-We’re at the cocktail party now and Colton gets his time with Hannah G. first and, ummmm, did someone forget to tell these two this was a family show? Hannah rolled around in bed with him like this was prom night in high school. I’m just assuming most of us did that with our dates on prom night. Sophomore and junior year I did. My senior prom date sucked and none of that happened and I’d rather not talk about it anymore thank you bye. But holy geez, Colton and Hannah were pretty hot and heavy on his bed, which was shocking considering the first two times we’ve seen these two kiss, it couldn’t have been more awkward and unsexy if they tried. Is our little Colton growing up before our eyes? Is he finally learning how to kiss at 26 (now 27) years old? Awwwwww, how cute.
-We also get some sort of resolution to the Caelynn/Hannah B. feud that’s dominated the show for 4 episodes. Caelynn pulls her outside to talk and basically says that while they may never be best friends like they once were, they should be supportive of each other, past or no past, and move on from this. Hannah B. agrees, all while still giving none of the viewers any clarity as to why best friends became no longer best friends in less than a year. Pretty sure at this point we’ll never get an answer. Even at the WTA, I expect them both to be vague about it and not give specific examples. Frustrating, I know, but that’s all we’re gonna get at this point. Knowing that pageants are all about competition, and women know they aren’t going to win every one, I just find it hard to believe Caelynn’s line of “I placed higher than her so she was jealous.” I’m fully aware there’s jealousy and cattiness in the pageant world. I just don’t think THAT’S what caused best friends to stop becoming best friends. Because Caelynn placed higher? I just don’t see it.
-Oh lookie here, more Demi and Courtney fighting. This is sooooo entertaining and so worth hearing for the 900th time this episode. Demi says this about Courtney: “She’s always putting on a show and saying like the craziest things I ever heard of.” That’s rich Demi coming from you. Very rich. Then Courtney gets time with Colton and tells him: “The fact that you’re the Bachelor & the fact that this is a TV show is the reason why she’s here.” Probably about the most accurate thing said this season. And the breaking of the 4th wall there was pretty outstanding. Very rarely have you ever heard a contestant on this show acknowledge the fact they’re filming a show. And when Courtney came back into the room and asked everyone to raise their hand who thought she was the cancer of the house (what Demi told Colton she was), the fact that Demi was the only one to raise her hand and others immediately called Demi out for that, pretty much tells you all you need to know about Demi. She did what she wanted out there to gain as much attention for herself as possible. She calls others the mean girls when it was her being the mean girl the whole time. I feel like I’m watching a 7th grader watching her on TV. Of course, Demi doesn’t see it whatsoever, thinks she’s not the least bit in the wrong, and will run with this edit for as long as it’ll take her, which makes her infinitely more annoying. Unfortunately she’s gonna be on our TV all summer people. Get ready.
-Rose ceremony time. Tayshia, Demi, and Caelynn safe with roses. Colton has a lot to say people. Give him time. “This has been an unbelievable week. Thank you for making this an unbelievable start to a great journey.” Two sentences, two “unbelievables.” Unbelievable.
Hannah G.: I’d be covering my face on my IG story last night watching that back too if I were her.
Heather: She’s still there. Hasn’t slept with a guy. Hasn’t kissed a guy. That all changes next week. Well, the kissing part.
Kirpa: It’s good to see that they’re giving background characters so much air time this season.
Hannah B.: For the first hour of the show, it seemed like Hannah B. did every ITM. What are they do now that Hannah and Caelynn have squashed their feud and Demi’s two enemies (Tracy and Courtney) are gone?
Katie: Ummm, she dances and stuff.
Elyse: After a week that had social media loving Elyse, clamoring for her to be the “Bachelorette,” saying she was the most real person on the show, she gets no air-time and next week she leaves on her own. Yeah, not happening people.
Sydney: Ummm, she dances and stuff.
Cassie: He likey.
Nicole: Chris Harrison said at the beginning of the season that Ashley I. now had a rival in crying when speaking of Nicole. Yeah, we’ve seen her shed a few tears, but she’s not even in Ashley’s stratosphere and Nicole gets eliminated next week. More hyperbole.
“Ladies, Colton, it’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. I’ll be texting my new boo over here in the corner as I’ve moved on from dating contestants and now will just date people who cover the contestants.”
Onyeka: She’s still there too.
Next week, on to Thailand where Cassie and Heather get 1-on-1’s, everyone who isn’t already on will start swooning about how Cassie and Colton look together and what a perfect couple they make blah blah blah, all while 99% of them have no idea she was filming another reality show with her ex-boyfriend a week before she left for Colton’s season. But I’m sure that won’t matter to anyone in the least bit who’s a Col-assie fan. Or Cass-ton fan. Whatever their name is.
