Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & Quick WTA Recap

Photo Credit: ABC

On a normal week of “Reader Emails,” I usually post anywhere between 30-35 emails. That’s usually where it ends up being. Some weeks a little more, some a little less. If I were to have posted every email I’ve got in the last 24 hours, this week’s “Reader Emails” would’ve easily been over 250 emails. There was no way I was gonna do that many emails. There was a lot of the same stuff repeated in them, so I tried to make each email separate. There’s a few repeaters, but trust me, if I would’ve posted everything, it would’ve been the same 3 topics over and over: Cassie’s dad, Colton and Cassie’s breakup, and Bachelorette Hannah B. I can’t remember the last time I received that many emails in a 24 hr period. It was nuts. I appreciate all the interest, but a lot of you probably aren’t going to see your email in here this week for no other reason than I wasn’t going to answer over 200 of them. Sorry. There was no rhyme or reason really to what made it in other than trying not to repeat topics. Still some great emails in here this week for sure as it hit on a variety of topics.

Their honestly isn’t a lot to cover on the WTA last night. It was a sh** show. I can’t remember the last one that had that much screaming and talking over each other all night long. Holy crap. Since when did they think 10 women speaking at the same time was good TV? That was awful. Here are just a few quick thoughts on it:

-A ton of people online asked where Elyse was. This was spoiled in last Tuesday’s column. She had a prior commitment to attend a wedding in Mexico.
-If I didn’t already know Hannah B. was gonna be the “Bachelorette,” last night would’ve been further proof. It was clear as day who they were grooming up there for the next lead. Hannah came across 100x better last night than she did during the season.
-The Onyeka/Nicole situation was ridiculous. The consensus seems to be that Nicole is completely different off camera than on camera. And the charge from Nina that they showed in the promo, yet didn’t seem to give airtime to in the show, where Nicole said at the pool during his 1-on-1 with Elyse that Elyse wasn’t pretty enough and was too old is straight up bullying by Nicole, the one who couldn’t stand being bullied all season apparently. So she loses a ton of credibility there. Of course, the show just seemed to swipe that comment under the rug and never bring it up so they could give her some ice cream.
-Demi & Courtney? They both acted how I expected them to. Wasn’t surprised by either of their actions. Demi is a try hard who annoys a ton of people and Courtney with the pacifier stunt was a low blow. Not to mention Courtney’s arguing tactics seems to be, “The louder I talk and more I yell, the more important my point becomes.” Yes, there were a ton of people talking at once on stage, but listening to those two yap away at each other was nauseating. Demi does it to get a rise out of people and continue to play up her character, and Courtney, well, I don’t know what her deal was. She had every right to be pissed at Demi for the “cancer in the house” comment, she just went about arguing it the wrong way.
-Katie vs Caelynn? Katie in a first round knockout. Obviously Caelynn fans disagree, but watching it last night, I fully believed Katie and didn’t believe Caelynn. Unfortunate because uttering the phrase “I didn’t believe Caelynn” apparently will now make me some women hater. No, it doesn’t. Doesn’t change the fact her rape story from college is tragic. Hate that she went through that. But in this story of what Katie told, and of what I’ve heard, I believe Katie is telling the truth about what she heard on the bus and what happened in the post show phone call with Caelynn. I wasn’t buying Caelynn’s side of the story last night. I just didn’t see it.

So yeah, that’s about it for “Women Tell All.” As for the mini back and forth with Demi last night on Twitter, I mean, I could eviscerate her (and even Derek’s slimy ass for chiming in), but there’s no point. Anyone with half a brain could see what she’s doing and I’m not going to engage any further. Just let her disappear into reality TV oblivion after this summer is over and be done with her. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about and, again, trying too hard to stay relevant. I don’t have time for people like that. I gave my one sentence retort and I’m done.

Nell Kalter has your “Temptation Island” recap now up for your reading pleasure. Only three episodes left now until this shit show is over. And boy, we’re gonna have A LOT to talk about when this is all said and done. Don’t forget, tomorrow’s podcast at the end will have a conversation with Kaci Campbell to discuss what we saw last night. As for my regular guest? A little blast from the past in “Bachelor” world. Never had her on before but she was definitely part of one of the most interesting things we ever saw on this show.

A quick exclusive for next week’s episode 9 where Kaci begins to question if Evan ever loved her:

Lets get to “Reader Emails,” shall we?

Hi Steve!

I recall another parent not giving her blessing… When Sean asked Catherine’s mom for her blessing (dad wasn’t really in the picture), she replied that if he chooses Catherine at the end then she will see. She would not give her blessing while he still had other girls as options.

