Hi Steve,
I look forward to reading your columns every week! Thanks for all your insights. A few questions for you —
1. Would you have expected Tyler Smith (Granger Smith’s little brother) to last longer in the show? Just because he is related to a famous musician (just like Jordan Rodgers to Aaron Rodgers)? I would have thought that producers would have encouraged her to keep him — for Tayshia or simply because he’s related to someone famous. Seems like they could have found a storyline there. Any thoughts? Not really. I don’t see why they would’ve.
2. How do you think Matt James would have fared on her season or even changed the trajectory? I assumed they cast Tyler Cameron’s best friend friend knowing (hoping?) that he would be around a while/make some waves. Glad he’s the bachelor though! Matt would’ve lasted a while if they started filming in March. I think they already had it in their head he was gonna be Bachelor.
3. On the group date Clare didn’t hand out the group date rose because she said she didn’t get enough from the guys or something. Do you think that was her choice or the producers told her not to — knowing that if she did give a group date rose, they would have to show her talking to one of the men about someone/something other than Dale? Impossible to really know. But I gotta believe they absolutely had a hand in her not passing out that rose. Because they could’ve made her if they wanted to.
4. What did you think about Clare taking Dale back to her hotel room? I assume she was told/encouraged by producers to take him there to talk — or do you think she’s really flouting the norms of the show that much?
Thanks so much!!
Comment: I’m sure they already knew at that point where this was headed so it didn’t really matter. She was gone and Tayshia was set to come in.
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There is a thin line between drama and abuse and I think the Bachelor has crossed it. The verbal abuse from Yosef was horrific as was the physical abuse from Zach J. Both are unacceptable. Just seeing Clare alone with her two dogs crying ? was awful. Where was the therapist or even Chris Harrison? Only the camera man? That kind of trauma is not okay to inflict on someone without any support.
I am blown away that someone who is a survivor of an abusive relationship, or anyone for that matter, would have to deal with men like that. On top of all of the trauma on the show, Clare has had to deal with all of this vitriol from Bachelor Nation. I hope her relationship with Dale is worth it. Toxic Bachelor Nation.
They need to do more vetting of the men they cast. This is unacceptable. I guess you need your villains, but this has gone too far. Shame on you production.
Comment: Unfortunately that’ll go in one ear and out the other to them.
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Hey Steve!
Will there be any kind of men-tell-all this season via zoom or video calls from Chris Harrison where the guys can talk to one another about the season/ hash out any arguments?
If so will it have both Clare and Tayshia on it? Or will this week be the last time we see Clare before the transition to Tayshia?
Comment: Robert Mills and Chris Harrison have both said there will be a MTA this season, they just haven’t said how it’s being done. Or where.
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Hi Steve,
Long time reader, first time emailer, blah blah blah.
I had two questions for you:
1. I totally agree that the Tayshia thing was in the works for awhile, but I was wondering if part of why she was there so early is because they needed a backup plan in case Clare tested positive for COVID? It would help them avoid having to delay the process even more, and they seem to cover their asses whenever they can. It had nothing to do with COVID. Lets remember, Chris Harrison came to Clare’s door at La Quinta before filming even started to tell her she’s all clear and she’s the Bachelorette. So at that point, then saying you had Tayshia on standby for COVID really doesn’t make much sense.
2. I was wondering if you had any insight on why they chose Matt James over an established member of Bachelor Nation. I confess to being a fan of Mike Johnson, but there are several others that would have checked the box for a black male lead. Given how well it didn’t go when they chose Juan Pablo as a relatively unknown entity, I’m surprised they’d do it again.
Thanks for all you do!
Comment: First off, Toxic Bachelor Nation.
Well, for 25 or 27 consecutive seasons they’ve chosen someone who was already in the franchise. And Matt WAS set to be on Clare’s season and it’s not like fans don’t have a clue who he is. But you’re right, we didn’t get to see him on a previous season and now he’s the Bachelor. If he wasn’t Tyler Cameron’s friend would he be? Of course not. I think there was a ton of pressure to cast a black lead after all the heat they got this summer. It was no brainer they were going to cast one, and whaddya’ know, it’s announced during one of the most racially divisive summers this country has ever had. Go figure.
