“Although we’ve come, to the ennnnnd of the road, still I caaaan’t let go, it’s unnatural…” As we all slow dance to this in 1993 at Grad Night, I guess you can say this still applies today. Tonight is the finale of officially the most different season this franchise has ever had. First time they ever had to film a season all in one location, first time they ever had to replace a Bachelorette mid season, first time not one picture got out of any date all season, etc. The list goes on. And then in a couple weeks, we run it back again as basically the same exact thing happens with Matt James season. Zero pictures got out of dates, a filming in one location all season, etc. And I’m guessing when the next “Bachelorette” season starts filming in March, we’re looking at the same thing. Speaking of which, I was told this weekend of a resort that they might be filming at for “Bachelorette” season come next March. And no, it’s not La Quinta or Nemacolin. The resort I was told was neither of those. Haven’t got it confirmed yet, but I will let you know as soon as I do. Looks legit, but I’m diving into it more to see if I can run with it sooner rather than later. Anyway, we’re back on schedule with our normal production when it comes to this show, so that’s at least some sense of normalcy that we get back.
There is no ATFR tonight, just a two hour episode on how Tayshia’s season will play out. I don’t even know if they’ll have a taped update on how things are going. You’ll know if they do if her final rose ceremony happens to end at 90 mins or 105 mins into the finale, since then they’ll have time on the back end to show filmed footage of what’s been going on since. If the end of the episode and the final rose ceremony happens at the end of the episode like it normally would, then know we’re not getting any taped update. Unless it’s really, really short.
So where does that leave us heading into tonight? Well, just know that ABC does not release their finale to screen to the media early. So no, I won’t be hearing about any spoilers heading into tonight that come directly from the episode. But for those wanting answers, here’s what I can tell you: It’s not Ivan and it’s not Ben. So what I reported at the beginning of the season was true. She chose Zac at the end. As for an engagement or where their relationship stands now. I said at the time there was no engagement and I didn’t know what their relationship status was now. I still don’t have a solid answer to that, but, I think after watching last night’s episode a few things are pretty clear: 1) it’s definitely Zac and 2) I’d be really shocked if she didn’t get engaged at the end of this thing. So that bit info was probably wrong. Tayshia has said the word husband and engaged so many times the last few episodes, it really makes no sense to get to the end and NOT have that. Hell, that’s only happened twice in the last almost 30 or so seasons – Juan Pablo and Colton’s. I just don’t see that happening here. So she definitely picked Zac and good chance they’re engaged. And if that’s the case, I highly doubt they’ve called off their engagement some time in the last 3 months. So if you’re asking me what I think happens tonight, there’s your answer. Picked Zac, engaged, and still engaged to this day. Just wish I could’ve been more confident all season to have been telling you that.
That’s why things this season, at least for me, were very weird. Because I was told a lot of things that ended up being true, but I just never had a lot of details surrounding them. Like hearing Brendan self eliminated, but not knowing if it was at #4 or #3. It’s clear watching last night that Tayshia was broken up about Brendan leaving, and her reiterating more than once last night that he was her guy from the very first date, will probably have a lot of people questioning then picking Zac, but I think there are ways around that. I don’t find that her saying that about Brendan but then being with Zac is really all that big of a deal. In the moment, yes, she was bothered and upset Brendan left. But that really just made her realize that the relationship wasn’t for her and she moved on. As for the info I presented last week where I told you I was told by two different people that Tayshia had ended things with Zac and was talking to Brendan post show. Good thing I didn’t report that as fact. Was always leery about that info and it’s why I said last week I have no idea if it was true or not. Well, now we know it’s not true since Brendan went on Rachel and Becca’s podcast today and specifically said he has not spoken to Tayshia since the season ended filming because he respects her too much. So now that that rumor has been proven to be false, it all points to Zac and Tayshia in the end and they are still together.
