Podcasts

Podcast #17 – Interview with Sharleen Joynt, Also “Reader Emails,” and “Dr. Reality Steve”

Sharleen

Hi Steve,

I’m a big fan of your blog and have been reading religiously for the past couple seasons. It makes the show so much more entertaining (as I never took it very seriously to begin with). As an unfortunate side effect, I think one of my Bachelor-loving friends might be totally sick of me – she came over to watch last night and I accidentally spoiled the ending at the very beginning of the episode and then was quite outwardly cynical during Nick’s proposal to Vanessa. I’ve told her all about you but she’s not interested in spoilers! I think she’s missing out…

One thing I noticed during the episode is when Chris Harrison asked the audience, “Will Nick choose Raven (dramatic pause)……or Vanessa??” Raven’s name got pretty weak applause whereas people started screaming for Vanessa. Kind of an unimportant detail, but it made me wonder if much of that audience had already read your spoilers. Or they’re just a bunch of diehard Vanessa fans. I’m sure plenty were well aware.

Also, I find it hard to believe that Nick took acting classes, as he looked visibly uncomfortable during ATFR. Chris Harrison came down pretty hard on Vanessa, basically telling her over and over that she’s a difficult person to deal with (which is probably true). I thought Rachel handled herself well – she’s very graceful and has a wonderful personality. I’m looking forward to seeing her as Bachelorette.

Anyway, keep up the great work on your podcasts! I’ve listened to a few of them (Clare, JJ, Michelle Money) and I appreciate how candid your guests have been about their time on the show. My favorite part is hearing about what really happened during filming and how their big moments were edited by producers. And of course Michelle Money’s story was truly amazing. They all come off as such kind, genuine people. As a final thought, I’m surprised at how many people claim to know little to nothing about the franchise before being cast! I believe some of your guests alluded to that, and I also recall both Vanessa and Rachel making similar comments.

Comment: Sharleen’s podcast today is just as candid. Loved some of her answers.
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Dear Reality Steve,

I have been reading your site since Brad Womacks 2nd season. After watching nicks finale I had a few questions. My first question was where you surprised how quite a few members of the bachelor family were posting on twitter about how they didn’t think Nick and Vanessa where going to make with even Sean Lowe making the joke what was nicks chosen one going to do when he went on bachelor in paradise this summer. I don’t remember there being a season when so many bachelor alum not really getting behind the final couple and really kind of bashing them. Yeah, Nick’s definitely taking some for sure.

My second question do you think if Nick and Vanessa break up before bachelor in paradise starts do you think Vanessa would do Bachelor in Paradise or do you think that she could be a bachelorette like Emily Maynard was later down the road. Thank for answering these questions and congratulations on spoiling another season.

Comment: I don’t see her doing either to be honest. She’s someone I can see disappearing back to Canada when it’s over between them.
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Hi Steve,

Did you notice that the girls from Nick’s season didn’t tweet their congratulations to Vanessa, showed any signs of being so excited for her and Nick or commented about how much they love her and what an amazing couple they are? I saw a ton of comments to Raven about her being an amazing person and how much they love her, but no love for Vanessa. I saw an interview where Vanessa said she was close with Taylor and Danielle M., but I know you mentioned that she wasn’t well liked in the house. Guess they haven’t made nice since the show finished filming.

Comment: Guess not.
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Hi Reality Steve,

I have always been cynical of the show so really enjoyed finding your website with your insider info and humor. Like many of your readers it is nice to have an “escape from reality” and drama that isn’t yours.

Since the show is so produced it is hard to believe that there are any real moments, although they can’t fake every moment. I was wondering your opinion on Nick’s family. They seemed to really believe in Nick’s intentions to find love on the show and worried about him experiencing heartache. Do they really believe this or are they just good (or bad actors)? Or are their feelings more related to the fact that they actually get what the show is about? I wonder how they explain this to Bella– that this is just to help Nick’s career–so play along? you can’t help but feel bad for her. That is really sad if Nick is manipulating his family (so to speak) just to promote his brand. I honestly have no idea what’s going through their mind.