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Hi Steve,
Long time reader, first time writing in. First of all, with Tayshia being introduced soon I’m assuming they will look back at her time on The Bachelor. Since she was on Colton’s season, do you think she or ABC will finally acknowledge Colton’s abusive and problematic behaviour? I believe Chris has very vaguely addressed it in an interview but did not take a hard stance. Zero chance that happens. If they wanted to comment on Colton, they would’ve by now.
Secondly, I actually got into a disagreement with a friend who I discuss the Bachelorette with over Zach J. She thought the situation made Clare looked awful and I thought she had every right to get herself out of there since he was grabbing at her neck, and not interact with him any further (ie having Chris eliminate him). She obviously felt unsafe. The fact that she initiated the kiss at first doesn’t matter and anyone who says it does, doesn’t properly understand the concept of consent. As a survivor, I felt triggered watching it. Do you think we will continue to see Zach J in bachelor nation? He clearly thinks he did nothing wrong.
Comment: I hope not. But I don’t put anything past this franchise.
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Hey Steve! I’m a long time reader but this is my first time interacting.
My question is…has anything like this Clare/Dale situation has happened in the past but just kept hidden by producers to make the season work? What I mean is, have other Bachelor or Bachelorette’s fallen in love early on with a CLEAR front runner but the lead just kept “faking” interest in other dates to keep suspense until the end?
Thanks! By the way, as usual, I agree with everything you’re saying.
Comment: Yes. You can ask most of the former leads. They’ll tell you “it was so-and-so early on,” but, they know they have a show to film so they just go along with it.
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Hi Steve!
Quick question- I really appreciate how the show is trying to diversify their cast, as well as their leads when it comes to the way people appear physically . But do they ever ask the lead what kind of person they are attracted to or what their type is? Would that contribute to their casting choices at all?
Comment: Yes, they ask what kind of women they like/date/are attracted to. But ultimately, it’s a television show and while they will cast a few that they think the lead would like, most are just there to fill a role.
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Hey Steve! Longtime reader and fan; Thanks for all you do!!
Hearing what you said about the situation with Eazy, my heart goes out to the woman involved and actually as soon as I read your column, I went to The Bachelorette IG Page and from what it looks like, they’ve removed him from all memes, pictures they’ve posted since the season started airing, etc. thankfully!!! But a couple questions for you: He’s still on ABC.com though as a contestant.
You may have answered this before, but do you know what the vetting process is to be cast on the shows or what background checks the show conducts on contestants? Because it definitely can’t be good if bad apples are continuously a part of the casts. I’ll say this about the Eazy situation. Pre-show this is nothing any background check would’ve pulled up. That’s why Ashley and I are specifically saying from this point forward since she spoke to their legal team two Friday’s ago. They have no excuses now.
Also, what do you think the possibility of Tayshia becoming Bachelorette again next year is, especially since she’s not getting a full season? I don’t see that happening.
Lastly, sort of a far-fetched question, but do you think you’d ever ask Clare and Dale to come on the podcast?
Thanks again!
Comment: Of course I’d want them to. Will they or can they is a completely different matter.
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Hi Steve,
Thank you so much for all you do and your efforts to bring as much as you can to light regarding The Bachelor and the real story. I have learned so much from your work. More a comment/observation but please feel free to share your thoughts if I am off the mark here.
While I agree with you that there is no room for hate in what should be entertainment, the woman in me is left scratching my head over some of the antics I am seeing.
A 39 year old should have some sense of social awareness and perception of how they are viewed. I thought I was watching a young teenager when she was fawning over Dale’s pants. You know there is a camera pointing right at you, is this the image of a strong powerful woman you are spouting yourself to be? Then I am going to give myself this group date rose…huh? People are talking bad about my fiance…huh? Can we just speed this up, thanks for coming…huh? Sorry but this isn’t her first time at the rodeo and she of all leads knows how ABC can get it twisted, why are you giving them any of this to use against you? I could go on but you get the picture. I’m sorry but if a Male lead did any if this it would be just as bad. Imagine Nick V doing the exact same things. In a vacuum, yes, those things don’t look great. But there’s more to what you saw. DeAnna’s comments showed the Dale pants thing in a completely different light. Everything else you mentioned had some clever editing behind it.
Just as you can see through another man’s facade, most females can see who and what Clare is and is not. You have a wonderful platform to promote and endorse strong, real caring females, (Sharleme Joynt and Ashley Spivey to name a few). Although Clare talks the talk she is coming across as immature and completely self centered with no clue on how to treat another human being in an equal manner. I can only hope she can use this to self reflect and can see herself in a true light. Again, it’s not that she is horrible, but learn to know yourself and show strength, fairness, compassion and dignity.
