Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” Incl Ben & Lauren Talk

BenLauren5
Photo Credit: E! Online

As you can tell by my follows on social media, there are very few in this franchise I follow. To me, it’s just clutter on my timeline, and anything major that happens on someone’s IG or Twitter account, I get emailed, tweeted, or DM’ed about usually about .4 seconds after it happens (And full disclosure: There are people I’m following on Twitter who I’ve muted as well. So my 70 follows are more like 63 I think). With that said, in the last 2 weeks, I’ve gotten at least 10 emails asking me the same question of, “Are Ben & Lauren broken up?” I was completely oblivious to any of this until these emails started rolling in. Had no idea. I just figured everything was all good in the hood. A couple of those emails you’ll even see in “Reader Emails” today. Well, publicly they’re not since a statement hasn’t been released by them. I personally haven’t heard anything myself regarding them. But if you ask those who IG stalk them, they all seem to think something’s up. Having been informed of what’s been happening on their IG, and knowing some of the patterns we’ve seen from previous couples who had major social media changes right before a break up was announced, this story could have legs. Just in the last 2 weeks, what we can clearly see is (these are facts, not opinions): Lauren took a girls trip to Nashville. No Ben. She has another girls trip this weekend. No Ben. Ben hasn’t posted on IG in over a week. Lauren did an IG story the other night without her wedding ring on that she clearly wasn’t trying to hide. And last night, her IG profile changed from having the word “fiance” in it, to just having her business contact info. Add it all up, and sure, you can make a strong case that something is up. I guess time will tell. Again, I haven’t been told anything by sources, but I’d say those are some pretty red social media flags. You can’t always put 100% stock into social media mind you, so it’s up to each person to draw their own conclusions, but certainly things seem fishy right now for sure.

Get your “Dr. Reality Steve” emails in for tomorrow. We are low again. I think I have two right now. That won’t cut it people. Lets get to 5. As for the podcast, I’m gonna bring the Possessionista back on for a little mid season review. You all seemed to love her the first time around, and tomorrow’s should be a good one because we couldn’t possibly have more differing opinions on Corinne if we tried. So that’ll be fun. Look for that podcast coming tomorrow. As for the original guest who cancelled yesterday morning? Your guess is as good as mine if they’ll ever come around. I have my suspicions, but we’ll see.

And now, your “Reader Emails” for the week. Enjoy…

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Hi Steve!

My friends and I are really enjoying the podcasts! We all said the same thing recently…It is great to have guests on, but we also enjoy classic Reality Steve commentary. I feel like the podcasts fly by faster than the old video chats. Would you consider doing hour and a half podcasts? Like have a guest on for roughly 45 minutes, then about 30 minutes of your own commentary? I get that it is difficult to plan how long a podcast will be, but I think in this case longer is better. I try to keep them anywhere between 40 minutes to an hour. Sometimes I’ve gone over an hour. I just start talking to them, try and get out everything I want to get out, then end it when it’s over. Someone who gives long, thought out answers (which has been pretty much everyone at this point), always a good interview guest. And that’s why they’ve all been over 40 minutes or so. If someone’s on a roll and I feel it’s going well, then by all means, I’ll just keep going. The clock hasn’t been a factor so far. If it’s a 2 hr conversation, then it’s 2 hours. If it’s 30 min, it’s 30 min.

I really don’t see myself doing 30 minutes of commentary. I mean sure, with weekly podcasts, if I can’t secure a guest, or the guest goes short, I’m sure I’ll fill with something of my own. Or even have a future podcast that’s just me talking. But that will definitely be an exception and not the norm. When you already lay out the spoilers for people, and then you write a recap of the episode, I don’t think I need to give another 30 minutes of commentary about it. Just seems like a bit much. But if there’s a topic that’s hot, or something is brought to my attention that I want to address, sure, I wouldn’t hesitate to do that. But I never know when that’s coming.
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I don’t think Rachel has the same appeal as Raven at all. Even after her 1 on 1 date next week and finally getting screen time, I don’t see her gaining the same amount of fans that Raven or even the Danielles have. That is not just my opinion, take a look at The Bachelor hashtag on twitter. Rachel is not a polarizing character this season. Most of the women watching this show don’t seem invested in her at all. Raven has the same “it” factor that JoJo had. I think most people would agree that Rachel does not have that “it” factor. Again, not just my opinion. As annoying as Twitter can be at times, it does provide insight as to who is more popular. What are your thoughts? Would the goons at The Bachelor still go with Rachel if she is blatantly not a fan favorite? Why would they take that chance? I think the media was making a bigger deal out of not having an African American in the lead role more than people who actually watch the show were in the first place. The phrase “she’s blatantly not a fan favorite” (this email was sent before this past Monday’s episode aired), is way too one sided. Rachel has plenty of fans. As does Danielle. As does Raven. Hell, even Corinne does. We’ve even got Bachelor Nation people defending her. So yeah, you can make a case for anyone, but just choosing to look at the positive social media posts towards whichever one you support. We don’t know what they’re going to do, and saying 5 episodes in is way too early. Let things play out.

