Reality Steve

Are You the One?

  • Are You the One?

    “Are You the One?” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 7 & 8 Recaps

    Photo Credit: MTV

    So the last episode ended with the group only nailing one new measly beam of light and Terrence J telling them their process has been nothing but trash. The episode also ended with Zak rolling his eyes at Bria’s continuing stalker tendencies, which means the two of them will surely hook up tonight because Zak is the only person on the planet who saw Fatal Attraction and walked away thinking that being flattered was the point of the movie.

    Since they’ve now collectively been told they’re idiots, the group decides a house meeting is in order. Haven’t they already had house meetings? And didn’t they also just come back from a Relationship Retreat From Hell that was designed to help them revamp their picking process? What I’m saying is that yet another meeting where they all scream at one another and speak in bullsh*t platitudes is probably not going to help, not when half of these people run purely on the smelly fumes of ego.

    When the … Continue reading

  • Are You the One?

    “Are You the One?” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 6 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    After the relationship retreat – where exes showed up to berate people they’ve already spent years emotionally abusing – finally ends, it’s time to get back to a more standard episode (complete with the more standard forms of abuse) of Are You the One? It’s morning now on the island and rain is falling in great buckets from the sky. Neon paint is potentially forever tattooed on the dirty feet of our contestants and Samantha is ready to move far beyond the bullsh*t of her ex and into a relationship where the guy she’s with is more than happy to post her face all over his Instagram. Over in the yoga yurt, Asia and Tevin are doing some deep breathing exercises before he explains that watching Kenya avoid him all last night so she could cuddle with her ex hurt him so deeply that he was forced to suck on Jasmine’s lips in an outdoor shower while cameras filmed them. Tevin’s not sure what all this back and … Continue reading

  • Are You the One?

    “Are You the One?” – Nell Kalter’s Episode 5 Recap

    Photo Credit: MTV

    There are those collective anxiety dreams a ton of us share. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? The nocturnal miseries I tend to experience on repeat are of having to run but not being able to move or searching for a classroom to go take some test I didn’t study for in a class I’ve cut for an entire semester. I’ve only had the delightful whoops-I-just-showed-up-in-public-naked dream once, but I do often awake knowing I’ve just been tormented through a final REM cycle because Dream Me ran into one or three of my exes when I was least expecting it – and when my hair looked like sh*t. Well, MTV has decided to take that last night terror and make it real on tonight’s Are You the One? while ostensibly still pretending that every hideous thing they are doing is all in our contestants’ very best interests.

    The last ceremony ended with only two new beams of light and some very bizarre pairings since several of … Continue reading

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