If the final contestant can’t reject a proposal, all the talk of whether vanessa would accept was just so silly. If she actually really wanted out could she just leave the show before the proposal? Not really. And of course it’s silly. But how many of the millions who watched the finale actually know the final contestant can’t reject a proposal? Not many.

ironic how on AFTR that Chris said Nick’s proposal was one of the most romantic. Not sure whether Nick’s or Chris Soules was worse but neither seemed the slightest bit heartfelt. Even Josh Murray put more passion into his…..Also thought it was funny that Chris Harrison said on AFTR that the show has a good track record with couples. I guess it depends on your definition or he missed that day in elementary math. Nick’s father also made me chuckle when he told Nick that Vanessa fit his usual type and that hasn’t worked out so well for him before. Probably no coincidence that he picked her and she lives in Canada. Maybe he wasn’t expecting her to actually agree to move…Loved your picture of their faces last night, that summed it up so perfectly. Probably wouldn’t have had any of these observations without your site, so glad for the amusement.

Enjoy Vegas!

Comment: Thanks. I’m sure I’ll be tweeting about my love/hate relationship with Vegas within minutes of starting to play at the tables.
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Too late?

First and foremost I gotta bone to pick with a) one of your readers and b) you. WHY THE HECK DID YOU SPOIL NASHVILLE! Haha. I get that this is a spoiler site but come on! Spoiling the most recent season? Not everyone is caught up and I was blindsided by the spoiler. Not cool, guys. That was 6 days after th episode had aired. Sorry. In this day and age, that’s like eternity for not watching something you recorded and you’re only asking to get spoiled if you do that.

Anyway, Thanks again for another great season! Can’t wait to see what goes down with Rachel. Not surprised they showed us two white and two black guys last night.

Theory my husband had that I thought was pretty plausible: they shot a bunch of Raven B Roll right when they got to Finland and she was just being happy and silly and excited to be there, then the producers flipped it and made it seem like it was shot after the fantasy suite. It’s possible, sure. But we’ll never know since I doubt it’ll ever come out.

Question: Do they normally edit out awkward pauses in the meetings on night 1? Because those were deadly on a live show. I couldn’t even stand it.

Comment: Absolutely. They’ll do re-shoots and everything if you flub a line or whatever. Or they’ll just edit it out like you said. That was not easy to do last night for those 4 guys. I give them credit, but live television in front of millions where you KNOW you can’t screw up because it can’t be edited? Brutal.
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Hey Steve,

What goes through the producers’ minds when selecting the starting/OG cast of BIP? People seem to last longer if they are on from the very start. Is it in any of their contracts to be a “starter”? Presumably there would be some heavy hitters in the starting cast… but there always seems to be a “who??” (i.e. Lacey Faddoul or Izzy Goodkind) I remember last year you reported that you were hearing that Lauren Himle was pretty sought after for Paradise… but she only ended up appearing as an afterthought. I wonder how Raven will fare?

Comment: I would think if Raven follows through on what she said, she’ll easily be in the original cast. Would be shocked if she wasn’t.
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Hey Steve,

So you know how on one of your podcasts with Michelle Money, you guys were talking about the producers and you used that word, slimy? Well, I was talking with a woman this past week who has connections to that field of work, and the first word out of her mouth when we brought it up was slimy. I just thought that was interesting to hear coming from two different people. Not a coincidence.

Also, you know how you say you’ll buy gifts for the couples from this show if they ever do get married? Well, it’s probably not likely to happen, but if JoJo and Jordan ever make it down the aisle, I have the perfect idea for a gift: an Aaron Rodgers jersey! Zing!

One question: Is it weird that my favorite part of watching (and spoiling) the show is making spreadsheets (like the ones they have for each season on their Wikipedia pages) of the orders of elimination? Like I probably wouldn’t be watching the show if that wasn’t a thing. Really? That’s some dedication.

Thanks Steve, and I’m looking forward to a hopefully more diverse season. My first thought when you posted the first guy on Monday was, “oh great, a white guy”. I swear, if Rachel picks the Robby of this season, Twitter will crash from my commentary…

Anyways, good luck on spoiling!