I don’t know what to tell you other than she’s definitely not with Ivan or Ben. As for Ben’s role in tonight’s show, that’s probably the only thing I’m unclear on. We ended last night with Tayshia leaving Ben on the couch to run and talk to producers. How much longer does Ben stay in tonight’s episode. Does she walk back in the room and tell him basically “too little, too late?” Does she let him show up at the rose ceremony? If he does, does she really give him a rose over Ivan and Ben actually WAS the final 2 all along like originally reported? Man, that’s tough to see through all this. Why would she let Ben back, pick him over Ivan, only to just send him home basically a few days later at final rose ceremony? That doesn’t make much sense. For dramatic and TV purposes I guess it would, but in reality, that wouldn’t make Tayshia look the greatest. If anything would shock me in tonight’s episode, it would be if she keeps Ben over Ivan, only to let him meet her parents and then dump him at the end.
Like I said, there will be no spoilers posted on IG today because ABC does not release their finale episode for screeners. So for those that keep track at home of my record every season because, well, I guess they have nothing better to do, you can mark me down for being partially correct this season. Had the right guy, Zac, but was wrong about the “engaged or not” part. I never wavered all season on whether it was Zac she chose. I never heard it was anyone BUT him. My confusion was always based on where the relationship was now since I was hearing info that it wasn’t going great. I really didn’t know. I said at the time an engagement didn’t happen. Pretty sure now that it did and we’ll see that tonight. That’s just a combination of what I’ve heard in the last few days asking around and what I saw last night. And they’re still together as we speak. Did I get a definitive answer to those? No. But enough, “Yeah, that’s what I heard as well” to where I’d say I’d be pretty surprised if that’s not what we see tonight. So there you go. Enjoy tonight…
justsaying
December 22, 2020 at 10:20 AM
Just awful for Ivan. He’s too good for her
unlisted
December 22, 2020 at 10:47 AM
As I said in an earlier post, what woman in her right mind would get married to an admitted former drug addict, especially one whose current job is working with drug addicts?
And I can’t believe this issue regarding Zac didn’t even come up during the show, at least not on camera, except when his parents talked about getting him through his “crisis.”
That might be considered noble to ignore among the p.c. crowd, but someone with that on his past resume is not good marriage material, IMO.
Stephanie
December 22, 2020 at 11:18 AM
Obviously a kind, non judgemental and forgiving woman. Someone you clearly don’t align with. How is someone who worked through addiction and is able to help others overcome that path anything but a strong and empathetic individual?
Ugh your comment was so incredibly ignorant. It makes my stomach bubble that people like you exist and even feel comfortable publishing such ignorance.
alicat
December 22, 2020 at 11:43 AM
Agree with Stephanie. I don’t hold Zach’s past drug issues against him but I do think that it would be something I would keep a close eye on in a relationship because, with any addiction, it can creep back).
My bigger issue is the no-kids thing. Zach’s folks seem pretty dialed into Zach and can read him well, so you’d think his Mom would know if the “no kids” thing was a defense mechanism. I can’t put my finger on it, but when I listen to Zach and watch him, “genuine and trustworthy” aren’t what come to mind. BUT I felt that about all the other 3 top men. Interesting too that Ben, Ivan, and Brendan all have the same personality and demeanor. They are all calm, mild, more passive where Zach is the only one that bucks that into more of the suave and slick type – it feels like he 100% knows exactly what to say but it doesn’t hit me as terribly genuine and I don’t know why. It makes me think Tayshia really aligns more with the other three in terms of personality traits she looks for.
I’m still baffled by how much Tayshia freaked out when Blake left but when both Ben and Brendan left she didn’t seem really affected. Upset but not devastated. Maybe we just didn’t see that? I don’t know, but the way they showed it felt so unbalanced. I mean, if she really wanted Brendan and he was THE ONE – I would have told him how I felt, I would have asked if he needed more time, if we wanted to end the show dating, etc. – whatever to make the relationship work. I wouldn’t let the guy I loved leave and then get engaged to the second choice? Doesn’t sound like a set-up for marital bliss. I don’t know, these entire last couple of weeks have felt so off because of these things.
Still hoping RS is wrong and somehow she ends up with Ivan.
justsaying
December 22, 2020 at 11:43 AM
Stephanie, If you want to date someone with a long history of substance abuse, go for it. You do make your own bed in life.
Don’t judge other that don’t recommend it or avoid it. Or hold yourself to being more noble for who you choose to date.
justsaying
December 22, 2020 at 11:50 AM
alicat, I did find it odd that Tayshia was professing her love for Zach during their date only to say Brendan was who she saw herself with in the end. Just very confusing.
