Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Joey Jones Exes Speak Out

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve!

I’m so glad your ending has Hannah with Cameron because I am really hoping Peter the Pilot is our next Bach 🙂 And I’m really liking Hannah as the Bachelorette so far. She’s been pretty well spoken and I love all her truth serum about men and what women deserve (I could do without the Demi scenes though).

I just finished watching the scene when Hannah confronts Cam about his “pity rose” story. Something doesn’t feel right. The guy may be annoying as hell, but he doesn’t really come across to me as someone who isn’t genuine. He’s like one of those “play by the books” follow the rules, kind of guy. He was probably the kid in middle school who told on you if you started your timed test before the teacher said go. He’s just *that guy*. And so, yea he likes to interrupt other guys’ time with Hannah (c’mo we know producers egged him on too), but he doesn’t really seem to have the social awareness that his antics are odd in a group setting or on a show like this. I think the link provided in yesterday’s column, along with the grotesque picture of how bad his leg got, pretty much shows the guy wasn’t lying about his story. But as I said, when we saw him telling the story, we kept seeing it with cuts of the guys talking about him, so the story we heard was the leg, his grandma dying, and having to give the dog up. It was totally convoluted and made no sense because of the editing. If I didn’t know how editing worked, I would’ve thought, “Ok, but this story isn’t nearly as important as he made it out to be.” We know now it was.

I didn’t quite get why he thought his leg amputee story was something that was going to make Hannah want to eliminate him as he had alluded to the guys. He made it seem like he had something so horrific to tell her that she wouldn’t be able to keep him around because of the horrible thing in his past. That part was strange. But, when Hannah confronted him about their 1-on-1 time the way this convo went he kind of came across flabbergasted. (Remember the guy from night one who was eliminated because he had a gf back home, well you knew he was lying and a piece of shit just by the way he reacted to Hannah confronting him. Compare him to Cam and you can see Cam hadn’t calculated and concocted a damn thing. He’s just weird!) I don’t even think he has the mental capacity to try to manipulate a women in that way. He’s just really corny, not manipulative. He said it affected two past relationships, so, I guess only he knows the answer as to why that is. But if it’s ended two past ones, yeah, I’d say it’s fairly important to get it out there immediately in your new one.

Though I wouldn’t have done this, I also don’t see anything wrong with Cam writing letters to the guys because he thought he was going to go home that day. (Once again, remember the kid in middle school who would tattle to the teacher? He probably also wrote letters.) In fact, writing “letters” is the only weird thing about this bit of info, because leaving the guys he clicked with just his personal info would’ve been fine. But thinking you’re going to go home because your gut tells you this girl isn’t that in to you is not wrong. As much as I didn’t like Cam interrupting Mike on his 1-on-1 time on the group date, he probably was trying to tell her his “pity story” then as it’s a part of who he is. And he didn’t get a chance to then so the only chance he had was the cocktail/tailgate party, clearly. Not really a calculated maneuver just a matter of logistics.

That said, I’m not a Cam fan by any means. He wasn’t right for Hannah, he’s a bit annoying and I’m sure we’ll see him on BIP because he’ll rub someone the wrong way there too. I just wanted to point out that this was obviously a contrived storyline and whatever Mike told Hannah at the tailgate party was a little bit twisted of the truth. I kind of feel bad for Cam, he’s probably a good guy but just lacks some social skills. He’s probably always had a tough time making friends and that makes me feel for him.

Can’t wait to see how the season unfolds (Hannah really needs to follow her gut on Luke P, letting him get to final four is too much!).

Comment: Yeah, Cam certainly made his fair share of mistakes in three episodes. Without a doubt. I don’t think anyone’s disputing that. But Mike’s seemingly flat out lie that Cam said he was after a pity rose was a head scratcher, because that’s not at all what we saw Cam tell the guys why he needed to talk to her. Seems like it was Mike’s opinion Cam was after a pity rose, but Mike didn’t state it as an opinion, he stated it as fact. And that was wrong.
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Hi Steve,

It is obvious that Luke Parker isn’t a nice guy. Why does Hannah keep him around so long?

Comment: Because she wants to become a CrossFit trainer one day and compete at the CrossFit games where she does 523 kip ups in a minute.
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Hi Steve,

First time writing in. I completely agree with your recommendation to Luke P of how he should respond to his actions this season and that he will need to apologize. However, I noticed you recommended he make that apology at MTA. Since no one is eliminated at hometowns, will he even be at MTA or will the final four all be MIA from that episode? I know it’s probably too early to tell since MTA is a few weeks away from filming but curious to get your thoughts there. If all four are missing from MTA, will they bring them out at ATFR? Seems like that would make ATFR a lot longer or that they’d have to cut a lot of other footage usually aired in order to make time for him and Hannah to speak in addition to her closure conversations with first and second runner up.

