Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” incl the Arkansas TV Station Releases a Statement & Corinne in Middle School

Photo Credit: ABC


Just one quick question for the day:

I am sure you’ve seen the gazillion posts on twitter about Corinne with the fake ring on her finger in an IG post? Thoughts on that? It was done accidentally and not realized til after the fact. She was wearing the ring of the comedian she was in the picture with.

Just curious-with all the blabbing from her mom and now this-do you think ABC will put a muzzle on these two? I mean like you said we know the show is staged and so fake, but I can’t remember the last time a parent was blatantly “outing” their tactics so early in the game. (Could be wrong) I totally believe your spoilers and think Corinne is just trying to round up the crazies!

Thanks for your time!!

Comment: I’m sure they’ll tell her to shut up and remind her of her contract. Will she listen is another story.

Hey Steve, big fan!

Do you know if ABC prohibited the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise folks from posting anything political? I follow quite a few of them on various social media channels and haven’t seen a single peep. None of them seemed to post anything about voting, the election, the March, etc…or at least they didn’t post anything about it if they did.


Comment: I don’t think it’s prohibited. But here’s something to remember: these contestants live off the compliments and praises from random strangers online. You post something political, and you’re almost guaranteed to alienate half your audience. They’re smart to stay away from it. They’d lose followers regardless of what side they’re on, and that’s bad for their brand.

Hi Steve!

I have a question about Kristina. She notes she was adopted from Russia as a young child but she has a fairly strong accent. Do we know at what age she was adopted?


Comment: I think I remember hearing this when I first confirmed her as a contestant, but I can’t remember now. I wanna say like 10 or 11? Can’t remember exactly.

Hi Steve,

Throwing my two cents in on the Rachel/Raven Bachelorette theories. I’m calling it right now: there is absolutely no way they pick Rachel. We just watched Episode 4. Where’s Rachel been? We saw her a bunch in the first episode bc of the first impression rose. We didn’t see her at all in episode 2. I vaguely remember her from episode 3. Last week, she gets like 30 seconds and that’s only because we’re going to see her on a 1-on-1 next week.

Who have they consistently shown both talking on group dates and in ITM’s every single week: Corinne (villain), Vanessa (winner) and Raven. They show Raven giving her opinion on things like she’s f*cking Nostradamus. Does Rachel not have opinions? They show Jasmine more than they show Rachel. Hell, they show the shark costume person more than they show Rachel.

We’ve seen her a few times. Every time she speaks, she comes off as thoughtful, a bit reserved, and very mature. You know who else was in their 30’s, very pretty, smart, successful and equally as thoughtful and mature? Ashlee from Sean’s season. Who’d they pick for Bachelorette from that crop? Not Ashlee. The difference here is that Ashlee actually got airtime and Rachel is getting left on the cutting room floor.

Let’s look at the last several Bachelorette’s they’ve picked: JoJo (other option: Caila), Kaitlyn (other option: Britt), Andi (other option: Claire), Desiree (other option: Ashlee). What do all of those women have in common? With the exception of Ashlee and to a lesser extent Claire, they’re all perky, bubbly types that were in their mid-twenties and less “together” in an emotional sense than Rachel is.

Let’s compare their two viable options: Rachel – 31ish, attorney for several years, from Dallas. Raven – 25ish, fashion boutique owner, from Arkansas. Just on paper, of these two women, who do you think is going to be more “game” for the nonsense the Bachelorette has to do on national television? Who do you think is going to give them better sound bytes?

I think ABC knows this and that’s why they’re burying her. You can’t convince me for one second that she doesn’t have an opinion about Corrine. Why hasn’t ABC showed that? What I’m sure they will show, though, is Rachel confronting Nick’s favorite Canadian special needs teacher. How do you think that’s going to go over with America?

And when they do pick Raven (which….the edit she’s getting? Of course they’ll pick her.), they have a ready reason for doing so since they just picked another 2nd placer in JoJo. They’ll do the whole “left at the alter” thing again – they might even make Nick say he loves her so they can skin alive that dead horse for a second time.

I know that the producers have talked a big game about wanting a minority lead. Don’t you think that if Rachel was it, they would give their viewers a chance to “fall in love” with her the way they are clearly doing for both Vanessa and Raven? I know her one-on-one date is next week. I’ll be interested to see the “Rachel” they show to us then. From what I’ve seen of her so far (and what I know from your spoilers), they don’t want us to be invested in her.

Apologies for the long email, and thanks for all that you do!

Comment: These are all good points. And maybe those will all be reasons once it’s said and done if Rachel doesn’t get the gig. But two things: 1) it’s still way too early. We don’t know for sure. 2) Remember, Rachel hasn’t had her date yet. After next week, I’m sure way more people will be into her. Will it be enough to secure her the gig? Nothing will be decided after next week. But she’s still got another 1-on-1 in Bimini, a hometown, an overnight, the heartbreak of getting sent home at #3, then the all-important “hot seat” at the WTA. So she has plenty of time to turn things around. As I’ve said since November, this looks to be Rachel vs Raven for “Bachelorette.” But anyone’s guess is as good as mine at this point because we know now what the show is capable of. I could even find out later on this season that one, or both, or even three people sign their contracts and it STILL won’t mean anything based on what we’ve seen the last few seasons. So we’re all gonna have to wait.

