Reality Steve

Bachelor in Paradise 5

The Final “Reader Emails” of the Calendar Year

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

First time messaging you! Long time reader and I have faithfully watched the Bachelor series for years. When I first started spoiling the seasons I worried that it would make me less interested in the shows, but this isn’t the case at all. Weirdly it has made me enjoy them more. And the added (free?) publicity – ABC should be sending you a cut! Especially with a show like this where the “prize” is basically a failed engagement. All I’m doing is giving you a way to watch the show a little differently. We all know by now what I do doesn’t hurt their show. Hell, Chris Harrison admitted it two weeks ago in a radio interview.

Regarding Colton – I am completely and utterly annoyed by the way that the producers handled his BIP entrance. Tia basically decided for everyone that they were in a relationship the second she walked into paradise – Colton had no say in the matter. So by the time Colton got there, everyone knew that he was Tia’s guy, even though he had never decided that at all. He never had a chance to talk to people, shop around, get to know anyone else. He was immediately pegged as “Tia’s” from the get go, which I thought was utterly unfair. So when he wasn’t interested in her right off the bat, everyone ganged up on him and started acting like he was some indecisive prick. When he really just didn’t want to date Tia, which is his right to do. I thought that Tia was super crazy the whole season- deciding that they were in a relationship and staking her claim before he even arrived in paradise.

So all of this to say, I am glad he is the Bachelor. He did NOT get a fair shot in paradise to actually meet anyone or try anything new out.

Thanks for your blog and spoilers. Sending the best from Boston.

Comment: I disagree with that, but I do respect your argument. You made a good point. I just think Colton is more at fault for his behavior than you do, which is fine.

Hey RS! Not one to put too much stock into all the fame whores from Bach nation. But watching Annalise legit makes me feel embarrassed. The desperation that she spews is either portrayed by a terrible edit or she has deep seeded issues. Is it pathetic or sad? ????? Anyways, I wanted to see if she was using her social media to defend her poor edit/who she really is. I didn’t see much, but I did notice that you’d be hard pressed to find a single negative comment on any of her photos. She’s clearly monitoring her comments very closely to secure a positive portrayal and following. It’s all so fake, I can’t deal with it. Thank you for keeping this dumb world real. I find it harder and harder to watch this show as I get older and start my own family etc. You make it tolerable. Thanks for that!

Comment: I haven’t followed her but if there’s nothing negative on her IG comments, then yeah, she’s definitely monitoring it.

Hey Steve! Thanks for all you do and best wishes with your new fur baby Luka!

When you got the info about the 2018 Paradise couples, which one shocked you the most? I still find it weird that Krystal and Chris meshed so we’ll…but they seem to work!

Comment: Yeah, those two surprised me the most for sure. It was just random.

Hi! Some questions for you this week…

1. I was listening to the chicks in the office podcast and they said they heard that Blake was BEGGING to be the bachelor. I know a lot of these guys want the gig and they’ll comply with whatever producers want, but begging? Lol made sense because of his post and the shadiness I felt when I read it. Did you hear anything like this from your sources? Begging? No, I didn’t hear that. But he definitely would’ve taken it if offered. He was interviewed, and wasn’t chosen.

2. Also, on another chicks in the office podcast, they had Ashley & Jared on and they asked about getting engaged in front of Kevin. And Jared was like, “we had this plan of getting engaged in paradise before Kevin was casted.” And Ashey’s stuttering in the background, “he… he… he had the plan.” And it was kind of laughed off by the hosts and them when Jared corrected himself. But oh my gosh. All my thoughts confirmed that I think this couple is fake and so manufactured. I know you don’t care or follow this couple but do you honestly think they’re going to go through with this sham of an engagement? I personally always thought it was. Obviously, she’s liked the guy, no questioning on her end, but it just seems so… calculated and showy of a relationship. Ad after ad after ad on instagram. It’s so bizarre. It’s just so hard to believe them when everything about their relationship has been about exposure from the minute they got back together. Of course people are going to be skeptical.

3. I’m not going to tune into the bachelor because I can’t stand Colton but I’m curious why a 26 year old? Sure women can date younger and you’ll get a few older than him but for the majority they have to be what, 22-25? No one believes in this day and age these girls want to settle down. Why don’t they try anymore to at least make this show a bit believable? It’s a bit different when it’s a bachelorette that’s young because women dating older is not that taboo. And nothing wrong with a younger guy dating older, but it’s less likely, you know? I know Ben Higgins was around 27, I believe, but he didn’t have a history of being indecisive, going from girl to girl in the franchise.Ben was 27 when he was the Bachelor, so is it really that big of a difference if Colton is 26? Ben wasn’t indecisive? He told two women at the end he was in love with them both?