Thanks for all your interesting analysis!

Comment: We know that everyone but the final 2 go to the Tell All episode, so I don’t see why Luke P and Peter wouldn’t be there. But because she takes 4 to overnights, maybe they change it up this year? I don’t know. But normally the #4 and #3 guy are at the Tell All, so that wouldn’t change anything if they keep the schedule since Luke and Peter technically go home the same episode.
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Hey Steve! This isn’t really a reader email or question, more just a “fun-fact” since I know you like sports (and because this has to do with Bama football). I have always been a Bama football hater for all the reasons you listed in your column (backhanded deals, players who aren’t really “students” or even affiliated with the school at all— I mean it’s basically a professional team so let’s just call them “The Tuscaloosa Tide” and stop pretending like they are a college team). However, when Derrick Henry (RB, heisman 2015 winner from Bama) was drafted by the TN Titans, he didn’t show up for the 2016 “voluntary” spring training. Several coaches and players from the Titans were interviewed saying that it wasn’t a very good look for a new/rookie player to not show up for the voluntary workouts. Come to find out, the reason he wasn’t at the voluntary spring trainings was because he was down in Bama taking classes to complete his degree. That gave me a whole new respect for him— how cool that a first-round draft pick thought outside of the 5-10 years (if that) that he’ll play in the NFL. The coaches and players who had kind of dogged him for not being at the Spring workouts had to backtrack when they found out why. I’m still not a Bama fan but I am a Titans fan and that story warmed my heart.

Comment: He is certainly the exception and not the norm.
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Hi Steve,

I rarely email you, and I don’t actually have a question, but since you said you were light on reader emails this week, I thought I’d write. Your advice for Luke P. and what he should say on the MTA was spot on. I hope he reads your site and heeds your free advice. You could have a second gig as a publicist/PR person for some of these contestants! Keep up the great work!

Comment: If you look on page 1, you can see his IG post from yesterday about an hour after my column went up. I have no idea if he read it and that’s why he did it or what, but based on what he wrote, he’s off to a good start.

But lets always remember, these guys (and women) it’s just words until their actions change. James Taylor is a perfect example of that, and you even heard me say it in my podcast with him. Like, he said all the right things and explained himself to make it seem like he was gonna change his ways, but even then I told him he can say all he wants, but if he goes back to acting the same way he was, the whole interview becomes a moot point basically. And he did. It’s the most cliched phrase when it comes to relationships, but it’s true: “Actions speak louder than words.” Right now, we’re getting Luke’s words. He just needs to back it up over these next few months, not respond to IG trolls and negative comments, lay low, and just accept what he did and realize how he’s coming across. One added bonus he could do? Be self-depricating. Make fun of what you did and realize your mistake. Never hurts.
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Hi Steve,

I have a question about editing. Since the actual filming and premiere dates are so close, is the editing done while the show is ongoing? Also, do they change the edit of contestants by how the audience (social media) likes/dislikes them?

Thank you!

Comment: Yes. They’re always editing while the show is airing. I don’t necessarily think they change it because of the audience. They have their characters and those edits (along with what the contestants give them) create them. I think the edit determines, or at least plays a major role, in whether or not the masses like/dislike them. Take the Cam/Mike situation as a perfect example. People already like Mike, so they aren’t nearly as harsh on him for lying about Cam to Hannah. But because Cam has gotten this “annoying, always interrupting guy” edit, it’s much easier for fans to turn on him. Be objective, and clearly many people aren’t when it comes to Mike because they chose to like him already in the first two episodes, so in their mind, he can do no wrong.
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Hey Steve,

Love your column and podcasts! Thanks for the humor and snark and sarcasm, you and I could be friends in the real world (in my head, we already are friends).

A few thoughts on this season so far:

– Is it me or is this group of men particularly dumb? Maybe I’m being unfair, or maybe I’m just of a particular age that doesn’t understand this generation (I’m 42), but with the exception of Pilot Pete and Mike, they all SOUND so obtuse. Why does Connor S. draw out his vowels like a Kardashian? It was driving me insane during their date. Do young people really talk that way? Tyler C is another one who I find insufferable – loves himself A LOT, zero voice inflection, kind of stoned-looking all the time. Almost like he thinks he’s too cool for school. And Jed, seemingly a nice enough guy, but zero personality. He’s tough to listen to. I give him props for knowing basic sex ed during the group date, but he lacks the personality that a lead needs (in my opinion)…..Maybe some just don’t have emotional intelligence. I can’t speak on their IQ’s.

