To say it’s been a rough last 48 hours would be an understatement. Not gonna lie, worst two days I’ve had in a long, long time. Not even close. If you watched my live with Ashley last night, the first part of what I’ve been dealing with was talked about for an hour. Then Demi tweeted during our second live last night about a conversation between us that took on a life of its own. So the second part of our live was a mess as I was trying to read the tweet during the live. It was only 15 minutes long and all jumbled, so I deleted it. But I’m not running from it. The first 10-12 minutes of today’s podcast addresses what she said, what I wasn’t aware of, and what I’ve started doing since this came to light. Then Kaci Campbell from season 1 of “Temptation Island” joins me to discuss this season as we head towards the finale on Tuesday night. She gives her opinions on the couples, her upcoming podcast, and we talk about our friendship in light of the recent news. I thank Kaci for joining me, I thank you for all the support I have received from you guys during this time, and if you missed Part 2 of the live last night, I suggest listening to the beginning of today’s podcast.
You can listen to today’s podcast on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)
(SPOILERS) I begin by addressing the recent reports about me, discuss last night’s live, Demi’s tweet, and what I’ve started doing in the last 24-48 hrs. Then Kaci joins me (13:24) to go over this season of Temptation Island as we head towards the finale and reunion show this Tuesday. She gives her unfiltered opinions on the four couples, how it relates to her season, who surprised her the most, her upcoming podcast, and we end by talking about our friendship in light of the recent reports about me.
Twitter – @Kaci_Breanne
Instagram – @callmekac
Podcast Twitter – @kacislivingroom
CampaignZero – link
8CantWait – link
PoliceScorecard – link
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you next week.
iampunka
April 22, 2021 at 11:28 AM
First off, you were at your best when you were snarky. It’s why we came, plus spoilers. It;s why we loved Spivey too. Her blog was awesome with it’s humor, and maybe too on the nose. And there is nothing wrong with being snarky.
As to your sexual comments, telling someone that is whatever until it crosses a line. Sounds like it did with her I guess. Just wish she had told you then, or later one on one since you told her one on one. Putting you on blast in public isn’t exactly fair either. And lets not pretend she hasn’t said some outrageous things herself, which probably made someone uncomfortable. She should have extended you the same courtesy she would want in talking about it. But it is the way of #MeToo. Take you down bro.
And this is what happens with the woke crowd. They’ll come for you eventually. They come for everything and everyone. Social Media version of Madame Guillotine must be satisfied at all costs. It is destructive in ways it doesn’t need to be.
shenanigans
April 22, 2021 at 5:01 PM
For the members of Bachelor Nation who are trying to stay famous and earn a living as influencers, building a relationship with Steve is a necessary evil. On one hand, they know that he gossips about everyone and spreads information about the franchise in order to earn a living. On the other hand, they crave the publicity because their own income depends on it.
All of that being said, the older Steve gets, the weirder his connections with these young women seem. Further, it was presumptuous of him to think that Demi wanted to hear about a sexual dream that he had about her. That was just yucky. However, as I noted above, I understand why Demi didn’t speak up at the time. She didn’t want to burn any bridges with someone like Steve, who could keep her name out there. Her discussion with Bekah finally gave her the validation she needed to express how she really felt.
dwwatchesreality
April 22, 2021 at 5:53 PM
I went through my own “aha” moment about the involvement of power dynamics in friendships as my career advanced, but not having a career that puts me in the public eye, I did not have to go through it in the public eye. Nor did I have the sexual complication, which makes it much more serious. Still, it was mind numbing at the time. I hadn’t realized I had moved from the world of “us” to the world of “them” in the eyes of most of my associates. So, yes, you need to remember there is a power dynamic at play in every interaction you have that involves anyone connected to the Bachelor franchise. I do have real and long term friendships with people that once worked for me, but I learned to approach the relationships much more distantly, and to follow cautiously, never lead. Plus, over time, power dynamics change and someday the footing may be more equal.
Don’t let anyone talk you out of the self-analysis you feel you need to, especially when it comes to the way sexual dynamics come into play. It is important to be aware of how your career position affects all your relationships. I’ve seen decent people cause serious damage and get into legal trouble as a result of their obliviousness. I’ve been in the position to have conversations with the young women involved and see the ways they experienced very real damage, while also having conversations with the older men and and knowing how little they meant to cause any hurt. Our roles are constantly changing as we go through life, and those changes often happen far ahead of our ability to understand all the dynamics that have changed with them. But that blindness can easily result in harm we never intended.
Every successful individual in the world has to learn the reality of power dynamics, and huge numbers get stuck learning the hard way. The best you can do is see it and know that you don’t want to be the person who intentionally takes advantage of it.
As you noted in your podcast, the place to go with it all is simply to “do better.”
Personally, I would resist the temptation to ask people you have friendships with about it. With the exception of situations you realize you are likely to need to make an apology for, I think it is better to let them come to you.