Bachelor people hocking everything under the sun on Instagram non-stop…Dana Weiss’ insight on this was spot on. It is comical to watch so many of these people desperately try to use Instagram for z-list fame. When I log on and go to the home page they all pop up non-stop. All the same things, hocked by dozens of them. Many of the scholars in the comments section on these posts actually think these people don’t get compensated and ask them about these products…like they use them. The Bachelor Facebook page comments section is also hilarious. It blows my mind that some people think this show happens in real time and it is not heavily scripted. If you didn’t spoil it, I wouldn’t watch it. Your spoilers make it fun to kind of hate watch…It is almost makes it an interactive version of the Lifetime show Unreal. Will the Instagram hocking slow down once there are too many Bachelor z-listers? In another season or two I could see that happening. I don’t see the Instagram shilling ending anytime soon. If anything, the more season they have, just means the more contestants you can add to the list.

What will the Bachelor franchise do in upcoming seasons to keep the shock value going? Will they change anything to keep relevancy? I feel like this season of The Bachelor is obviously racier than past seasons. It feels raunchier. The concentrate on the “villain” thing is starting to get old. Corrine is not funny or entertaining because it is overkill at this point. How many more seasons can they use to create a villain to keep viewers watching?

Comment: I don’t think they need to do something totally outlandish, or one big thing that’ll keep the show going. They just have to continue to do what they do. Cast people that will draw eyeballs. And then once they cast them, produce, edit, and manipulate it into making good TV. They’ve done it for 33 seasons. There’s no “one thing” that’s gonna keep it going. There will be a villain every season. And even the word “villain” is beginning to take on a whole new meaning.
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Hi Steve,

I was reading Sean Lowe’s sister’s blog and she did an article about her favorite bachelor/bachelorette’s. She mentioned back in the day she asked the crew and Chris Harrison etc who their favorite and least favorite’s were and said everyone had the same least favorites bachelor/bachelorettes.

I’m assuming the least favorite bachelor’s were Juan Pablo and Ben Flajnik based on what you’ve said in the past, but what about their least favorite bachelorette’s? Just curious if you know.

Comment: I think Prince Lorenzo was the least favorite. Chris Harrison has said that in interviews. As for who the favorites were, I’m guessing Sean is up there considering he’s the only “Bachelor” to marry the final girl he chose so far, AND they got a wedding out of it. If he’s not their top 1, he’s top 3 I gotta imagine.
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Hi Steve!

First off, I want to say thank you for all that you do, and for keeping me entertained for years. You seriously rock!

Anyway…I was just wondering if you know why the heck Nick keeps wearing that yellow live strong bracelet?

Comment: Never even noticed him wearing a bracelet. Guess I never paid attention.
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Hi Steve,

I don’t know why, but I felt compelled to respond to one of your reader emails from today. It was the email about ABC bringing Chad back to BIP this summer and how disgusting it is of these people to bring him back into the spotlight. I agree with this person’s take on things 100%.

The comment I wanted to add was that, as I read through that email, all I could think of was how much Chad reminds me of Donald Trump. I know people might think I’m crazy, comparing a reality TV contestant to our *sigh* President . . .but the more I thought it through, the more I thought it was worth mentioning.

I’d bet you every producer on BIP was a huge Hilary Clinton supporter – denouncing Trump at every opportunity. But when it comes to THEIR job and THEIR casting of a TV show, they view Chad as TV gold. I’d develop so much respect for the network if they came out and said “Chad will never appear on our network again. We do not agree with or want to associate with someone like him”. — but as you mentioned, they would never do something so upstanding.

It’s crazy to me that these producers can feel so strongly about our President and his atrocious behavior, yet that’s exactly what they promote by bringing Chad back to BIP.