I could be totally wrong and don’t bash me If I am because I love you and I love reading your blogs lol. From past seasons, isn’t Chris usually the one to tell them to pack their bags to start traveling. And then the following week nick would say where they are headed next and then they cheers their glasses. But i thought when they were going to leave the mansion it is usually Chris who tells them like it’s that time ?

Just was wondering as I was reading this weeks blog because you said nick didn’t say it because they didn’t know where they were going.

Love your blog!!! Love your personality

Comment: You may be right. I obviously don’t remember every rose ceremony glass clinking right before they leave. He may be the one that does it. Can’t remember exactly.


I teach classes on “emotional intelligence.” Taylor wasn’t able to get to the definition properly, (the conversation didn’t allow it) but I think her assessment is correct. And Corrine thought she was saying she lacked intelligence and didn’t understand the term. What she didn’t understand was you can be highly intelligent and not emotionally intelligent.

EQ definition-The ability to moniter one’s own and other’s feelings, to discriminate among them and to use this information and guide one’s thinking and actions. This term has gained momentum in the past 10 years because they have identified a link between highly affective leaders in business with the qualities of emotional intelligence.

There are 4 components to Emotional Intelligence (EQ) (although many people add a 5th and define these terms differently) I’ll keep it simple.

1) Self management (or self-regulation)-The ability to regulate your emotions.
2) Self-awareness-the capacity for recognizing key emotions/ experiencing multiple and conflicting emotions within oneself.
3) Empathy-The ability to anticipate, define and understand another person’s emotions.
4) Social skills- Everyday verbal and written correspondence with one’s family and peers.

Generally, it is said that people with more EQ are more successful than others in organizations. Employers look for these qualities when fulfilling leadership positions.

By the way…most “villains” (and the key to this is lack of self-awareness) on this show are not very emotionally intelligent. Some contestants that I feel have an EQ deficit would be:

Courtney Robertson (lacks self-awareness, empathy, and social skills) self-management was fine though.
Juan Pablo and Nikki his ex – zero self-awareness
Josh Murray – wow, on all fronts!
Olivia Caridi – zero emotional intelligence yet highly intelligent!
Ben Flajnik
Ashley H. – Another highly intelligent individual who had difficulty with stress management on her journey both as contestant and Bachelorette (Love her though!) All other components she had, (social skills, self-awareness, empathy) but her lack of self-regulation would completely derail her.
Ashley I – Duh.

But these people make for good TV.

Also I understand that we only see what editors want us to see, and they have been manipulated, however those contestants with high EQ would be able to negotiate their way out of this drama.

Those that displayed higher EQ, or at least appeared to:

Lauren Bushnell
Ali, Roberto, and Chris Lambton
Vanessa – so far appears to be more emotionally intelligent when she engages in controversy.
Ben H.
Andi Dorfman – (would let her emotions get to her, but managed them and used them to get what she wanted) Very goal oriented behavior. Just look at her exit from JP, brilliant and it landed her the title spot. Well done!
Sharleen Joynt
Jen Saviano – both Jen and Sharleen were controlled, poised and never let their circumstances disrupt their goals.
Caila – Interesting right? Not everyones favorite as far as her peers go, but I would place her as CEO of my company. She knows how to make her situation work for her.
Jef – very much so. Look how far he got and it was clear Emily never planned on marrying him.

Nick by the way is a wonder to me. He is obviously intelligent, does not let his emotions get the better of him, yet he continuously rubs his male peers the wrong way! There must something we aren’t seeing. Then again notice how the producers usually put the loose cannons against the natural self-regulators. (Nick and Josh, Nick and the guy Caitlin chose).

Now I have to state that knowing there is nothing “real” about reality TV, all contestants are in a manufactured state of drama. When our cortisol levels are activated we immediately transfer into “fight or flight” mode, our emotions click in, and we are incapable of receiving or delivering information accurately. The producers know this, feed them alcohol in order to exacerbate any situation. Those that are more aware of their emotions and how to handle them are more capable of being successful on this show.

Comment: Man, I could dissect this for ages. But since you’re a professor on it, I will say “thank you” and that was a very interesting look into these contestants based on what you know. Good stuff. Can’t say I disagree with much of it. Except maybe Chris Soules on your EQ list. I don’t see that.

I started to look at your spoilers last year. I appreciate all the work you put into this. I am so sorry that people actually have the nerve to bitch about how soon or what information you put out for us. Everyone should be thanking you. I really enjoy finding out this stuff before the end.

