And it just seems like when you think about it, it seems like the most logical way to stop all this bullying, because even if someone does it once, if the person who is attacked, let’s just use Claire in this situation, takes that reports. It to Instagram and says this Instagram account sent me this and Instagram deems this totally unnecessary.
They can now say, Oh, that’s Jane Smith. I have, you know, because she signed up under this account. She provided her driver’s license. We know who it is. Now that person now doesn’t have an account. Well, if Jane Smith wants to sign up for Instagram under another account, the second she presents her, you know, ID.
Now they’re going to say like, no, no, no, you’ve already been suspended. You’re not getting another one. I mean, granted, could they, could they go out and get a fake ID? I guess. Yeah. I mean, if someone really wants to do that, but it would just be such a hassle for somebody. It really seems like it could be curbed.
Now, what about people that already have Instagram accounts? Now you’re going to ask everybody, well, you’ve got. 60 days or 90 days to show us your ID attached to this Instagram account. If you don’t, you’re suspended. I guess they would have to do that. Cause everybody’s already got an Instagram account, so I don’t know.
But the bot ones for sure. It seems like, yeah, if you want to create a second account, present, present an ID. I don’t know.
Well, and, and I think the, the, the place that people actually first saw sort of horrific comments being posted was on, like, newspaper platforms, right, in which newspapers would have an article and then people would write anonymous things, you know, in a, in a comment section.
And that has just spread wildly in terms of social media. Again, anonymity almost never leads people to engage in better behavior. And that’s a, a very consistent truism in psychology.
You know, one of the other things that. Has come up in, in bachelor nation is not necessarily well, it is a form of bullying it is, and I’m dealing with it, you know, this season, as we’re currently filming with Jen is, you know, negative information that I get about contestants where someone comes to me and says, whatever about, oh, I know this guy, he’s a total dick and, or I know this guy and he did this now again, levels to everything.
Was okay. This guy cheated on you back in college. Okay. Does that mean he’s not allowed to go on the bachelorette? And that means you want to warn Jen? I mean, Everybody’s got a past, you know, I’m not saying everybody has cheated in the past, but I mean, something like that doesn’t warrant, Oh my gosh, let’s, you know, crucify this guy.
But then you’ve got more serious stories that I have been told, but it comes to me from someone anonymous and doesn’t want to put their names behind it. And this to me goes back to for the longest time. And I know you’ve covered this you know, the me too movement where You have somebody who is the victim of something heinous, whether it was sexual assault or I always go back to this story, but the Matt Lauer case, and the reason I bring up Matt Lauer is because he was taking advantage of, I believe, a very young intern that had started at the today show, like 21 years old or something like that, and you know, he corners her, he makes advances at her and she’s a 21 year old starting out in the business.
Well, if you come forward, Who’s going to believe you over Matt Lauer? They’ve got millions of money invested into this guy. They’ve got no money invested in you outside of. Whatever you’re making as an intern. So it became understandable why for the longest time I have admitted, I never understood why someone came forward years later and said, this happened to me.
But then I saw, then I, when I started reading the stories or in the me too movement, I said, now it all makes sense to me. I get it now why they didn’t because nobody would have believed them or it wouldn’t matter if it was true or not. You were so insignificant in whatever your role was at that job.
They had more bigger people to protect and that’s why, and you probably get it all the time. Victims coming forward now a days with social media victims coming forward now have the ability to be bullied again because the people that like the person that they’re going after are now going to attack them.
Like Swifties, you say something bad about the Swifties, they’ll come after you. It’s same thing with, you know, anybody who attacks whoever that person’s got fans, especially if they’re a celebrity. And they’re going to say, you’re making it up. You’re lying. Why did you wait so long to say something? And now you’re being bullied.
Basically you’re a victim again, twice over. And that’s a huge, huge deal. I
remember reading a quote about Quentin Tarantino was asked, did he know what Harvey Weinstein was doing? You know, all those years, of course, Harvey Weinstein and Quentin Tarantino collaborated for years. And Quentin Tarantino’s quote was, I knew enough to do more than I did.
