-Miami is up next for the most anticipated hometown in recent memory – Corinne’s. Not necessarily because of her per se, but more so that the show had built her backstory up to be so big, it had to have some payoff, right? Uhhh, yeah. So naturally, when Nick and Corinne meet, they’re at the mall. A high end shopping mall. With basically zero customers. Corinne runs and jumps and straddles him while making out. Seems par for the course for these two. They head into the Tomas Maier store where Corinne proceeds to spend $3,423 on Nick’s outfit without batting an eyelash. Yes, apparently this was real. She actually bought those clothes for him. Now, could that have been on a company credit card? Sure. But that wasn’t purchased by the show or anything. Showing how much of a deep, intellectual connection these two had they figured her splurging on him for clothes is what would really solidify their tight bond and continue this relationship on. Yawn. It’s like there are writers for this show or something. Oh wait…
-After shopping, these two go to lunch when Corinne tells him how deep her feelings are for him, that she’s really, really fallen for him, and then drops the “I love you” on him. I gotta imagine Nick at this point is like, “Well, at least I got three dimes worth of clothing from her. Sweet.” Because lets face it, there is zero chance Nick felt remotely the same way about her. She was a prop this season used to advance a storyline. Nothing more, nothing less. There’s a part of Nick (and every lead for that matter) that is fully aware the TV element this show carries and some things you have to do for the sake of television. Corinne was one of them, despite whatever Nick has said in interviews and his blog. We can clearly all see it. They focused their show around this woman for 5 episodes, choosing to basically single her out and make it seem like Nick didn’t have much of a connection with anyone else. I don’t think anyone in their right mind believes that Nick ever had more than a surface level, physical interest in Corinne. And if you do, I have some land to sell you.
-So we get to meet Corinne’s mom Perry, dad Jim, sister Taylor, and the infamous nanny Racquel, which very well might be the most overhyped person in the history of this show. To make a big deal all season because of her and then have her serve them dinner while showing her talking to Nick for maybe :30 seconds? Lovely. Hope you were compensated for that nicely Racquel. Corinne talks to her dad first and tells him that she told Nick earlier today that she loved him. Her dad practically keels over on the bed slapping his forehead. Even daddy realizes how silly this is and Corinne is completely in over her head. Oh sure, he gave the ol’ speech of wanting her to be happy yada yada yada, but his immediate expression pretty much told us what we wanted to know. Now, if Corinne had told her dad that she and Nick had an hourlong discussion over the economy, refugees, and the political climate in this country right now, I think there’s a good chance she would’ve given him a heart attack. Maybe daddy will realize that hanging out in Playa Escondida getting shmammered for 2 weeks this summer is a better route for Corinne to go with her life. You know, all this running of a multi million dollar company can get real taxing for her. She needs a break.
-Corinne and her dad continue with their interesting conversation. Mr. Olympios basically sh** all over Nick’s career aspirations of Instagram posting and running an online men’s grooming business. How dare you! He asks Corinne if she’s ok with being the breadwinner in this relationship. “Can Nick make a living, raise a family, and keep Corinne happy?” Then when he talks to Nick himself, he drops the, “Corinne likes the finer things in life…I asked her how is he gonna support you and are you happy being the breadwinner? She said yes.” I don’t know about you, but I could tell Nick was completely blown away by this assumption that Corinne would automatically become the breadwinner in the relationship and that Mr. Olympios basically emasculated Nick in front of America. Not that Nick already didn’t know he’d be sending Corinne home this episode, but I’d say that conversation pretty much put the nail in the coffin. Pretty insulting if you ask me to say that to Nick’s face. Yes, the Olympios family has more money than Nick, but acting like it’s because of Corinne’s doing, and she’d be the one providing everything because of the work she does is embarrassing. Nick sheepishly responding with, “Yeah, I’m glad to hear her say that” might’ve been the biggest lie Nick told all season.
-Then daddy basically dropped the “If she’s happy, I’m happy” line and all was right in the world. Other than Nick no longer having a pair of balls. Oh yeah, when Nick spoke with Racquel, she told him not to hurt her, she respects her so much, and asked what his intentions were with her. I don’t think Nick answered honestly since he knew he was about a week away from sending her packing. But I’m sure Racquel bought whatever he was selling. Corinne ended up being very happy over this hometown date. I know this because her dad thought so. “Corinne is the lid to Nick’s pot.” Well if that isn’t a solid enough expression about two people’s romance, I don’t know what is. Of all the ways to describe ones relationship, I can’t say I’ve ever heard that one before. And how flimsy is that expression. A lid on a pot? How about “Corinne is the paper towel to Nick’s microwave dinner?” You know, that paper towel that they tell you to cover it with but inevitably just sinks into your food once you pull it out of the microwave? Yeah, that’s what Nick and Corinne are. Corinne is a soggy paper towel and Nick is soup.
