(SPOILERS) Everything You’ll See in Monday’s Premiere of the “Bachelorette”

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Like I mentioned yesterday, no Bio Breakdown this season due to the fact that ABC waited til 5 days before the premiere to finally release them. With the podcast now, getting your episode 1 spoilers up as soon as I can, and still trying to finalize all your episode-by-episode spoilers for Monday, I just didn’t have time to get around to it this season. I’m not sure if this is a one season thing or if this is gonna become the norm for them to release everything so late. Guess we’ll find out next season. Normally it’s usually 10-14 days before the premiere. It’s ok. If you missed the bios and some of the guys’ ridiculous answers, you can check them out right here. There are some doozies this year. And a lot of sex talk. Asking these guys to talk about previous one night stands is basically setting themselves up for criticism from the masses. But then again, what do they care? People are talking about them now, right? Before the show, no one knew who they were. Now they’ll be front and center every week for the next 2 ½ months, and some even longer as they show up on Paradise. Whaboom!

Before we get started, coming down the home stretch on “Survivor” and our own Bryan Fischer has your Survivor recap up now for your viewing. I don’t have a freakin’ clue who’s gonna win this thing down the stretch. I think you could make a case for any of them at this point. Some will have stronger cases than others (I think Sarah has the most solid resume so far), but she might be targeted so you don’t know if she’ll even get a chance to plead her case. Should be a good finale.

I appreciate the support on the podcasts, as Jaclyn has gotten some great feedback from you listeners. Really enjoyed talking to her, and like I said, from where we were 6 years ago, it’s kinda funny that essentially the two girls who initiated ABC’s first lawsuit against me, Emily O’Brien and Jaclyn, are now people I can have candid, open conversations with and there’s zero hostility. I put them in a bad position back then, so it’d be idiotic of me to still hold a grudge. It was my fault, but still, very glad I can talk to them. Maybe we’ll have Emily on a future podcast.

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Ok, lets get to it. Here is what you’ll see in Episode 1:

-Started out with Rachel’s intro package of her doing her first photo shoots back in March. Then moving on to the “fake” courtroom scene filmed at SMU in Dallas where they show her being a lawyer, even though that wasn’t a real courtroom and they were asking extras on campus that day if they wanted to be a part of it. One thing we get to see is that Rachel’s dog Copper is brought to LA with her during filming.

-Next up were the guys intro videos. For the first time I can ever remember, NONE of Rachel’s final 4 have an intro video. They’re shown in this order:

Kenny: He’s Kenny King, the “Pretty Boy Pit Bull” of the wrestling world. They show him in action wrestling some dude, but then he talks about his 10 year old daughter McKenzie and how she is his life. Kenny is a softie. Not to mention Chris Harrison says he cries the most this season.

Jack: 31, lawyer, Dallas. His mom had cancer and passed away when he was in high school. This isn’t in the video, but his name is Jack Stone, but he was born Jack Oberstein. He changed it within the last few years I was told to honor his mother. But Stone wasn’t anywhere in her name. Maybe it was his grandma’s name. Whatever. Just a little fun fact for you.

Alex: 28, Detroit, MI. Shows him working out, but admits he’s really a huge nerd. Likes to do coding, play video games, etc. His parents are his role models, and he ends his video by saying something in whatever other language he speaks.

Mo: 26, San Francisco, CA. He’s launching a start up, and has been a Bollywood dancer for over 20 years. Shows him dancing with his family.

Lucas: Woodside, CA. WHABOOM!!!!!! Get used to it. Trying to explain it doesn’t do it justice. It’s the #1 thing everyone will be talking about Tuesday morning, it will probably be trending on Twitter Monday night, and Lucas needs to get back on his meds. He’s absolutely nuts. Whaboom is incredibly annoying, yet, is quite funny if you step back and look at it for all its ridiculousness. Just be prepared. He says the word at least 15 times during the episode. Every time you see him he says it more than once. And screams it mind you.

Blake E.: Venice, CA. Personal trainer and sports nutritionist. Shows him working out on the beach and, well, you can tell he’s into his body. Tells us “my last relationship was mostly sex based, sex driven.” Then utters the beauty of, “Women have told me about the amazingness of my penis.” So yeah, he’s THAT guy this season. Well, all two episodes he lasts.

Kenneth (“Diggy”): Chicago, IL. He’s passionate about fashion. One time someone told him they liked his digs, so that’s where the nickname came from. Ummmm, ok. And oh yeah, he currently owns 575 pairs of sneakers. Imelda Marcos thinks that’s a bit much.

Josiah Daniel Graham: Prosecutor. Yes, that’s how he introduces himself. Interesting back story, along with being tragic. His older brother hung himself when Josiah was 7. Josiah was the one who had to cut him down from the tree. From there, he basically turned to a life of crime and burglary. Arrested when he was 12. Judge told him not to throw his life away, and was sent to a diversionary program. Now he works at the same office and same unit that gave him a second chance.

-Rachel meets up at the mansion with 7 of her girls from last season. Ummmm, no, Vanessa wasn’t one of them. Sorry. Couldn’t help myself. It was Alexis, Corinne, Jasmine, Raven, Kristina, Astrid, and Whitney. Only one notable thing really to come out of this talk. Whitney tells Rachel that Sarah (Vendal) from their season knows DeMario through mutual friends in college, and that his intentions might not be pure. That was purposely left in there for the audience to see because, you guessed it, DeMario has a girlfriend who shows up in episode 2 and Rachel sends DeMario home. Obviously you won’t see that on Monday, but yeah, the ol’ girlfriend-back-home card pops up this season. More on that in the episode-by-episode spoilers.