Podcasts

Podcast #17 – Interview with Sharleen Joynt, Also “Reader Emails,” and “Dr. Reality Steve”

Hey Steve!

Just a couple of really random questions.

1. Kacie B. seems like a such a sweetie but did you notice the little fib she told at the beginning of that podcast?! She said that she & Rusty never watched Sean’s season. Then towards the end she starts talking about Tierra and says “I watched it when I got home!” Just something kinda funny I noticed right away! Wondering if you did or if anyone else has mentioned it? But didn’t she say she didn’t meet Rusty until her season was done airing? He may never have seen it.

2. I know there’s no way for you to really know this but sometimes when I’m reading your crazy reader emails I get the feeling that it is a contestant asking you about themselves haha. Or maybe trying to get their side of the story out. Just something I was wondering if you ever thought about!

Thanks for keeping me entertained with all your BTS on my favorite show!

Comment: I don’t think it is. I don’t do much thorough searching when I get a moronic email. I’m just giddy to send it to the “Reader Email” folder knowing they’ll provide entertainment when people see it. People like that are pretty helpless. We all need a good laugh once in a while.
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Hey I just had an idea since kimmel always pretends his wife predicts accurately with no credit to you. Why don’t you post the spoilers for the new season after JK films his show but BEfore it shows?? (I think they film in the afternoon for an evening show) That way he cannot get the spoilers from you but you will be able to release spoilers before he does so he can’t say you got them from him.

Comment: Kind of impossible when I’m spoiling in real time now. I wouldn’t change what I do so Kimmel has a harder time. That’s not my job.
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Hey Steve,

Your podcasts are outstanding! I love every second and will listen for as long as you make them. It’s so fun to hear from past contestants. Michelle’s interview with you was fascinating as well. I can’t wait to hear from Sharleen.

You asked JJ which Nick shows his daughter watches. I’m curious what your niece and nephew watch? My kids (ages 6&9) watch Henry Danger, Thundermans, Game Shakers, and Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn (which is a ridiculous name so I annoy my kids by calling them Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky and Mike). Honestly, I’m not over there after school much so I’m not sure what they watch when they get home. But when they were here a lot in the summer, I wanna say the Thundermans, Liv & Maddy were two I definitely remember. I’d know the other ones if I heard them.

Some other random questions. Word on the Instagram street is that Luke is dating Danielle L. I was expecting them both as paradise possibilities. Would they bring them on to “test their connection?” If they last that long… Didn’t you say that Danielle doesn’t actually own that nail salon chain? Who knows what that is. “Dating” in the “Bachelor” world is so vague. Two weeks before that story, Luke was doing kissy kissy photo shoots in the snow with Lauren Hussey, who claimed they were together. Just another “Bachelor” dude playing the field. They all do it.

What exactly does she do then? Last question, I think someone asked before, did we ever figure out who Pacozero is? This season’s girls are really kissing up to him. He makes lots of memes about them. Some are pretty funny.

Thanks!!!

Comment: No, I don’t.
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Hi Steve!

Longtime fan of your site! Really been enjoying the podcasts. You’ve had some great guests! Haven’t listened to most recent one yet where Michelle Money interviews you but I’m looking forward to it!

I have a comment and a question:

I noticed that on AFTR, when Nick was brought out to join Vanessa, they didn’t do a recap of Nick and Vanessa’s “journey” on the show. Usually they’ll take a look back at clips of them falling in love over the course of the season, or they show the proposal again and we get to see them watch together. Correct me if I’m wrong but usually they’ll do this, or like last season they showed Jojo and Jordan’s People magazine cover. I’m sure bringing up those happy memories/moments definitely makes the couple a little more relaxed on stage and warm towards one another and more visibly happy. I mean, I definitely agree with you that they did not seem happy or in love, but I also feel like Chris Harrison only asked negative questions and focused on getting them to talk about how hard things were/are for them. Just gave off an overall negative feel, as if the show isn’t buying that they’ll last. I wonder if ATFR cut Nick and Vanessa look back/proposal recap because of the whole Rachel surprise that they needed the extra time for. Not that it makes a difference, just thought it might be worth noting. Chris absolutely pounded away at the negative. Sharleen and I talk about this today on the podcast. And yes, they do show their proposal. Don’t know why they didn’t with Nick and Vanessa.