Comment: Correct.

everyone always talks about how reality shows are scripted. The ones that I watch (bachelor, TI, survivor and love island) I don’t think are scripted at all. The bachelor contestants are influenced by producers but still, not scripted. What’s your opinion on where this assumption comes from and how often is it true?

Comment: I hate the word scripted. Nothing is scripted. Scripted implies you are handed a bunch of papers and told to memorize lines and scenes. That’s not what reality TV is. What it is though in unscripted drama. You are put in situations and told to act/talk about certain things, which production inevitably knows, will result in drama.

Hi Steve! Congrats on your award nomination!! people really appreciate your hard work and dedication to this site! Woops. I haven’t really been promoting that at all except once on Twitter. Probably because I know I’m not gonna win. But hey, go vote for my site as the Best Reality TV website at the Reality TV Awards (if I had the link handy I’d give it to you. This shows my complete lack of interest in this award).

I have been watching Bachelor/Bachelorette since Trista and have been reading your spoilers since…i can’t even remember when…always? I do know you were wrong just a few times and wanted to know what happened during those times? Like why did you think Kaitlyn didn’t choose either (i know you later fixed this spoiler to her choosing Shawn) and I can’t even remember the bachelor at the time, maybe Brad? and you had him choosing the brunette (can’t remember her name) and he chose Emily Maynard instead. I’m NOT trying to point out the fact that you’ve been wrong, just wondering if it was just the wrong information given by others or what?

THANK YOU for all your spoilers! It really helps my anxiety

Comment: First off, I have been spoiling since 2009, which was Jason Mesnick’s season. That’s the first spoiler I had.

As for the ones I’ve been wrong, every one of them is a different story. I can’t get into them without giving away a source. Maybe one day I’ll tell about the ones that I did get wrong and what happened, but honestly, there’s a couple that I still don’t know what happened. The longer we are removed from it, the less I remember about it.

Just a clarification for a question I’ve seen pop up a few times over the weeks Temptation Island has been on…

previous reader email: My question is actually about Temptation Island. I’m from Canada is there a network here that plays it or streaming app? I was hoping maybe you could find out? Can you guys not watch it on Hulu?”

It’s only on Hulu if you have Hulu with Live TV. If you pay for the regular Hulu at $7.99 or $11.99/mo, it’s not available. Same goes for many other shows like Real Housewives. They’re available on Live Hulu as they air, but the entire season doesn’t appear for other Hulu customers until before the next season begins. I’ve been able to watch on the USA app on my Roku, but you need to login with someone’s cable provider credentials to view any episodes.

Hope that helps!

Comment: There you go everyone. I also remember getting an email this week from someone in Canada who says they watch on CTV2? Or maybe it was E!?

Hey Steve,

Not sure if there is an application fee for Bach, but if there isn’t already, do you think the franchise would ever consider tagging on a hefty dollar amount to weed out all the people from coming on just to get famous? I’m talking about a dollar amount with a comma in it LOL. I know they probably don’t care and are just looking for good tv, and some would pay anything to get noticed, but it would be interesting if they ever did.

Comment: No, you already said it. They don’t care.

Hi Stevie-Wonder!

Do you know how I can get the salmon casserole recipe Colton and Tayshia made at his apartment? Yes. The website is

Do you think Tayshia is a good candidate for B-ette since she would probably funnel in a group of studly black guys, making it easier to feature a black Bachelor? She’s pretty and lively, and I think even more appealing than Rachel was. Or did she go back to her old BF already? Tayshia will be on Paradise, you can pretty much bank on that.

Did you invent the ITM term or is it used by production? It’s a TV term used by production. “Confessionals” is another term they use.

When you are out and about at home, are you a) frequently – b) sometimes – c) never accosted with screams-n-giggles by fans who recognize you? Do you give autographs? Or do you prowl the streets of Frisco blending in with the locals wearing a b-ball cap and shades and pretending you’re not a celeb?

Comment: C) never. And I like it much better that way.

Hi Steve!

This is not Bachelor related, instead it is Beverly Hills 90210 related. Like you, I am very excited about the reboot happening this summer, which I saw you tweet about earlier this week. In honor of that, I have a couple questions for you about the original show just because I’m curious:

1. Who was your all-time favorite couple of ANY of the couples that existed during the 10 seasons the show aired?

2. If you had to choose, who did you prefer Dylan with? Brenda or Kelly? And if Luke Perry does return for the reboot in some capacity (considering he does recover from his recent stroke) and Shannen Doherty also returns, which of those girls would you like to see him end up with?