Steve please continue to advocate and support the true examples of great strong females, we really need them.
Congratulations, you and Kat are adorable.
Comment: I think that you are being too swayed by an edit.
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Hi Steve!
Thanks for your always entertaining coverage of all things Bachelor. ?
I believe you when you say producers planned for Tayshia to step in as The Bachelorette before this season started filming, So I’m trying to wrap my head around what that means for Clare. What would producers have done if she didn’t feel any chemistry when she met Dale in person? Would they have manipulated her into leaving early with someone else? Did your sources give you any insight into how much manipulation went into getting her to leave? These are all legitimate questions, but the best way to answer it is that it wasn’t really an option. They knew where Clare stood and it was not gonna be hard to get her to leave with Dale.
Also—and I say this as a Clare fan—if you were the guy she left with, and then you watched last night’s episode where it was all “Steve, Steve, Steve,” would that freak you out at all…like, give you any Fatal Attraction vibes? Just wondering how a guy would react to being so immediately adored.
Comment: I think there’s way more to it. I’m guessing Clare and Dale have had numerous talks since July when this all went down to where they know each other way more than an edit on TV.
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Hi! A few questions for ya this week-
1) Since Hannah B and Matt James are decent friends, do you think she will make some kind of appearance (virtually, I’d assume) to give advice? How about Tyler? Yes. Tyler has already been there. And as I posted today, Hannah arrived yesterday.
2) this one is random but I was thinking about it recently- do you still feel that arie would have broken up with Lauren for Becca if he had made the opposite decision on proposal day? Or have you changed your mind about him? I totally thought he would have done that too, but now I’m convinced him and Lauren are actually very well suited for each other. Especially since I know Becca wouldn’t be into this whole YouTube couple thing.
Thanks!!
Comment: Probably not since that’s who he’s ultimately with. He broke up with Becca because he wanted to be with Lauren. If he wanted to be with Lauren and had chosen her in the end, I don’t see why he would’ve broken up with her to be Becca.
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Hey Steve
I came across a TikTok from Eazy and it had over 500 comments and not one of them said anything about any allegations on it. Every comment was just about how much everyone loved him. How long do you think it will be until other news outlets run with the story and everyone turns on him when they find out the truth?
Comment: It’s been out almost a week and none have said anything. I highly doubt it’s gonna get any run. And that sucks.
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Hey Steve,
After watching last nights episode with Yosef and Zach, I think it’s important to talk about the impact trauma can have on forming new relationships. Yosef was being emotionally abusive to Clare when he was digging into her, and from what you said it was going on for twenty minutes. There was a point when Clare snapped (understandably) and was visibly shaking from the interaction. A “trigger” is going to cause someone with PTSD to go into a fight or flight mode. We saw Clare go into fight mode when she made Yosef leave. That is an insane amount of adrenaline going through her when it’s all said and done and I’m not surprised she needed to call the night off early.
What a lot of people don’t know is that it takes awhile for that fight or flight mode to calm down. Assuming the date with Zach was only a couple days later (or the next day?) Clare most likely was still on edge and in that trauma response (more reactive) from that abusive experience with Yosef. Obviously Clare has picked Dale at this point, and it probably was confusing for her to be in a situation where she was about to be kissing someone else. Even that situation could have been triggering if say her past abuser had jealousy issues.
Right after the failed kiss, You can clearly see Clare’s trauma response when she is moving away from Zach. She tried to deflect him with a nervous laugh but fails to move his hand away from her neck – this is when you can see panic in her eyes. She’s trying to make her response seem normal (she’s fighting off panicking), but Zach misunderstands and goes in again with the hands. At this point she has to leave the situation (the flight mode) as quickly as possible. Had she not been able to leave I think we would have seen a full blown panic attack.
PTSD is wildly misunderstood and I think regardless of Zach’s intentions, he needs to think about how he messed up royally in that situation. I feel awful that Clare is being ridiculed online for this.
Comment: I think one of the biggest misconceptions about the Clare/Zach interaction is her smiling and laughing as she’s moving away. That seemed to me to be a nervous laughter and not some sort of invitation she wanted to be pulled in for a kiss. So I agree with that assessment. It’s mind boggling to me that people cannot separate his motives from his actions. And if they can, they are STILL telling Clare how she’s supposed to feel in that situation.