Just wanted to add on, do you know why Bachelorette is premiering at 9 instead of 8 on May 22nd? Just curious.

Comment: Not sure. I didn’t even know the time was out yet.
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Hi,

Thank YOU for doing what you do! I look forward to reading your site everyday and you and your site is the only reason why I still keep watching!
My question – once you know all the contestants for a season, do you guess who will be in the top 4, and if so how often are you right ? I know your right about your spoilers and that is really all that matters, but just curious, if you make your picks for top 4 based on the pictures and bios you get before filming.
Thanks again for your site and podcasts!

Comment: I don’t think I’ve ever tried to guess. I don’t care enough to. All I care about is getting the spoilers right.
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RS –

First, I don’t know what I’m going to do in the odd season as your blog is the only one I read consistently – I’m obsessed. Loving the podcasts as well!

Second, I love how Chris was touting Rachel’s 4 guys coming out as the “most dramatic, most historic and crazy thing to happen in BACHELOR HISTORY!” What? Dude, time for a new job. You’re annoying.

Third, watching the AFTR has me cringing! Vanessa is like a broken record with “challenges, difficulties” “hasn’t been easy,” and “but we love each other…” So annoying! It seems so forced and unbelievable. They are so uncomfortable together, too. I hope after DWTS (which I don’t watch), this guy will go away and stay off our TVs.

Thanks and have fun in vegas!

Comment: I really don’t think you need to worry about Nick on any more shows after DWTS. Sure, he’ll pop up on TV here or there I assume. But I don’t think he’ll ever be a full cast member on another show after DWTS. At least lets hope not.
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Hi Steve,

I’ve watched this trainwreck of a show since almost the beginning, I’m embarrassed to admit, but I’ve always tried to stay away from spoilers so I could enjoy the unfolding of the story. But as I’m discovering just how much of the story is manipulated, I’ve decided it’s much more entertaining to watch with a realistic perspective of what really happens. Thanks for making that possible. 🙂

I’m hoping you can shed some light on what specifically has convinced you so firmly that Nick’s motives are impure, and that he never had any intention of marrying someone from the show. You’ve had opinions about contestants in the past that changed as you got to know them more, but you’ve said that you know too much about Nick for that to ever happen. Can you tell us what you know? Sharleen and Ali speak so highly of him in their blogs, and they strike me as relatively good judges of character, so I’m definitely super curious what you know that they don’t.

Thanks!

Comment: I can’t get into specifics without it outing certain people. Sorry.
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Hi Steve,

I wonder if you know about the lead’s obligation to not say “I love you” before the proposal. I guess the lead must be allowed to say it, as Ben did (but was that only allowed because he said it to two people?). Maybe Nick didn’t know if he loved Vanessa, so he didn’t care about appeasing her, but it seems like most of the girl leads always say they know who they love early on, so can’t they tell the guy they love them, and the show can edit it out?

Likewise, can the lead just tell the runner-up beforehand that it’s not going to be them, and the show can just edit out that conversation? Just wondering if there are rules about this.

Comment: I only remember Brad breaking that “rule” and telling Emily on his overnight date he was in love with her. Whatever happens in private, I’m not privy to. I think they’re basically coached not to tell that person until the end because they want that genuine reaction. These people aren’t actors. If they all knew before the final rose ceremony they were being picked, I think we as viewers would see it.
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Hi Steve,

I hope this email isn’t too late. First of all, I really appreciate the great job you did with this season. Side note: if I didn’t already know the winner from you, it was so easy to tell by their editing that’s supposed to “fake people out.” When they super hardcore push that Raven is completely confident she’ll get engaged the next day with Vanessa saying she might not even accept a proposal, it’s a complete giveaway that the opposite is going to happen. That stuff annoys me and I don’t understand why they give things away like that (do they think people don’t know what they’re doing?) Anyway, the Vanessa and Nick situation looks miserable. They couldn’t even manage to pretend to be happy for the purpose of the ATFR. I’m just glad Nick is finally done with this show. They do it because most of their audience buys it.

