So while I expressed these thoughts on yesterday and today’s Daily Roundup, here they are in writing. Zach I think made 3 key mistakes on Monday’s episode:
-Setting a boundary for himself and telling the audience publicly that he was not having sex on the overnights. He had nothing to gain by making that public knowledge because all it did was set himself up to fail – which he did. Say it to yourself, say it in private, but expressing it to Jesse then telling each woman individually was just dumb. He never should’ve set that standard for himself. I’m sure he wanted to do that, but it wasn’t realistic and made no sense.
-After having sex with Gabi, then tattling on himself to Kaity. What was the purpose of that? What did that accomplish? If she had ASKED him if he’d had sex with someone, THEN it would’ve been fine to tell her. But she didn’t ask him. And you heard what she said. Put yourself in her shoes. How did he expect her to react to that? “Great! How was it?!” I mean, just idiotic of him to offer that info to Kaity when it doesn’t benefit her in any way. Now, I know WHY he told Kaity that, but it’s not for the reasons he said. He was only thinking about himself and his conscience. He wasn’t thinking about Kaity or Gabi with that declaration, plain and simple. Kaity made that clear, and so did Gabi. Gabi now felt gross he shared something intimate between them with Kaity when she never had a say in it, and Kaity never asked for it.
-When I say I know WHY he did it, it’s because it was obvious to me: he knew he was picking Kaity. They guy literally said he didn’t want to start any relationship with any lies/secrets. Well, if he was picking Gabi, there’d have been no need to tell Kaity under that stance because there’d be no relationship starting under lies/secrets, because only he and Gabi would’ve known. He did it because he knew he was picking Kaity, and if he didn’t tell her, then he’d technically be starting their relationship with a lie/secret. He literally gave away the season with that decision to tell Kaity about his sex with Gabi when she never asked.
-Do I think Zach was malicious in what he did? No. I just thinking HE wasn’t thinking about anyone other than himself. Didn’t he even use the phrase “Catholic guilt?” Yes, he did. He’s an adult, Gabi is an adult, and what they did is perfectly fine between two consenting adults. What HE did by running and telling Kaity 1) without asking Gabi first and 2) doing it unprovoked by Kaity herself were huge mistakes. He doesn’t need to be called names, harassed, bullied, etc. And that ESPECIALLY goes for Gabi, who had to shut down the comments on her IG because Toxic Bachelor Nation started calling her out for God knows what. She did nothing wrong. But TBN (Toxic Bachelor Nation, I don’t feel like writing it out every time) always feels like jumping all over the woman seems to be the thing to do. Gabi had every right to be bothered by what Zach did by sharing their intimate night with Kaity without asking her first. He didn’t discuss it with her, he TOLD her he was going to. Wrong.
-Kaity handled it about as well as someone could in that moment. It almost brings up the question, and maybe we’ll find out at the live ATFR, of WHEN Kaity would want to know. Because based on her answer to him when he told her, all we got was she didn’t need to know that at the time he told her. But does that mean she never wanted to know, she wanted to know sometime before a possible engagement, or she never wanted to know, even though it was gonna get out on March 20th because of the episode airing. Maybe we’ll eventually get an answer to that, and that was the question I posed to women in my podcast the last couple days. Most of you seemed to be in the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” camp and sided with Kaity that you didn’t want to know in the moment that he told her. I get that. But it almost bets the next question of, “Ok, I get you thought the timing was horrible at that point, but, when WOULD you want to know?” Before any engagement possibly takes place, after an engagement takes place, or never and if you find out through over avenues, then you’ll deal with it then? I don’t know.
-The whole thing is messy and it’s just amazing how the overnight dates on this show and sex has literally derailed more seasons recently than it ever did. In the past, all we ever got out of the overnight dates was watching the couple check into the room, maybe them getting in a hot tub and start kissing, and then that inevitably led to them closing the door and putting the “Do Not Disturb” sign on the handle, and that was it. We didn’t get next morning conversations either. It was just straight to commercial, then the next thing we saw was the next date starting to take place, and people just speculated that, most likely, they had sex. But we never had 100% confirmation of anything. Just speculation. NOW, it’s like we HAVE to know because these leads are either sharing it with the camera, or with the other women, and it NEVER goes over well. It’s just crazy how it’s changed, because it never used to be this way. Sex shouldn’t be taboo, but in this show’s case, maybe it needs to go back to the way it was.
-Because every person that signs up for this show is well aware if they make it to overnight dates, there IS a possibility the lead is having sex with more than one person. If you’re not ok with that, then eliminate yourself in that moment. We’ve seen others do it in the past. Madi and Susie to name a couple, or, at least they made their stance known at that point. But we know that PLENTY of couples in this franchise in the past who got engaged at the end of filming, DID have sex with someone they didn’t choose just a few days before. And it just was what it was. We know it happened, and it was just accepted. Now, it’s just not accepted I guess because these people keep talking about it? And I’m not just talking “Bachelor” either. Plenty of “Bachelorettes” had sex with more than one guy, and days later got engaged, and no one said a word because it was just accepted. Which it should be. It’s a part of the show, and just listening to Kaity on Monday night, she seemed to take the stance of, “Yeah, I know this is a possibility if I get to this point in the show, and I’m fine with it. I just don’t wanna hear about it.” Just so bizarre at how now every season, it’s become this thing where the lead has to talk about it, or announce it on TV who they’re having sex with, and all it does is cause problems. A definite head scratcher.
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