PS – I have a coworker who told me that some friends recently saw Nick at Bub City, a country BBQ place in Chicago. They took a picture of him from a distance. He was with a male friend. They said that after the pair left, they chatted with the waiter – he said that Nick comes in often. Apparently he’s very rude and entitled. He doesn’t tip and expects to get things for free because of who he is. ICK!!!

I know that you’ve mentioned hearing not so great things about him, so I bet this makes sense to you. I’m someone who tries to see the best in people – so it’s disappointing to hear that he’s a total dick!

Looking forward to listening to your podcast tomorrow. Planning on completing the survey today!

Comment: Uh oh. You talked politics. Let me guess – plenty of people love you now, and plenty of people hate you for what you said. It’s why you’ll never hear a politics discussion on this site. They’re pointless.

Didn’t hear that one about Nick. Entitled? Nick? No way!
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Hey Steve, first off I wanted to say I really enjoy reading your column. Thank you for all the work you do! Do you think since Rachel and Raven are the next candidates for bachelorette, with these candidates specifically that a switch up between the two is likely? If so, they (abc) decided to do a switch up, they pick Rachel first then they switch to Raven at the last minute. Do you think you will know ahead of time like with the Caila and JoJo switch up? Too early to say. I have no idea.

Also I don’t know if you really follow any of the girls on social media but Raven went live on Instagram on Monday before the episode. A ton of people kept asking her if she was going to be the next bachelorette, first she ignored the questions and then she said “you guys keep asking questions I can’t answer.” I was wondering from your knowledge have producers already reached out to both Raven and Rachel already discussing the being the next bachelorette with them this early in the season? It seems like they might have but it’s kind of odd for this early in the season. If they haven’t reached out yet when do you think they will do so? I’m sure producers have reached out to gauge interest on both ends to candidates. As for those two in particular, I have no knowledge either way. But since they’re top 4 this season, I’d be pretty surprised if it hasn’t been brought up yet to one if not both of them.

My next question is since you said you have already heard of some men that might be casted next season, will you be able to tell by who has been casted as the bachelorette because of abc maybe having a diverse cast for Rachel if she is selected? Or do you think even if they do the diverse cast do you think they could/would switch to Raven at the last minute if they wanted to? My thoughts of this whole thing as of what has been shown, it seems like more people are invested into Raven then Rachel. Even before Ravens 1 on 1 more people have seem more interested. Don’t you think if abc was really campaigning Rachel for the next bachelorette they would have put her more in ITM’s and show her more so people are more invested in her. We have barley had any screen time with her besides the 1st episode. I know Rachel hasn’t had her 1 on 1 yet but they have barley shown her unlike Raven in the ITM’s. I know even before Raven’s 1 on 1, Mike Fleiss tweets out almost every episode which women do you like, Raven and Vanessa are mentioned the most. Very few people mention Rachel at all. My personally opinion I would prefer to watch Raven over Rachel. Rachel comes of not very interesting or intriguing to me. She doesn’t seem to have a very bubbly/outgoing personality that most bachelorette that have been selected have. (Another email that was sent before Monday’s episode). I think Rachel is now getting a lot more love than she was after the first 4 episodes, and that’s expected. She finally had her first 1-on-1. But to gauge the level of interest by social media, again, that’s basically impossible. If you like Rachel and want her to be “Bachelorette,” you can easily make a case by looking at social media that more people want her. And you can do the exact same thing for Raven if you like her and want her to be the “Bachelorette.” That’s why I don’t buy the show saying, “We listen to the fans.” No they don’t. They’ll choose who they choose and then can easily say, “The fans really wanted this person” because EVERY contestant has a fan base.

My last question kind of random, since they didn’t show Vanessa talking about Danielle in episode 4, do you think they will show the fight with Rachel and Vanessa in episode 7? If they don’t show it, there going to make it seem like Vanessa has a perfect edit almost, which they never do. They didn’t even do that with Lauren B during Ben’s season. Thanks again for all the work that you do. I hope you having a great day!

