Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, Dylan Speaks Out, Jed Doesn’t, & Matt Addresses Some Issues…Sort of

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

I know that the show has always highlighted the nastiness between the contestants. I’m curious for your thoughts on its increase in correlation with Elan’s exit from the series? Do you think that Elan was putting a ‘cap on it’ of sorts and restricting some of the unnecessary cruelty like this escort business/dogpiling on Sarah. Don’t get me wrong, I think Elan was unkind with his editing manipulation as well, but not to this extent.

Thanks for your help.

Comment: No. I don’t think him being gone has anything to do with it. You talk to certain contestants, and they absolutely couldn’t stand the guy.

Hi Steve,

I’ve always wondered, how do you stay organized while you are “working out” spoilers for a season? I’m imaging a police-style investigation with pictures & tips printed out on a wall? Or maybe you just track leads in Excel?


Comment: Honestly, it’s just a Microsoft Word sheet. Nothing special. Once I start hearing names of contestants, I put that all on one sheet along with their IG stats, and how I was told about that contestant so I can always refer back.

In terms of the spoilers, same thing. I just keep a running calendar (It was actually much easier pre-COVID filming since so many dates were public and you knew when travel was), and I just fill it in accordingly with any info I hear, pictures I get, or something that describes the date.

Hi Steve –

I really enjoyed the Ashley podcast. While I knew that Dee, Evan and Kenny had been banned, I don’t follow the social media / news on the players so it was shocking to me when she mentioned various people she thought were banned.

I’m surprised that more Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants don’t try to extend their fame and build followers by getting on the show. I only remember Chase being on and he got knocked out quickly. Any theories on why the show would not want them or why contestants would not want to be on (too much work?)? Any bachelor people you would like to see on? Because MTV is a cable show, and while the Challenge is their most popular franchise, it barely draws a million viewers a week. Going on an MTV show isn’t all that lucrative in terms of your IG branding.

Ashley was not someone I ever thought would win…until she did. Of the current crop of non champions, I think Kam, Fessy and Jay will win someday. I don’t believe Kyle, Josh, Devin, Nany, or Aneesa will ever move from 2nd tier players to champions if it is a solo game. Big T – cannot imagine her winning under any circumstances. Who do you see as future champs?

Comment: I think you’re right on those three winning in the future. Can absolutely see those. I think Tori will win at some point as well. And for some crazy reason, I do think Cory will win one of these times. Kaycee too.

No need to respond to this, but as I’m stuck at home, I have stumbled across really random podcasts, and I happened to stumble across Jana Kramer and Michael Caussin interview with Jed Wyatt, and I just wanted to say, “WTF?!”

Did you listen to it? Jed’s attempt to cover his ass in this whole thing was so effed up.

Had to tell somebody who would have a reaction or stance, especially with the backlash you’ve received from interviewing other ex’s recently.


Comment: No. When was this? Like back when everything went down?

First off, I’m cracking up at this shopping date @ Nemacolin. ? I just stayed there last year and that “limo” ride to the date couldn’t have been more than (no exaggeration) 2 seconds long. Also, wouldn’t be shocked if the “butler” is an actual hotel employee; they have cheesy butlers for some of the room categories and I had one last year there as well!

The boutique is also laughable — not sure if they brought the dresses in specifically for this but that was not the usual Revolve-esque clothing we see and I suspect because they were picking directly from the shop. My guess is all those clothes were shipped in. In fact, can pretty much guarantee it.

Nemacolin is a beautiful property, but I wouldn’t go back. Food is TERRIBLE and there’s literally nothing for miles outside of the restaurants at the hotel. There are several other top notch spa resorts just in PA that I would choose over Nemacolin — still cool to check out once — but nothing worth what you pay for it.

On to my questions:

RE: Carly / Evan — when I first saw Carly’s YouTube after your podcast I really thought she was just saving face (essentially disputing the narrative told on your pod) — but she continues to put videos out that it was Evan’s choice and she would still be married if she could. Any thoughts? I don’t think Evan’s ex-wife is very vengeful, so just wondering where the disconnect is. I’m sure it was Evan’s choice. His wife moved out 18 months (at least) previous to when they actually filed. I think she’s spinning a hell of a narrative at this point based on what I’m hearing, where everything makes her the victim and woe is me.

RE: Victoria — I know they’ll have her on BIP etc — but what is it going to take for them to really stand against bullying of this level. Gosh, Corinne was crazy but at least you could laugh at her. Victoria was literally unwatchable.

Thanks for all of the work as always!!

Comment: She has one play at the WTA and that’s own up to her actions. She won’t.


Thanks for making this season and the last season tolerable. A few questions to ask.

