) – he clearly wasn’t into her and the entire dynamic seemed forced, despite him being upfront. It’s not on him IMO. He was trying to figure things out – their story line hijacked any ounce of opportunity.

  14. adelina

    September 4, 2018 at 2:22 PM

    I agree that Colton is too Vanilla. He embodies that term.

    I also agree that he probs prefers Men.

    For some reason I felt nothing for Ashley and Jared’s engagement. I am usually a total sap when it comes to these couples, but the two of them do not seem genuine to me. Something is off. Ashley walking through the sand in heels was extremely odd. As if she knew she needed to be camera ready for the proposal. Something about the two of them is manufactured.

  15. jfranzet

    September 4, 2018 at 2:34 PM

    Umm, you realize this show is on ABC, a free channel that you can receive OTA . You can still ditch cable and watch the Bachelor, just saying … #cutthecord

  16. elizabeth82

    September 4, 2018 at 4:31 PM

    @jfranzet, yeah you’re right, bad example. It’s not the only show I like to watch in real time though, and others are on channels that aren’t free. Cable is super ridiculously expensive, though!

    @adelina, I want to feel happy for Ashley and Jared, but I think Jared just wants to stay relevant.

    Did anyone read the People mag article about Colton today? He said he was “really happy with myself,” and that he can’t stop smiling about getting the Bach gig. Since that was his plan all along, I believe.

  17. pdxkg

    September 4, 2018 at 7:44 PM

    Hey Steve, While Chelsea was having her panic attack there was a male producer, with curly dark hair consoling her. Bottom left of the screen and he was very visible.

  18. LynnMJ

    September 4, 2018 at 9:13 PM

    Right? How about a “never happened before” ending? Bachelor ends up coming out of the closet?

  19. tinyred500

    September 5, 2018 at 12:29 AM

    He gets a label of being gay because he doesn’t conform to what so others see as acceptable behaviour? Just because he’s a virgin and just because he’s immature and doesn’t know what he wants, doesn’t make a person gay.

  20. pugmom

    September 5, 2018 at 7:56 AM

    I agree that Colton just isn’t interesting. I really like the lead to be a person whose really fun and goofy who can also be serious. I don’t find Colton attractive at all. I will give him a chance because maybe the edit just doesn’t show more interesting sides to him.
    I may also add that people on Twitter take it too far. They’re being pretty mean about Colton getting picked.
    However I will add for anyone thinking Tia was manipulative, yes I can see that with the first two episodes where she told him he isn’t getting the rose from anyone except her, BUT while Tia was on the Bachelor Colton made some very public tweets about how attractive she was. He also mentioned he was on BIP only for her.
    I think Colton got Tia’s hopes up about being really into her (probably stuff being said in private away from cameras) and then in front of cameras acted like he just wasn’t into her. I feel like that could explain her desperate and confused behavior.

  21. trainwrecktv

    September 5, 2018 at 8:01 AM

    I dunno, but someone who is his age and is a virgin because he has never met a female who made him feel like he was ready, says he is tired of not being true to himself to make others happy, and him consistently looking super uncomfortable…doesn’t seem like a big jump to wonder if part of him figuring out what he wants could involve figuring out/admitting he isn’t into women at all. If the NFL is a hard place to be a virgin, I certainly can’t imagine it is an easy place to figure out one’s sexuality. Even if he is completely straight, his edits have made him look like he doesn’t have a clue what he wants which is a strange set-up for a bachelor.

  22. Del Scorcho

    September 5, 2018 at 12:59 PM

    Thinking he’s gay has nothing to do with his virginity.

  23. adelina

    September 5, 2018 at 7:13 PM

    If a good looking athletic guy is a virgin in his late 20’s and hasn’t made this choice for religious reasons, then it is perfectly reasonable for someone to wonder if he’s possibly gay. Doesn’t mean he is but it certainly brings up the possibility.

  24. alynn89

    September 6, 2018 at 3:05 AM

    I also got gay vibes from Colton, but I thought I was the only one. I also do not think he seems sincere, but more out for fame. As much as I wish it wad Blake or Jason, I have to admit Ill probably still watch. I also dont think the “panic attack” from chelsea seemed real. I have had panic attacks and feel for her if it was real, but it didn’t more like just heavy breathing from crying. Also, I hate that she thought it was a good idea to try to steal Kamil from Annaelise. Not a good friend to say the least. Do you know if her and nick together? It doesn’t seem like Chelsea makes wise decisions in general. Although she can come across as likeable and innocent.

  25. supersparklyday

    September 7, 2018 at 1:39 PM

    I too an NOT happy with Colton as next Bachelor. He’s boring and they’ll have to manufacture alot of drama for his season. I won’t watch most of it, but will probably catch the last 3 episodes to find out who could be next Bachelorette.

    I also must disagree with the posters who think Colton might be gay. I think their Gaydars are broken and need servicing.

    It’ll be a whole lot of Colton on my tv in 1 year and I’m sick of him already.

  26. tina23

    September 19, 2018 at 9:39 PM

    Will Colton advise them that the contestants should be male and female? I think he’s most likely gay and confused about his sexuality. Not just because he’s a virgin, but he talked about pleasing everyone else, doing what people expect him to do (football). Meanwhile he is hiding behind an athletic “ladies man”. I think him and Robby Hayes would be good together.

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