Anyway, my question is, have Rachel’s guys already had their phones taken away or moved into the mansion yet? If not, I wonder how peoples reactions on social media of the guys who got introduced tonight would affect them heading into Rachel’s season. Like if they knew they were well received and liked by the audience (the last guy), or if they already put people off (like the dude with the cringe-worthy comment about going black.) how that would change the way they interact with Rachel and the other guys in the house.

Hope that makes sense! Again, love your site and appreciate the spoilers every season!

Comment: Yes. Their phones are taken once they’re picked up at LAX and taken to the hotel they’re staying in.
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Hi Steve!

I emailed you a few years ago hoping you would release audio versions of your column so I could listen on my commute. You weren’t thrilled by the idea but I am SO GLAD you came around (and podcasting took the world by storm). Your podcast has been fascinating. You ask all the right questions of your guests and seem to make them feel comfortable. You have a very natural radio presence and I look forward to hearing you every Thursday! I download it as soon as it’s available on my lunch break- I’m a teacher and it’s a wonderful break from reality.

A few questions-

1) Can you please rank the 3-5 contestants who have been screwed over the MOST by producers? (Maybe it’s an edit like Rozlyn or a situation like Melissa). I love hearing your analysis. Tough to rank, but I’ll just throw out there Courtney, Olivia, and I’m blanking on a third one. Can’t remember.

2) If so many people are desperate to go on BIP- why do we end up with such a C list cast? Why do we get people eliminated in the first 3 episodes if there are so many people who want to do it? Not everyone wants to do it. And we basically get most of the main casts from the previous season. Last year, 13 of Ben’s girls showed up on Paradise, which was the most recent season of females, and 9 of JoJo’s guys did. They obviously can’t do the #1, 2 or 3 guy in the “Bachelorette” season airing because it’d give away the ending. But then again, now that they’ve announced Nick and Rachel early, I guess anything’s possible going forward.

3) Was it just me or was every question Chris asked Nick & Vanessa on the ATFR getting them to defend it? Outside of Juan Pablo I can’t remember a recent bachelor they poked at so much. Like no positivity…Yep.

4) With Rachel announced so early- it seems like a lot of the attention was taken from Nick. Have you heard anything about him being pissed about that?

You’re awesome! Thank you!

Comment: No, but I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled with it.
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Hi Steve!

I have been a huge fan for years and love your podcast.

Agree with you that Nick and Vanessa will not last. What are the chances they’ll break up and Nick will appear on Paradise to win back Raven? Now that would be entertaining!

Comment: Zero chance.
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Hi Steve!

Love your page! Do you know why certain girls such as Olivia Burnette and Lauren Hussey were not at the WTA?

Comment: Probably because they were eliminated on the first night, and very few first night people ever get to attend WTA. Unless you made a huge impression – like Ryan McDill on Kaitlyn’s season.
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Hello Steve,

Do not know if you are taking reader emails this week, but just had to comment on the final historic show last night. Yuck!

Did not like their choice of bachelor, but watched anyway for the entertainment and cat fighting. And, of course, to keep up with Reality Steve and his insights.

My least favorite part is the limo entrance in seeing many men or women climb out and introduce themselves. Half will all be gone shortly, so don’t want to invest in getting to know them. So this was our surprise? Just what I wanted to see. I also thought the new couple looked rather unhappy and with Vanessa kind of letting us know they have been having problems, it certainly showed. Then, this morning I read online’s People Magazine stating how everyone noticed the ‘unhappy’ couple. Nick can’t even keep a woman for a few months. Perhaps it’s him, he needs to concentrate on his relationships rather than his fame. Now he is going to be on my favorite show DWTS! Why? Hasn’t he had enough TV time? I guess he will be hitting on his dancing partner next.

