-The show started with the Jessenia/MJ war that continued from the end of last episode. It spawned yet a new phrase we can attribute to this franchise and something that will probably be a meme in the near future, and that’s when MJ said Jessenia was bringing that “Weak Bitch Energy.” I guess more people should bring that WBE considering she ended up lasting longer than MJ did, as Matt decided he couldn’t give MJ the rose. Big Hair, Big Hoops, Big Energy? Meet Big Exit. Talk about someone who had a pretty big fall from grace this season. I’m pretty sure a lot of us thought that MJ would be a fan favorite. Not the way she handled herself with Jessenia she wasn’t. Can’t wait to see if she actually sees her ways and apologizes or doubles down on her behavior.
-Rose ceremony time. Jessenia, Rachael, Abigail, and Kit are safe with roses. Matt: “I apologize for canceling the cocktail party…emotional and draining…confident in this process…don’t get a rose, just know I’m following my heart and looking for love…is Tyler here yet? I have an extra rose for him.”
Serena P.: I would talk about you but we haven’t seen you since your 1-on-1.
Michelle: I would talk about you but we haven’t seen you since your 1-on-1.
Pieper: I would talk about you, but this show only cares about people who’ve been involved in drama.
Bri: I would talk about you but we haven’t seen you since your 1-on-1.
Chelsea: I would talk about you…
Katie: Can someone please let me know when she’s headed to GMA? Thanks.
“Ladies, Matt. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. We’ve got Tyler warming up in the bullpen ready to bring him in. And he won’t have to worry at all about us completely cutting out him participating in a date like we did with JoJo and Tayshia.”
Serena C.: Oh yeah, she has an issue with Katie being a pyromaniac or something.
-The date card arrives the next day, and Pieper will be getting the 1-on-1. However, first Serena needs to confront Katie for lighting Nemacolin on fire. Actually, she calls her an arsonist. Ahhh, that’s the word I was looking for. Says Katie had no business telling Matt that there was bullying go on in the house. Katie showed her feisty side by responding back to Serena by telling her she never told him any names, but felt Matt needed to be made aware of some of the women’s actions this season. I was confused by Serena’s argument and seemingly, she got caught up in a producer web, who I’m sure told her to confront Katie, and she did. Poor judgment Serena. Should’ve known better, because honestly, that argument made you look much worse. It was really nonsensical and could’ve been handled completely differently than that. Serena should enjoy her place in the Top 10 because she’s gone next week.
-The other thing we begin to see is Heather showing up to the front gate at Nemacolin in a soccer mom minivan unannounced. Yeah, because this was TOTALLY unplanned, right? The guard has no idea who she is (as I’m guessing most of the casual fans of this franchise didn’t either) so she asks to talk to Chris Harrison. And in something out of a bad TV sitcom, Chris comes down to the gate, and talks to Heather while she’s in her car. He tells her it’s a closed set, it’s not his decision, this is more for the higher ups to decide, but come on in, she’ll have to wait and test and quarantine, and they’ll get back to her. If your intelligence isn’t horribly insulted by this whole scene then, well, it should be. Heather didn’t just decide to show up on her own. As she mentioned, she talked to Hannah Brown her BFF, Hannah thought they’d be a great match, so someone got in touch with production, brought the idea up to them, and they decided to go with it. The second Heather left California on a plane for PA, her fate was sealed. They knew EXACTLY how this was going to play out.
-It’s one thing to bring 5 new women onto the show after only 2 rose ceremonies and about a week into filming. It’s a whole other thing to bring in an alumni when there’s literally only 10 women left. And an alumni, I might add, that I wouldn’t say is the most memorable person to begin with. No offense to Heather, but lets face it, if Heather doesn’t have a connection to Hannah Brown, she isn’t getting on this show. Period. It’s like when they sat down before the season mapping out the show, they decided one episode would be their “Quarantine Crew” episode. Tyler comes in for a date, they make sure Hannah Brown gets name dropped a few times. Perfect! I’m sure producers totally hyped up Heather thinking she had a chance, this would be great for her to meet Matt, and that this could be a fairy tale ending, all while snickering behind her back. Sure, it’s ultimately on Heather for actually believing their BS, but they done did her dirty. Heather arriving at a rose ceremony with 10 women left is basically the equivalent of anyone arriving in episode 5 or 6 of Paradise – you have NO shot.
-Oh yeah, Pieper had a 1-on-1 date. Actually kinda dug this one. Why? The “Bachelor” went with their makeshift carnival date. They’ve done this a few times in the past and frankly, I’m into it. It’s fun, there was probably corn dogs involved, maybe some funnel cakes, etc. Good times. They showed them playing the water gun game and Pieper beat him. That’s great, Pieper. Let me tell you, you wouldn’t be able to beat me. I’m Quick Draw McGraw on that game and I take my water gun skills seriously. Why couldn’t they show them playing basketball into a hoop that’s .00000001mm wider than the ball? Those are always fun. They also went on a few rides, and frankly, after downing a funnel cake, I think I’m staying off the rides unless you wanna see chunks of it splattered all over the place. By the way, can we think of more creative prizes to give away at carnivals? Lets have the stuffed animals for kids, but maybe up the game on what adults can win? Lets send this to Congress and get it passed. Thanks.
-At dinner, Pieper told Matt in past relationships that “talking about my feelings has been my weakness.” The culture in her family, “we don’t say love or communicate love.” And sometimes she says, she needs more than actions. She needs those words. Of course Matt dating 10 other women at the time, couldn’t give her any of those words (and because he’s Robot Matt), but that doesn’t stop Pieper from telling him that she’s falling in love with him, and that’s making her super scared. Trust me, it’s making me just as super scared that someone who’s admitted that talking about their feelings is a weakness just admitted to a dude on a first date that she’s falling in love with him. Again, you just know before this date, producers are filling Pieper up with, “Other girls have strong connections with Matt thus far. This is your first 1-on-1. It may be your only one. You need to tell him how you feel.” That’s how this game works in case you didn’t know. That’s why so many people tell the lead this during a course of a season. It’s because they’re almost forced to, thinking if they don’t, they’ll be passed up by others. It’s why until the end of time I’ll always have a hard time believing anything anyone says on this show. It’s impossible to know how sincere they’re being when we know how this machine works. Are they truly being honest, or are they saying it because of the Stockholm Syndrome they’re in and it’s because they think it’s what the lead wants to hear? I’ll say the latter. Always.