Reality Steve

Are You the One?

“Are You the One?” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 9 Recap

Photo Credit: MTV

Terrence J wanders back into the living room later that night and Kayla rhapsodizes about the magic of the dolphins she saw – and that Moe was okay to be around, too. I swear, you have never seen such lukewarm sentiments expressed on television before. Poor Moe. But also poor Tomas, because Cali announces she’s not sure if she cut her relationship with Brett off too quickly. They walk to the Truth Booth and the house waits to find out the answer. Lights flash across their bodies, Cali almost has a nervous breakdown, and we find out they’re not a match. Brett comforts Cali immediately and tells her they’ll figure it all out. Meanwhile, Tomas and Nutsa are thrilled and totally relieved. Maybe now Tomas can bring Cali back to that outdoor shower and Nutsa can chase Brett around a sofa or three!

At the next Ceremony, the girls get to select their matches. Last time they were in charge, they only nailed one stingy beam and they are out for redemption:

Lauren chooses Andrew.

Nutsa selects Brett. And because a producer clearly told him that he should, Terrence J asks Brett if he is actually over Cali and Brett answers that he has to be over her. Cali smiles supportively as Brett and his forever second choice lock in their matches.

Kayla picks Cam and the two of them rattle off why they are right for one another while Kwasi looks like he’s ready to vomit.

Samantha chooses Daniel since he hasn’t let another girl touch his d*ck as part of a stupid game in a while.

Kenya picks Tevin.

Morgan selects Zack.

Bria, acting purely on strategy, chooses Lewis.

Asia is up next and it comes out that she sleeps next to Lewis every night, but he hasn’t kissed her, spooned her, or allowed her to go down on him the way Kenya randomly did that one night. Lewis claims his reason for not putting his paws on Asia is because he knows that if he did and then spoke to another girl, Asia would react by cutting him – literally. But since Asia didn’t bring any actual slicing instruments to the Ceremony, she responds with just words that are meant to dice Lewis and his ego into teensy slivered bits. If he doesn’t want to claim her, she says, she will move on to someone far more worthy. And now that she’s declared she will not be the cake Lewis gets to have and eat too, Asia picks Kwasi.

Cali happily chooses Tomas.

Jasmine and Moe – due to the process of elimination – lock in last as a match.

The group’s high point was getting four beams and tonight they feel very confident. Still, they manage to secure only four beams again. Terrence J elects not to tell them they’re garbage this time. Instead, he uses positive reinforcement. He encourages them to just stay focused. “Seven couples are still completely lost,” Tevin says, though not for one second does he contemplates that he could be a part of one of those doomed pairs. Maybe Tevin can wonder about such a thing tomorrow because tonight is the night Asia wants some real answers from Lewis. He is perplexed as to why he’s being perceived as the bad guy just because he’s not nailing the girl he’s sleeping beside. Asia pulls him away to ask what his deal is and Lewis finally announces – after prefacing his comments with a disclosure that he doesn’t really know how to say this any other way – that he just doesn’t find her all that attractive. “That’s why it’s easy for me to sleep next to you, because I’m not physically attracted to you,” he says and Asia maintains her composure, walks away calmly, goes into a bathroom and takes a few deep breaths, and ends up crying in the confessional like I think anyone would.

Can that volcano I’m rooting for maybe just take out Lewis? I know you’d expect that I’d want piping hot lava to roll over Zack and Bria also, but I’m more than willing to spare them in this little fantasy. I figure they’ll eventually just destroy one another the moment they get off that island.

Nell Kalter teaches Film and Media at a school in New York. She is the author of the books THAT YEAR and STUDENT, both available on in paperback and for your Kindle. Also be sure to check out her website at Her twitter is @nell_kalter.

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