And of course, Quentin Tarantino did nothing, but so did lots of people. Because again, the same example that you gave of Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein was making people, you know, Oscars and building careers and making people millionaires until lots of people look the other way. And that really does serve to have people just not talk about it.
And, and it really silences victims. And as you’ve said, now you can come out years later and you can still be attacked. for doing so. And that really does inhibit people from speaking up in all different kinds of situations.
Well, yeah, you will be. I mean, there’s no doubt about it. You will be attacked if you come out and say this person did this to me, whether it was sexual assault or rape or any sort of non consensual activity, you will absolutely be attacked for telling your truth because people will say you’re out for money.
You’re a gold digger. You just want to be famous. Whatever the case may be, the famous one always just always made me laugh. I’m just like, really, someone wants to be famous for being sexually assaulted. Really? That’s why you think they’re coming out to telling this? Like it’s, it’s, it’s really ridiculous, but you’ve also written about this and talked about this, about speaking up and why some speak up and some don’t when they know, when they know certain things, like you said, Tarantino said, I knew.
And I knew enough, but I didn’t say anything, you know, what, again, that’s, that’s another a situation that people put themselves in, what causes people to speak up versus what doesn’t. And I’m sure a lot has to do with, you know, protecting their own brand, whatever it may be.
Right. Well, and, and I think one of the things that’s been interesting is you’ve seen people in Bachelor Nation take really interesting and, and I think, frankly, diverse perspectives on speaking up about political issues because there are people that worry If I speak up about, you know, whether it’s a pro choice, pro life position, or how I’m going to vote, or even like issues of gun control, am I going to lose followers?
Am I going to hurt my brand in that way? And I think it’s been really interesting as a psychologist for me to see who is kind of willing to take a stand. about particular issues and who is like, I am just not going to touch that with a 10 foot pole. And I think what the research would say time and time again is that people are more likely to speak out in the face of bad behavior when, and again, that could be bad behavior of sexual assault or it could be bullying.
It could be offensive language, you know, racism, et cetera. But people are much more likely to speak up when they feel empathy for the person or the victim. And I think that one thing that we see is that if you can put yourself in somebody else’s shoes, so if you can say, if that was me being bullied, or if that was me having been sexually assaulted, or if that was my daughter or my best friend, would I want somebody to speak up for them?
And I think that’s where you really see. the power of people showing empathy for each other. I think actually, Ashley Spivey has done a wonderful job of talking about pregnancy loss. And really, I think educating people about how devastating it is and how common it is because that’s also something that for years.
People just didn’t talk about, right? People who had a miscarriage, people who even had a late term stillbirth, people who lost a baby just wouldn’t talk about it. And so I really commend Ashley Spivey and again, there are other, you know, big examples within the bachelor world of people who’ve talked about really difficult things, whether it’s infertility or pregnancy loss or sexual assault, et cetera.
And Ashley isn’t just somebody that says things and posts things. She does post a lot of articles that informs people of stuff, but. This is somebody, you know, following her Instagram stories and speaking to her on text on occasion, literally has gone to Capitol Hill to get stuff passed about, you know, I didn’t even know this.
And I just learned this following Ashley Spivey is the fact that there are many companies that don’t give you paid time off if you have a stillbirth. And I think that she’s doing something to get that passed where let’s get companies giving women time off for. You know, a miscarriage or a stillbirth and paid time off where I didn’t, I didn’t even know that was a thing, but you follow Ashley and you realize, oh, wow, it is.
And she. And I don’t know the extent of what she’s done. I know that, you know, seeing videos of her taking penny to Washington, DC, she’s been on some panels and stuff like that. I, I just commend her for it because it’s not just, Oh, here’s some articles I want you to read. While she does do that, she actually puts some action behind her words.
And I think that just based on what I remember of some of her Instagram stories, it is happening. Like some people are messaging her back saying my company now will do paid paid leave for a stillbirth. Or a miscarriage when in the past I didn’t, I had no idea that companies didn’t do that and I’m like, I can’t believe that was a thing and maybe still is a lot of companies.
I don’t know how, how much it’s garnered support, but I can’t imagine. You not getting paid time off. If you had a miscarriage or a stillbirth, I that’s unfathomable to me.
Right. Well, and, and that’s, I think, a wonderful example of somebody using their platform that is large because of their involvement on the bachelor to really do good.
