Reality Steve

The Bachelorette 18 - Michelle

The “Bachelorette” Michelle – Episode 1 Recap, Clayton Filming, Ryan’s Ex Confirms, & There Are How Many Names for Apples?

Photo Credit: ABC

-Once the cocktail party starts, Jamie got the first talk with her to set up his 1-on-1 date next week. Peter got the Italian edit so he brought her cannolis that were NOT from Olive Garden. But Michelle went and picked Joe out of the group because she wanted to talk to him about their previous “meeting.” During the limo entrances, she recognized him, knew his last name, and asked if she’d slid into his DM’s. She said they were talking at one point regarding basketball and then he ghosted her. I never got the impression they were dating, had met, or were even set to meet. She just said they were messaging about basketball and then he ghosted her. So she wanted to clarify what his deal was and why he showed up this season. Joe said he wasn’t in a place to see other people at that time, it was around George Floyd’s death which was like 3 blocks from his work, he was in therapy and just wasn’t in a good head space. Again, is this a line to feed her to look good, or is it true? We don’t know. Michelle seemed to have hesitation because all she wanted was communication. But IF Joe is telling the truth, it doesn’t seem like that ghost job should’ve been taken the way it was, no?

-It’s not like they were dating, they were starting a relationship, they’d seen each other, and then he ghosted her. At least that’s not the impression I got. They started messaging and then he stopped because he wasn’t in a good place. There are worse ghost jobs than that. He didn’t owe her anything if they’d never even met or been on a date before. But again, I’m just going off what we saw Michelle say to him. Maybe there was more to it. With all that said, HOWEVER, regardless of if Joe reacted like he should’ve back when they were talking, and regardless of if the George Floyd death really did play a role in him not getting back to her, there isn’t a guy this season who I’ve been emailed about more than Joe Coleman. And this started back on July 26th, from the SECOND I posted that tweet he was on the show that I reposted on the page 2. And none of it is good. I knew about it. The show knew about it. And supposedly Michelle knew about it. So take that for what you will. Unfortunately I think this is gonna be a story we never get the real answers to and that’s unfortunate.

-Ok, I have to admit something. I’m 46 years old. You knew that. That’s not what I’m admitting. No, what I’m admitting to is Rodney’s apple costume last night led to a conversation between him and Michelle of her asking him what type of apple he was and he said Granny Smith, then she corrected him that Granny Smith was a green apple not red you dope! Ummmmm, not only have I NEVER heard a green apple called a Granny Smith until last night, I thought there were two type of apples in this world: red and green. That’s it. You either ate a red apple or you ate a green apple. Boy was I mistaken. I went to Google and couldn’t believe my eyes. WHAT. THE. HELL?

This is a joke, right? Someone just made this up last night just to mess with me. Has to be. I’ve been on this earth 46 years and I’ve never even come close to hearing ANY of these names for different types of apples. I’m somewhat intelligent, I’m college educated, I’ve eaten apples my whole life, yet, there’s like 900 names for them and I’ve never heard one? I’m seriously blown away by this. I may need some time to recover.

-Ok, I’m done recovering. But that really shook me to my core for the time being. Get it? Core? Apples? I’m hilarious. Anyway, lets get to the Ryan stuff as mentioned on the previous page. So Michelle confronts Ryan after Kaitlyn and Tayshia tell her what they found in his room. She takes him back to his room so he can explain himself and it was a pretty piss poor job he did I must say. I just have some questions:

