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The Bachelor 22 - Arie

The “Bachelor” Arie – Episode 6 Recap, Bekah Was Missing (Not Really), & Update on the “Women Tell All” Taping

Photo Credit: ABC

-It’s the Moulin Rouge group date. The 6 girls all freaked out that they were on the Moulin Rouge date, but being a heterosexual male, I had no idea what the importance of this was. I mean, I remember the song where Christina Aguilera sang the song from the “Moulin Rouge” movie, but I guess that’s supposed to be important or something. Whatevs. Sports. Ain’t got no time for that French stuff. Everyone else did though. They freaked and squealed like they do anytime they’re told to do anything. They squealed the same as checking into a cabin in Lake Tahoe than they did arriving at Moulin Rouge. Safe to say these girls aren’t very hard to please. I think you could show them any male body that wasn’t Arie right now and they’d probably squeal just the same.

-Basically the girls have to get dressed up in outfits and learn dance moves. Then whoever Arie chooses for the group date rose will get to perform in the show with him. Yet, his choice of who gets the rose he specifically says has nothing to do with how they did at rehearsals. Great. Then what was the point of it? Well, other than showing us that Tia has two left feet when it comes to dancing, Seinne used to be a dancer, and Bekah has perma smile going on. Oh, and once the costumes were on, Becca channeled her inner Star Wars prequels:

The ironic thing is, at the end of all this, in Becca’s eyes Arie probably is Annakin Skywalker.

-At the after party, we see Arie’s alone time with three of the six girls: Tia, Bekah, and Seinne. Tia went up first and stated that her feelings are becoming more real as they get down to fewer girls. Arie: “I feel something real and special about us.” Yeah, but you say that to all of them. I think Tia’s potty mouth is keeping her in the game. Have we ever heard a female contestant curse as much as Tia has this season? I can’t remember anyone in recent memory. The good thing is, if for whatever reason Becca doesn’t end up as the “Bachelorette,” Tia is almost a shoe-in. I think they would absolutely choose her over Kendall. Kendall is almost too intellectual and introspective to be the lead. Not to mention do they really want someone in that role who’s never been in a relationship longer than 10 months? Wouldn’t be believable. Tia absolutely I could see as the “Bachelorette.” Here’s the bad news: I think Becca won’t turn it down. No worries, it’s not like Tia is going anywhere. She’ll be first cast, first day on Paradise this summer, no doubt. And maybe she’ll find her Adam.

-Arie & Bekah’s creepy relationship was up next. It’s like he always knew the amount of sh** he would take if he ever introduced this girl to his parents. Or met her family. So he carried her along juuuuuuust enough to where he could make out with her at every chance he could get, then let her go right before any of the major stuff happened and, you know, feelings got involved. Bekah tells him she’s not a jealous person, but seeing him get in the boat with Lauren the day before, she really got a little jealous. You know, cuz like, it totally reminded her of that time at the winter formal, where her best friend like totally made eyes at her date, and she had to go over to her the next week in the cafeteria and tell her off, all while wearing her man’s letterman’s jacket. That’s how Bekah rolls yo’. I think Bekah telling Arie that she was a little jealous made him want to tongue her that much more, which is basically what he did. So whatever she did worked, for sure. Then again, it’s possible you could’ve put a sex doll next to Arie and he would’ve found a way to violate it.

-Seinne had the last talk we saw with him and he asked her, “You know some French?” Seinne said something in French not really quite grasping the fact that that wasn’t the French Arie was interested in with her. He was more into the French thing where, you know, the guy gives you mouth to mouth all while messing up your hair. He frankly doesn’t want to hear some sentence you learned in French I your freshman year of high school. Arie wants dat tongue and he wants it now. The fact they even showed Seinne on this date was surprising, but yet, not all that crazy because I guess they need to set up her exit next week. Since Tahoe she’s been a ghost, so I guess they need to justify exactly what the reasoning is she made it to right before hometowns. She’s much too intelligent for him anyway. Bekah got the group date rose, they performed in front of an audience, and I have no idea how anyone who was there that night thought Arie’s lip syncing was believable. I would’ve asked for a refund.

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