Comment: Thank you. Comes with the territory. Nothing I can do about it. People are always gonna find a way to b**ch and moan about something.

Hi Steve!

A couple questions regarding Andi. Super random I know…

1) I saw she posted on Twitter that she is writing another book…have you heard anything about this? Do you think it will be a follow up to her tell-all that was released last May? It’s about her dating/single life in NY.

2) Nope. But obviously it never happened and fell through.

3) Is she dating anyone? I’m sure she’s dating, but I don’t know who. Or if it’s anyone any of us would know.

4) Do you know if she’s had any contact with Amanda post-breakup?

Thanks, you rule!

Comment: No. I have no idea if she has or hasn’t.

Hi Reality Steve!

I’ve been watching the Bachelor since season 1. I actually had a hometown visit filmed in my tiny town in Alabama (Brooke from Aaron’s season) and met Frank from Ali’s season at a Starbucks in Geneva IL (also met his parents!). I wanted to be like, so tell me what it’s really like.. it’s ok, I read Reality Steve ? I wanted to grill him about what went down on his season so bad. Poor Frank. Anyway, my husband hates that I read spoilers but it makes it more fun for me. He thinks it’s the best/funniest show on TV and wants to be Chris Harrison lol

So my questions finally:

1) watching the end credits with Alexis made me wonder, are there contestants where there’s sort of a mutual understanding that it’s not a love connection so they just have a good time and shoot the sh*t to kill time? Absolutely. I think even Nick Peterson said it on last week’s podcast. He knew Ashley wasn’t picking him. I don’t think it was established between the two of them where she told him that to his face, but he seems like he understood the vibe that he wasn’t getting picked. So he just rode it for as long as he could.

2) is there a specific producer “assigned” to each contestant and how are they assigned? I would think there would be a specific producer to build a relationship but wonder about the fairness of getting them assigned. I know you’ve said producers get perks for making good TV so what if there are girls they already have a storyline in mind for (e.g. Corinne)? In the beginning when there are a lot of contestants, you can do ITM’s with a few producers. But when it starts getting whittled down, I think certain ones do get assigned because that’s who you’re most comfortable with.

3) I did have a third question but I have a 2 year old and 9 month old so by the time I wrote the other two I forgot it. Mommy brain. It’s real.

Thanks for taking the time to spoil and respond to emails. It makes it so fun!

Comment: I hear ya’. Mom brain is a thing.

Hey Steve,

So, I was just surfing the web and I saw that Grant got his “Grace” tattoo covered by a black rose, seems morbidly symbolic. What do you think about it? He’s a disaster.

Do you think Courtney Robertson would ever do your podcast? I’d love to hear what she says about the show and thinks of Corinne. I would love if Courtney did the podcast. She’s absolutely on my list.

What female alumni would you expect to see on Paradise? The twins again, maybe? Tough to call right now since so many will be Nick’s girls. I don’t see the twins on it again because they have their show on Freeform. It’ll be over by the time BIP is filming, but as of now, the two of them have boyfriends. So unless those end (which I could see being made into a storyline), then I don’t see why they’d do BIP.

If Rachel became the Bachelorette and had at least one black man in her final four that didn’t win, do you think that they would cast two back-to-back black leads just to have their first black Bachelor or just go with someone else? My guess would be no.

I also thought it was really funny that certain parts of Arkansas didn’t air Raven’s boyfriend story. Do you know why this is? I don’t know why, but I’m not dumb. That wasn’t a coincidence regardless of what that station manager says. Anyone can clearly see something shady went on. Now, since the station manager has addressed it and said that it was a mistake, I doubt he’s going to comment more. We’re never going to get a clear answer. And even if it was an inside job, it’s not like they’d ever admit it.

Do you feel bad for Vanessa, knowing Nick is the way he is? Feel bad? Not really. She’s a grown woman. She can handle herself. She’ll eventually see (if she already hasn’t), who she got herself involved with. Look, again, Nick is not a horrible human being. He’s not the worst man to ever walk the face of the earth. I actually believe Nick when he says he wants to find love and get married someday. It’s just not gonna be anyone from this television show, and I never thought that going in.

Also, I can barely find any negative comments about Vanessa on social media. Maybe it’s just all of the Vanessa crazies, and it’s impossible to tell, I know, but do you think this will give her a better edit than what you predicted? I’m keeping my fingers crossed for an Emily Maynard situation, where they’ll bring her back as The Bachelorette in a year. It’s certainly already looking that way considering some of the stuff that’s been left on the editing room floor.

Oh, and do you know if Jaimi is fully bisexual or was the whole girlfriend thing just like an experiment? I think her last relationship was a female, so I don’t think this was just an experiment.

Thanks Steve! Sorry about the late email but keep up the good work! Loving the podcasts by the way! You’re a natural!

Comment: Thank you. I’m enjoying doing them.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” or join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page. Talk to you tomorrow.



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