– …which leads me to Pilot Pete. I think he’s a shoe-in for the next Bachelor. He gives me major Ben Higgins vibes (the Golden Boy of the franchise) and is getting a great edit. I know it’s too early to predict but I’m predicting. He seems to be a fan favorite for it as of now. Certainly in the running. But the show isn’t even thinking about “Bachelor” yet. So much more TV that has to play out.

– Can we address ABC’s outfit during the evening part of that group date? Hooded sweatshirt, blazer, pocket square??? What the literal hell was that? Am I missing something? Does anyone wear a normal, classic suit anymore? Or socks? I’m so confused. I didn’t get it either. But then again, I didn’t really care for Wills’ man rompers last season, yet because people liked him, he was considered fashion forward. So what the hell do I know?

No real question, I suppose. Just curious to hear your thoughts. And if it’s just that I’m old and don’t understand what the young kids are up to these days, well, so be it. At least there is no video or social media evidence of my formative/college years, so I guess I have that going for me.

Comment: I think ALL of us who grew up in the 80’s and 90’s are thankful social media wasn’t around back then.
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Steve,

Hannah is the absolute best. I mean she could not be more fun, quirky, or real and that is what is making this season so good to me. It isn’t the same old same old like past seasons. What are your thoughts? She’s definitely brought a different vibe than we’ve seen from most past women leads. I like her. I think she’ll say some dumb stuff this season and probably some stuff I disagree with, but, I think that’s what makes her more relatable than others.

ABC is clearly trying to change things up with Demi the “spy”. It seems desperate on their part to try and keep viewers or “freshen up” the show. BUT it’s something different so I guess that’s nice? Eh. It was two quick appearances. Thank God she’s done. At least on this show. Get ready for Paradise though since I’m sure it’ll be camera hogging Demi again searching for every possible one liner she can think of in her ITM’s. Lets see how many times she calls people bitches in Paradise. What’s the over/under set at right now? 20? 30?

Luke P. – he is so desperate. It honestly doesn’t surprise me that he would call her out about her not being a virgin later on or her wanting to sleep with some of the other guys in the fantasy suite. (if that’s what that later preview is all about). Did he not watch past seasons? What did he think this was going to be like? Do YOU think he’s totally fake? Here is what I think. We see him tell Hannah he thinks he’s falling in love with her in the second episode. Then last night he talks about leaving and the fact that he’s not in love with her. He says all this last night just after she had a “come to Jesus” meeting with him to let him know she didn’t like some of his behavior. What I see is a very insecure man who would rather run away before facing rejection and having his ego bruised. That sort of man is not ready for a serious relationship let alone engagement. The language he used in his instagram post to defend his actions last night also make me wonder if he really has taken a hard look in the mirror….

From what you say I’m sure we’ll see lots more of this in upcoming episodes. One last thing-he CREEPED me out when Connor sat down and Luke asked what she was wearing on their one-on-one when he went to her hotel room. Like, no thank you Mr. CREEP. Tell me how you really feel about Luke.

Also Tyler G?! Completely missed that part entirely. Like, I must’ve blinked or something because I didn’t’ even know that happened until a girl in the group message I’m apart of brought it up.

PARADISE HOTEL Question:

Not sure if you’ve commented on this or not so if you have, sorry for being repetitive.

I just found out that Paradise Hotel on Fox was cancelled. I am so disappointed about this! What are your thoughts? I felt like they were cutting edge with having the audience join in voting sessions on live TV and it was so much more than the regular BIP stuff we see. That was my first concern before watching it, that the format would be too much like BIP for it to take off, but it’s so different. Did you think it was successfully or had the ability to be? Can we start a petition to keep it on?!

Comment: It wasn’t cancelled to where it’s never being shown again. It was set to air every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday through the first week of June. They cancelled the Monday & Wednesday episodes last week, this week, and next week. So there’s a 2 hour episode tomorrow, and a 2 hour finale next Thursday. Then it’s over.

The problem I saw with it, as with any dating show that’s tried to start up and ultimately failed, is that we had no idea who any of these people were coming in. On Paradise, we know everyone because we’ve seen them on the “Bachelor/ette,” they’re followed on social media by tons of people, etc. In this day and age, you need to grab audiences quick, or they disappear. It’s just so hard to get invested in a bunch of people you don’t know. With that said, I’ll for sure watch the final two episodes because I wanna see how it turns out. I still don’t know how they even get down to the final couple. Any day now someone from the show can explain, please.
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Hey Steve!