4. Are you liking this season of the challenge? It’s so weird to me how the only two teams winning are Brad and Kyle or Amanda and Zach. Bananas hasn’t won a challenge at all. And do you read spoilers for the show?

Comment: Honestly, I’m way behind. I need to catch up.

Hi Steve

Two questions:

Didn’t you have Cassandra on from just Pablo’s season/paradise? I think you forgot her when you talked about his girls…No. She hasn’t been on.

Do they make them get up at certain times in paradise or is it more laid back?

Comment: I’m not sure how strict it is versus Bachelor but I thought I did hear they don’t have to be up nearly as early.

Hi Steve!

Do you know if it’s possible to be cast on Bachelor in Paradise without being on the bachelor/bachelorette first?

Thank you!

I’m new to watching this show and reading your blog, but I am hooked!!!

Comment: There have been 5 seasons of Paradise, and every contestant has been on a previous season except Ashley’s I’s sister, Lauren. That’s been the only outlier.

I saw this on twitter earlier. Apparently the Property Brothers have been offered to be the Bachelor multiple times?? Are the constantly trying to recruit celebs and just end up with a former contestant because everyone else says no?

Thanks for doing what you do!

Comment: They interview a bunch of people, but considering it’s now 23 seasons in a row where the lead has been a former contestant, them talking to “celebrities” is obviously just window dressing and those people really don’t have a chance.

Hey Steve! Congrats on your precious new dog. What a cutie! I could not be happier for you. She’s been a handful but I’m so glad I have her.

Here’s my Q. I notice that Joe the Grocer is going to be on Dancing with the Stars and the last 3 bachelors they have chosen were unexpected. Plus Juan Pablo.

Do you know if the Bachelor production does some kind of testing or Q rating to see who is most appealing to their audience? Using polling, surveys and demographics? They absolutely do that. But we’ll never know for sure if their choices are strictly based off the results of those tests. They’ll never share that.

I know a lot of companies do that, and perhaps there was more of a reaction to these guys from those that were polled?

Colton, Nick and Arie all had some name recognition from previous seasons, BIP and other avenues (though with Arie, it was more his crazy following that I know you complained about).

During Desi’s season, online forums were buzzing about Juan Pablo, even though he was eliminated early and turned out to be so unliked in the end.

The expected runners up who were not chosen tended to be less-than-compelling, too.

Could this be part of how production chooses their leads?

Just trying to figure out some of these head scratchers.

Also, is it just me or is BIP a complete snooze this time? I’m struggling to get through 4 hours a week of it.

Comment: Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore. It’s finally over!

Hi Steve!

I want to start off by apologizing if you have already been asked these questions before.. I don’t always get a chance to read every reader email/response, so I am sorry if you have!

Anyways.. I have been watching Unreal again lately (just finished the 3rd season) and it had me wondering if any of the drugs and/or hooking up (between producers and contestants) incidents, like in the show, go on behind the scenes on any of the Bachelor shows?

Comment: Hookups have absolutely happened. Drug use? I mean I’d be naïve to say, “No, no one has ever used drugs on that set in 16 years.” But can I pinpoint any particular person or incident? No.

Hi Steve,

Just curious about the contestants’ living arrangements for BIP. Are guys and girls kept separately? Is it like The Challenge, where they just pick their rooms? Are they allowed to sleep with their “significant other” throughout filming or kept apart after a certain time of the night? I don’t think I’ve ever seen the inside of where they stay.


Comment: They do have separate areas, but once you pair up with someone, you absolutely can stay in their bed every night if you want. Plenty have.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. katieottawa

    September 12, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    this is what i wrote a couple of weeks ago.

    personally i found the men to be much more serious, loyal and genuine to the women they were interested in than the women who seemed to care more about the attention of multiple men on them and playing games.

    jordan. you can tell he is interested in jenna. it was a done deal for him, right after he went to the other girl he was seeing before and was upfront with her. the rest of the time he was only about her. shes the one who decided to play games with benoit. he may have his flaws but i think he deserves better. she isnt serious about him which in a way i feel bad for him. shes going to hurt him.

    i saw this coming a mile away. poor guy.

  2. klo823

    September 12, 2018 at 9:46 AM

    I don’t buy what Jordan is selling. His feelings right off the bat for Jenna on Paradise seemed a little too strong and contrived. I believe the texts are real, but I think Jenna & Jordan were in on this together for publicity and notoriety in the franchise.

