-In case you didn’t know, Joey plays tennis. You hadn’t been informed of that yet? Yeah, it’s totally his thing. But in case it hasn’t been drilled into your skull yet, they opened the show with Joey giving Jesse tennis lessons. This went well. I think Jesse will be the #1 seed at the French Open in May. Or not.
-I missed about 20 minutes or so from about 7:05-7:25 last night because, well, I needed to hear what CM Punk had to say about the injury he suffered at Royal Rumble. I thought I’d just come back to Bachelor and watch from the beginning on my DVR, but for some reason, it hadn’t been set to record. I thought it automatically picked up the next season when you have a series recording but for whatever reason it didn’t. Woops. Anyway, what Punk had to say was more important than some fake wedding toasts.
-When I turned it back it was right at the time that Joey was choosing who would get his first dance and that was Rachel. That was great and all, but the fact that Michael Bolton performed for them shocked me for two reasons: 1) Usually the artists on this show are some obscure country singer that none of us had heard of and 2) didn’t Bolton form a group with The Lonely Island where he sang about Jack Sparrow? What’s with this solo career, Bolty? I can’t listen to him without thinking of Jack Sparrow, sorry.
-At the after party, Maria will be playing the role of Corinne this season as even though she’d already changed out of her wedding dress like the rest of the women, she changed AGAIN into something more revealing for Joey and within seconds they were making out. Clear physical connection between these two but I know nothing about Maria up to this point other than her dad smokes stogies, she was in “The Pacifier,” and Nick Viall I’m sure will avoid talking about her all season.
-At the after party, Joey also kissed Kelsey T. and comforted Jess who was having a bad day. She told him about her ex of 3 years that cheated on her seemingly multiple times. Joey then started with his theme of the night which was making sure to wipe women’s tears from their eyes, as Lauren was crying as well due to dad’s recent passing. He needs to be careful. With that make fake eyelashed amongst the crowd, he doesn’t wanna be ripping those things off left and right with as much tear wiping as he did. Jess ends up getting the rose and all eyelashes were spared. Whew. Close one.
