Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, Dylan Speaks Out, Jed Doesn’t, & Matt Addresses Some Issues…Sort of

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

A couple of questions:

1- How come when Anna & Ryan are shown crying there are no tears? Doesn’t it make them come off as really not being sad or upset? I don’t think so. It’s possible not everyone has tears streaming during a cry.

2- Well, not really a question but Rachel looks like (to me) Emily Ratajkowski in “Gone Girl”. Rachael kinda looks like a lot of people, honestly.

3- Does Rachel get to keep all of those clothes & the shoes? I don’t believe so, no.

4- When the girls are all sitting around together do the producers give them a topic to talk about & then film them? Absolutely.

5- Do you think MJ regrets talking to Jessenia like she did? I feel like Jessenia was more of an adult about the whole thing then MJ was.

Comment: Jessenia clearly handled herself 100x better than MJ. MJ should be embarrassed by how she spoke to her.

Hi Steve!

Long time reader and fan. A couple things:

1.) Lutsen Mountains is a real thing in MN. It’s actually a ski resort. In MN we sometimes refer to Ski Hills as Mountains. Another example would be Spirit Mountain in Duluth, MN. Anyways not sure why my fellow Minnesotans got so upset about it, but I thought I’d try to bring it full circle for everyone. Shameless plug, but Lutsen is a beautiful place to visit in the Fall and Winter if you’re ever interested in a trek to northern MN and Lake Superior. I’m good. I’ll just ride through it on my Peloton. Not much of a mountain guy.

2.) Would you ever have Garrett Powell on your podcast from Hannah’s season? I know he got in some hot water over the sexual assault comment, apologized, and has since been vocal about his struggles with depression, and the impacts the show had on it… seems like he’d have a good story to dive into…

Thanks for everything you do!

Comment: He has? I thought he quit Twitter and social media all together? He came back.

Hey Steve – I’m sure someone else has told you this today – I think the “cheating” they are referring to with Jed and Hannah doesn’t involve Haley, but on After the Final Rose, I thought Hannah brought up the fact that someone DM’d her about an alleged cheating that happened at CMA Fest, right after Hannah had been in Nashville visiting him. Can’t remember details but I wouldn’t be surprised if that happened.

Comment: I thought Hannah was with him that weekend at CMA Fest and they were having a Happy Couple in Nashville? Or did I remember that wrong?


First time writing in, but IM SO CURIOUS after mentioning the Bachelorette in your post on Tuesday.

Based off of what you know about past and present contestants and knowing the franchise, who do you think they’ll choose for Bachelorette? Also, who would you want to see as Bachelorette if you could choose?

At the end of the episode last night, I was getting a feeling that MJ might stay.. but then saw a clip in a preview of Jessenia on the couch with other ladies. Which gave me a glimmer of hope that Matt actually did send MJ home.. still crossing my fingers though, I guess you never know.

Love your column and your Q&A on IG!

Comment: I think MJ does go home based on something I was DM’ed yesterday. But I forgot to follow up because I had a lot going on.

1. Do you have a guess if the ring Matt is holding in the promo is a fake out (like what they did with Colton). Or if it’s a promise ring? Well, I’ve been told he doesn’t propose, so, I’m not sure exactly what that’s all about.

2. You said you have heard a lot of stories this season. Without going into specifics, which girl this season have you heard the most negative things about, and which girl have you heard the least amount of negative things? Not gonna go there.

3. It seems like Pieper and Matt have some chemistry that no one knew about until that passionate ITM kiss. Any idea what place she finishes? 6th?

Comment: I haven’t heard, but I’d say she lasts pretty long. Especially since he went out of his way to kiss her on the group date last episode, gave her the group date rose the episode before that, and next week she gets her 1-on-1.

Hey Steve,

I’m having a super hard time trying to buy into Matt being The Bachelor. I just feel like there is absolutely no way he is ready to settle down and have something serious, especially with all the attention he will be getting after the show. I feel the same way about Tyler Cameron. I feel like he has used Hannah Brown post show to make sure he stays in the spot light, and give fans hope of them actually being together, when in reality he has no intentions of ever being with her. And maybe she uses him for clout too, I don’t know. But I definitely feel like Tyler Cameron has absolutely had the “fame” of the show go to his head, and I believe Matt will too. So I’m not sure there is a question here, just putting my two cents in. I believe the show absolutely rushed into making Matt James the lead without doing their research.


