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  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 7 Recap

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    Photo Credit: MTV

    Remember that episode of Friends when Phoebe changed her name to Princess Consuela Banana Hammock? Well you guys, sometimes-fictional stories morph scarily into real life. That’s right – it’s time to meet GatorJay231SouthsideGawd! To be clear, this is a name a grown man chose for himself.

    The last episode ended with Candace storming down the stairs to confront the guys who said they have no intention of addressing someone with a ridiculous fake name, a pronouncement that caused Candace – who apparently happily calls him by this idiotic name – to explode. We begin with her fury still ignited, but it abates slightly when Gus explains his issue is with the “Gawd” part of his name. It doesn’t matter if there’s a bullsh*t “W” … Continue reading

  • Bachelor in Paradise 5

    “Bachelor in Paradise” – Episode 2 Recap, Ratings, “Secrets” of the “Bachelor,” & More

    21.0K
    15
    Photo Credit: ABC

    You know how not into this Paradise season I am? I watched all of last Tuesday’s episode then completely forgot to recap on Wednesday. I don’t think I’ve ever done that in the 15 years of this site. Yeah, I had “Reader Emails” to do and some other stuff to cover, but I just blanked on writing my Paradise thoughts. Now, it’s not like there was a ton to cover since the first 45 minutes of the show was just intro videos and everyone arriving in Mexico. Not a whole hell of a lot of content there. Then the last hour and fifteen minutes were the Colton and Tia show, which was followed up again last night by Part 2 of the Colton and Tia … Continue reading

  • Floribama Shore

    “Floribama Shore” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 6 Recap

    6.8K
    Photo Credit: MTV

    Full disclosure: I do not follow the reality show people I write about on social media. (Well, there is one. I’m Twitter buds with Ariana from Vanderpump Rules, but that’s because 1) She followed me first and 2) I’m pretty sure she’s f*cking normal.) But the rest of them? Nope. It’s nothing personal, but I figure my job is to write exclusively about the lives they so willingly portray on these shows and I see no need to cloud my recaps with outside stuff. And it is because of this intentional blissful ignorance of mine that I had no idea how correct my first impressions have been of Logan, Kortni’s terrifying boyfriend. Last week I mentioned the way the guy causes my insides to freeze. … Continue reading

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