Comment: Well, Lauren B didn’t do anything in Ben’s season that rubbed some of the other girls the wrong way from what I was told, so you’re comparing apples to oranges there. As for whether or not they show the Rachel/Vanessa fight in Bimini in episode 7, well, considering they skipped over Vanessa telling Nick during her 1-on-1 time with him that she thought Danielle L. was fake, probably a good chance the fight won’t get shown in Bimini. But I don’t know since I only see the first episode ahead of time.
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Hey Steve ! Couple questions and comments on the season so far, not sure if you can answer this but I know you had even commented that Danielle Maltby is just too normal for this show however she is in Cole swindell’s music video for middle of a memory so did she have sole intentions of going on this show to further her music video career ? Is that how abc cast her from seeing her in that ? How’d she even get to be in his video? I know you said when she was let go she didn’t take it very well was that because she really fell for Nick can’t say I would put them two together, two different kind of people. Yes, I mentioned the Cole Swindell video in Episode 2’s recap. I was getting tweeted at that night about it. She’s not a singer, but she lives in Nashville and her deceased fiancé was a musician. So I’m assuming she’s got connections there. Not to mention she’s good friends with Wells, who’s a Nashville DJ.

Also I love channel 33 podcast “bachelor party” with Juliet followed it also when it was on grantland. Com with Jacoby ” the right reasons”those two were great together so I was very excited for her to be a guest on your podcast don’t know if you can answer this but when did she start her podcast talking about the bachelor/ bachelorette ( the one with Jacoby)? Also how’d you and her happen to meet and cross paths? Juliet did a reunion podcast with Jacoby last week on Channel 33. I still haven’t listened yet, but I plan to get caught up. Not sure how long ago they started that on Grantland. I’ve never met Juliet before. But back when they were doing the Grantland podcast, she just emailed me one day and asked if I’d come on, so I did. And since then I’ve done her show 3 or 4 times, and she did mine once. She’ll be on again at some point.

Up until last night I was not getting into this season at all Nick seems so disconnected from the girls. He just kept talking about his past on this show and no deep conversations only just asking about the women’s past relationships, with other bachelors I could see who they were connecting with and they at least seemed interested in getting to know them. Also he seemed so awkward I know Liz being there probably didn’t help but I thought from his past seasons he’d at least be better tv! He just seemed more real on Andi and Kaitlyn’s season, time to go back to acting classes Nick !!Well thanks for your time if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be able to muster through this season it’s been hard to watch !

Comment: You aren’t the only one who feels that way. I don’t think he’s been terrible, but I don’t think he’s been great either. Then again, these seasons all run together for me anyway. It’s the same thing to me every season.
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Hey steve!!

Also, I finally started Friday Night Lights – I had been waiting for my husband to want to watch it with me but I finally decided he’s dead weight and I started on my own. I know what’s going to happen though, he’s going to walk in in the middle of an episode, get hooked, and make me start over… just like he did with Parenthood. Question- is supposed to be a documentary style (like the office) or it’s just shot that way? I know in the first episode they did interviews before the big game so maybe that’s why I’m getting confused. Not sure how many episodes you’re in to it, but the show isn’t filmed documentary style like the office. They don’t do “confessionals” on this show like the “Office” so not sure what you’re talking about. The interviews they were doing in the first episode was the TV station talking to the players and coaches before the season kicked off. That wasn’t documentary stuff.

Now to The Bachelor

I’m confused as to why you sound negative towards Vanessa regarding her saying Danielle L. is fake. I’m not a crazy fan or anything, I just kind of agree that Danielle L is fake. And from what you’ve said, you do too. Danielle has lied about her job, posed pretty nakey all over the Internet, and just flashed her boobs all season. Her persona on the show is not what I see on her Instagram stories. She seems very party girl and shallow. I guess my question is, if Vanessa called this out, what’s the problem? It’s true! How does this make her unlikeable? I never said anything about what Vanessa said about Danielle. All I said was, during the after party of the Wisconsin group date, this is what she said to Nick. But it was never shown. She used her time with him to talk about another girl. That usually is shown and usually doesn’t go over well. Well, it didn’t go over well with the other girls, but none of that was shown, so there’s not much to talk about. But as for what she said, I’ve never commented one way or another about it.

About Raven — she did a live Instagram video on Monday from a Mexican restaurant and it was obvious she had some drinks before, and they even chugged one on the video. She was being very candid (like she is on the show even), and snarky about Nick and the show. She said that she has 7 friends from the show, and only 7. She said “there’s seven of us,” making it seem like the other 6 all agree that they are a group. I know you mentioned there being 7 at New Years. Anyway, also she is NOT trying to hide that she did not win. She is snarky as hell on Instagram about Nick and the show in comments and replies on posts. My guess is if she keeps that up she won’t be Bachette. What do you think? Will this hurt her chances? I like her candidness and would love to see her as Bachette. To me she’s a toned down kaitlyn. Straight forward. Honest. But also sweet. I’d love it. I don’t see her in the same light as Kaitlyn at all. Nor do I think IG videos like that (admittedly I never saw it) are really that big of deal to the producers anymore. Times have changed. They are letting way more people get away with stuff than they ever did.