-This show literally rummages through your luggage once you get there for drugs, phones, anything that you shouldn’t be bringing. So, they either saw all this in his bag and left it there so they could make a storyline out of it, or, it was planted by them to make a storyline out of it.
-I don’t doubt for a second that Ryan took notes and brought them with him. He showed those to her. Granted, it’s still VERY weird he needs to write down notes to remember how to act in front of a woman. But whatever. He admitted to the self-written notes and we see her reading those.
-Ryan admitted he’d watched 2 hours of the show before and that’s why he had any notes in the first place, and that his friends’ wife is a huge fan of the show and she’s the one that wrote some of them to help him out. This was very muddy.
-His “I barely know anything about the show” comment is completely bullshit since we know the guy was the Bachelor in San Jose for the Bachelor Live on Stage Tour. I’m sorry, but that was back in Feb. 2020. We don’t think this guy watched or paid attention to ANY of Clare/Tayshia’s, Matt’s or Katie’s season knowing he was being talked to about being on a possible season? Please.
-However, I don’t know, it seems awfully bizarre to me that the guy literally put folders and folders together of typed up notes regarding past contestants, dream dates for himself, etc. Totally unnecessary.
-I have no idea what really happened and I’m basing this off nothing, but I think Ryan wrote the handwritten notes for himself, but the show planted the typed up notes. Those were WAY too detailed for someone who didn’t follow the show. And while he probably followed it more than he led on, I don’t think he followed it as much as those notes suggested. Even if he just googled all of it, I’m sorry. That’s way too much work for this show. Just show up, act yourself, and try and woo a woman. Folders of copious notes isn’t getting anyone anywhere on this show.
-We never actually see Michelle with the typed out notes standing with Ryan going over everything with him. I thought it was just the handwritten ones.
-All in all, it wasn’t as big a scandal as they made it out to be. At least for me it wasn’t. I’m sure some people think Ryan is the worst human imaginable, but I’m sorry, that was pretty far down their “scandals” this show has ever had.
-All I want is for Ryan to go on his IG or go on a podcast and just answer yes or no to the question: Are ALL those folders of typed out notes that we saw things you or your friends wife typed out yourself that you brought with you in your luggage to help you this season? But something tells me can’t because of contract or won’t. Would be nice to know, though. UPDATE: He joked about it on his IG post this morning pretending he was reading one of the folders with his morning coffee. So again, this really doesn’t seem like this was that big of deal and almost like he was in on it.

ANOTHER UPDATE: I take it all back. Apparently he’s obsessed with Google Docs and this is absolutely what he would’ve done. Exes have spoken. I’ve had on and off messages with Ryan’s ex, Brittany Creel (IG: @brittany_m_creel) for the last couple months and when I asked about the documents this morning, here was her response:

Soooooooo yeah. This guy is bonafide bizzare. That’s waaaaaay overboard.

-Cocktail party time. Nayte is safe with a rose and, geez, if you didn’t know the spoiler, you’d have to believe this guy was at least a front runner. Video package, first out of the limo, first impression rose, first kiss. That’s like the Grand Salami isn’t it? I’m sure Game of Roses has some name for that. Anyway, Michelle: “Gentleman…take chance here with me tonight…can’t be easy to put out there and be vulnerable…not able to talk to everyone this evening…follow my heart…trust intuition…”

Jamie, Leroy, Martin, Spencer, Rick, Clayton, Peter, PJ, Mollique, Romeo, Daniel, Brandon J, Will, Chris S., Rodney, Alec, Pardeep, Chris G., Casey, Olumide, and LT.

Tayshia: “Gentleman, this is the final rose tonight. (Whispers to Michelle) When you’re ready.” Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Back up here. Probably the most different way this line has been verbalized maybe ever. First off, she didn’t address “Michelle” after saying “Gentleman.” Then why she only whispered to Michelle “when you’re ready” when for 42 seasons it was announced to everyone. Again, I need some time on this. Let me process it.

-Ok, I’m done. Joe gets the last rose to build suspense. Even though in any season promo for the season, Joe was heavily featured so of course he was getting the last rose. I really don’t think the editors care about giving shit away in the promos anymore. It’s basically impossible not to.

In case you were wondering: Bryan, Jomarri, Edward, Garrett, Brandon K, and Jack were the guys who didn’t get roses. Like any of us will remember that in 24 hours. Hell, 2 hours.

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