-Lets move on to last night’s show. Every season there’s at least one episode that’s kind of a throw away episode. Not a whole hell of a lot happens, there isn’t much relationship advancement, and they spend a hell of a lot of time focusing on one particularly storyline. Last night was that episode. It was the JPJ and Tahzjuan show, with a little Haley thrown in. But mostly JPJ doing JPJ things, and Tahzjuan losing her mind. I don’t know how someone like that can watch back last night’s episode and not want to go crawl in a hole for about a week. Does she not have any self-awareness? Like, really? How can she do and say the things she did last night and not realize how horribly that was gonna come off on TV? Or hell, maybe she doesn’t care. I don’t know. But that was brutal to watch.
-Did we see anything in the Demi/Kristian relationship besides one mini talk on the could where Kristian thought she was flirting with JPJ? No. Did Dylan or Hannah even have one ITM last night? No. I think you can make an argument that while Mike and Sydney were down in Mexico, you could probably convince me those were androids put down there to look like Mike and Sydney and I’d believe you. Another “couple” that got zero air time. Clay and Nicole? Nothing. What a bizarre episode last night. That’s four couples that really got nothing of value shown about them last night. All last week, Demi and Kristian dominated the storylines. Demi did 1700 podcasts and interviews, sat in on GMA, and was the spokesperson for same sex couples. A week later, we get a 2 min conversation of them on the bed where Kristian seems bothered Demi might be flirting with JPJ only to realize she wasn’t, and the issue was squashed in 10 seconds. So lets break down the couples we did see have issues last night:
JPJ/Tahzjuan/Haley
I think I was losing brain cells watching JPJ and Tahzjuan on their date. Can anyone explain to me what the hell was going on? Were they communicating? Were they fighting? Were they speaking in code? Like, I can’t even describe the date because I’m still not sure what I watched. What I do know is that Tahz literally went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs last night and I’m not sure why. Oh sure, they made it seem like it was because she was bothered JPJ went on a date with Haley when she showed up, but c’mon. There’s no way that was real, right? Tahz went on one date with the guy, and it was the most bizarre thing we’ve watched this season. She couldn’t possibly have been that upset he went on a date the next day. And if you’re a contestant on this show and ever want to ask yourself, “Are the producers your friends,” look no further than last night’s episode for your answer of a big, fat no. You don’t think a producer was rubbing her hands together producing Tahz down there? Of course they were.
Once Haley came in, it was clear that Tahz’s days were numbered in Mexico since JPJ was all over Haley like a cheap suit from the second they got down the beach. If I didn’t know any better, I thought JPJ was giving Haley a colonoscopy on the beach. Jesus. Imagine if they conveniently had Tahz walk by while JPJ’s arm was halfway up Haley’s rectum? Pretty sure Tahz may have blown a gasket if she saw that. In fact, I’m shocked they didn’t set that up. Hell, they set her up for everything else in that episode, might as well add that one. Either way, once that date was over, then JPJ/Haley/Tahz were back at the bar, that’s when the lunacy started in. If someone can explain the pigeon and seagull talk to me, that’d be great. What a flat out shit show that whole storyline was last night and I hope for Tahz’s sake she’s running as far away from this franchise as possible.
Dean & Caelynn
Well, it was Caelynn’s birthday on the night of the rose ceremony, but Demi made sure to plant the seed in her head that no matter how much Dean sweet talks her, remember his reputation and don’t get sucked in. So what did Caelynn do? She got sucked in. Caelynn is catching all the feels from probably the one guy in the franchise you don’t wanna catch any feels from. Go ask DLo and Kristina how that turned out for them. But nonetheless, after the Demi talk, Caelynn figures she should have the “where do we stand” talk with Dean. And Dean gives her the best Dean answer he could. “Having fun with you here…not interested in dating anyone else…I suck at dating…this is probably going nowhere once we’re outta here.” This makes Caelynn sad, she actually thought SHE was the one Dean truly wanted, and now tonight, Dean will leave her high and dry after giving her the rose last night. At least temporarily.