Comment: There are plenty who feel the exact same way as you.

Hi Steve,

Appreciate your work! Reading your posts/instagrams makes the show way more entertaining.

Question for you re: Anna/Brittany –

Anna claims folks were messaging her about Brittany prior to the show, however, Brittany was in the second crop of women. So does that mean Anna knew more women were coming prior to their arrival?

Apologies if you’ve covered in a column previously and I’ve missed it. I just didn’t understand the context of how Anna knew so much on a girl that wasn’t even there at first.

Comment: Well, both being from Chicago, we don’t know who their circles of friends are, but if Anna’s friends knew she was going on the show (which plenty did), and Brittany’s friends knew she was going on the show, all it would take would be for one mutual friend of both, or even an acquaintance knowing they’re both going tell Anna, “Hey, I’ve heard another girl is going on this season, her name is Brittany, I hear she…” is really all it would take.

Hi Reality Steve,

I was wondering if you knew any more information about why Chris Harrison made the comment he did about Kaili in the meet the women live stream back in December? He basically that the viewers should remember that she’s a hostess and works in the club scene in Chicago (the same place where Anna’s from). He also went on to say “Just remember working in the club scene in Chicago because that job is going to lead to her being embroiled in a pretty big dramatic storyline this season” Since she is already gone could she have been the one who told Anna about Brittney, leading Anna to spread all the rumours? Unless if I missed something that Kaili and Matt talked about that had to do with her job I’m not sure why Chris would have said this and wanted to know your thoughts.

Looking forward to your reply in the column!

Comment: Yeah, clearly didn’t know what the edit in episode 4 was gonna do, but Chris said that knowing Kaili played a role. Why it wasn’t shown, we’ll never know.

Ending Cocktail Parties

After Sarah interrupts one, the cocktail party ends without Matt meeting with 7 more women. So that Sarach can be blamed by all of them. Before the last Rose Ceremony, it ended after Matt talked to maybe four people. If he kept going, he could have found more of the bully. But they ended early so he wouldn’t.

Does the lead have any control over this or does Production end it? That’s all production. Clearly if they wanted him to talk to everyone, they’d allow him to.

I did blame Hannah Brown when she cancelled it every week because she was “too emotional.”

In the context of the accusations against Brittany, many people said that we should not shame sex workers. Maybe I am just not up on the terminology but in today’s world, is an escort assumed to be a sex worker? There are legal escort services in many states, and prostitution is illegal in most of them. There isn’t a universal definition of an escort. If there was, everyone would know exactly what Anna was accusing Brittany of, and we don’t really. Being an escort doesn’t 100% mean sex is being exchanged for their time. But there are some people who do hear the word escort and think it is.

Magi’s paddle was upside down.

Comment: I love how you just threw that line in there at the end. Good one.

Hi Steve,

With all the recent conversations about what’s happening behind the scenes (producer manipulation, anti-feminist storylines, etc.) on the Bachelor, I’ve been a bit shocked and surprised by how many people don’t seem to know much about the show they are watching Just to take one example – and forgive me if you’ve mentioned this before because I haven’t been following your blog for long – don’t most Bachelor fans know anything about Sarah Shapiro? As a former producer who blew the lid on the whole behind the scenes producer manipulation thing, I thought she’d made more of a cultural impact.

Also, she did create a show (UnREAL) that dramatized her experiences. Don’t Bachelor fans know about UnREAL? Or do they think it’s just too exaggerated to be worthy of attention? Granted, it is kind of soapy at times, but with all that’s happened on the Bachelor in recent years including sexual assault, producer manipulation, bullying, and more, it seems pretty on point. Also, her critique of the Bachelor as anti-feminist was on the mark and totally in alignment with what I understand of yours.

I guess I’m just wondering whether you think most current Bachelor fans are even aware of Shapiro and/or UnREAL? Did Shapiro’s contributions change the way you viewed the show, or did it simply add more to what you already knew at the time? UnReal is popular within a niche part of the Bachelor community, but no, I think most people don’t know about it. And they should. It simply added to everything I already knew, but really gives a perspective of how stuff behind the scenes goes. While exaggerated in certain areas, the basic producer manipulation playing out is rather fascinating to watch.