Well, now that I got that off my chest, just wanted to thank you for all your spoilers. The show would not be the same without you Steve. It’s like having a behind the scenes insider letting us know what really is going on. BTW did you notice how most of the audience picked Vanessa as his choice? I think they owe that insightful prediction to our Mr. Steve. The Bachelor franchise should also thank you as I think we would all have been bored by now if it weren’t for a nice background exploratory.

So I just have one question, a silly one, but I have come this far and don’t want to waste your space. When Vanessa and Raven were filming the last episode in the snow, where did they get those outfits. You mention that they bring their own clothes so how did they know to pack heavy coats and boots had they no knowledge of where they would be traveling. Those coats would need their own suitcases for sure.

Thanks again Steve, keep up the good work!

Comment: They’re told to pack for all weather conditions. Plus, once they get far enough, they are taken shopping by their handler and they’ll have stuff bought for them. Not to mention, clothes given to them on trade.
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Hi Steve,

When you say that Nick was never going to marry someone from this show, is that another way of saying that Nick would rather marry someone more high profile than a contestant, or perhaps a celebrity? No. Just means he didn’t go on this show to find wife (despite what Sharleen thinks in today’s podcast).

Did Desiree and Chris do Jimmy Kimmel Live when her finale aired? If they did, wouldn’t someone from that taping have let you know that she wasn’t there with Brooks? I’m sure they did. Guess no one who was there contacted me that night or else I obviously would’ve.

Why does the girl getting dumped stand at the alter and give that long drawn out declaration of love before the bachelor says anything? If it were me, I’d stand there and wait for the bachelor to say something like Vanessa did last night.

Comment: Good question. No idea.
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Hey Steve,

I am really enjoying your podcasts. Keep them coming!

Just a couple of thoughts from last night I wanted to share. Nick and Vanessa publicly shared what you tell us goes on with every couple every season. While I have to agree- it’s not looking great for those two, their honesty was actually refreshing. They’re the first couple who has admitted what a weird situation it is and how far from real world dating the show really is. We have seen so many couples act so in love on the After, only to breakup shortly after. Part of me thinks Nick and Vanessa actually have a chance, because they’re realistic about their relationship. If anything I would think you must somewhat appreciate them painting an honest picture (since that’s what you are always doing in your columns.) That being said, Vanessa could have been a little more positive…there was no need to jump straight to the negative (but maybe it was nerves?) They did seem much happier and more comfortable on the morning shows today.

Thanks for doing what you do!

Comment: This is something that Sharleen and I dive into pretty heavily on the podcast. And have completely differing opinions.
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Hey Steve, thanks for always being at the top of your game and congrats on another season.

I know this is close to impossible to guess, but if you HAD to guess, do you think Rachel will end up with a black or white suitor? I think she’ll end up having one black and one white contestant in her f2.

Comment: If you’re forcing me to guess, I’ll say black. If you’re about to spew out “Oooohhhh that’s racist,” just realize that in none of the previous 33 seasons do I think that you thought for a second any previous lead would’ve picked a black person. Same difference. Self admittedly, she’s attracted to black men, has never been serious with a white guy before, so yeah, I think she’ll pick a black guy. Don’t think I’m going too far out on a limb saying that.
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Hi Steve.

Great recap as always and the whole season you were spot on. You are the only reason this show is bearable (even remotely) to watch. That being said, thank God for DVR because there is no way I could watch it without being able to fast forward through 60% of the scenes. A few observations from last night.

1. Wow, that was painful with Vanessa and Nick. They both looked miserable. I give them a few weeks max.

2. Did you notice that both Raven and Rachel said they were happy for Nick. Neither one said, “I’m happy for them or happy for her.” I think that shows you were spot on about the fight with Rachel and how disliked Vanessa was in the house. I did not find her personality to be very friendly or especially warm. She is super annoying as well. You aren’t the only one with that opinion. And yes, I did notice that from both Rachel and Raven.