And yes, Zach is so shifty with his “cheating” as kissing another girl in 6th grade story. Excellent job working around the lie detector and yeah doing a 180 regarding the whole kids situation. Sweet talker.
Stephanie
December 22, 2020 at 12:01 PM
I lost my husband to an overdose while I was 7 weeks pregnant. I too struggled with addiction and his death along with my pregnancy is the reason I now have over 2 years sober and a beautiful 2 year old. It pains me to think that someone will judge me on my past or would ever look down on me for helping others overcome their own addictions so they aren’t raising a child without a father like me. Marriages end for many reasons. Dads are absent for many reasons. Many times someone who has overcome such obstacles and is in LONG TERM recovery will be an excellent and supportive partner. Addiction is a disease and should never be a reason to discount someone as a suitable partner or worthy of being in your life. So yes I do look down on someone who would discount a person on their worth and value of being in their life based on PAST addiction issues, especially someone with almost 10 years sober.
Stephanie
December 22, 2020 at 12:17 PM
Thank you! Yes I definitely agree with keeping an eye on addiction. I lost my husband to an overdose while I was 7 weeks pregnant. I too was in active addiction and through his death and my pregnancy reveal, I was able to finally find sobriety. My daughter turned two yesterday. I haven’t dated at all because I’m so scared of the bias and discrimination towards addicts in recovery. I also was adamant I would never date anyone in recovery after what I went through but I can’t expect others to look past my mistakes if I couldn’t look past theirs. I totally agree that I would keep an eye out. I’ve noticed a lot of addicts in long term recovery stay sober but it’s a lot harder for alcoholics because it’s so readily available. I wouldn’t be able to date anyone without at least two years of sobriety. So it’s a touchy subject for me lol ?
I do think Zach has that suave personality with all the right things to say. He reminds me of Bryan from Rachel’s season and sometimes I think it’s just being older, wiser, more experienced with women and actually being ready to settle down. It’s worked out for Rachel and Bryan so I hope it does for these two!
justsaying
December 22, 2020 at 12:20 PM
Stephanie, I am sorry for what you went through and I fully commend you for your recovery and resilience and do take great care of yourself and your child.
Nevertheless, if I was one of your close friends, I would have advised or warn you against dating someone with a bad history. That’s just the way I am. I have lost many friends due to my bluntness. Too many “friends” turn a blind eye or enable toxic situations.
People don’t date others for many reasons and they have a right to make their decisions based on what is comfortable for them. I have friends who won’t date someone who’s been engaged before or married before or have children. Ok that’s fine. To each it’s own.
Stephanie
December 22, 2020 at 12:50 PM
I do understand what you’re saying but my issue is with addiction and the stigma is carries. While being married and having kids are things to consider, addiction is recognized as a disease and in the US, we try to not discriminate against others based on disease, disabilities, etc. While I wouldn’t recommend dating anyone currently using or in early sobriety(I made this mistake myself), I do think people who have overcome their addiction and are in recovery should be considered as healthy as anyone who doesn’t have the disease of addiction. So my stand is that we don’t discriminate or hold prejudice against others with the disease of addiction or any disease or disability they have against their control. So to the woman looking down on another woman for dating a recovered addict or the woman advising her friends to steer clear of someone with past addiction issues – I ask you to reconsider and try seeing addiction through a different lense – perhaps a strength and not a weakness.
sarabs
December 22, 2020 at 2:36 PM
So I have a theory about the Ben thing and I do believe you are right about Ben being final 2. Here’s what I think happened. If you watch and listen to Tayshia talking to Chris before the rose ceremony where she let Ben go, she seems very irritated. She makes a comment about how she knows what she has to do or something like that. I think the producers set this up and told her to not to give Ben the rose – even though she was planning to. Why? So he could profess his love to her on the bench outside and she could then tell him – you can stay! Then they get to keep Ben and Ivan. They wanted to keep Ivan around for the diversity factor (no knockin Ivan – he’s my fav but it’s pretty clear she’s not really that into it). This makes sense if you think about how she treated Ben during his exit. She was pissed – producers were sure he’d profess his love. Then he choked and messed the plan up, so they had to bring him back another way. I think he’ll come back and get an overnight and go to final 2.
