-Lets start at the beginning where to open the season, they made sure to immediately show us Katie with her vibrator approaching Matt, even though they had to put a black box over it. Look, I’m not sure what the standards and practices are, but if you’re going to let Katie bring on a vibrator, yet you know ABC won’t allow it to be shown, I just…don’t get it. Especially when it became the biggest thing talked about all night. I get it. Katie is sex positive. We saw her talking about masturbating 3 times in one day and having sex with ghosts in her most viewed Tik Tok by far. I guess that’s her brand. So of course she’d be the one to bring a vibrator night one. But did we reeeeeeeeeallly need it for every scene with her? I don’t know. The joke lost it’s luster after the first time we saw it. By the 100th time, I had moved on. And there is zero doubt in my mind at some point Katie will be shilling for vibrators on IG. Mark it down.
-We’re introduced to Matt, who is the first lead that wasn’t on a previous season since Brad Womack’s first season. That was a loooooooong ass time ago. A lot of us know about Matt through what we’ve seen in Quarantine Crew videos or all of his mask-less appearances in different states since filming ended, etc. Outside of the mask stuff and non-stop travel he’s done, I thought they did a good job of showing us what he was about. And for a guy who didn’t appear on a previous season, at least so far, I thought he handled himself well. Dude is polished, that’s for sure. And very tall too, which is gonna make for some incredibly awkward hugs all season. I saw one last night during the limo entrances where he had to bend down so much, his knees pointed in like two different directions. The awkward hug season! I’m here for it. Can you imagine what it’ll be like when one of these girls runs and jumps into his arms? They might not reach. Or he might not catch. A catastrophe waiting to happen.
-For the second season in a row, they’ve decided to forgo the intro videos of a selected group of the contestants, and instead, show them arriving at Nemacolin and filming a few quick things talking into the camera. By the way, Nemacolin is making La Quinta look like child’s play. Holy shit that place looks impressive. They’re definitely gonna get their money’s worth with an 11 week commercial for their resort. Anyway, the 6 girls who got the most “intro” time were:
Alicia: Ballet dancer. And then we basically never saw her again the rest of the night until she was eliminated. Ummmm, from what I hear, don’t feel sorry for her.
Abigail: Born completely deaf. Has cochlear implants and, as suspected, will be a fan favorite.
Kristin: She’s a lawyer. And I don’t remember seeing her the rest of the night.
Magi: Although I don’t think she lasts too long this season, certainly can’t miss her with her hair and her accent. On point.
Anna: Works in advertising and at a bar. And is already getting a ton of hate online from Brittany’s friends who called her out last night for the whole escort thing that she becomes a part of later this season.
Sarah: A former broadcast journalist that moved home to be with her father who has ALS.
Then we have the limo entrances, and there weren’t a ton that stood out as most were pretty tame, but here were the ones that stuck out to me:
Bri and Rachael: Showing these as the first two out of the limo wasn’t done accidentally, that’s for sure.
Sarah: She told Matt she’d like to call this place home for a couple weeks. Sooooo, you’re saying you want to go home around episode 4? You realize the full filming took 5 weeks, right? Apparently not.
Serena P.: She’s only 5’2”. I think she was the one where Matt’s legs looked like a pretzel when he hugged her. If she does a run and jump hug this season, she’s probably gonna need a trampoline.
Saneh: Matt’s the GOAT so she brought goat feet. At least she realized after Kaili came in wearing lingerie how maybe she shouldn’t have listened to that producer suggestion.
Kaili: She walks up in lingerie and a robe and her dressed on a rack for Matt to choose. He was into it, as were I’m guessing many guys watching at home. Creative, eye catching, and not cheesy. How many points did GOR give her for that?
Abigail: She tells Matt she was born deaf and that she’ll be reading his lips a lot. Matt tells her he’ll be sure to annunciate. Lets just say thank God Abigail wasn’t on Nick’s season.
Pieper: She’s said she’s always wanted to keep her last name when she gets married. Her last name is James. This is a match made in heaven.
MJ: Came with the pizza delivery for Matt, yet, we don’t know what toppings she put on it? That should be mandatory if pizza is involved.
Katie: Brings her vibrator that kept her occupied during the pandemic according to her. And ghosts.
Illeana: She brought a meatball and asked if Matt if she could put her balls in his mouth. No. Only Pete Shweaty can.
Victoria: Wore a crown. Calls herself a queen. Trying way too hard.