Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 5

The Final “Reader Emails” of the Calendar Year

Photo Credit: ABC

After loyally watching every episode of every show associated with this franchise since Jake Pavelka’s season, I maybe watched a few hours total of Becca’s season and about half an hour of BIP.

Becca and her top four were deeply boring. I can’t imagine trying to hold a conversation with any of them. The only person I found remotely compelling on Paradise was Grocery Joe. Colton seems like a kid.

I enjoyed Rachel’s season of the Bachelorette. Her story and personality are interesting and made good television (not only the first African-American lead, but also someone with more ambition than being an instagram “influencer”). Unless ABC finds a way to make it as interesting as Rachel again, I just can’t see myself coming back to the show with the loyalty I once had.

I have some suggestions for ABC: pick some women with very unusual backstories (a mennonite? an ex-cult member? someone who lives on a fishing boat?) and/or really cool careers (NASA scientist? novelist?). We need some better characters. This silliness is losing its luster fast….

Comment: That’ll probably never happen. And based on the contestants I have so far – it’s more of the same we see every season.

Hey Steve,

I guess you aren’t short of emails after yesterday’s announcement. I am quite disgusted with the way this was choreographed this year. They didn’t even TRY to hide the setup this time! I don’t think Colton is the best choice and I do think it was not even close to reality but yes I will watch because I always do. I guess ABC got exactly what they were going for with all the publicity from picking Colton. I now equate the franchise to wrestling…we know it isn’t real but watch anyway just for entertainment. My question to you is, do you think the producers were talking to Colton during BIP and caused the whole event with their offer to make Colton the bachelor?

Thanks for being the sanity

Comment: I think Colton knew exactly what he was doing and how he handled the Tia relationship as delicately as he did. I can’t prove any conversations happened between him and producers and maybe them putting it in his ear, but I’d be naïve to completely rule it out. Anyone would be.

Hey Steve!

Hope your Vegas vacation goes well and Luka manages okay. My dog has bad separation anxiety as well, and I’ve found that sometimes Xanax can help. It won’t knock her out but it helps take the edge off to allow her to relax. My vet prescribed it for her and she takes it when I know she’ll have a significant trouble, like when I take her to be groomed or we’re traveling.

I want to preface this by saying that I agree Colton isn’t a great guy and that you’re right on his treatment of Tia. He jerked her around quite a bit and never should have done Bachelorette with Becca. It’s obvious he was hoping to either be engaged to Tia (if she was Bachelorette) or become the Bachelor. That being said, I think he’s a good pick from a tv standpoint. His virginity will be a storyline, especially heading into fantasy suites, and I’d guess at least one girl will make it her mission to have sex with him or at least be highly provocative like Corrine was. He doesn’t seem overly emotional like Blake, but he won’t be completely removed and trying to produce the show like Nick. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s attractive and “played” football, which feeds into his heartland appeal. I think he probably was the best option for the show, especially after Arie. And realistically, the guys from Becca’s season were duds. Most of them are very unlikable, and quite a few raise serious red flags. Who were they gonna choose? Back-up boybander Chris the Goose? Colton will get people talking and they’ll tune in next season, and that’s all producers care about. Maybe next time they’ll have better guys to choose from.

Thanks for letting me talk and good luck with your drafting!

Comment: Who were they gonna choose? Well, I mean America will have you believe Blake and Jason were way better choices. That’s who it was down to. What you said makes perfect sense. And honestly, what did we really know about Jason? Nothing jumped out to me about him the more I thought about it. Colton has a way better storyline than Jason. And I never saw Blake as a lead.

is Ben H still dating Leslie? I have not seen pix of them together.

Comment: Lesley Murphy? He was dating her? That’s news to me.


LOVE the website and the podcast! Your spoliers are the reason I started watching The Bachelor again.

My question is silly, really. I think Kevin’s voice sounds like Napoleon from Napoleon Dynamite. Am I the only one?

I mean no offense by this because I love that movie!

Keep up the good work!

Comment: No, you’re not. Plenty of people think he sounds like him. And they wouldn’t be wrong.

I know it doesn’t matter but for the person who asked

Ashley heels were always on they just sunk into the sand and looked like flats – who wears stilettos on the beach lol

Comment: Well there you go.