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.
dogmomma
January 29, 2019 at 9:28 AM
SO BORING! One of the many things about Colton that drives me crazy is the way he has the same smile on his face regardless of the situation. The whole time Caelynn was talking about her awful ordeal, it appeared that he was smiling. It seems like he’s auditioning for a role on a reality show……..oh wait, he’s already on the show!
rob22
January 29, 2019 at 9:33 AM
I watched most of last nights show. I don’t know why. Usually despite the ridiculous plot lines, there are 3-4 girls that do seem to be developing deep feelings (no doubt influenced by alcohol and exotic locales). Maybe it’s because I haven’t been watching closely. And maybe it will still happen. But I’m not seeing it, and the ending implies that Colton had limited interest as well. Idk. Maybe I’m just not paying close enough attention.
iampunka
January 29, 2019 at 11:32 AM
Sounds like Tayshia might have just killed her chance to be the Bachette. Huge social media mistake. LOL. I’m pulling for Hannah G for that anyway. I’d watch her. And my guess is that she will be it.
Colton is super dull. Makes Sean Lowe seem exciting.
realitynyc12
January 29, 2019 at 12:42 PM
I fully agree with RS about the confusingly underwhelming response Colton gave to Caelynn’s story. Ok, he dated a sexual assault survivor and intimacywas difficult. But to then start talking about his virginity out of the blue only to say, literally, “its complicated” as to the reasoning behind it was a total facepalm moment. He could have said anything, how much stock he puts into it because of the frat culture (and sports culture) objectifying women , that would have made me see him in a different light somewhat. Dude has all the eloquency of a brass doorknob. Chris Harrison is ridiculously full of it for hyping that conversation from Coltons standpoint to this extent but what else is new from this show, ugh.
I do hope RS is wrong and Hannah G gets the Bachelorette gig, she’s adorable. There’s something about Caelynn that rubs me the wrong way, the pageant “on-ness” perhaps. I hope being genuine and likable outweighs a good “story” this time but knowing how this show works, I worry RS’s prediction is spot on…
SNL did a fantastic spoof of this show this past weekend:
https://youtu.be/rjPVo564uxE
Behold “Dolton” from “Turd River, Colorado” ?
jesmlet
January 29, 2019 at 1:52 PM
Disappointed because Tayshia seemed normal and old enough to actually understand marriage. Hannah G is about as interesting as a piece of toast and seems pretty non-verbal. I don’t get why anyone would want to watch that aside from her looks of course.
It’ll be interesting to see how bad the Bachelorette talk was between Caelynn and Cassie and whether or not that’ll hurt her chances. I wouldn’t mind a throwback to Danielle Maltby. I’m sure her POS publicist is drooling over the chance but Danielle seems nice and normal enough.
adelina
January 29, 2019 at 2:51 PM
@realitynyc….yes I saw the SNL skit with Dolton. What a perfect name for him.
I agree with everyone else here that Dolton is a total dud. He is incredibly boring, has zero intelligence and just overall the most basic jock 101 dude you could find anywhere. To say that he’s less interesting than Sean Lowe is saying a lot!!!
I think Hannah G. is adorable but she’s very young and seems too girl-ish. Can we have a real woman on this show or a real grown ass man? C’mon!!! These young girls and their silly drama. I can’t handle Demi. She is a complete moron.
tinyred500
January 31, 2019 at 10:59 AM
So far I’m agreeing with most of what Steve says, and with so many of the comments on here too.
I’m only up to episode 3 (I’m a week behind America), and it seems all the episodes are merging into one; they are so boring. I thought Arie’s season was lacklustre and Nick’s too, but this one is sleep inducing…maybe I’m becoming more cynical each season…who knows! So many of the girls appear to have a tagline or theme that’s bought up at almost every camera opportunity, I’m British and if I was mad enough to go on this show, that would be played to a boring death, if this season is anything to go by. That’s not forgetting Colton’s virginity…it’s becoming an infantile joke, it’s sooo overplayed, please no more.
Demi is indeed this season’s Corrine, and the original wasn’t fun to watch the first time round, her S&M scene with Colton was toe curling embarrassing, and to top it off, there’s far too much of Hannah and Caelynn’s feud, they are as bad as each other, more over I’ve given up caring (if I ever did), it’s so tedious to watch. So many of the girls this season seem very immature..23 plus going on 17. Colton comes across as bland and truly doesn’t have anything interesting or memorable to say, and doesn’t appear to have any real chemistry with any particular girl, he just seems to be going through the motions of being with each each girl and being The Bachelor.
I haven’t read any spoilers and only accidentally read who he picks. I have no idea why viewing figures have increased, maybe there’s a lot of insomniacs watching, and need the show for sleep inducement.
tinyred500
January 31, 2019 at 2:34 PM
I meant to add that I throughly recommend reading Sharleen Joynt’s blog (see Steve’s comment), I’ve been reading it for a while, but this season I’ve read it after I’ve watched each episode. It’s spoiler free and really adds a great insight how behind the scenes and editing is done and works. Sharleen’s experience and knowledge makes you see how both contestant’s and viewer’s are manipulated.