And I will also say, Ashley Spivey has done a wonderful job of talking about Donating blood about signing up to be a bone marrow donor about rescuing dogs. I mean, like she really has, I think, sort of a constellation of things in which what she’s decided to do is to say, I’m going to create some positivity in the world and, and that’s commendable.
Yeah, no, Ashley, she’s gone above and beyond. And this is somebody that’s not even remotely recent in this franchise. Most people. Don’t remember. I mean, the Johnny come late. These are this franchise have no clue about Ashley Spivey. Couldn’t tell you what season she was on. She was on one season and she was on four episodes.
She never did bachelor pad bathroom paradise. Wasn’t even a thing when she was on the show. She’s on four episodes of Brad Womack’s second season. So, and here she is making the impact that she is. And that, I, that says a whole hell of a lot. I wanted to, I wanted to go back to, to what I had talked about with.
You know, getting negative information on contestants and it’s, you know, in the past. I definitely would just run with anything that was told to me while I vetted it. It was immediately taken as truth. And when someone comes to me and says something about one of Jen’s guys, it’s a really tough position to be in because I don’t want to say, I don’t believe you, but I also don’t want to say, Oh, totally guilty because I haven’t seen anything.
Like, what am I? It’s like almost, what am I supposed to do? If you tell me something about this guy that. Isn’t criminal behavior, but it’s also not behavior that I’m sure Jen would be appreciative of. It’s like, okay, this filming already started. Like, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with it, but yeah, I’m sitting in a situation with one of Jen’s guys where it’s just like, okay, you told me this.
However, the person who came to me with this came to me anonymously and they haven’t, and they haven’t shown me any sort of text messages or they haven’t showed me any sort of proof of it again. Doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And I don’t want to say I don’t believe you, but in 2024, I have to say one, either you have to come forward with your real name and tell this story yourself and provide whatever receipts you can, or I can’t do anything with this.
And then it somehow gets out there and it turns into, I’m somehow the bad guy. Now, when, when I was reporting it before Lucy Goosey, I was the asshole for reporting it because I was ruining people’s reputations, which I’m I understood after the fact that, yeah, when I ran with something that I didn’t know was certainly vetted, but even if it was, it just automatically gave that person a negative perception by the audience.
And it’s just, it’s just a tough position to be in. And just asking advice from you. I don’t know. What should I do in something in a case like this? That comes to me like this.
So to me, I think you’ve actually handled it recently. Again, I know what you used to do versus now again, long time listener. To me, if somebody can’t own what they said and provide proof, then you have no idea if it actually happened or if it didn’t happen.
It could be somebody was, was a jilted lover and they are making up things. I mean, you just absolutely have no idea Whether that thing actually happened or not, but it’s also the case where it’s not your responsibility. If there was accusations of a sexual assault, then that person should 100 percent go and report it to the authorities, right?
There are, there are mechanisms beyond reality, Steve, for reporting problematic behavior. And again, many of these contestants, the person could also reach out to that person privately and say, Hey, Maybe you picked this person, Jen, but I want you to know that when I was in high school, he bullied me, or when I was in college, he sexually assaulted me.
You are not the person who has any sort of moral, ethical, or legal responsibility to be the conduit of that information.
Yeah, and I think what I’ve done over the years, and that’s why people do come to me, is I will give people a platform, but But before I was the middle man taking the bullets and now I’ve just said, Hey, I have no problem if you want to say this, but you’re going to put your name behind it.
And when people have come to me and plenty of people have come to me since I’ve done this one 80 and told me this and I said, okay, you want to come on the podcast and talk about this? And then it turns into, Oh, I, I wanted you to say it. It’s like, okay, I, I’m just, I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna do that. Not that I, but you know, not that I don’t believe you.
But where does that get me if I can’t prove what you’re telling me and I just have to go out there and say, Hey, John Smith did this to the, did this to a girl three years ago, whether it was, you know, something heinous, like a sexual assault or something where, Oh, this guy, you know, cheated on her and gas lit her and he was a total jerk to her because that comes up a lot where I said, that’s where I talk about the levels of this thing.
