Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” & Podcast Talk

There isn’t a whole hell of a lot of news going on in the “Bachelorette” world right now as we head down the home stretch of the season. As I told you yesterday, the “Men Tell All” films this Saturday, so I’m sure you’ll be seeing a lot of the contestants posting about it on social media once they get out of the all day taping. A lot of the BIP contestants will be there as well as they like to have them in audience to introduce them to the new season that’s coming since that’s where we’ll get our first extended preview of the season. It will most certainly be another sh** show, for sure. So there’s always that to look forward to. The season does feel a tad disjointed because it had two separate breaks during it for the NBA Finals and 4th of July weekend, so that probably played a role in the dip in ratings. But the dip wasn’t as significant as some people thought it would be. The show isn’t going anywhere, which is good news for me and all of you. Quite a few “Bachelor” related questions in the “Reader Emails” this week. I felt I said the same thing for most of them, so get ready for that. Also, get your “Dr. Reality Steve” emails in for tomorrow. Could use a couple more. There was one topic that was brought up that I wanted to address because I felt it was important for those that don’t know how podcast advertising works. I made sure to move that email to the very first one. Here you go:

Reader Emails

I read your column and have listened to the “franchise guest” podcasts. Haven’t listened to this new one, the comedian…

I’m not on your site everyday nor I do I do twitter ….

But, I am interested in the cross over or related podcasts – Olivia’s… Mills recent one you mentioned and wondered if it would be possible to get a tab on your site that just provides a log of those podcasts/interviews you mention in the column? so if someone came back to your site, they could easily access yours and others you reference? Lots easier than trying to go back in and find then in the context of text. I mean, I can start putting the actual interview in the column that I mention, but I don’t see what putting a tab for everybody’s podcast would do. If I mention something like, “Hey, so and so said this on this podcast,” I will be sure to post that podcast right then and there. That’s the best I can do.

While I understand the need to acknowledge sponsors , the way the interviews are interrupted by lengthier verbiage isn’t as nice as the way you used to do it……initially at the top of the pod cast and maybe a splash in the middle..not a lengthy monologue repetitious ad breaking into the middle of an interview like it feels now .
I listen to a lot of podcasts in the car, and most interviewers announce their sponsors in detail at top of podcast and at end, rather than an ad interrupting their interviews…I think it feels more like an interview segment, than a tv show with ads every 20-12 minutes..

Comment: I have a few things to say about this: 1) I’m not sure what podcasts you listen to, but every one I’ve heard has ads somewhere during the middle of the podcast. 2) Let me explain how the podcast ads happen on my site. A sales team sells the ads for my podcast. There are three types of ads (pre-roll, mid-roll, and post-roll). Pre-roll is something you hear off the top, which is :15-30 seconds, mid-roll is read in the middle of the broadcast and is usually :60-:90 seconds, and post-roll are read at the very end and :15-30 seconds. Some of my podcasts are filled with them, some aren’t. Last weeks had one of each. The week before that had one total. DeAnna’s had 5. I don’t control what they sell. But all mid-roll ads I try to have read by the 20 minute mark. You saying it’s like a “tv show with ads every 20 minutes” is flat out wrong. If I have one midroll ad, I try to do it at the :20 minute mark. If I have two, I’ll do one at the :10 min and one at the :20 min. And if I have three midroll ads (the most midrolls that will ever be in any one podcast), then I’ll read two back-to-back around the :10 min mark and the other around the :20 min mark. The only podcast I’ve done in 7 months that had three midroll ads was DeAnna’s (and next week’s will as well). And all my podcasts have been over an hour, so outside of the post-roll ad at the very end, there hasn’t been an ad that ran after the :25-30 min mark in 7 months, just to be clear.

The third and probably most important point is this: these podcasts are free to you. All you have to do is hit play and listen. No one’s forcing you to listen to them. Time is money. Because advertisers can make money on a podcast listened to by a lot of people, am I supposed to say no because you don’t like listening to ads? That’s not the way it works. But, just like TV, you can skip over the ads if you’d like. Nobody’s making you listen to them. Any successful podcast out there has ads, and has more than one. It’s the way the business works now. Because there’s nothing visual when you listen to a podcast, the only way they can reach the consumers is running an ad during the podcast. Sorry they inconvenience you so much, but there are ways around it. They’re not going away anytime soon. I think you might’ve been spoiled because for 5 months, I had no ads. That’s because I was building my audience to go to advertisers with. Now my show is in demand, so, unfortunately that means ads will be on the podcast. Some weeks more than others. All depends on what and when they sell. I can tell you tomorrow’s podcast with Ben only has one ad. Hope that helps.

Hi Steve!

