• Reader Emails

    “Reader Emails,” Blogs, Parodies, and Deleted Scenes from This Week

    Oliviamouth Oliviamouth

    Settling back into the daily routine after last week, as of right now, I think I’ll be good to go tomorrow night for the live video chat. Yeah, it’ll suck without Maddie anymore and feel a little different just knowing she’s not here, but I’m pretty sure I can get through it. Again thank you to everyone who continues to email and/or donate on Maddie’s behalf. It’s definitely been a weird feeling around my house. I was telling a couple friends this but when you have a daily routine for almost 8 years, and suddenly it’s take away, it’s just a bizarre feeling. Like, every time I have to leave my house for something recently, I always had to make sure my mouse pad was put up higher on my desk (because she was starting to eat it), my remotes were put up on the counter (eating those too), close all bathroom doors (she liked getting in the trash), and I let her out in the backyard. Had to do that every time before I … Continue reading

  • The Bachelor 20 - Ben

    The “Bachelor” Ben Episode 5 Recap Incl Pregnancies Galore, & Olivia’s World

    BenOlivia BenOlivia
    Photo Credit: ABC

    Well, to say the last week was the toughest of my life would be an understatement. It was awful. I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving in some way over Maddie for as long as I live. Yesterday I had to pick up her ashes and that certainly wasn’t easy. Right now, I’m just taking it day by day, with some days being better than others. Thank you to everyone who took the time to send an email, leave a message on my FB Fan Page, or even leave a comment on my website. Yes, for the first time in forever, I actually read the comments on the site because I figured there wouldn’t be any that had to do with the show. Over 1,500 messages total if you add all those up. I read as many as I could, but have all of them saved. It got a little overwhelming there for a bit, so I would just hit save. Impossible to respond to everyone, but just know that I sincerely appreciate everyone who … Continue reading

  • The Bachelor 20 - Ben

    A Tribute to Maddie

    Maddie1 Maddie1

    This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write in my life. Nothing even comes close. There will be no recap today, “Reader Emails,” “Dr. Reality Steve,” or live video chat this week. Excuse me for grammatical errors, run on sentences, or just for rambling, but this is the most therapeutic way for me to deal with what I’m going through. I don’t know any other way than to let all of these feelings out right now. I’ve cried enough in the last 24 hours to last me a lifetime. My sweet Maddie was diagnosed in the last couple days with hemangiosarcoma, which is an aggressive form of cancer that’s spread to her spleen and liver. Maddie started feeling pain over the weekend, and has since gotten a little bit better, but once the doctor explained everything to me, I knew I did not want to see her go through any suffering. It’s not a matter of if, but when. No surgery, no chemotherapy, and nothing I can do can save her … Continue reading

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