Reality Steve

The Bachelor 23 - Colton

The “Bachelor” Colton – Episode 4 Recap, More Caelynn/Hannah B., & Chris Harrison Has a New Girlfriend

Photo Credit: ABC

-We are in Singapore and, well, Colton hasn’t changed his wardrobe. Well he has from his date with Tayshia thank God, but, for whatever reason, and I mentioned this in my episode 2 recap, but Colton insists on wearing t-shirts that look like a night gown on him. I don’t know where he got this style from, I don’t know who told him this was a new look, and I don’t know if he even looks in a mirror in the morning when he dresses himself, but can somebody please find the guy a t-shirt that doesn’t say XXXXXL on it next time? Thanks. I really appreciate it. Hey, maybe I’m the one out of touch here. I am a good 16 years older than Colton, so maybe I’m the moron and all the cool kids wear t-shirts that hang down to their knee caps now. Forgive me if I am, and Colton, you may continue to wear your nightie out in public.

-You’ll never guess on this group date who decided to do everything in their power to grab the most attention from Colton. You’re correct. It’s Demi. He gave her a piggy back ride because, you know, that’s what 6 year olds ask for. The group went shopping in downtown Singapore, then had some leech therapy. Demi really bonded with the leeches for some strange reason. Can’t imagine why. She said they loved her blood, and if I didn’t know any better, she was alluding to the fact that she grew up in the leech family and now it all makes sense. This kinda reminded me of “Stand By Me” when they all went in the lake and had leeches stuck on them and that one dude had one in his underwear and passed out. If anything, the leech therapy made Demi more insufferable this episode, so I’m assuming they won’t get much repeat business there.

-Also on this date we come to find out that while Colton and Cassie visited a fortune teller, he told them they were brother and sister in a past life. And that’s totally 100% legit because fortune tellers are always so accurate. Was that one of the ones that charges $10 for absolute nonsense that you see down on Venice Beach? Look, I’m fully aware some people actually believe in garbage like that but I can’t help but laugh. Like, if you’ve ever actually sat down and paid good hard earned money to have a complete stranger flip over some cards and somehow tell you about your life, then my next question to you would be, what if I asked you to do the same with me? “But Steve, you’re not a fortune teller.” And you know this how? Did you somehow vet out this guy’s fortune telling PHD before sitting down and giving him money? I’m guessing no. So you paying him to tell you sh** is no different than paying me. Don’t even get me started. It’s laughable and I’m now glad Colton and Cassie were brother and sister a long time ago. We can use that as yet another reason why they won’t come close to lasting. They’re siblings.

-The rest of the after party was spent showing us the Demi/Courtney feud. Really? This is all they could come up with for their drama? I don’t know for 100% fact, but knowing what I know about this show, I’m guessing Courtney was being told by producers over and over again it wasn’t her time to talk to Colton and they would tell her when it’s ok. But she can’t say that on camera, so we got what we saw her say which, I’m still confused on. She sat there nervous about not talking to him, Demi tells her to go talk to him, and she still didn’t and seemed like she was waiting for Colton to come pull her away. Which might’ve been what she was told by producers that don’t go grab him, he’ll come get you, but again, that’s strictly for storyline purposes since they know it’ll cause drama. Because right after Demi tells her to talk to him, she goes back in a second time to talk to Colton. And I wrote down exactly what she said:

“I’ve just been reflecting about everything and thinking about, you know, how you reacted to what I told you (her mom being released from prison)…and it felt really good.”

Soooo yeah, Demi had zero reason to go back in there and talk to him a second time before Courtney, but I’m guessing was told to while Courtney was told to stay away. That was pointless to go back and say that. It’s almost like now the show is feeding into the parody that SNL makes of them. They already did the “can I steal you for a sec” parody with the kids during the credits on episode 3, and Demi coming back just to say “I thought about our conversation and it felt really good” is so mundane and useless, it’s like when SNL has the girls interrupt and say “Mmmmm…I like this.” This was the best they could do for drama in episode 4. It was painful to watch because it’s nothing we haven’t seen 100x over.



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