Okay. A guy was a jerk to you and he gas lit you. I’m sorry that happened, but does that mean he should not be on the bachelor and everybody in America needs to be aware of this about him? I, I don’t know. If there’s a sexual assault involved, a criminal offense involved. Yes. I think. Absolutely, but I don’t know if I’m the person to be the one delivering it.
Just, I don’t know what to tell these people sometimes. And I almost feel like they think, Oh, well, you don’t, you know, great. I’m not being believed in what we talked about earlier. Oh, great. He’s not, he doesn’t, they don’t believe me or I’m not being believed. That’s why he won’t report it. It’s like, no, that’s not it.
It’s not that I don’t believe you, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do if I can’t see any proof. And again, I don’t know. There are things that bad things that can happen absolutely 100 percent where there’s no proof of it. What am I supposed to do?
So what percentage of people, once they’ve shared something with you and you say, sure, come on my pod, you know, write something up and you know, we’ll talk about it.
What percentage of people. Yeah. Say, okay,
five, 10%,
five, 10%. Okay. That’s what I was wondering. Yeah,
no, it’s not very many. They don’t want to put their name behind it because again, of what we talked about earlier, I’ve also told them, Hey, if you want to do this, just know you are going to get attacked. You will be doubted.
You will be called names. People that like this guy that you’re going after are going to call you a liar. You’re going to call you every name in the book. So just know. If you do this and it’s not, it’s not to tell them to deter them from doing this. I’m just giving them a heads up because I know how this audience reacts, which is.
They’re coming after you and no matter how true everything you say is, no matter how much evidence you provide, it doesn’t matter in these people’s minds because the person that they like that you’re going after in their minds can’t do anything wrong. So you’re, you’re the one in the wrong here. And it’s, it’s really, really tough.
And a lot also depends on, you know, for Jen’s guys, we don’t know any of these guys yet. We don’t know anything about their personalities. We don’t know how they walk, how they talk. How they act nothing. So it’s very easy. It’s very hard actually to actually say like, well, this guy’s already disliked anyway, so it’ll be easier.
Now that certainly plays a role when it’s somebody that somebody comes after who the audience already doesn’t like. It’s way easier for the audience to be like, yeah, you know what? I believe that what a dick, but God forbid anyone came out with something about Tyler Cameron or Joey. Not saying anybody has.
I’ve never had anybody come to me with either of them. I’m just using them as an example because they are seemingly beloved by the fanbase in this franchise. But if somebody came out with something against one of those guys, again, no matter how true it was and no matter what evidence they provided, they will be bullied yet again because people can’t possibly believe that those two men and others in the franchise that are liked could possibly do anything wrong.
And that’s where it becomes, you know, essentially you’ve been a victim once to whatever they did to you. Now you’re gonna become a victim twice over because people are going to come after you. And that’s a hard position to be in.
Well, and psychology, of course, would call that confirmation bias or perceptual confirmation, right?
Which happens all the time in
this franchise.
Which happens all the time. And so again, and you also see that, frankly, I think playing out and you have discussed this on your pod. You see it coming out with how people think about the male contestants versus the female contestants and also how you think about the BIPOC contestants versus the white contestants, right?
Yeah. Oh, I, without a doubt, because that’s something that we look at all the time. And the male. The men in this franchise, absolutely. Yeah. You’ll get people that are like, Oh my gosh, can’t stand that guy. He’s so annoying. What a douchebag or something like that. But they are absolutely, it’s kind of got, it kind of goes in waves.
It’s like, okay, initial wave, that guy’s a total jerk. But the men in this franchise absolutely are forgiven for poor behavior versus somebody like. When you really look at it, especially this past season, you know, with with Joey, yeah, what Leah did wasn’t great. And what Jess did, you know, but all they did was say things to somebody on a show that were just like, you know what, I’m not getting along with you.
I, I think you’re a bitch. It’s like, really, is that the worst thing you’ve ever heard? But then these women and the, and the audience just is like, oh my God, Leah, so problematic. Yeah. I didn’t agree with her pulling Medina aside and saying, why are you siding with, you know, why are you siding with Maria?