Back in the day, after my “aha” moment, I was really sad for a time. I missed the easiness of being able to joke around and socialize with the majority of my associates without giving it much thought. But I adjusted. People do. It’s what happens when you both advance in and through life. You’ll figure it out.
thereisn0try
April 23, 2021 at 12:13 AM
I don’t know if you read these comments Steve, but
If someone is noting that you hold a power dynamic due to your position in the entertainment industry, then going around and confronting people is probably not the healthiest way to remedy that. If there’s some talk that people may secretly be sharing amongst themselves that they try to stay on your good side – and that to some, this creates a toxic environment – then approaching people to ask them about that is actually in direct alignment with the power issue itself.
Also, as someone who has just been revealed to have exhibited some inappropriate communication with young women in the franchise before, keeping in mind your own status as an older male with an established role in the industry and the optics of that is vital. As a a woman in my late 20s, if a man who held some position of authority in our industry approached me to put me on the spot to ask if I like him and actually consider him a friend, I know that I would be extremely uncomfortable.
Wishing you the best through this time of growth. Finding a mentor or therapist could be really helpful to help you sort these feelings out.
auntk
April 23, 2021 at 3:03 PM
I believe we all need help to learn and grow into better people. Part of this is open communication. When we expect a universal standard that is understood by all, we are asking for people to flounder and fail instead of grow. Either that, or lie to keep a public attention that is critical to one’s perception of self. We’ve seen so much of this with this franchise over the past few months.
When we lose the opportunity to speak our minds, we lose so much, but especially our individual liberty and identity. Only those who conform to some ideal and continue to do so are welcome into the public space. Let us hope that this is not simply a “right kind” of homogeny that we are aiming for.
I understand both sides here – the struggle to speak up in the face of feeling harrassed; but also the need for others to speak so that I grow in places where I have been blind to myself. To me it’s far scarier to drive people’s true thoughts into only hidden environments, to broadcast “because you believe or said ______ you are not welcome to be part of the human community.” This breeds distrust rather than liberty. It’s suppression in the name of a so-called “safe space”; and it’s less than we should aim for.
I only hope that there are those with the courage to speak openly. None of us are static – we all should learn and grow to be better throughout the course of our lifetime. We all make mistakes. We all speak in error and misunderstanding. And we certainly don’t learn by avoiding the situations we struggle in; self-discipline and growth happen in the midst of struggle. I hope that Demi speaks in her voice. But I also hope that Steve uses his still – so we all can learn and grow.
fishbelt
April 23, 2021 at 4:56 PM
Well, Steve, your own woke crowd is after you.
I used to read your column because you WERE funny. Slowly, you started getting snooty and full of yourself. To finish yourself off, you started running columns about your teenage favorite tv programs and jumped on the jokey-woke bandwagon as fast as you could.
The franchise has jumped the shark and so have you. Before you leave, can you tell us why you’ve hated Chris Harrison all these years, a guy you’ve probably never met?
fishbelt
April 23, 2021 at 4:58 PM
Oh, and by the way – how does it feel to be ripped apart like you did to Rachael Kirkconnell?
T M
April 26, 2021 at 7:08 PM
Steve— can you PLEASE put in written form what you have put in your podcasts about the latest issue that you had.
I don’t have time to listen to a podcast, and I like it much better when you WROTE what was going on, instead of doing a podcast…
I’m sure that I speak for other long time readers – YOU are losing me as a reader because you have too many podcasts to cover the same issues…
So – please at least, put in written form what it is that you have in your podcasts, PLEASE!!!!
ctrealitygirl
April 29, 2021 at 6:50 AM
I’m with you TM. I haven’t listened to one of Steve’s podcasts in ages. They’re ridiculously long and filled with crap. I’m guessing RS is just taking the easy route. Writing takes time, while podcasts he can just talk off the cuff. But he meanders and repeats stuff and they’re just NOT engaging. I miss the days of his snarky recaps. He’s so far off course now. I’m getting more Bachelor news on Google News than from this site.
janiel
May 3, 2021 at 5:06 PM
Yes, PLEASE! Especially when you’re talking about something this important. Not everyone has access to audio wherever they please. I would really like to be able to read a transcript, or just a summary or something! Thanks.
janiel
May 3, 2021 at 5:14 PM
Steve, of *course* the people in Bachelor Nation worry that you’re going to write mean things about them. Your job is to write about them! Their jobs are usually to manage their image, since most of them make their living off their social media image. This is going to clash at times.
You can’t have a true friendship with someone who’s afraid of you. Don’t confront your friends about whether this is true or not — you’ll only scare them. Instead, tell them that you’re sorry and you are planning to back off from everyone connected with the show for a good six months or so to reflect, and give them space. If they would like to contact you after those six months are up, they’re welcome to do so, but you won’t reach out to them because you want it to be entirely their free choice. And make them a promise up front that you will absolutely not write anything connected to what choice they make or whether they decide to stay friends with you or not… or about anything else they do which isn’t done deliberately in the public eye.
You can’t completely reassure them, because you can’t realistically promise you’ll never write about them without their consent. That would basically destroy your career. But you can tell them that you won’t write about anything *personal* involving them without their consent; only the things they put in public — it’s already in the magazines or being filmed for TV — themselves. It’s better than nothing.