Long time reader, first time emailer. LOVE your recaps and spoilers. It’s your sense of humor that gets me through each season.

I hate that Cam is getting a poor edit. I get that he’s choosing to listen to producers (and does some annoying things), but still it’s a shame that they did what they did last night. It definitely seemed like they twisted his intentions. I was under the impression that he was writing letters because he thought maybe Hannah couldn’t deal being with someone who has that type of health issue, not because he wanted a pity rose. It seemed to me he thought she would send him home after the conversation, not give him a rose because of it.

Thanks so much for all your hard work! I so appreciate your willingness to share the spoilers and owning up to it if you’re ever wrong. Wouldn’t watch the show if you weren’t around spoiling! I hope you have a great birthday! I too love Olive Garden!

Comment: If you didn’t love Olive Garden, I probably wouldn’t speak to you ever again. So that’s a good thing. Yes, Cam made mistakes this season absolutely. But he got screwed on the tailgate party edit.

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8 Comments

8 Comments

  1. tinyred500

    May 29, 2019 at 9:26 AM

    Regarding the reader email about recent suicides of contestants appearing on reality programmes in the UK (and Australia). Sadly, this is horribly true. There was a documentary on a few nights ago about them. It delved into the truly horrid practices and techniques used behind the scenes on contestants during filming (some of which aren’t too dissimilar to those used within the Bachelor franchise). It also mentioned the lack of dutiful before/after care and assistance offered to those contestants. I have no idea how (legally) these creators and producers get away with it. 🙁

  2. meredith1972

    May 29, 2019 at 9:39 AM

    I think Luke’s psychological testing – given to all contestants – revealed the trait of possessiveness which the producers manipulated to the hilt by suggesting that he say and do certain things. Editing tricks added resulted in bizarre behavior which I think is most probably not really the way he is in life.
    Contestants who see how they have been edited and shown, and then begin to apologize instead of retaliating offensively cause me to surely believe the things we have heard about reality shows are mostly true.

  3. corn29

    May 29, 2019 at 11:46 AM

    > I think is most probably not really the way he is in life

    Curious; how so?

    Let’s just say Luke is getting a “bad edit”… did the producers make Luke say “I’m letting you develop other relationships”? Did the producers make Luke say, “let me walk you to your dressing room”?

    Edit or not, Luke isn’t doing himself any favors with the words which are coming out of his own mouth.

  4. tinyred500

    May 29, 2019 at 12:57 PM

    @corn29, This is where it gets tricky to explain or show/prove. I think in each series there are contestants who are easily manipulated into showing their worst side or their weaknesses and worst traits. So, it could be said, yes they did say it and this who they are as people in real life as well. However, put in an environment without family, friends, and generally normal things, coupled with sleep deprivation and booze, brings out their worst traits and their weaknesses as individuals. Some contestants are simply very vulnerable, again, they are an easy target for the producers to manipulate. If you look over each series you can generally tell who these contestants are. Each season there are stand out (a mixture of contestants, e.g., vulnerable and ones with more deep rooted issues), and I’m not talking about the ones who go in with a plan on how they want to represent themselves either, e.g Demi and Corrine. A lot of the stand out (for the wrong reasons) contestants have no clue how they are coming across or how they will be edited. I’m sure some lack self-awareness and/or have a low emotional intelligence, it makes them ripe for producers to work with. These contestants are picked for specific characters (as it were) sometimes. So Luke is likely to be such an individual who this relates to this series.

  5. Nahu

    May 29, 2019 at 5:46 PM

    @corn29 No. He never said he was letting HANNAH develop other relationships. He said:
    “And here I am, letting OTHER GUYS develop a stronger connection, a stronger relationship with you.”

    My interpretation of what he said: I feel like we don’t have the strongest relationship anymore and it bothers me because I think we’re perfect for each other.

  6. corn29

    May 30, 2019 at 11:42 AM

    > And here I am, letting OTHER GUYS develop a stronger connection

    Regardless if Luke said “I’m letting you…” *or* “I’m letting other guys…”

    Who the heck does Luke think he is ahem, “let” other people do stuff?

    Hint: it’s not up to Luke… but that’s what people with personality disorders do — they are controlling, they make it all about themselves without regard to others.

  7. mariet

    June 1, 2019 at 6:14 PM

    Joey, Ashley, Melanie. Really Steve? Who cares? No one except you for whatever reason. Good Lord!

  8. tinyred500

    June 2, 2019 at 6:33 AM

    I agree. Although I’m not condoning their behaviour (and I’m sure there’s always been contestants who have done this), this just seems like muckraking etc., to me.

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