I also wanted to say how much I’ve loved the podcasts- I was pretty indifferent about people like Clare, Courtney, and JJ before but the podcasts made me love and respect them a lot (already loved Michelle). They were all great and I’m looking forward to Sharleen’s. I hope you like Sharleen. It was a great discussion I thought.

Lastly, I have a few random general questions that I’ve been curious about (sorry in advance if you’ve answered these before):

1) When a cocktail party pre-rose ceremony is cancelled because the lead “already made up their mind”, is that really decided by whoever the lead is, or do producers decide when to cancel those? Just curious and didn’t know if Nick had a say in those this season or if it’s all producer driven. The producers know who the lead wants to send home every episode. If it so happens all those girls are gone by the time the rose ceremony arrives, then they’ll “cancel” it, but considering we see a cancelled cocktail and/or rose ceremony every season now, safe to assume it’s pretty much done for TV purposes to build suspense or whatever.

2) Is the lead not being allowed to say “I love you” an unwritten rule? Did it used to be an actual rule? I feel like I remember past leads saying they weren’t allowed to tell contestants how they felt, but then obviously the whole Ben situation happened, so I didn’t know if something changed or if it just wasn’t a rule to begin with. Yeah, I think it’s pretty unwritten. I doubt it says in the contract they can’t, but they’re just encouraged not to.

3) I know Elan is one of the producers, and I see him all over social media with contestants. I’m not sure what his exact role is- does he have some type of authority? Is he the main producer or just one of the many? Maybe I have this all wrong, but I find it super confusing that so many contestants claim to love him and be best friends with him post show when isn’t he one of the people/if not the main person responsible for making them look like fools on tv and prodding them to do and say things for the purpose of editing? I guess it’d be easy to actually be friends with him if they got a “good edit” but I’m confused as to how it seems like every contestant loves him so much when he’s basically manipulating them all for tv (correct me if I’m wrong).

Thanks for everything Steve! And thanks for already posting some of Rachel’s guys, posting contestants in advance is one of my favorite things you do. Have fun in Vegas.

Comment: This is discussed at the 54:53 mark of today’s podcast. Not necessarily Elan per se, but the contestant/producer relationship.
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Hi Steve,

Does anyone else also find it strange that Nick has not posted a photo with Vanessa yet? Despite how active he is on Instagram posting photos of himself constantly… I kinda am, but we’ve got plenty of time.

What book by former bachelor/ette contestant do you find the most interesting regarding the behind the scenes of filming?

Comment: I’ve only read one, and that’s Courtney’s. So I’ll say hers.
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Steve,

Could any number 2 possibly more over it than Raven? She exuded a ‘why am I even here’ vibe on AFTR. You said that she looked like she was expecting it on the final show, certainly was not bothered by being dumped when ‘confronting’ NIck.

I know most of them are probably over it given the 4 month gap, but can you even think of any number 2 that seemed to care as little?

Jo-Jo maybe, because she already had bachelorette lined up. Maybe Raven was already aware of BIP, so looking forward rather than back. Here segment was so short.

Comment: The only one I could think of was Becca. She didn’t even cry when she got dumped at the end.
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Did Chris Harrison take a dig at you on AFTR? He referred to the ‘easy bet’ to say they wont make it. Does that mean he actually admitted that the show has a lousy success rate?

Comment: If that was, I didn’t take it that way.
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#1. Random question on “sources”.

After last night when Usweekly once again took your spoilers and claimed it was from a “source of theirs” and didn’t cite you it got me thinking.

I understand that when the majority of tabloids refers to “a source” and not a personal quote it usually is BS and the story is not true. I have also read stories where certain celebrities have tried to sue tabloids after the run with a false story. My question is…

Is there a law that when a tabloid such as UsWeekly, People, Star , Life & Story and so on) must find a “source” to run a story. I understand that they could make someone up and call them a source because a source can be anyone but just curious if they if of the writers just made up info as she’s typing that they could get in trouble in any way. “Sourcing” in that industry is VERY flimsy for exactly what you just spelled out. They could hear a rumor, throw “source” behind it, and there’s their story. It’s why I can’t stand tabloids.