Huge fan here! Thank you SO much for the BIP spoilers!

Few Questions:

1) Is there anyone you are surprised that did not make it to paradise this season? No. Pretty much everyone I heard was going ended up on the show. I guess if there was anyone who maybe surprised me it’d be Chase. About a month before I would’ve sworn he’d be on. But as we got closer I heard he wasn’t doing it.

2) Do you know of anyone who really upset they were not casted? That’s easy. Jef Holm. He’s wanted on ever since the show started.

3) Have you really never been out of the country? not even Mexico or Canada? being from Texas, really never been to Mexico? where did you go on spring break in college? lol


PS- I think you have a big crush on Olivia and you should date!

Comment: Nope. And I’m not from Texas. I grew up in Southern California. Been in TX coming up on 11 years. All our family trips growing up were always in the US. And spring break I had zero interest in going down to Mexico. But I am in the process of planning my first out of the country trip. I say it’ll happen within the next year. Probably down in Mexico.

Hey, at least you actually didn’t already marry me and Olivia like the emailer last week.

Hi Steve!

Been following you off & on for the past few seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette, but this is my first season watching with the spoilers & i’m loving your insights – so thanks!

Is there any former contestants / bachelor nation people that you have no interest in having on your podcast? like you wouldn’t even offer an invitation?

Comment: Plenty.

Hi Steve,

I have been following you since Ashley’s season. Love the spoilers!


1. Do you know how much Rachel got paid for her bachelorette gig? No, I do not.

2. How long is the Bachelor/Bachelorette filming for (form the limo entrances to proposal)? 7-8 week.

3. How come Chase wasn’t on the BIP? Any chance they are saving him up to be the next Bachelor?


Comment: Not sure why he didn’t do it. I heard it had something to do with him being on the next season of “Vanderpump Rules” but I don’t know if I ever got that confirmed. He won’t be the next “Bachelor.” He has no backstory.

Hi! New reader here. I have a few questions.

1. When the cast says things like “I met so and so at a bachelor event” what does that even mean? Who is sponsoring events for these people? Plenty of places. The list is endless.

2. Living in Dallas, have you met Sean and Catherine? I met them once at a Dallas Mavericks game. I was eating in the restaurant under the arena before the game and they came in. I introduced myself and the conversation was maybe 20 seconds. Only time I’ve ever met them.

3. If you were the bachelor and had to pick women from past seasons, who would you have on your roster? Oh geez. Like a 25 woman cast? That’d be too hard. There are plenty, but it’s such a crazy hypothetical, there’s really no point in listing them.

Love your work! Lesley Murphy’s podcast was awesome in particular.

Comment: Ok fine. Lesley would most definitely be one of them. You know how when DeAnna was on the podcast (and you’ll hear Ben tomorrow as well) she said she absolutely knew who her final 4 were on the first night? I couldn’t imagine a scenario where Lesley wouldn’t be in my top 4 if she were on my Bachelor season. Granted, we have no idea who else is being cast, but I think Lesley is great. So glad she came on the podcast and shared her story.

Hi Steve! Just wanted to hear your thoughts, if any, regarding who could potentially take the place of “The Bachelor” should Peter not do it. I definitely think he’s going to do it, but in the off chance he wants to “focus on his personal training business” any rumblings on other potential candidates?

Comment: I honestly have no idea, but if for some crazy reason it’s not Peter, I seriously don’t think it would be any guy from this season.

Hi Steve!

My first email this season! I tried to go spoiler free this season to see if I could guess the winner so I avoided your site but then the BIP crap happened so I had to read. I accidentally saw the winner. Before I saw, my guess was Bryan but kept going back and forth thinking the show couldn’t be making it that obvious but I guess they can. Shame on them.

Anyway, wanted to say thanks for always including podcasts or articles that we should hear/see. It makes life super easy when we only have to follow you and you’ll point us to other good stuff. I know this is old by now but I just listened to Nick on Juliet’s podcast and wondered if you knew – they mentioned multiple times he isn’t watching Rachel’s season. Do you happen to know why?

Thanks as always for all that you do!

Comment: Nick really likes to separate himself from the franchise. You heard the interview. It’s like it makes him physically ill to talk about this franchise. He acts like he’s so over it. I mean, I guess to a certain extent he’s probably sick of talking about it. But the way he acted in that interview was pretty off putting. You don’t want to answer 80% of the questions Juliet had about the show, and you don’t want to talk about the franchise anymore, then just don’t do the interview. It was painful at times.