When you told us. And she’s like, I’m just, just saying like, you don’t need all Bully Maria for, for, for this. But then Leah just became the most hated woman on the show and like, Oh my God, you’re so terrible and people commenting about her and, you know, her being Bikamok certainly didn’t help matters. And it’s just, I’m just looking at it from the outsider’s perspective going, Nobody can do anything right on this show anymore.
Like you do one thing wrong, you say one thing wrong. The audience is down your throat.
Well, and, and of course that happens in the world, but it happens especially, and it’s so salient when you see it playing out in reality TV, because there’s such a large audience and there’s such a ripple effect of people watching it and then commenting on, on it.
And then it just cycles online. And I think that really exacerbates these differences in how. Different behavior is perceived.
And I don’t know if this is the right phrase. I don’t know if it’s self fulfilling prophecy. I can, I don’t know if that’s the right phrase for this, but you know, the show itself is responsible because the show every season tends to focus on one or two individuals that have, you know, problematic behavior or somebody that the audience they know is going to be labeled the quote unquote villain.
And then in return, the show will also release seemingly every season. Some sort of post that says, Hey. Lay off our contestants. These are real people. We don’t want bachelor nation attacking them. It’s just like, but you gave us an edit to dislike this person, whether it was exaggerated or not. It’s like they can’t have a show where everybody on the show is like every it’s Kumbaya for everybody, all the 30 or 25 people that are in the house, all like each other and all get along.
It’s why I say the housewives show exists. Would anybody watch a real housewives? Of Orange County or New York, if every single woman went out to lunch and brunch together and they all got along, there wouldn’t be a show. There has to be conflict. They have to be yelling at each other. They have to be talking behind each other’s back or else you wouldn’t watch.
It’s no different with the bachelor. And I think the contestants now know this. They have to go into, well, I want to, you know, stir stuff, you know, stir some stuff up here. And in return, the show is going to show it. And now the show is saying, Hey, look at our villain. Leave them alone. It’s they’re just as much as guilty as the the contestant themselves Well, and
again, their motivation is to keep people watching right their motivation is to keep people watching to keep people talking about it And yeah, you have to have some drama you have to have not only drama on the show, but you have to have people taking sides.
So as we saw at the end of Joey’s season, this idea of is it going to be Maria or is it going to be Daisy and people really going back and forth on playing their favorites as if it was a popularity contest and it was really going to be an audience decision, which of course it isn’t. And, and that sort of I think, you know, really Is in the show’s best interest, but not in the contestant’s best interest.
For sure. And I, I don’t know where the show goes from here with it because they’re going to continue to do it. They’re going to continue, you know, behind the scenes stuff. I mean, if we really got the behind the scenes of this show, we’ll see how the, you know, the sausage is made, which we never will, but all I can do is share, you know, the stories that I’ve heard is that producers.
Absolutely. When you’re in an ITM and they’re filming you one on one, they absolutely are asking you leading questions that make you say something negative about someone else in the house. And then they build storylines off that. So they can talk all they want and put out their statements and their Instagram posts about, Hey.
Our contestants are real people too. Please leave them alone. There’s no need for that in bachelor nation. When producers are sitting there behind a camera, basically not letting people have daily necessities until they talk shit about somebody else. It’s just, it’s one big, it’s one big cycle that I find hilarious, but I wanted to end with this and that is in what, in In your book, I’m going to get the title right of this one, which is why we act attorney bystanders into moral rebels.
One of the things you talk about in that is about bullying. And then why you know, cyber bullying has led to suicide. I thought this was obviously a big part. You know, it, it, I, I don’t want to say it has happened in bachelor nation where it’s definitely led to this, but we are headed down a road where if it did happen, I don’t think anybody should be remotely surprised because of how bad toxic vaccination can get.
And you don’t want to say that about anybody, but. I mean, would, would any of us be really surprised if unfortunately somebody just couldn’t handle the hate from Toxis Batchelor Nation and did something severe? And you know, you wrote about it and I just want to get your thoughts on, you know, on the whole thing.
So I think it’s a really important topic. So we know that suicide. is, has in fact increased in our society since the pandemic. So suicide is really epidemic and that’s been really a tragedy. It’s particularly acute among teenagers, among young adults. So it’s of course people who are of the age of the Bachelor Nation contestants.
