-Once inside, Nick kicked off the festivities with a toast where he kept reiterating that he wanted the women to feel empowered. Translation: Ladies, I absolutely will not stop you if you want to have sex with me before the fantasy suite. Take the reigns. Do your thang. Feel empowered. I’ll be your little submissive Nick. Ladies, the empowerment is all yours. In fact if you want, you run the show now. I’ll let you ask me on the dates and choose what we do. That’s how much empowerment I’m giving you. Or something like that.
-Nick had a good little talk with Rachel to start things off, and you could tell she was a front runner from the get go. Nick even said “she stands out to me,” which is always a good thing. Although when it comes to the “Bachelor,” basically the first impression rose is a curse, so maybe Rachel should’ve known her fate was sealed later that night. For a while there, ANYONE who got the first impression rose never won. But then on the “Bachelorette,” we’ve seen that trend debunked in recent seasons, most recently with Shawn on Kaitlyn’s season. Wait, did Jordan get the first impression rose? Hell I already forgot. But in terms of the “Bachelor,” off the top of my head, I can’t remember any girl getting the first impression rose who ended up winning.
-When Nick was next seen ballroom dancing with Christen, it was awfully funny to watch him because you just knew that was his mini audition for DWTS. Instead of Christen teaching him, I’m sure he much rather would’ve had Kym, or Witney, or Lindsey, or Sharna being his lead. Only a couple more months. As I mentioned before, if Nick isn’t on DWTS next season, it’s because the show didn’t want him. He’s campaigned for it privately for the last two years behind the scenes. He will jump on it in a heartbeat if offered. Which I’m guessing most would.
-Corinne’s time with Nick was…interesting. What’s the deal with this chick and tokens? Now she’s got a giant bag of them? Did she splurge at Chuck E. Cheese’s? Regardless, she gave Nick the bag of tokens for, well, I don’t really know what reason. He didn’t use them for anything, but Corinne’s vibe essentially screamed to him “This bag of tokens is basically for you to cash in and use my body as a chew toy whenever you’d like.” When Russian hackers infiltrate American companies, can someone ask them to go after Corinne’s Twitter account so we can get a full confirmation of which Bachelor alums are sliding into her DM’s right now? Thanks. Pass that along. Say what you will about Corinne this season, because she will be a hot mess, but she will absolutely be the hottest commodity come “Bachelor in Paradise” time among the guy alums. Count on it. They’re fighting over each other right now to see who can sleep with her first.
-Corinne wanted a kiss, thought she was gonna get one, but never did. But of course because they needed SOME first night drama, when Nick just so happened to be talking with Vanessa, Corinne comes in and steals him away from her to do nothing but mouth wrestle with his esophagus. And other girls are watching which immediately put a target on Corinne’s back that was as big as Liz’s back tattoo. You needed to be paying attention to the clip from Jade & Tanner’s wedding to notice it. I don’t think we saw it with the dress she had on last night. But anyway, yeah, Corinne will be a lightning rod for conversation all season, no doubt.
-One thing I found rather funny was when Nick was vibing with Vanessa, Corinne came back for a second time to steal him away, and he let her. But then later on, Jasmine wants to steal him away while he’s talking to Ida Marie, and Nick won’t let her. Huh? Granted, the Corinne stuff was obviously producer manipulated, but geez Nick. You really won’t get up from a riveting conversation with Ida Marie, a girl you send home hours later, but you’ll let producers make you send Vanessa away so the sex pot can start causing drama? This is where Nick put on his producer hat and is trying to make good TV. Unfortunately, it made the whole Jasmine/Ida Marie thing look stupid.
-When we got to his conversation with Liz, there was all sorts of awkwardness going on. Basically Liz never gave him her number at the wedding, Nick was done with it, he saw her show up, and now he’s questioning why she’s here. Which is fair. But you can look at it two ways. Yes, she didn’t give him her number at the wedding after a night of sex, but why isn’t she allowed to change her mind after 9 months had passed? Maybe she was seeing someone at the time, never told Nick, and that’s why she thought it was better to let it go? Or maybe she just felt embarrassed? I don’t think just because she didn’t give her number to him at the time means she’s not allowed to think something could be there between them down the line. And on the flip side, yeah she didn’t give Nick her number, but don’t you think if Nick really wanted to pursue her he would’ve asked Jade more about her and tried to get in touch? Just throwing it out there. We know Liz was brought on the show because producers knew about their hookup. She could’ve said no, she didn’t, and now she’s going to get the brunt of the criticism. Hey, you sign on the dotted line, you have to accept everything that comes with it. Myself, I don’t read much into it. Neither of them wanted to be with each other, Nick is acting a little too butt hurt over a phone number for my taste, and Liz could’ve handled herself better. It’s over and done with. Moving on.
-Rose ceremony time. Rachel safe with the first impression rose. Nick: “Nerve racking…thanks for coming…obviously the hard part…nervous as I am…sincerely sorry…thank you all again…and anyone wanna quickie in the bathroom right now? We can totes squeeze one in before I start passing these out.”
Vanessa, Danielle L, Christen, Astrid, Corinne, Elizabeth W., Jasmine G., Raven, Kristina, Danielle M., Sarah, Josephine, Lacey, Taylor, Alexis, Hailey, Whitney, Dominique, Jaimi, and Brittany are safe.
“Ladies, Nick, this is the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. With Selma recently getting married and AshLee recently engaged, I need to see which of you fine young ladies I can start hitting on for my next conquest in the franchise. Take a number, and get in the back of the line ladies. The Harrison train is leaving the station.”
Liz gets the final rose, because of course she does. We all know it comes to a head next week and she’s gone, so really no need to dissect that relationship any further. Nick can continue on pretending he was actually looking for a wife on this show and Liz can go back to doula-ing in Vegas.
Next week the Corinne show begins as she takes her top off in the pool during the group date, and Nick still gives her a rose – because he’s trying to make good TV. Danielle I’m assuming opens up about her dead fiancé and her blossoming music video career as well during their trip to the Balboa Fun Zone, a place where I once made out with a girl who had a boyfriend at the time back in high school. Ooooooohhhhh scandalous. Then we get the Museum of Broken Relationships date where Nick sends Liz packing.
Send all links and emails to: steve@realitysteve.com. To follow me on Twitter, it’s: www.twitter.com/RealitySteve. Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.