I have a friend who’s a total Nick lover and has been for years. We’ve had many discussions about Nick, including many disagreements, and this is the text she sent me this past weekend after finally listening to him on Juliet’s podcast:

“You know I’ve been a Nick fan for a long time. But then his season fell flat for me. So take this comment with the disclaimer I’m actually mostly a fan of Nick. I decided to listen to his podcast with Juliet Litman. I’m 9 minutes in. He’s INTOLERABLE. He’s condescending, arrogant, and speaks like he doesn’t want to be there.”

Soooooo, yeah. That’s how one of Nick’s fans thought he sounded. And my friend is someone that has vehemently defended him over the years when I’ve told her otherwise.

Hi Steve, I’m really hoping Peter is the next Bachelor. But, I’m curious if they choose to forgo him like they did Luke, do you see anyone from the Franchise who could take his place? I don’t see Dean, bc of reasons you pointed out during the BIP spoilers, nor do I see Eric, who I find complaining, negative, and racially overconcerned with Rachel’s choices to the point of questioning her decisions which I found selfish and distasteful. But, I’m wondering if you see anyone who is being potentially groomed for the next lead? I’m really not enthused about a Ben 2.0. Any thoughts! Thank you Steve!

Comment: It will no doubt be someone from the franchise. But outside of Peter, I have no idea who they have in mind.

Hi Steve,

The usual: longtime lurker, first-time writer. Interestingly, the first spoiled season I watched was Desiree’s, and even though the spoiler for that one wasn’t completely correct, I still 100 percent believe everything you put out there, because you have integrity–your being adamant about not revealing sources, publicly apologizing to Britt after you realized why she asked for money to come on the podcast, refusing to body-shame, etc. It’s tough to balance snark and sincerity, and I think you do it beautifully.

I’ve been enjoying the podcasts, and I was wondering if you’d consider allowing the readers to submit questions you can ask former participants. For instance, I really liked your interview with AshLee Frazier, but I was hoping she’d address being caught on camera in “Paradise” trash talking Clare and how she tried to fix that situation. Sharleen gave her (also highly valuable perspective) about it when she did “Paradise” recaps, but I would have loved to hear it straight from AshLee.

Obviously, you can’t remember every single moment from every single contestant in the series, which is why it would be fun for readers to have a chance to ask their burning questions. And since you’re the boss, you can pick and choose the questions you want to include.

Thank you for at least reading this through, and apologies if you’ve been asked this before! I read your blog religiously but I could have seen it and forgotten it.

Comment: I hear what you’re saying. And I’ve absolutely thought about that. Here’s the problem: After what happened with DeAnna the first time around where I thought she was going to be the guest a month before she was and we had our miscommunication, I never want to jinx any of them anymore. I’ll only promote the next podcast guest if I’ve already recorded it, or I know 100% there’s no way they are canceling or whatever. It’s just a superstition I have now going forward. Maybe I’ll get over that at some point.

My question(s) is in regards to your answer about not knowing what you’re going to do with the information you have on Peter. In the past, you’ve had no hesitation about sharing info (Robby, Grant, Jordan, Luke, etc)

What are your reservations this time? Is it because he is most likely the next bachelor? Do you ever get contacted by ABC requesting or even willing to pay you to with hold information about major contestants? In comparison to the guys mentioned above, how “bad” is the info you have on Peter?

Comment: Just stuff I can’t get into right now in regards to Peter. I can’t get into details.

No. ABC has never requested or contacted me to withhold information in terms of payment, nor will they ever. They’ve left me alone for 5 years now. That’ll never happen. And considering they don’t know what I’m going to report before I report it, I don’t even know how that’d even work.

I wouldn’t say it’s bad. It will just make all the Peter nut jobs lose their sh**. Actually, I shouldn’t even say that. They all think he walks on water, so they wouldn’t believe it anyway.

I have been following your posts for a couple of years now and I have to say that I believe that your original prediction of Rachel and Peter being engaged is the truth. I know that your sources told you that they were wrong but I just have a feeling that all that was published was on purpose so to try and get ahead of the narrative. I really do believe that, in the end, it is a dramatic finish with Peter and Rachel falling in love and Peter proposing.

Thank you.

Comment: Again, email me on Aug. 7th when this is over with your retraction. She’s engaged to Bryan.

I’d like to follow up on last weeks question. If the contestants don’t get paid to be on the show, WHY would anyone put their life on pause to go on this show? It’s got to cost a bit of money for all the clothes the girls wear on the show. I guess it seems like a dumb question, but I don’t get it why anyone would go through that knowing that the odds are against them winning and they don’t get paid for their time.

I’ve enjoyed your spoilers over the years and you seem to understand the show. Please explain to me what is their motivation?

Comment: Have you seen all the shilling and money making opportunities that come about AFTER they’ve appeared on the show? Not to mention, getting to hook up with others from different seasons? That’s why they do it.



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