And to me, I think it’s really important to recognize that cyberbullying is not harmless. And as you said, even people who have hundreds of thousands of followers on Instagram are aware of what people are saying about them. And we have seen some deaths by suicide among people in Bachelor Nation. Again, not saying that those were caused by cyber bullying, but people who really struggled with mental health issues and then found themselves in a situation in which It was very hard for them following their appearance on the whatever the show was to have a positive mental health experience.
Again, mental health is very complicated. There are lots of different factors that go in and it’s really not saying that these people would be alive if not for having been on the show. But I think the reality is, It is very hard for any of us to predict how we would feel if we were in a given situation.
And there are people who go on Bachelor Nation assuming I won’t receive a bad edit or I’ll be able to handle it or I’ll just brush it off and they really can’t. And if there are people who are already struggling with pre existing problems in terms of mental health issues, Cyberbullying could in fact be a factor that pushes someone over the edge or contributes to it and again could lead somebody to engage in self harm and that’s just the reality.
Yeah, and I did want to clarify, I caught myself when I was saying it that, you know, we haven’t had anybody, there have absolutely been suicides in this batch of franchises. I just wanted to say that. We have no idea if it was because they were a contestant on the show and it was direct correlation to cyber bullying.
It could have been, it could have played a role. Absolutely. But I guess that’s when I said, like, I didn’t want to make it seem like nobody on this show has committed suicide because they absolutely have there’s. There’s five that come to my head immediately off top of my head. I know there’s at least five that have.
So, but yeah, it is, it is something that I think it’s been at least a few years I think since one has happened, but every season it seems like it’s getting worse and worse with. Toxic bachelor nation and the comments people are getting and the death threats. Who was the one that did it? Was it Sydney or was it Leah?
I think it was or Leah. Was it Leah? I think it was Leah who did the a Tik Tok after the season ended, where she had a screenshot of all the negative messages that she got this season for what she did, which was when you think about it, I mean, on the grand scheme of things. It was so low on the totem pole of what Leah did.
Yeah, it wasn’t the greatest behavior, but I don’t think it was anything worse than some of the other behaviors we’ve seen on this show. It wasn’t terrible. Didn’t have great judgment on a couple of things, but you know, basically the punishment which was all the hate that she got didn’t fit the crime.
And I think she was the one that did a tick tock and it was just these quick, just. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Screenshots of all these messages that she got. I think it was late. I could be mixing her up with somebody else, but again, punishment didn’t fit the crime. It was bad. And you just hate seeing that every season.
I know we’ve had a couple tell all’s where they asked women. I’m not even done it at this recent Joey’s women tell all I can’t like raise your hand if you were harassed or bullied online and basically everybody raises their hand. It’s just. I don’t know when this is going to end. And it all goes back to kind of what we talked about in the beginning.
There’s no repercussions for it and there’s no accountability for it. So until there is, it seems like this isn’t going to end.
Well, I will say, I think. showing people, I actually think showing those messages of, listen, this is what people do. I think that’s actually very powerful. And I think Claire, same thing, showing this is what people are saying.
Ashley Spivey has also done that. This is what people said, you know, no wonder your baby died or, you know, whatever. I think that is kind of a way of showing is this what you want to to be doing? Is this what you want to be saying? Are there consequences? Trying to create a sense of empathy? If this was your sister, you know, your girlfriend, your mother, your whatever, would you want this to be, would you want people speaking to them that way?
I think it becomes very easy to stop thinking about people that we see on TV as real people with inner lives. and complexities and to just sort of see them as an image or to see only all that is good in their life and not see some of the real struggles that they have experienced.
Yeah and it’s just a fascinating conversation to go down and you know we, you know, you don’t wish for anything, obviously.
Bad to happen. And I, I certainly hope that as bad as whoever gets heat this season, and I’m sure some guys will get heat this season on, on Jen season. We just hope it just never gets to that level in any future season with a contestant. You hope they can deal with it. And that’s where I think the show can do a better job of offering more support than they do.
Other than, Hey, you just were eliminated. Go talk to the psychologist. And then after that, Yeah. Nothing, you know, they, they need some sort of presence where people who were off the show, who are then experiencing bullying and spirits thing, stuff that, you know, negative things being said about them that they’ve never probably faced.