3.I think Vanessa has either a huge ego, is really stupid or is just a huge fake, possibly all 3. She said over and over how leaving her family was a deal breaker (no missing Sunday dinner) and how important her life is in Montreal. Did she think she was just going to luck out and meet a guy from Montreal on the bachelor? Did she think she is just so fabulous that the Bachelor would be willing to uproot his life and be with her? Or, did she figure no matter what happened she’d get some exposure and get to do something easier to make money than being a special needs teacher which she really doesn’t love as much as she lets on since she thinks it makes her seem sweet and endearing. (you can see, I am no Vanessa fan) I can’t answer for her. I have no idea. I just think she’s like any other contestant. You have a 1 in 25 shot to be the “winner” at the end. NO ONE goes into this show thinking/knowing they’re going to win. And if they say they are, they’re lying. They all say the same thing. Vanessa is no different.

4. Raven definitely seems like a nicer person but I find she has the oddest face and looks one step up from being related to the banjo player in Deliverance. There is some backwoods DNA really close to the surface there. Ouch.

5. Did you notice Chris H. didn’t ask Raven anything about the Big O? No, he did not. And that was AFTER he teased he would.

6. Did you see some promo where Chris Soules was saying Nick just wants to be famous? I wasn’t sure if that was a set up or is Chris going to roast Nick? He said it in an interview. You think he’s wrong?

7. Can you promise me that I never ever have to watch Nick’s mom cry on national television ever again. Can you make his entire annoying family go away? (what do you bet they are on Family Feud sometime soon, maybe them vs Corrine’s family?) I’m surprised they weren’t at the finale but we all know how much they hate attention. (HA!) That’s right they weren’t. They must be sick of all this.

8. Do you think they’d ever do a season with all former contestants? Kind of like Survivor does…. Might be interesting.

Comment: No.
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Hi Steve!

Thank you so much for spoiling another season. This one was painful to watch so I appreciate your recaps to help me get through it.

So almost everyone can see that Nick and Vanessa aren’t booking venues anytime soon. That being said which of these couples are you most surprised to see still together and seemingly happily married?

1) Jason & Molly
2) Sean & Catherine
3) Desiree & Chris

None of these. After seeing their lives on social media, they all seem to work well. Sean & Catherine I never thought would get married, so if you’re forcing me, I’d say them.

Also do you know anything about any potential feud between Whitney & Liz. I noticed at the WTA Whitney was the only one who questioned Liz’s motives & she sat there stone faced as all the other girls applauded her. It was weird.

Thanks again!

Comment: Not aware of any.
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Hey Steve,

Not a major issue but I figured since you don’t have any questions so far this week I would throw one out there. I wrote you a couple months ago about my college football coach boyfriend and our break up. Now that I’ve left him I moved back home to an awesome job surrounded by a ton of friends and family. However, I am living back at home with my parents. UGH. I’m 24 and refused to be 25 living with mom and dad. It’s nice to be able to be saving a ton of money each month, but I am also about lose my mind. My parents are good people who do a lot for me, but I am also a firm believer that at a certain age (I.E.: 18) you should NEVER be back home. I am trying to sympathize with the fact that my parents have been empty nesters since I was 17 and that this is an adjustment for them too. I am actively looking for places but don’t want to jump into a lease. Any suggestions for how to deal with this “transition phase” without being on the 5 o clock news for murder?

Can’t wait to see you at the party in June…Hope Michelle Money will be there!

Comment: You were right for moving home. Nothing wrong with that. However, yeah, I can imagine that can be a bit of a beating. Just do it until you saved up enough to move out. Know it’s the right decision for the time being.

I hope Michelle can make it too.
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Hi Steve!