#2. The tension between Nick and Vanessa was cringe worthy. It’s crazy because the past 3 times Nick’s been so passionate and affectionate towards Andi and Kaitlyn and this season he’s just not there physically, mentally or emotionally. I agree. And it’s why they’ll never get married. Do I think he despises Vanessa? Absolutely not. I’m sure he cares about her. You know, he likes her a lot. But that it won’t last long and he’ll move on.

#3. Honestly, towards the end of the season I kind of felt that Nick somewhat wanted the girls to reject him so he could come out of the show with more fame, DWTS contract, people feel sorry for him and single because we all don’t he doesn’t want marriage, at least anytime in the near future. I think he’ll get married and have kids someday. Just not with her.

#4. I know you’ve been saying from day 1 Vanessa wasn’t the most well liked in the house and how she rubbed the girls the wrong way and the last few episodes is when I really started seeing it, but lastnight is when i really noticed it. When Vanessa met his family for the first time she came off very “cold” to me I was somewhat shocked! You aren’t the only one with that sentiment.

#5. I also found it interesting the answers both Raven and Rachel gave when Chris asked if they thought Nick and Vanessa would last. They both were very hesitant and their facial expressions were everything. The best was when Raven was responding to Chris “Well if Nick’s happy then that’s good.” “Nick is a good person” “I’m happy for Nick” not Nick and Vanessa… just Nick. lol yikes. Yup.

#6. If you HAD to pick just one couple from this franchise ( the bachelor, the bachelorette or bachelor in paradise) that are still together right now, that surprises you the most who would it be? (They can be married, engaged or just dating?
I know you say you’re surprised if any couple lasts but what one couple surprises you the most they’re still together. (JP and Ashley, Des and Chris, Sean and Catherine, Ben and Lauren, JoJo and Jordan, Tanner and Jade, Carly and Evan, Kaitlyn and Shawn, I know I’m missing some couples I can’t think right now)

Comment: I guess Carly and Evan?

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6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. yoyotono

    March 15, 2017 at 6:56 PM

    It seems like a lot of contestants don’t do their former jobs after the show. A reader mentioned Taylor, Chad couldn’t do real estate anymore so he started a fitness website. Nick and Ben didn’t go back to their sales jobs, Andi quit her district attorney job in Atlanta…etc. It seems like a lot of girls start blogs and do fashion stuff in addition to club and product promotions. Yeah, I wouldn’t doubt they make a ton more money doing a few instagram posts every month for tea and vitamins. Andi, though, went to college for a long time and it took her a lot of work to get her district attorney job. Maybe she’s doing something in that line of work in NYC?? Also, I applaud Kaitlyn for calling out Mike Fleiss and doing her own thing with City Strong with Shawn. Obviously she made an awkward Jimmy Kimmel appearance with Andi and Nick prior to this season.

  2. hales

    March 16, 2017 at 10:16 AM

    @yoyotono During an interview on Litman’s podcast in January, Ben said that he just started back at his old job. Maybe some other contestants/leads will follow suit with trying to resume normal life. I was also just listening to Taylor Nolan’s interview on the podcast Here to Make Friends and she was discussing how she was delaying going back to work because it wasn’t safe. Good quick listen if you have a chance.

  3. impromptublue

    March 16, 2017 at 1:35 PM

    Loved the podcast with Sharleen! (made an account to say this)

    Lots of cool anecdotes, but my favorite was the elaboration on how she met Andy. His first impression of her was hilarious.

    I was also a little surprised to hear about her biggest regret. I have to say, as I get older (I say from the wise old age of 23) I’m starting to realize that “the stability of a quiet life with loved ones can be worth more than glory and grandness” isn’t a COMPLETE platitude. That said, I think alternate-world Sharleen with her graphic design 9-to-5 might be envious of this-world Sharleen’s life. Maybe the day-to-day of being a working singer isn’t as glamorous as it looks, but she gets so much more societal respect from being an opera singer than she would if she were just another fashion blogger. And social status isn’t nothing!