What kind of response do you believe Rachael and Matt are getting once the show is over? Do you believe he’ll defend their relationship given her alleged history of behavior? Do you hear anything about the relationship (more than if they’re together, which you say they still are now). He kinda already defended it yesterday in an interview with Lauren Zima. Or, at least doesn’t seem fazed by it. I gotta believe he’s spoken to her about it, and that’s the million dollar question. We don’t know what she said to him, or if/when she’ll address it publicly. But he’s still with her if that tells you anything. She absolutely needs to address it, but, she might be being muzzled by the franchise now. I don’t know what to tell you. If I were her, I would. I’m getting the sense they’re not allowing her to for whatever reason. But here’s something I can 100% guarantee: when she finally does speak, the people who have already made up their mind that she’s a crazy, right wing, racist are still going to feel the same way. It’ll be, “Well, what’d you expect her to say?”

So while she needs to do it sooner rather than later, I’m not sure what exactly it’ll change. People are so hell bent on canceling her, doesn’t seem like it’ll matter much. The posts out there that are directly related to her she absolutely needs to address. She needs to realize, while she may not have thought much about it at the time, they certainly are sensitive topics and gives off a notion that she doesn’t understand or take it seriously. She needs to rectify that, apologize, says she realizes how hurtful posts like that associated with her can be, and vow to be better. Period. End of story. There’s no other PR move for this one. And if people still wanna scream she’s a racist, then that’s on them. I wanna hear her address it first. People are up in arms this season about bullying, yet, it’s exactly what’s going on online in regards to Rachael when she hasn’t spoken yet. If me not wanting to cancel her and immediately label her a racist like so many others are doing is somehow making me look bad, so be it. I’ll take the road of first wanting to hear from her before crucifying someone. Guess I’m in the minority. Because right now, if you don’t flat out call Rachael a racist, then apparently you’re a racist yourself, and that’s flat out stupid. No, because you’re not calling Rachael a racist doesn’t make you one. Why is that necessary? However, she absolutely needs to address these pictures online and acknowledge how insensitive they are, why she was part of them, and apologize.

Did you hear Dylan and his ridiculous assertion that Jed got a bad edit for nothing and that he didn’t cheat on Hannah? I almost laughed myself into a stupor. Jed is a moron and there’s no way to defend him. Thoughts? It makes dislike Dylan now. He’s just being a BRO. This is turning into a non-story since Dylan deleted all his tweets, and Jed has not produced a YouTube video or a podcast like he promised, sooooo, we just do nothing in the meantime.

Have you talked to Clare now that she’s done with Dale? No.

Will you consider putting crazy Victoria on your podcast? No need to.

Any updates on Astrid and Kevin? No.

What do you think of Rachel and Bryan’s long distance marriage? I have real doubts about this one. Makes no sense. I don’t think she’s much into compromise and I used to really respect her. I stopped listening to her podcast because I just don’t get her anymore. I thought her criticism of Ben in which she competed him to Peter is unfounded! At any rate, she says her long distance relationship works for her but I don’t know about that. I don’t know enough about their marriage to comment.

Do you have any updates on ex bachelorette Meredith, who you had on your podcast awhile ago.


Comment: Haven’t heard from her in a while.

Happy day, Steve,

My question is do they purposely give the pretty woman/shopping date to the person they know the lead feels strongest for (at the time) and/or is going to win? I know Becca got that date on her season and now Rachael. I assume they would rather send someone home with the Louboutins who wins/last long verses someone who gets a 1-1 but is eliminated earlier? I guess to go off that, do they give the better/more expensive dates to the people who the lead likes most and then the cheaper more low-key dates to the ones going home earlier? Or is it completely random?

Comment: I wouldn’t say it’s completely random, but Jade got one too, and she didn’t win. So it’s not a lock that if you get it, you win. But Matt clearly wanted to do something special for Rachael, that was obvious. He certainly wasn’t giving her some bullshit date where she comes over and they cook dinner and talk.

Do you like my subject line?? Sorry, I forgot it.

Here’s my take on Dylan’s whole diarrhea of the mouth the other day:
“You never bite the hand the feeds you!!!”

He doesn’t have to agree with the way the franchise works, most contests probably don’t, but you don’t bite the hand that fed you. He needs to remember that he & Hannah both came from the franchise & wouldn’t have their 3 F’s if it weren’t for the show, their fame, following & fiancé.

He can disagree with them all day long but the bottom line is neither he nor Hannah would be where they are today if it weren’t for the franchise so he should respect that IMO. I just personally think he should be grateful for what came out of it rather than trashing the franchise like he has been. Do you agree or disagree??

Comment: Well, you can see on page 1 he apologized and took everything back. Well, at least his approach to what he did. Which I’m sure was by producers getting in his ear telling him that’s a horrible look for someone who’s benefitted so much off the show.