Hi Steve,

I’m semi-new to the Bachelor world and I had a few questions/thoughts I wanted to get your opinion on. (Sorry for the abundance of questions)

A majority of my friends and I were raised catholic, and most of us have attended some form of catholic school. When all this info has come out about Colton, we made a joke that is ABC trying to take the show in a direction? Saying that only Bachelors like Sean Lowe will work? Also, do you think they will start showing some of the non-romantic conversations between contestants like talking about religion, or politics? Remains to be seen, but in 36 seasons, they’ve yet to do it. I doubt it’ll change.

We also were wondering, depending on how Colton’s season goes do you think ABC would consider doing spin-offs of the Bachelor/Bachelorette? For example, a specific religious affiliation, a gay bachelor, or perhaps an all-asian cast? With movies and shows focusing on casting more diverse casts, this could be an interesting idea…No. I don’t see that happening.

A few other questions I had, are; how can the show get away from only casting people who are Real Estate agents, or Social Media influencers? Do you think that people who have more laborious, or time consuming jobs just can’t afford to leave their jobs for a given amount of time? How come all of the girls that are popular on this show always look the same? They all do their hair the same, have a slender body, and dress similarly. In a world where body image is talked about so often- do you think the show will start casting people who don’t look like every instagram girl you see? And finally, do you think ABC will ever have a season where viewers actually vote and pick the Bachelor/Bachelorette?

Comment: No. This show will always cast young and women that are size 0’s, 2’s, and 4’s. I mean, they’ve done it for 22 seasons, why would they change now?

No. The audience will never pick the “Bachelor” or “Bachelorette.” This show is about control. They’d never give that up.

1.) OMG, I swear I had that exact same pair of overall shorts that Astrid was wearing when I was 6 years old. WTH So Astrid shops at Babies-R-Us?

2.) Annaliese just seems like she just wants to be with someone, ANYONE. She’s coming across as being soo desperate, I almost feel embarrassed for her. You aren’t the only one.

3.) Question….do Jade and Tanner have actual jobs? Or do they just make their money off of endorsements? I swear they are advertising something new every day on FB. Their house looks soo huge and nice! I want IN on those kind of endorsements. Tanner has a full time job. He works in the automotive industry.

4.) Question….What do all of these people do for jobs after being on the shows? Do they just go back to their old jobs before being cast on the bachelor shows, or do they just fall into the endorsements and do that full time?

Comment: All depends on the person.

Hi Steve,

When do they film BIP intros? Is it at the end of paradise or throughout the show? Just wondering how they get those group shots of everyone together being friendly. I figured it couldn’t be at the beginning or else it would spoil who all was there from the get-go. Thanks!

Comment: The individual ones? When each person arrives.


You said in a comment that people leaving BIP go to the hotel waiting for their flight later that night or the next day. Are they not waiting until the end of the
season to film those scenes from the beginning of each episode with all contestants together on the beach, running around, etc. ?

If it is before filming the season there should not be any surprise when a certain contestants appear.

Comment: The group shot of the contestants on the beach and the women hitting each other with pillows, if you look closely, that’s just original cast. No one that wasn’t there from the beginning is in those shots.

Hi Steve! Two quick questions.

1. I listened to your podcast with Taylor Nolan (which was great), and you said it was one of your most favorite podcasts you had recorded. Can you name a few more that are your favorites? I have a lot. There are too many to name.

2. Just curious if you’ve ever heard of Bachelor contestants dropping out once they found out who had been casted as the Bachelor? For example if someone auditioned for the show because they thought Jason would be the lead, learned it was Colton, and then decided to not go on. Not specific to this season though.


Comment: No, but I’m sure they have. Just not many.

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  1. katieottawa

    September 12, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    this is what i wrote a couple of weeks ago.

    personally i found the men to be much more serious, loyal and genuine to the women they were interested in than the women who seemed to care more about the attention of multiple men on them and playing games.

    jordan. you can tell he is interested in jenna. it was a done deal for him, right after he went to the other girl he was seeing before and was upfront with her. the rest of the time he was only about her. shes the one who decided to play games with benoit. he may have his flaws but i think he deserves better. she isnt serious about him which in a way i feel bad for him. shes going to hurt him.

    i saw this coming a mile away. poor guy.

  2. klo823

    September 12, 2018 at 9:46 AM

    I don’t buy what Jordan is selling. His feelings right off the bat for Jenna on Paradise seemed a little too strong and contrived. I believe the texts are real, but I think Jenna & Jordan were in on this together for publicity and notoriety in the franchise.