Reader from Finland here! I’ve been watching the last few eps with
great interest, and I have to say, that Santa stuff was so awkward.
But I can confirm that that was no producer in a Santa suit. Santa
spoke fluent Finnish. Lots of people probably make a living playing
Santa for tourists…

They were really lucky to get that much snow in November, though! I
remember that week when you spoiled that they were in Finland – it was
snowing a lot, even in southern Finland, and that never happens in
November.

Anyway, question: WHY are they still advertising for people to sign up
for the Bachelorette?? That’s just weird. Are they scouting for next
year’s contestants already?

Comment: Because they take their audience for morons. And it works because I had people tweet at me believing them.
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I’m glad this season is over. I found it painful. Because of my schedule I watched most episodes from my DVR and I fast forwarded through most of them. I know this show continues to have good ratings but the producers need to be less lazy overall of they will loose viewers. For me it started with the selection of Nick. We knew him too well. We knew he liked brunettes with strong personalities, we knew he was from a large family in Wi, we knew he left Chicago to pursue a life in California. I didn’t find any surprises along the way and it made for dull television. Its over now but they would have had more of a story to tell if Luke had been the bachelor. Having said that I bet he’s happy he wasn’t picked. He’s been able to pursue his music and get a lot of free publicity because of his ties to the show. He can still pick from Nick’s cast offs without dealing with the silly fake engagement. If there’s a winner from this season it’s Luke.

I’m loving the podcast! Like many others have said I spend a lot of time in the car and I listen to several podcasts. I’ve been happy to add it to my rotation. Regarding podcasts, I listened to a little bit of Ashly I’s so you and your listeners don’t have to, Its beyond dreadful. She was interviewing Jade and Tanner and among the topics was if they had period sex. If I was interviewing them this wouldn’t be in the top 1000 topics I’d cover with them. It was awful. If she thinks this is going to be her future career, good luck! Great content. Hey, different strokes for different folks. Just know I don’t crack open the mic right before I start recording. I put some thought into the questions and the flow of every interview I do.

I’d love to have you interview Whitney Bischoff. I might be in the minority here. But I find her more interesting than most of the prior “winners”. And no I don’t care why Chris and she broke up. I’m sure they just didn’t know each other that well and it didn’t work. I am curious why she mostly walked away from the bachelor world. She’s never sold stupid stuff on her social media or done endless watch parties. And she’s never said anything bad about Chris. He was smart to pick her. Her silence lets him still look like a “good guy” and continue to make a lot of money from the show. Compare that to Josh. A lot of people love him but others will always look at him as a complete tool. I’m sure he’d be making more money post show if Andie had kept quiet. I know recently she’s been using social media to get some freebies for her upcoming wedding and to promote egg freezing via her work. But that’s way less lame than selling sugar bear hair vitamins. I also think her relationship with Kaitlyn and Shawn is interesting. Bottom line I think you (any only you) would get some interesting information from her. We’ll see.

Enjoy Vegas this weekend! I’ve been there once during the tournament and its a blast. My hubby and I love March Madness. We do our best to ignore our kids and watch as many games as we can. I’m entering your bracket challenge as soon as I send this email. I think its a wide open tourney this year so it will be fun!

Finally a shout out to Nell Kalter. I don’t watch any of the Real Housewife shows or read her recaps of them. I did read a couple of her recaps of “Are You the One” last year. I was intrigued enough to watch the show. Now I’m hooked. I watch it with my college age daughter and we discuss how you SHOULDN’T let boys treat you while dating. I miss her sarcasm this season.

Comment: Nell is a great writer. I’ve told her I envy the way she can tell a story. I can’t hold a candle to her writing. She’s really smart and funny. Go read her stuff if you haven’t on the Housewives franchises and Vanderpump Rules everybody.
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Hello! I was reading your post on how the 4 men introduced yesterday from Rachel’s season were all from LA and that it could indicate last minute scrambling for casting. Do you know if they had a difficult time finding suitors? Or did they pick those men since they already live in LA and the show was taped live in LA? Just curious. Thank you for your time!