3. Who was your overall favorite character on the show and why?

As always, thanks for all the spoilers and for always doing your job so well!

Comment: These are all questions I will answer when I do the podcast with Tara Ariano and Sarah D. Bunting from the “Again with This” podcast coming soon.

Hi Steve,

So I’m mindlessly scrolling thru Instagram stories and I notice that Gronk (the football player) popped up on Shawn Booth’s story. Well it just so happened that Shawn Booth, Gronk and his gf Camille Kostek and Eric and Jesse James Decker were all on vacation together. I mean at least that’s what it looked like. I guess Shawn could have just run into them there ????? Anyway this caught my attention because it is well known that Jason Tartick is good friends with Gronk. Like they have known each other since they were kids. I just thought it was a little weird since Shawn is Kaitlyn’s ex and he is vacationing with Kaitlyn’s new bf’s good friend. I don’t really have a question I just wanted to tell someone about this and maybe get your thoughts.

Thanks for the spoilers, also love the podcast!

Comment: I have no thoughts because I don’t know what thoughts there are to have.

Hi RS. I’ve never written in for Reader Emails, so I have no idea of the timing. For some reason though listening to a couple of your recent podcast guests, I had so many thoughts come up so I figured I’d send them over.

On your podcast with Emma, you guys got into the whole concept of asking a father’s permission to propose. Sharleen also got into this quite a bit in her recaps. I just wanted to offer a different perspective on it. I am a very independent female, in my 30’s, who grew up in liberal Seattle, so I understand where they’re coming from when they say that it’s antiquated offensive. However, my husband spoke to my father before proposing and I was glad he did. I find it to be a nice gesture if nothing else. For the most part, a father has a unique relationship with their daughter. They will always be his little girl, someone that he is protective over. To me when the man asks for a father’s blessing (which I much prefer that term over ‘permission’), he is more doing it to have a conversation and let the father know that he will be good to his daughter and take care of her (emotionally, not necessarily financially). While the origins of this tradition may be very antiquated, I still see value in that conversation taking place. It’s a way for the man to show that he respects the father and the daughter. And let’s be real, the majority of women will make their own decision on if that man is who they want to spend their lives with, regardless of what their father says. If they are on the fence, maybe they can be swayed by a family member, but if they are certain this is the person they love, nobody is going to tell them they can’t marry him. I just don’t see why so many people are up in arms about this topic. Maybe it’s just the approach that Colton took which was pretty painful to watch. There is no right or wrong to this. To some people it’s antiquated. To some, it shows respect. Doesn’t mean if you don’t do it, you’re disrespecting them. And it doesn’t mean if you do do it, that you’re a superior being. Different strokes for different folks.

Jumping to the Amy podcast, I definitely related to her as someone who is in my 30’s and has been watching the show for a long time and am reaching a point where it’s becoming harder and harder to watch. Like Amy, I actually used to find myself rooting for the couples (don’t worry, even going way back I was never one of those people that actually thought the show was a fairy tale, true love story, but I still found myself getting into it at times as silly as it is). That being said, while I think that our age has a big part in why we may be getting bored/annoyed with the show, I think it also has to do with tweaks they’ve made in the formula. Yes, it’s hard to watch 22-23 year olds all the time and actually relate to them. But as you’ve pointed out, that’s nothing new. I just think that in the past they actually made it a point to look for more accomplished, interesting people. If you were a doctor, lawyer, etc. and you were attractive, you were a shoe in for this show. I’ll interject here. VERY FEW doctors and lawyers have been on this show. Like, probably less than 2%. So I wouldn’t say were force fed a bunch of doctors and lawyers in the past and now it’s all just influencers. You had the occasional one back then, but they were still always very, very rare. Now days 75% of the cast is comprised of models and personal trainers. There is very little depth to the people they cast (and even if those people had depth, we aren’t shown it anymore). They’ve always focused on the drama of course, but they used to at least sprinkle in real conversations, jokes, etc. Now they find one dramatic storyline and stretch it as thin as it can go, eating up the majority of the episodes. We’re rarely shown personality anymore. Here and there you’ve asked your guests if they could change the show, what they would do. I know they would never drastically change the format of the show, but I feel like even those small tweaks would make it so much more bearable. Raise the average age to at least 25-27 and show just a little more of the contestants real conversations and personality. You know that they have that footage but that it just ends up on the cutting room floor.