    Another theory is maybe Jordan thought they were going to ride it out until a publicized abc wedding and then break up after. He might’ve been blindsided in that respect…just a thought. I know his Mom had said she had to console Jordan crying on her lap or whatever, but she could easily have been in on it too to help promote her son’s narrative.

  3. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 11:30 AM

    I’m not a big fan of Jordan’s, but I don’t think for a second he was in on this. Jenna is a manipulator and user, plain and simple. It was obvious that while jealous and insecure, he was also big time into to Jenna. He didn’t even look at anyone else one he saw her. No, I think he is legit and was used by a master manipulator.

  4. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 12:12 PM

    I’m not a fan of Jordan & I have already commented that I see this as a form of karma for the way he’s been treating other people in both shows. Not so much David, because I think David enjoyed tweaking Jordan & drawing a reaction, but more like the explosions he had where he was abusive and profane with women. That’s not OK.

    I had considered Jordan’s “love at first sight” reaction to Jenna initially as possibly a gay man trying to react like they think a straight man might react…. kind of like Tom Cruise’s couch jumping a few years back. If you know what I’m talking about there. His response to Jenna was WAY over the top. What straight guy acts like that?? But I did warm up mostly to the idea that he was really into Jenna… though I’m not completely off the idea of him being gay & trying to act straight.

    Anyway, I’m still ultimately blown away by Jenna’s actions. Not only was she a duplicitous cheater, she was actually planning on leaving Jordan with a big black eye by making up some story about him on the way out the door. Who does that? What a terrible person she is. Her actions are way beyond the typical cheating that we’ve come to expect. She is a very mean spirited person. It shows you what some people are capable of.

  5. littlelil

    September 12, 2018 at 12:37 PM

    Surprised nothing was mentioned in today’s post about Amanda’s arrest or Bekah’s pregnancy.

  6. leighk

    September 12, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    As far as people dropping out when they find out who The Bachelor/ette will be, it’s probably not too many people, but I did. Of course, this was quite a while ago (Lorenzo’s season). After casting called to give me his info to check him out, I called to drop out. The reason I say it’s probably not too many people is because the casting agent pushed very hard for me to continue the process. She even suggested I stay “just to see where it takes you.” It was 3 phone calls before she realized I wasn’t giving in. The next season they called but I was in a “real relationship.” That year (I don’t remember who The Bachelor was), they even asked how serious my relationship was, lol. Based on my experience, anyone who they were interested in casting accepted whether for the “right reasons” or exposure.

  7. pugmom

    September 12, 2018 at 3:41 PM

    Okay I was one of the ones who didn’t believe it was real at first but now I do. I feel really bad for Jordan. He seemed really into her and he was very loyal. It’s hard to think it was a fake relationship for him because he was very bad at faking attraction to Becca during her season. I gotta give RS props because he really didn’t like Jordan so much throughout the show yet when he found this information he even reached out to Jordan to confirm that it was really the way she writes. I really admire that! Also… Leighk that’s really interesting that casting reached out to you to let you know who the Bachelor was. I wonder if they still do that??

  8. corn29

    September 12, 2018 at 3:45 PM

    2 wrongs don’t make a right but I’m actually okay with this. Jordan is a world class jerk. The way he spoke to Benoit last night was deplorable. He treats people horribly. This is just karma for him.

    Happy to see Jordan get his comeuppance! Well earned and deserved!

  9. screenname

    September 12, 2018 at 4:04 PM

    I honestly don’t get why people follow anyone from the Bachelor franchise. I tried following a couple of accounts on IG, and It’s like literally watching commercials. These people don’t actually choose to use the product, the product chooses them and they just use it because hey, it’s free.
    And they all promote the same exact thing!
    There are famous actors with fewer followers than some of these contestants.
    Maybe when people stop blindly following bachelor/bachelorette accounts they might change what the typical cast member looks like and get some more interesting contestants with some substance.

  10. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:15 PM

    Why did Amanda get arrested?

    As for Jordan being gray, really? This is not 1988. People don’t have to be in the closet anymore, unless they’re a Scientologist. He is a model and metro Male. My gaydar never went off with him. I do agree he ducked at faking he liked Becca. However, he didn’t take liking Jenna, he was crazy about her.

  11. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:17 PM

    Jeez, Gay not gray.

  12. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:19 PM

    I hate autocorrect

  13. jlal

    September 12, 2018 at 4:58 PM

    okay, turned off autocorrect. He sucked at faking he liked Becca, but I don’t think he faked liking Jenna.