Comment: I don’t know that. I do know that other men on this season who don’t live in LA arrived Sunday. Don’t know why they chose those 4. Could be just random.
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Steve

A lot of people have been complaining that you have been too critical of Nick. Every comment that you have made about Nick since last summer on paradise, as well as this entire season, have materialized, and been proven to be one hundred percent true. Long time readers of your site know that you don’t make critical statements about people just for the hell of it, but there are actually facts supporting your comments in regard to contestants. I was initially fooled at the beginning of Chris Soules season, and really believed he wanted to find a wife. You made it clear before Chris even started his season, that he was only there to build his brand. I didn’t believe you. At the end of Chris Soules season, all your comments about him were, as usual, proven absolutely accurate. Chris actually had the audacity to go on ET yesterday, and say that he thought Nick loved being famous. I think Nick and Chris are two of the most insincere brand builders that we’ve ever been subjected to coming out of the Bachelor.

I had a couple of questions following the podcast of Michelle interviewing you. Was your Dad disappointed when you stopped working with him? No. He knew I wanted out and I could support myself with the website.

Your Mom said on the video chat that she was proud of your accomplishments with your site, is your Dad proud of the business that you have created all on your own? I believe he is, yes.

And finally, you have always been candid about liking Emily O’Brien. Did you side with Emily on the Emily/Courtney feud on Ben Flajnik’s season?

Thanks for another season very well spoiled.

Comment: I really didn’t take one. I can’t remember if Emily and I have even ever talked about it. I don’t look at Emily as “Emily O’Brien from the Bachelor.” She’s Emily O’Brien to me.

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. yoyotono

    March 15, 2017 at 6:56 PM

    It seems like a lot of contestants don’t do their former jobs after the show. A reader mentioned Taylor, Chad couldn’t do real estate anymore so he started a fitness website. Nick and Ben didn’t go back to their sales jobs, Andi quit her district attorney job in Atlanta…etc. It seems like a lot of girls start blogs and do fashion stuff in addition to club and product promotions. Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt they make a ton more money doing a few instagram posts every month for tea and vitamins. Andi, though, went to college for a long time and it took her a lot of work to get her district attorney job. Maybe she’s doing something in that line of work in NYC?? Also, I applaud Kaitlyn for calling out Mike Fleiss and doing her own thing with City Strong with Shawn. Obviously she made an awkward Jimmy Kimmel appearance with Andi and Nick prior to this season.

  2. hales

    March 16, 2017 at 10:16 AM

    @yoyotono During an interview on Litman’s podcast in January, Ben said that he just started back at his old job. Maybe some other contestants/leads will follow suit with trying to resume normal life. I was also just listening to Taylor Nolan’s interview on the podcast Here to Make Friends and she was discussing how she was delaying going back to work because it wasn’t safe. Good quick listen if you have a chance.

  3. impromptublue

    March 16, 2017 at 1:35 PM

    Loved the podcast with Sharleen! (made an account to say this)

    Lots of cool anecdotes, but my favorite was the elaboration on how she met Andy. His first impression of her was hilarious.

    I was also a little surprised to hear about her biggest regret. I have to say, as I get older (I say from the wise old age of 23) I’m starting to realize that “the stability of a quiet life with loved ones can be worth more than glory and grandness” isn’t a COMPLETE platitude. That said, I think alternate-world Sharleen with her graphic design 9-to-5 might be envious of this-world Sharleen’s life. Maybe the day-to-day of being a working singer isn’t as glamorous as it looks, but she gets so much more societal respect from being an opera singer than she would if she were just another fashion blogger. And social status isn’t nothing!

    I’ve made the opposite decision in my own life. Instead of pursuing academia in a field that I have a good amount of natural talent in, I have a corporate job in a field that pays very well. It’s not drone work, it utilizes my analytical abilities, it can be fun… but no one’s going to be like “wow, she’s a [type] engineer!” the way they would with “wow, she’s a [field] professor!” At least not in my social circle. And I feel some shame in letting my potential go to waste. So I really identify with this kind of choice.