    Another theory is maybe Jordan thought they were going to ride it out until a publicized abc wedding and then break up after. He might’ve been blindsided in that respect…just a thought. I know his Mom had said she had to console Jordan crying on her lap or whatever, but she could easily have been in on it too to help promote her son’s narrative.

  3. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 11:30 AM

    I’m not a big fan of Jordan’s, but I don’t think for a second he was in on this. Jenna is a manipulator and user, plain and simple. It was obvious that while jealous and insecure, he was also big time into to Jenna. He didn’t even look at anyone else one he saw her. No, I think he is legit and was used by a master manipulator.

  4. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 12:12 PM

    I’m not a fan of Jordan & I have already commented that I see this as a form of karma for the way he’s been treating other people in both shows. Not so much David, because I think David enjoyed tweaking Jordan & drawing a reaction, but more like the explosions he had where he was abusive and profane with women. That’s not OK.

    I had considered Jordan’s “love at first sight” reaction to Jenna initially as possibly a gay man trying to react like they think a straight man might react…. kind of like Tom Cruise’s couch jumping a few years back. If you know what I’m talking about there. His response to Jenna was WAY over the top. What straight guy acts like that?? But I did warm up mostly to the idea that he was really into Jenna… though I’m not completely off the idea of him being gay & trying to act straight.

    Anyway, I’m still ultimately blown away by Jenna’s actions. Not only was she a duplicitous cheater, she was actually planning on leaving Jordan with a big black eye by making up some story about him on the way out the door. Who does that? What a terrible person she is. Her actions are way beyond the typical cheating that we’ve come to expect. She is a very mean spirited person. It shows you what some people are capable of.

  5. littlelil

    September 12, 2018 at 12:37 PM

    Surprised nothing was mentioned in today’s post about Amanda’s arrest or Bekah’s pregnancy.

  6. leighk

    September 12, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    As far as people dropping out when they find out who The Bachelor/ette will be, it’s probably not too many people, but I did. Of course, this was quite a while ago (Lorenzo’s season). After casting called to give me his info to check him out, I called to drop out. The reason I say it’s probably not too many people is because the casting agent pushed very hard for me to continue the process. She even suggested I stay “just to see where it takes you.” It was 3 phone calls before she realized I wasn’t giving in. The next season they called but I was in a “real relationship.” That year (I don’t remember who The Bachelor was), they even asked how serious my relationship was, lol. Based on my experience, anyone who they were interested in casting accepted whether for the “right reasons” or exposure.

  7. pugmom

    September 12, 2018 at 3:41 PM

    Okay I was one of the ones who didn’t believe it was real at first but now I do. I feel really bad for Jordan. He seemed really into her and he was very loyal. It’s hard to think it was a fake relationship for him because he was very bad at faking attraction to Becca during her season. I gotta give RS props because he really didn’t like Jordan so much throughout the show yet when he found this information he even reached out to Jordan to confirm that it was really the way she writes. I really admire that! Also… Leighk that’s really interesting that casting reached out to you to let you know who the Bachelor was. I wonder if they still do that??

  8. corn29

    September 12, 2018 at 3:45 PM

    2 wrongs don’t make a right but I’m actually okay with this. Jordan is a world class jerk. The way he spoke to Benoit last night was deplorable. He treats people horribly. This is just karma for him.

    Happy to see Jordan get his comeuppance! Well earned and deserved!

  9. screenname

    September 12, 2018 at 4:04 PM

    I honestly don’t get why people follow anyone from the Bachelor franchise. I tried following a couple of accounts on IG, and It’s like literally watching commercials. These people don’t actually choose to use the product, the product chooses them and they just use it because hey, it’s free.
    And they all promote the same exact thing!
    There are famous actors with fewer followers than some of these contestants.
    Maybe when people stop blindly following bachelor/bachelorette accounts they might change what the typical cast member looks like and get some more interesting contestants with some substance.

  10. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:15 PM

    Why did Amanda get arrested?

    As for Jordan being gray, really? This is not 1988. People don’t have to be in the closet anymore, unless they’re a Scientologist. He is a model and metro Male. My gaydar never went off with him. I do agree he ducked at faking he liked Becca. However, he didn’t take liking Jenna, he was crazy about her.

  11. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:17 PM

    Jeez, Gay not gray.

  12. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:19 PM

    I hate autocorrect

  13. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    okay, turned off autocorrect. He sucked at faking he liked Becca, but I don’t think he faked liking Jenna.