  14. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 4:59 PM

    True, being out is way easier these days. But if he was out, he wouldn’t have been a Bachelorette or BIP contestant. So there is incentive to fake it to be on the show. And I get the Metrosexual thing. I wasn’t reacting to his grooming, I was reacting to how he acted around Jenna. Gay people acting straight might overcompensate, like Tom Cruise did. I mostly think he’s not gay. But I’m just not ready to dismiss it completely.

  15. rob22

    September 12, 2018 at 5:04 PM

    I am largely in agreement. Jordan has no filter. So there isn’t much to read about him. He puts whatever is on his mind out there. That’s why he can be a world class jerk one minute and a decent guy the next minute. He’s ruled by his emotions.

  16. corn29

    September 12, 2018 at 6:34 PM

    No such thing as metro… just a made up, contrived, contemporary label for someone who still hasn’t come out yet — even though it’s 2018. NTTIAWWT.

  17. littlelil

    September 12, 2018 at 7:25 PM

    There is absolutely such thing as being metrosexual – to think otherwise is narrow-minded, and to think metrosexuals are closeted gays is just plain ignorant.

  18. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 6:26 AM


    “Can’t wear white pants anymore so I’m shopping for vanilla bean now to start the fall” — Jordan


  19. jlal

    September 13, 2018 at 7:32 AM

    Corn, What part of Jordan is a model do you not understand?

  20. ctrealitygirl

    September 13, 2018 at 8:05 AM

    Wow…what’s with all the “Jordan is gay” talk?? Why would a gay man want to go on The Bachelorette or Bachelor In Paradise? It makes no sense to me. And I never got taht vibe from him at all…narcissistic at times, yes. But HE’S A MODEL!!! And I found him way more likeable on BIP and downright entertaining. rob22, you keep insisting he acted too over the moon about Jenna to be straight. Have you been watching these shows?? They ALL act over the moon about people they’ve just met. I believe he truly fell hard for her and didn’t see her for what she is. Alas, most of us watching her antics could see it…mostly the way she juggled Jordan and Benoit. I definitely got the impression she thrived on all the attention from men. But had hopes that at the end she really did have feelings for Jordan…until RS spilled the beans.

  21. rob22

    September 13, 2018 at 8:22 AM

    Yeah, I get that I’m probably wrong about Jordan being gay. The guy is just REALLY unusual. I’ve never seen anyone like him. He doesn’t act like any straight dude I’ve ever seen. Or any guy, period. But, of course, that doesn’t mean he’s gay. It could just mean he’s a weird guy. I’m OK with that assessment. There are a lot of weird people around. He’s just a different flavor of weird. Real different. His reactions to the things around him are off. Not normal. I’m sure that’s why they cast him on the show.

  22. tinyred500

    September 13, 2018 at 8:59 AM

    Jenna is a truly nasty piece – ‘duplicitous cheater’, great description rob22! I feel for Jordan. I’ve always liked him, he’s funny and doesn’t mind making a fool of himself…wearing those gold lamé underpants that Becca gave him for a start and that red flowery outfit on BIP! He doesn’t deserve this treatment.

    I definitely don’t think Jordan is gay, but over the top persona yes, absolutely. Why do people have to be given labels or pigeon holed?! I don’t get with the gay slurs at all. I really don’t think a gay man would want be a contestant on a dating reality show ..they have nowhere or no way to hide their past or who they are (pay people off etc). Overall, given this is a well known reality show in America, I’m absolutely sure there would be an ex something or other out there to ‘out’ them and sell their story to all and sundry.

  23. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 2:55 PM


    I didn’t know that in your world orientation and profession had a causal relationship.

    Again, No straight man has ever worried about what color pants he is wearing after labor day nor is vanilla bean a color in their mind.


  24. tinyred500

    September 13, 2018 at 3:20 PM

    Did it ever occur to you that Jordan has a sense of humour? A lot of his words etc., were said in jest and weren’t to be taken literally or seriously.

  25. corn29

    September 13, 2018 at 6:54 PM

    I guess I don’t consider putting people down, talking about women as possessions, and just being flat out mean as having a “sense of humor”.

    Words matter.

    You cannot be a pig in jest; otherwise Trump would be the funniest man on the planet.

  26. hastings

    September 17, 2018 at 8:21 PM

    Your experience with men that are into fashion must be pretty limited. One of my first jobs was working in a men’s department of an upscale mall store. Most men that came in didn’t care about their clothes much but a few cared like it was the most important thing in their lives. Really didn’t have much to do with gay or straight.

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