  4. moonwalk88

    March 16, 2017 at 6:48 PM

    Hi Steve, Reality!

    Haha Andy was pretty funny on your latest podcast! I just wanted to say keep up the good work and I also had a question in regards to you because I am not an avid “twitterer” but I am wondering what you would do if the Bachelor Franchise ends? Would you find another show to spoil??

    Also how does Sharleen become close to contestants like Andi and Caila, I wonder if she could share insight on those friendships and how their personalities differ from real life versus on the show – but thats something for a podcast further down the line I guess 🙂
    Cant wait for the next podcast

  5. rob22

    March 20, 2017 at 12:28 PM

    Parenting question about the toddler: It’s been a while, but this was a hot topic even 20 years ago. Two things: if the toddlers (especially boys) are high energy, and they often are, then play dates in outdoor places where they can run around like crazy make total sense. Like going to the park or even the zoo if there’s lots of runway. Just don’t invite them to your house. Make excuses, if necessary. If they are “hitters” or “biters”, then I’d personally back away for a while until that phase naturally fades away. Try to see your friend for a girls night out without kids until that point. Phases go fast, so you might not need to deal with this situation for that long.

    Parenting suggestions will only serve to alienate you from your friend. But that doesn’t mean you can’t allow or restrict access & engineer the meeting place to fit the phase you’re in. When my kids were young the only major blow up we had around this was one family where the kid hit, bit and really started to become not fun for any other kid. In all honesty, they were universally shunned for their bad parenting & their kid’s behavior. They moved away before that phase could be fully worked through. I often wondered what happened with them. Kids don’t stay toddlers forever, and bad habits do tend to disappear naturally, but they were HORRIBLE parents. So it does make you wonder.

    As a parent, you do what you do to make it pleasant & safe for your kids. Giving advice never helps, though. In fact it’s better if you are temporarily restricting access to not spill the beans to anyone about what you’re doing. It makes it easier to re-connect when the time seems right. Like I said, kids phases come and go rather quickly, but when you are a young parent, it might feel like forever. Bad feelings about parents that criticize your kids tend to last a long time. Moms seem to never forget. Play the game. The kid won’t be two forever.

  6. rob22

    March 20, 2017 at 12:40 PM

    To the girl with a boyfriend and a friend that wants more: I don’t entirely agree with RS. I agree to let your friend alone and focus on your boyfriend. Your friend is now just a distraction to the relationship you have with your boyfriend. To some extent, you are still young and it doesn’t sound that serious… it almost can’t be at this point. But you do have to learn to focus on the most important relationships. If there is some other random guy (even if he’s a close friend) out there pining to get you naked, that’s something you need to learn to distance yourself from. Boundaries are important and your friend crossed them big time. In doing so, he announced his intentions. Basically he’s been biding his time as “your friend” just waiting until you broke up with your boyfriend. Hey, that was a really good strategy since the odds are virtually 100% at your age that you’re not getting married. Kudos to him for the good try. Well executed, but it didn’t work. That’s the way the cookie crumbles some times. You give things a shot, sometimes you fail. Isn’t that just like anything worthwhile in life? Tough break, but he’ll survive. We’ve all been there in one way or another.

    At your age, you’re certainly not married or even engaged, if there was interest on your part, you would be in bounds to break up with your boyfriend and test it out. But since you have no interest in pursuing anything, I don’t see where your interests or your relationship is well served by your continuing on in any way with your friend. He wants more, and you don’t. It’s not going to happen, so it’s time to move on. Life’s tough. You can’t have everything work out like you want it to. This relationship didn’t work out to the satisfaction of either of you. It’s best to accept it for what it is. A relationship that isn’t ever going to work out. Trying to make something out of nothing violates the law of physics and relationships. Time to move on.

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