Also, I think it’s annoying that Bachelor producers prevent contestants from interviewing with you. Listening to a podcast like Nick’s is OK, but I also think he’s so into building his brand, etc. by associating with the Bachelor and befriending powerful people in the franchise that he’s never doing to do or say anything too subversive. This means you won’t get the full truth there, or on any other Bachelor-approved podcast or show. I prefer your page in part because it seems more independent.

Comment: Thank you. I agree in that you’re going to hear me come at the show from a different angle than certain Bachelor approved podcasts, because I don’t have an agenda. Or am being paid in some way by the show. Rachel is the most critical of them, and she’s been right when she’s come after them in the times she has. But yeah, I think I can speak more freely on the shows problematic behavior than maybe some others can because they’re on their payroll, or don’t want to ruffle any feathers. However, I don’t listen to those so I can’t say for sure. I only hear what they’re saying when something they podcast about gets picked up by a media outlet. But outside of Rachel, it’s usually never about one of the hosts tearing into the franchise. It’s more about what a guest said or something.

Hi Steve,

Fan of your blog for many years. I appreciate your spoilers because I don’t need the element of surprise in this kind of show because many of the viewer’s wishes and hopes for who they are rooting for rarely pan out in the end. I like to hear what you say, know or speculate on advance so I can try to watch with a different perspective. It’s like studying before the exam to see how much to agree or disagree with you, so thank you for doing what you do!

Just watched last night’s episode and curious to get your thoughts on a few things:

1) did you pick up on Rachel’s shopping spree that Matt said something about how he told her she would get her time. Seems like she has been patient and reassured throughout the process. I wonder if you think Bri and Serena P have had similar experiences. Also seems like Abigail doesn’t get that kind of heads up reassurance. Well, on his first date they both told each other they’re falling in love with each other after going shopping and having a dinner. So clearly his connection with her is stronger than what they’ve shown us. As for the others, he hasn’t said the same to them. So it’s tough to say.

2) I noticed the shopping spree/spoil the girl dates typically go to top runners as you mentioned. Do you think he is told to save the ones you’re more attracted to for the more flashy dates? There might be something to that.

3) This is probably unlikely but I thought Kit might be an interesting pick for the next bachelorette. She’s a little unconventional but wanted to get your thoughts? I don’t see them casting a 21 or 22 year old. That just seems much too young after they skewed older last year.

4) lastly you may of mentioned this before but did Matt get selected only because of his association to Tyler C and the whole quarantine crew with Hannah B? And why did you say that it’s unlikely they would select an outsider again? Is Matt not following the script of what the show wants to see?

Feel free to cut on things you find irrelevant, thank you!

Comment: Robert Mills hinted at it. I don’t have any 100% proof they never will again, but I think they really want to go the route of casting from within the franchise like they did for about 25 seasons in a row before Matt.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. dbla31

    February 3, 2021 at 10:13 AM

    If that first letter in your column today isn’t written by Victoria, it’s certainly written by a friend of hers.

    The conspiracy theory letter was amusing. I’m a little surprised it was written by an anti-Trump person. That sort of rabbit hole is usually reserved for the QAnon types.

  2. angelfish

    February 3, 2021 at 11:55 AM

    I’ve found that if I ONLY read Steve’s bolded answer to every question, I almost never have to read the question itself. It saves a huge amount of time, not having to wade through some of the most interminable “questions” on the planet. Because I’d say at least half are not actual questions, just the writer desperately trying to get Steve to agree with them.
    I still get the info from Steve and support his site, but don’t have torture myself with reading the same questions he’s been answering for years.

  3. crushonspivey

    February 3, 2021 at 12:56 PM

    Next Bachette should be Bri Springs. Or Sarah Coffin if choose from Pete’s girls. Sarah would get the engines revving, and Bri would be a solid pick and easy to root for.

  4. ladyjane747

    February 6, 2021 at 9:16 AM

    dbla31, oh no, that conspiracy theory fits exactly with an anti-Trumper, probably someone who believed the Russian conspiracy hoax for four years with absolutely no valid evidence – all lies and fictional “dossiers” written by people on the Clinton payroll. So, yeah, it follows that she’d believe a whole conspiracy theory about Matt and Rachael based on words on an edited TV show. You’re welcome. Bri is too young and nobody even knows who Sarah Coffin is. I don’t even remember what she looks like. I’d like to see Kelly Flannagan from Peter’s season; she’s mature and smart.

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