Hoops earrings? I don’t know if you care about fashion, but are these back in style? They are all wearing them and I saw Kate from This Is Us wearing hoops this past week too. I can’t get on this trend if they are back. I can’t. Uhhhhh, I have no idea.

I’m wondering if Ben and Lauren over. I know you said you don’t follow them or care but it’s a classic social media separation before announcing. It’s a Girl who is all about their guy 24/7, then all the sudden all about their girls. Posting so many girls nights and trips and barely anything about Ben for weeks. Only a matter of time. Could be wrong but it seems inevitable at this point based on Social Media Norms.

Thanks in advance for answering any questions!

Comment: You aren’t the first to say this to me. I don’t follow either so I don’t know. I looked after you emailed and I noticed Lauren did post with Ben numerous times recently so I don’t know. But there have been A LOT of people that have brought this up, so, maybe there is something to it? As for what I’ve heard, I’ve heard nothing either way.
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Hi Steve.

Just a couple of quick things. The skating rink they were at on Raven’s one on one is called Waukesha Skateland. I grew up near Waukesha and it was a great place to go on group dates and just hanging out with friends. The actual rink area is almost exactly the same as it was during my high school years.

Next: I live in NE Arkansas now and the ABC affiliate from Jonesboro covered Raven and Nick’s conversation entirely. That affiliate also covers the Hoxie area. So someone in Little Rock pulled the plug purposely. This is a good ole boy state that depends on who you know. Get what I mean?
Have a Great Day.

Comment: Yeah, I think that conversation wasn’t shown in only a couple Arkansas cities, neither being those. The whole thing is definitely shady, and I just don’t think any can ever convince me that was completely coincidental.

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5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. hales

    February 1, 2017 at 12:49 PM

    Well, the rumors about Ben and Lauren have already been debunked by his latest Instagram post (https://www.instagram.com/p/BP-zVoJFU4B/?taken-by=higgins.ben)
    Isn’t it sad how many people hold a material item in such high regard when it comes to love? If she’s not wearing the ring they must be over? Hell, if I had a $100k ring I wouldn’t be taking it on a trip to Mexico either! I listened to Juliet Litman’s podcast a few weeks ago when Ben was on. He said that was his first day back at work at his software job. Maybe that has something to do with the less frequent posting?

  2. purplerayne

    February 1, 2017 at 2:35 PM

    yeah, im guessing ben’s job in the real world has a lot to do with why he doesnt post as much, or why they dont post as much together. BUT it is odd she removed the title of Fiancee from her bio.

  3. cjscjs711

    February 1, 2017 at 7:51 PM

    Chad = Donald Trump? Not by a long shot.

    Chad is also narcissistic but really not much more so than the average working model. Chad also has a sense of humor; Trump you’ll see, rarely makes a joke, rarely laughs either. There are so many differences, especially in degree and how their narcissism affects their functioning, which is the real key in needing tretment. Many of the bad scenes with Chad happened when he was inebriated. I wish Trump’s bad scenes were the result of inebriation, then all we’d have to do is keep him away from the sauce.

    Another random example, Chad volunteered for the military and was inducted into the Marines where he served until he finished, with honor. Trump, on the other hand sought 5 draft deferments. As he neared the end of his last student deferment he sought a medical deferment. When the first exam failed to disqualify him, he had another done and won the deferment. No, please don’t whitewash this guy and say he’s no worse than Chad. So many ways….. Chad strikes me as a Trump supporter rather than Hillary, but that’s as close as I’d get.

  4. sarahparker

    February 2, 2017 at 7:48 AM

    Would you consider asking readers to please leave political comments out? It’s one place we can get away from it and I cringe as there are plenty of political forums. I need a safe space?

  5. jlal

    February 7, 2017 at 4:23 AM

    It is obvious to me that the producers are keeping Corinne on the show. Or, the producers and Nick are both to compensate for Nick’s lack of personality. I would think and have heard that the lead picks a few they like and the producers pick the rest. At this point Nick probably has one or two he wants and leaves the rest up to the producers.

    I feel like it is the Corinne show, just like last season was the Chad show. From someone who has watch from the beginning, it is sad to see how over produced and manipulated everything and everyone is now.

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