I do think it’s possible she ends up with Ben. He posts a lot of vague “I love you’s” on IG. He also posts a lot of Purple Heart emojis – and i was thinking it might be some way they might be giving each other little secret nods – she wore a purple dress to MTA. Anyways, the “with Ben” part is a long shot, but I think my theory about the producers intervening is pretty solid and explains why she was so puzzled. She was never pissed at Ivan for not sharing his feelings, so why so mad at Ben? I think she was mad at production.
adelina
December 22, 2020 at 3:39 PM
@Stephanie – congrats on your recovery and I’m sorry for the loss of your child’s father. You are a bad a** strong woman – tune out the small-minded posts.
I feel similarly to some others about Zac. I have no issues with his past – he should be commended. There does seem to be something about him that comes off as disingenuous and slick. Hoping for the best for Tayshia.
ladyjane747
December 22, 2020 at 3:59 PM
I’m confused about justsaying suggesting Zac didn’t talk to Tayshia about his addiction. Was I dreaming or imagining the conversation? I’m pretty sure he told her about his addiction, not listening to his family, stealing, going in and out of rehab – all the ugly details. To me, his bigger offense is wearing big, white sneakers with a suit at rose ceremonies!
daisy127
December 22, 2020 at 4:35 PM
Beautifully said Stephanie ~ Amen!!!
I think Tayshia has one of the most kind, unassuming and forgiving hearts of any previous bachelorette……She is a gift.
daisy127
December 22, 2020 at 4:43 PM
And I think Ben’s major offense was wearing those awful scoop neck shirts!?????
adelina
December 22, 2020 at 5:55 PM
Zac’s underbite is my only deal breaker:)
crystal9
December 22, 2020 at 5:58 PM
I purposely signed up to be able to make a comment to you Stephanie. Congratulations to your sobriety and little 1! I have 15yrs clean time and I wanted to say great job!
As for the twatwaffels out there that judge addicts as not good partners… get a grip. There are slimy, disingenuous guys out there that arent addicts. He’s not those traits because he’s an addict. I dont think ppl with less than 2yrs clean should be in a relationship because they should be working on healing themselves but that does not make a person not trustworthy in a relationship when they are ready. Such a dumb take on addiction.
awb51107
December 22, 2020 at 6:25 PM
I normally wouldn’t comment on this because I know what it’s like to be humiliated, not believed, shamed, told not to report abuse and sexual violence because he was a public figure, he was a role model to children, he was an athlete. I’m commenting in hopes Lauren will see this, I’m commenting in hopes this helps another woman or victim.
Lauren-I am so sorry for what you went through. I’m so sorry for what you have been dealing with these last 9 years with ptsd, panic attacks, second guessing your worth, whether you did the right thing or not. Lauren I am proud of you. I’m proud of you for waking up each morning and giving the day your best shot. I’m proud you keep fighting every day. I’m proud you decided to forgive yourself for something you never caused upon yourself. Lauren, I believe you and I stand with you. So many women believe in you and I can guarantee your story will help women and victims. I hope, maybe not today maybe not tomorrow, but one day you wake up proud of yourself like I am of you. You’re strong, courageous, and beautiful. The world needs more of you in it because you’re an inspiration whether you believe so or not. Women, like myself, see your strength and live by it. Thank you Lauren for having the strength and courage to stand up against a sexual predator and monster. You have no idea how much you’ve impacted others lives by being brave and sharing your horrific past. I stand with you and I always will ?
Stephanie
December 22, 2020 at 9:13 PM
Thank you!!
dbla31
December 23, 2020 at 9:29 AM
A handful of replies to some of the above comments:
Stephanie! Congrats! I fully know how hard what you’ve gone through is and I commend you. Wishing nothing but the best for you and your daughter. I hope some day you find the perfect partner to share your life.
For those saying Zac is slick, I really think it’s a regional/NJ thing. The guys have attitude. I don’t think he is insincere. Actually addicts in recovery are some of the most straightforward, sincere people. That openness is a big part of one’s healing process.