  14. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 4:59 PM

    True, being out is way easier these days. But if he was out, he wouldn’t have been a Bachelorette or BIP contestant. So there is incentive to fake it to be on the show. And I get the Metrosexual thing. I wasn’t reacting to his grooming, I was reacting to how he acted around Jenna. Gay people acting straight might overcompensate, like Tom Cruise did. I mostly think he’s not gay. But I’m just not ready to dismiss it completely.

  15. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 5:04 PM

    I am largely in agreement. Jordan has no filter. So there isn’t much to read about him. He puts whatever is on his mind out there. That’s why he can be a world class jerk one minute and a decent guy the next minute. He’s ruled by his emotions.

  16. corn29

    September 12, 2018 at 6:34 PM

    No such thing as metro… just a made up, contrived, contemporary label for someone who still hasn’t come out yet — even though it’s 2018. NTTIAWWT.

  17. littlelil

    September 12, 2018 at 7:25 PM

    There is absolutely such thing as being metrosexual – to think otherwise is narrow-minded, and to think metrosexuals are closeted gays is just plain ignorant.

  18. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 6:26 AM


    “Can’t wear white pants anymore so I’m shopping for vanilla bean now to start the fall” — Jordan


  19. jlal

    September 13, 2018 at 7:32 AM

    Corn, What part of Jordan is a model do you not understand?

  20. ctrealitygirl

    September 13, 2018 at 8:05 AM

    Wow…what’s with all the “Jordan is gay” talk?? Why would a gay man want to go on The Bachelorette or Bachelor In Paradise? It makes no sense to me. And I never got taht vibe from him at all…narcissistic at times, yes. But HE’S A MODEL!!! And I found him way more likeable on BIP and downright entertaining. rob22, you keep insisting he acted too over the moon about Jenna to be straight. Have you been watching these shows?? They ALL act over the moon about people they’ve just met. I believe he truly fell hard for her and didn’t see her for what she is. Alas, most of us watching her antics could see it…mostly the way she juggled Jordan and Benoit. I definitely got the impression she thrived on all the attention from men. But had hopes that at the end she really did have feelings for Jordan…until RS spilled the beans.

  21. rob22

    September 13, 2018 at 8:22 AM

    Yeah, I get that I’m probably wrong about Jordan being gay. The guy is just REALLY unusual. I’ve never seen anyone like him. He doesn’t act like any straight dude I’ve ever seen. Or any guy, period. But, of course, that doesn’t mean he’s gay. It could just mean he’s a weird guy. I’m OK with that assessment. There are a lot of weird people around. He’s just a different flavor of weird. Real different. His reactions to the things around him are off. Not normal. I’m sure that’s why they cast him on the show.

  22. tinyred500

    September 13, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    Jenna is a truly nasty piece – ‘duplicitous cheater’, great description rob22! I feel for Jordan. I’ve always liked him, he’s funny and doesn’t mind making a fool of himself…wearing those gold lamé underpants that Becca gave him for a start and that red flowery outfit on BIP! He doesn’t deserve this treatment.

    I definitely don’t think Jordan is gay, but over the top persona yes, absolutely. Why do people have to be given labels or pigeon holed?! I don’t get with the gay slurs at all. I really don’t think a gay man would want be a contestant on a dating reality show ..they have nowhere or no way to hide their past or who they are (pay people off etc). Overall, given this is a well known reality show in America, I’m absolutely sure there would be an ex something or other out there to ‘out’ them and sell their story to all and sundry.

  23. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 2:55 PM


    I didn’t know that in your world orientation and profession had a causal relationship.

    Again, No straight man has ever worried about what color pants he is wearing after labor day nor is vanilla bean a color in their mind.


  24. tinyred500

    September 13, 2018 at 3:20 PM

    Did it ever occur to you that Jordan has a sense of humour? A lot of his words etc., were said in jest and weren’t to be taken literally or seriously.

  25. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 6:54 PM

    I guess I don’t consider putting people down, talking about women as possessions, and just being flat out mean as having a “sense of humor”.

    Words matter.

    You cannot be a pig in jest; otherwise Trump would be the funniest man on the planet.

  26. hastings

    September 17, 2018 at 8:21 PM

    Your experience with men that are into fashion must be pretty limited. One of my first jobs was working in a men’s department of an upscale mall store. Most men that came in didn’t care about their clothes much but a few cared like it was the most important thing in their lives. Really didn’t have much to do with gay or straight.

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