Hi Steve,

What is one Bachelor franchise mystery that you would like the details behind? Mine is Peter’s never ending season ending. Why all the switch ups? Why was Kelly at the after the final rose? And why did Barb really despise Madi so much? I know he’s touched on it, but I need a non contract answer. Yeah, that’s definitely the most recent one for sure. So many things I’d like to really know.

Second question. This has been bugging me and I thought you may know the answer. There is a discontinued Olive Garden entree that I would get all the time and was looking for a copycat recipe for. I can’t for the life of me remember what it’s called. It’s been discontinued for a few years now, red sauce, baked, very cheesy (not the five cheese ziti). I know, I know sounds like everything they have! You’re my hero if you know what I’m talking about!

Comment: Hmmmmm, nothing is coming to mind based on what you said.


I just read your recap of Episode 5. Here’s something to chew on: I watched the Bachelor episode last night, anything unreal that’s not the ex-faux president is a relief! After it was over, and the date with Rachel ended with a confession from both that they were falling in faux love, I realized I couldn’t remember a damn thing about Rachel’s exit from the limo in the opener, so I decided to go time traveling & check her out-was it as memorable as he said & I’d just had too much Zinfadel at that point, or was her dress just way too tight &/or revealing?

Here’s the thing: not a terribly memorable dress, she was busy pulling it down as she exited the limo, paired with chunky lucite-heeled strappy 70s disco-style shoes, the nouveau Cinderella shoe, so it wasn’t the outfit. No vibrator, no farm animals in tow-nothing, BUT she does not introduce herself at all. She NEVER says her name, & he never asks her her name even though he claims to have been blown away by her. All is he says to her is “You made it”. I think she says it back to him, “I made it”. SO, even though we all know they edit these episodes to within an inch of their lives to mislead & create drama, I’m realizing these two clearly knew each other already, & were probably already dating & looking for a way to break Covid pods on someone else’s dole. They found one. I think that’s a reach. Those entrances are edited. I’m sure she did say her name at some point, but we never hear it. I highly doubt they knew each other or spoke pre-show. We would’ve heard of that by now.

During their “dinner”-would someone PLEASE pack up the food they never eat & send it to me so I don’t have to cook after work, please tell me they don’t throw all that food out, & do these people ever actually eat?-Matt talks a lot about Rachel never having to be the 1st to run up & do the requisite leg-wrap jump, never being the last to leave or have to interrupt one the inane conversations he’s having with someone else, or having to try to catch his eye, and that would be because she already knows they are there together, she doesn’t need to worry about him noticing her, because she has been online(?) dating him the whole time. The fact that she’s ok with him kissing anything that moves doesn’t seem to be a problem for her, so who wouldn’t want a girlfriend like that?! You really seem to love this conspiracy theory.

At any rate, something to consider. Guessing they never intended to get engaged, at least not in the time frame of a tv show, but they both really needed a vacay and were bored beyond belief, so they both signed on, she made the team, & the rest is well, not history-but his story, & her story. Would love confirmation on this, it’s just a theory but wouldn’t you tell someone your NAME when you meet him, & if he were really blown away by her wouldn’t he have to thought to ask it if she failed to provide it? Just saying. I do quality control for a living, so pretty disappointed I didn’t notice this the 1st time, but post-Trump stress disorder is a powerful thing…Cheers!

Comment: I’d let this one go.

Long time fan and follower, first time emailing. Two questions:

I have listened to almost all of your podcasts and look forward to Thursdays to see who your guest will be for the week. Last week’s guest, Ashley “Millionaire” Mitchell was one of my favorites even though I have never watched a minute of any seasons of The Challenge. She was so entertaining. Anyway, I have tried to listen to other bachelor related podcasts and cannot seem to find any that hold my attention like yours. Most of the podcasts with hosts who are former contestants are painful to listen to as they try too hard and come across as insincere or inauthentic. Plus they are afraid to ask the difficult questions and they act like they don’t really know what goes on behind the scenes. The only other podcast that I really enjoy is Olivia Caridi’s Mouthing Off with Olivia podcast. You and Olivia are not afraid to call out the Bachelor franchise or ask the difficult questions to which we all want to know the answers. Anyway, my first question is this…what other semi-bachelor related podcasts do you recommend that are similar to yours and Olivia’s where the host interviews former contestants or other similar reality tv guests? I honestly don’t listen to any others with any sort of regularity. I couldn’t tell you. I only listen when there’s a specific guest or specific answer I want to hear from a host and/or guest.

My second question is related to Temptation Island. Are you going to have contestants on again during the season? What about Kaci? Will she be joining you again? <

Thanks for all of the work you put into spoiling the Bachelor/ette. It makes watching the show way more enjoyable.

Comment: I’m still waiting to hear on TI. I don’t know yet. Kaci will definitely be on at some point during the season for sure, whether I get guests from season 3 or not.



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