For those saying she should have picked Ivan. He is absolutely perfect: for another woman. I think he is too boring and mainstream for Tayshia. And looking at her history, both on this show and in life, she clearly has a preference for white men. That’s not bad. We all have our preferences. Clare was attracted to a black man. The world has come a long way. I truly think a lot of the people cheering for her to pick Ivan still think that a black man is the best option for a black woman.
And finally justsaying, you clearly have no empathy or much education/experience when it comes to addiction. You can make your own choices, but to say so adamantly that a former addict is a bad one is just narrow minded and ignorant. You especially seem to harp on Zac still working with addicts. I used to work in substance abuse counseling, and I was surprised at the large number of former addicts in the field. It is very common once you have gotten clean to want to help others with that issue. It’s not a red flag at all, but commendable and shows how committed he is.
tiggertamer
December 23, 2020 at 9:00 PM
Regarding addiction, I think refusing to consider a relationship with a recovered addict may be more misguided than it is judgmental. I have not had an addiction, but I come from families of alcoholics on both sides, with one of my parents being a recovered alcoholic – about 45 years sober now.
There is no guarantee that someone who might currently believe they don’t have an addiction won’t develop one in the future. From my perspective, alcoholism, for example, is extremely common. It could be argued that a recovered addict is a safer bet, as that person will have already gone through it and come out the other side. Also, most recovered addicts will avoid all mind altering substances, except maybe caffeine and nicotine, because they know they must do so in order to avoid the high probability of another addiction.
I actually find sober (former addicts) relatively attractive. There’s a lot of self-discovery and maturity that comes with overcoming an addiction. And, when someone is able to disclose and openly talk about a former addiction, I tend to feel an extra level of trust in that person.
justsaying
December 27, 2020 at 8:27 AM
Dbla31, I was the first one to congratulate Steph for her recovery. How is that lack of empathy?? As a matter of fact, I have alcoholism and addiction in my family history. There you have it. That’s just my deal-breaker and I stand by my deal breakers.
Again, if anyone of you choose to date a recovering addict or abuser, go for it. It’s your choice but don’t act like you’re better than everyone else.
justsaying
December 27, 2020 at 8:40 AM
Also dbla31, I like Ivan the most not because he’s mix race and Tayshia is mix race. Ivan is awesome because he’s kind, sweet, caring, loving, handsome, smart, successful, thoughtful and amazing.
idontcare
December 29, 2020 at 12:57 PM
I married an addict in recovery after 4 years of dating then living together. We had 2 children before marriage. All was well for 15 years as we went to church, built our family and marriage. Then, my husband starts taking pain meds due to a lot of dental work he was having done and boom! He was off, drinking hearty and every day. I moved our family away to another state for a fresh start. Well, he started an affair with a mistress I could not compete with and her name was Meth! Our lives were completely destroyed, I was now a single mother of 4 children supporting them alone bc hubby couldn’t hold a job and was a terrifying sight to see. I will never ever date an addict. 9 out of 10 will relapse and your world will soon spin out of control. They are just as close to their next drink, drug or pill than their last. Relapse is almost inevitable. Yeah, good luck with your recovering addicts ladies.
justsaying
December 30, 2020 at 5:15 PM
Thank you idontcare for sharing.
justsaying
December 30, 2020 at 5:45 PM
I too have had a slew of different individuals throughout my life directly or indirectly with alcohol or substance abuse issues. Some take others down with them and making people around them miserable. Again, I steer clear. My life, my decisions, my set of deal-breakers.
lydjo20
January 1, 2021 at 8:35 AM
Why is everyone shocked about Ivan’s departure. The connection was never there. Viewed need yo learn to read the people involved. Her dates with non interest people weee always something non intimate or touchy or non supporting a true connection.
Ivan was eliminated because of non religion in which we never saw it heard and yet Zac, Brendan and the other one called back never said anything about Christian beliefs and she chose Zac. Hmmmm
In my opinion rye choices were limited in the group. Tayshia s default and Claire’s (Bachelors) all seemed sadly flawed with things that can be helped with therapy. Zac seemed to be still recovering as his style and appearance looks like he was still working through it. Maybe Tayshia will work with him on that continued recovery.