    I’ve made the opposite decision in my own life. Instead of pursuing academia in a field that I have a good amount of natural talent in, I have a corporate job in a field that pays very well. It’s not drone work, it utilizes my analytical abilities, it can be fun… but no one’s going to be like “wow, she’s a [type] engineer!” the way they would with “wow, she’s a [field] professor!” At least not in my social circle. And I feel some shame in letting my potential go to waste. So I really identify with this kind of choice.

  4. moonwalk88

    March 16, 2017 at 6:48 PM

    Hi Steve, Reality!

    Haha Andy was pretty funny on your latest podcast! I just wanted to say keep up the good work and I also had a question in regards to you because I am not an avid “twitterer” but I am wondering what you would do if the Bachelor Franchise ends? Would you find another show to spoil??

    Also how does Sharleen become close to contestants like Andi and Caila, I wonder if she could share insight on those friendships and how their personalities differ from real life versus on the show – but thats something for a podcast further down the line I guess 🙂
    Cant wait for the next podcast

  5. rob22

    March 20, 2017 at 12:28 PM

    Parenting question about the toddler: It’s been a while, but this was a hot topic even 20 years ago. Two things: if the toddlers (especially boys) are high energy, and they often are, then play dates in outdoor places where they can run around like crazy make total sense. Like going to the park or even the zoo if there’s lots of runway. Just don’t invite them to your house. Make excuses, if necessary. If they are “hitters” or “biters”, then I’d personally back away for a while until that phase naturally fades away. Try to see your friend for a girls night out without kids until that point. Phases go fast, so you might not need to deal with this situation for that long.

    Parenting suggestions will only serve to alienate you from your friend. But that doesn’t mean you can’t allow or restrict access & engineer the meeting place to fit the phase you’re in. When my kids were young the only major blow up we had around this was one family where the kid hit, bit and really started to become not fun for any other kid. In all honesty, they were universally shunned for their bad parenting & their kid’s behavior. They moved away before that phase could be fully worked through. I often wondered what happened with them. Kids don’t stay toddlers forever, and bad habits do tend to disappear naturally, but they were HORRIBLE parents. So it does make you wonder.

    As a parent, you do what you do to make it pleasant & safe for your kids. Giving advice never helps, though. In fact it’s better if you are temporarily restricting access to not spill the beans to anyone about what you’re doing. It makes it easier to re-connect when the time seems right. Like I said, kids phases come and go rather quickly, but when you are a young parent, it might feel like forever. Bad feelings about parents that criticize your kids tend to last a long time. Moms seem to never forget. Play the game. The kid won’t be two forever.

  6. rob22

    March 20, 2017 at 12:40 PM

    To the girl with a boyfriend and a friend that wants more: I don’t entirely agree with RS. I agree to let your friend alone and focus on your boyfriend. Your friend is now just a distraction to the relationship you have with your boyfriend. To some extent, you are still young and it doesn’t sound that serious… it almost can’t be at this point. But you do have to learn to focus on the most important relationships. If there is some other random guy (even if he’s a close friend) out there pining to get you naked, that’s something you need to learn to distance yourself from. Boundaries are important and your friend crossed them big time. In doing so, he announced his intentions. Basically he’s been biding his time as “your friend” just waiting until you broke up with your boyfriend. Hey, that was a really good strategy since the odds are virtually 100% at your age that you’re not getting married. Kudos to him for the good try. Well executed, but it didn’t work. That’s the way the cookie crumbles some times. You give things a shot, sometimes you fail. Isn’t that just like anything worthwhile in life? Tough break, but he’ll survive. We’ve all been there in one way or another.

    At your age, you’re certainly not married or even engaged, if there was interest on your part, you would be in bounds to break up with your boyfriend and test it out. But since you have no interest in pursuing anything, I don’t see where your interests or your relationship is well served by your continuing on in any way with your friend. He wants more, and you don’t. It’s not going to happen, so it’s time to move on. Life’s tough. You can’t have everything work out like you want it to. This relationship didn’t work out to the satisfaction of either of you. It’s best to accept it for what it is. A relationship that isn’t ever going to work out. Trying to make something out of nothing violates the law of physics and relationships. Time to move on.

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