In their life before have someone to go to and be like, I don’t know how to handle this, or even have somebody on hand that tells them or some sort of seminar before the show starts where, Hey, this is what’s going to happen at the end of this thing. Here’s what you need to prepare yourself for. And I guess, I mean, anybody can prepare, you can be totally prepared for it, but still actually going through it as a whole different matter.
And until you experience it, you truly. Don’t know and that’s the tough part
and that would also point out. I think the need to not just prepare people ahead of time But to say, we’re going to provide consistent follow up. So after you’ve been eliminated or after your season has ended, we’re going to check in with you once a month or we’re going to check in with you, you know, every couple of months and give you support for the next year to sort of, you know, ride out that period of time.
I think it’s sort of like childbirth that you can go to the Lamaze classes, et cetera, and be like, this is what it’s going to be like. And you really have no idea until the actual baby is there, you know, how it feels. I think providing support to contestants after they’ve been on for some period of time would, would frankly be the morally responsible and potentially legally responsible thing to do.
Yeah, it’s, you hope nothing bad happens going forward. All you can do is, is just say to the people, hey, Look at Ashley Spivey’s Instagram stories, look at what Leia posted, it’s just, they are getting some major, major takedowns from people online who are just keyboard warriors, whatever you want to call them, and, you know, if you, if you feel a certain way about a contestant on the show and they make your blood boil so much, that’s fine, but you don’t need to tell them either to their face, which, Pretty much nobody ever does or online.
Just keep it to yourself. Maybe tell your friends about it. Text your friends, have a, have a group text of all your friends that watch the bachelor and the bachelorette and just say it amongst them. But don’t put it, don’t even put it out. Not even done their Instagram page. Don’t even put it out on a message board or Reddit or anything like that.
Because even then these contestants will see it. But if you’re just texting with your friends. They’re not going to see that, you know, they’ll see anything posted publicly. They will. Most of these people and the contestants on the show have Google alerts on their phones. So anytime their name is mentioned, they get alerted of it.
So just know that Dr. Catherine, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. Another great talk with you. I wish you all the best going forward. And obviously we were going to have you on again in the future, maybe right around the time of. End of this season airing and beginning of golden bachelorette.
We’ll bring you on again, talk about Jen season. And if anything comes of this story that is brewing behind the scenes. So again, thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate
it. It sounds good. Always glad to talk about psychology. Take care.
You got it. Thank you so much to Dr. Catherine for that, just another great conversation.
And, you know, I know it gets a little depressing and dark at the end there, because, you know, we’re in a situation, you know, we’re talking about cyber bullying, we’re talking about suicide, but it’s a real thing. When it comes to this show and I just, you fear for it, it’s, it’s the ultimate fear of this show.
I don’t know if it would be the death knell of this show and it would ultimately kill it if that’s what happened. But It’s possible and you just don’t want it to happen and you just tell people the best thing to do is if somebody bothers you that much on this show or you hate somebody so much on this show, just talk about it with your friends on your own text message conversation with them.
Do not post it anywhere publicly, not even, you know, obviously if you post it on theirs, it’s going to be obvious, but don’t even post it anywhere on a comment section, a message board, read it. Anywhere on the bachelor nation, bachelorette ABC or bachelor ABC Instagram page. So while that might be not be their personal ones, you don’t think Jen or her guys, when bachelorette ABC posts promotional pictures of upcoming episodes and upcoming dates, people are going to look in the comments.
All the contestants and Jen are going to look in the comments. They’re going to see it just because you don’t say it to them doesn’t mean they don’t see it. So I just tell everybody, keep that in mind and just don’t do it. Anyway. Thank you all for listening. I really appreciate it. Follow me on Apple podcasts.
Also rate and review daily roundup was posted an hour, two hours ago, and the transcript for that along with this interview will be up on reality, steve. com. Sports Daily was posted an hour ago. Thanks again for listening. So for Dr. Katherine Sanderson, I’m Reality Steve. I appreciate you listening and I will talk to you tomorrow.
See ya!
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is RealitySteve, or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you next week.