Ok, last thought because I know this email is already super long. When it comes to Tayshia, everyone seems to be focusing on and debating over the whole pre-show boyfriend thing. Is it that bad, a lot of people end relationships right before they come on the show, etc. What people seem to be forgetting is that it isn’t just a matter of ending a relationship to come on the show. The casting process is usually somewhat long. So she was in a serious relationship with this guy while she was going through the whole process to get cast on the show. That to me is a whole different animal.

That’s all for now!

Comment: Agree with the last point. Tayshia did what plenty of other contestants before her have done and will do in the future. And just like them, it’s a horrible look. That’s all I’m calling her out for.

Hi Steve!

I’m apologizing in advance because I have a lot of questions.

I didn’t know that they do filming post show until last week with the whole Bird Box thing. Why is that? I can only imagine how incredibly awkward that would be for everyone who didn’t end up with the lead. But obviously they don’t do it for the comfort of their cast, so why do they do it? Plenty of reasons. Sound didn’t take in the moment and they didn’t realize until they listened back, continuity issues, storyline updates, etc.

Recently Chad Johnson said that Jojo and Jordan met before the show. Jojo and Jordan previously denied that they met before the show, and I personally believe them because, well, it’s Chad. Anyway, Chad said that it was obvious because when Jordan stepped out of the limo he said “It’s nice to meet you finally”. Do you think that this is just Chad playing detective, and maybe wanting their to be a reason why Jordan was the front runner other than the fact that she liked him the most? Or do you think it’s just him crying for attention? The second you said “Chad Johnson” I tuned out. The guy has issues so I don’t put any stock into anything he says.

If Ashley and Jared get married, will you get them a gift since they technically weren’t a final couple from any of the shows? No. Only do it with the Bachelor/ette franchise, not Paradise.

Who were your favorite leads from both shows? Not sure. Get back to me in 25 years. I may have an answer then.

Are there any contestants that made it far in the show that you wouldn’t want to have on your podcasts? Or leads for that matter? I’d have just about anyone on. But there are some who’d never do it. I’m fine with that. I don’t write my column so people will come on my podcast. If I want you on, I’ll ask. If I don’t, I won’t. But I’m not being careful about what I say for fear someone might not come on the podcast. Would never do that.

I know that an overwhelming majority of bachelor nation is incredibly gullible, but I was thoroughly shocked by the amount of people that actually believed that Khloe, Kris, and Fleiss were talking bachelorette. That would literally never happen, and yet so many people fell for it. And are still falling for it! I’m sure you’ve heard the conspiracy theories. Anyway, I didn’t really have a question there I guess. Sorry. So was I.

Have there been any couples that ended up getting married that surprised you? (besides Arie and Lauren of course) I was surprised at Sean and Catherine. Not anymore, but at the time of their engagement, yeah.

Last question, do you think that the shows will outlive Chris Harrison or the other way around?

Sorry for all the questions. Thanks for all you, keep up the good work!

Comment: I think when the show ends, that’s when Chris will be done. As long as this show is on the air, he will be the host.

I’m hoping we’ll soon learn what tipped the balance for Elan and his baby. The timing of his departure is what’s most intriguing, given how this season has gone. For example, what was his view of Colton walking out, of Colton’s choices, of Cassie’s rejection, and of the general awfulness of this season? I’m a retired journalist, and my bs meter is running full tilt with this. I could be way off base, but I feel pretty certain that there’s tea to be spilled. Elan didn’t leave until after Colton’s season was done filming. He worked on this season.

I also wanted to say that your backstory is pretty interesting. You’ve forced yourself into a critical role in the advancement of a reality show, and while time and chance have played their typical roles, you are the one who pressed the vision. I’m curious about what event was your turning point in moving Reality Steve from hobby to business. When did you “know” that the path was open? How often do you wake up and pinch yourself as a reminder of the role you’ve created for yourself? Have you reached the place where you think of yourself as on the same cultural level as reality TV “stars?”

And, thank you again for providing so much entertainment for me.

Comment: Great question. Probably when my webmaster came to me and said I should be making money off the site. This was Jan 2010. I knew you could make money on the internet, I just had no clue how. My site was blowing up and I knew nothing about servers either. It kept shutting down because I had a mini server and tons of traffic. So he came along and changed all that. That’s when we first put ads on the site, and it’s just built since then.

On the same cultural level as the contestants on this show? No way. Nor would I want to be. I know who I am. I’m 15 years older than most of these people. I don’t have the same goals and career paths as these people do. I know my role, and I feel I do it well. I’ve done the same thing for 16 years. I make fun of the show, I spoil, I tell you what’s going on behind the scenes, and will spread any dirt that I know to be true. Wash, rinse, repeat every season.



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