-The guys move into the mansion, and I think it’s become customary now that no matter what the season, no matter what the location, in every single place they visit, the group of guys/girls must stand on a balcony and scream the lead’s name. They did this for Becca at the beginning of this episode, which is literally two days after they meet her. In other cities, I mean, I guess it’s ok to do. But really? Two episodes in and at the mansion? Not necessary guys. I know you’re following production’s orders, but it’s just lame. Do it in a far away country to piss off the locals. You don’t need to do it when the audience doesn’t know 75% of your names yet.
-Group date will start off the week, and 8 guys will try on tuxedos then be shown what to do. They think it’ll be some modeling gig, which no doubt has Jordan’s trousers as tight as can be. The guys start dressing in front of Becca and you can tell she’s checking them out one by one. She basically think Lincoln is built like a brick sh**house and, well, the jokes just write themselves. I hope at no point during this fitting did he have to excuse himself for a little bathroom break. That might’ve made every single one of those guys sick to their stomach, although, none of them would’ve had a clue at the time that he has the bathroom etiquette of a caveman.
-Whaddya’ know, Jordan is trying to explain to Becca how to be more of a model in her everyday life. “Before you put your panty hose or your shoes on…put your confidence on.” Thanks for the words of wisdom you douche worm. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that Jordan has short man’s disease. Granted, I’m aware that there are some narcissistic guys out there who only talk about themselves constantly and make every story about them, but you wonder how any woman can find him remotely appealing after watching this show. Sure, there are plenty that will, but I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m not supposed to. But he couldn’t be less appealing if he tried.
-Rachel and Bryan are there to explain the obstacle course to the guys, and isn’t this race eerily similar to Rachel’s first group date last season where it was a relationship themed obstacle course that Whaboom won? Looks like some creative team is running out of ideas. So there’s 6 stages to this race:
Ball & Chain – running with a 25 lb weight, and your dignity, tied around your ankle.
Cold Feet – getting in a freezing cold tub set to a timer long enough that your manhood is completely sucked up into your stomach before it’s over.
Slippery Slope – run up a wall that Bryan says has Crisco Oil on it, even though it just looked like whipped cream.
Get Over Your Exes – roll around in the mud in your tuxedo that really wasn’t a good look for Lincoln. Like, at all.
Cake Tasting – only using your mouth to find a fake ring buried in a cake
Race to the Altar – first one to bring the ring to Becca “wins” but also loses some self-respect in the meantime
-I don’t know about you guys, but didn’t Lincoln cheat like 4 different times during this race? The guy took off before his timer tipped over and he definitely used his hand while eating the cake. Anyway, he wins, he’s covered in mud (and/or poop, whatever you want to go with), gets to take a picture with Becca and he now becomes the envy of everyone else there. Ok, well just Connor because this stupidest fight in the history of this show has now begun. Like, I didn’t even know it was possible to argue over something so petty and meaningless, but by golly, Lincoln and Connor sure found a way. I was consciously losing brain cells watching these two fight over the picture that Lincoln insisted on keeping around and Connor wanted to get rid of. Ultimately, Connor chucked in the pool, but honestly, the best and most mature way for Connor to have handled that whole ordeal would’ve been if he just dropped a #2 on it. Would’ve seemed appropriate.
-At the cocktail party, the only two people they show her having any significant alone time with is Lincoln and Jean Blanc. Lincoln didn’t do much, but she’s impressed by Jean Blanc and his Drakkar Noir bath he took to clean himself up, that they end up making out. And she also made out with Lincoln because he won the obstacle course I guess. Jean Blanc tells her she’s got all the qualities he’s looking for in a woman, she’s the missing puzzle piece, he’s ready for a relationship, he likes her smile, but mostly her lips, then make out city.
-Picture Gate continued to be the focal point of this group date as after Connor chucked the picture in the pool (although the sound guy screwed up with giving us the sound of it shattering on the ground), Lincoln is all beat up that his picture is gone and lost forever and he can’t show his mom this. She’d be so proud. You know what she WOULDN’T be proud of Lincoln? Forget it. When it’s Connor’s turn to talk to Becca, she tells him she knows what he did with the picture, and he could’ve handled himself better. Connor is struggling. No, not with Becca in any way. But with the fact that he refuses to button the top 27 buttons or so on his shirt. Not sure who told him that was a great look, but hey, whatever works for you bro ham. Jean Blanc got the group date rose, Lincoln wasn’t happy he didn’t get it, and Connor has the self control of a 4th grader stealing some other kids lunch.
jlal
June 5, 2018 at 9:29 AM
Okay, here is what I don’t understand with RS’s comments. He always goes on about people taking this show seriously, then slams Becca for keeping Colton around because of Tia. Couple of points, Tia just did him for a weekend, so may not of shared that with her girlfriends; it’s not like it was a relationship. Point two, it is a show and the producers may want her to keep him around for manufactured drama. Case in point next week with Tia there too for the mani/pedis. Random points, Becca may not want him around at all, but doesn’t have much choice right now. Obviously, Tia didn’t take the guy or their hook up seriously so why should Becca? Also, it was a weekend fling, so I don’t get why it is bad/unbelievable that he signed up for the Bachelorette two months later.
As for Leo, a lot of people do questionable stuff trying to break into the “business”. Many an actress has naked or near naked pictures come out years after getting famous. People do all sorts of things in that business to pay the bills and get noticed. Plus, it was released last year but films are usually released at least a year or two if not more after wrapping. It could have been and most likely was make years ago. Not that it matters. RS is so provincial and puritanical sometimes.
rob22
June 5, 2018 at 9:40 AM
The main thing that bothered me about the show was…. what language is Lincoln speaking? Where did he get that quasi-British accent? There are words coming out of his mouth, but they are not forming coherent sentences, and that weird accent doesn’t help. One of the guys commented later on the show about why he speaks with a British accent. Until then, I was thinking that he came from England or a former British colony, or something. Is he an American with an affected accent? It’s just weird. It’s not really an accent I’ve ever heard. It’s kind of muffled and strange. And the guy was actually crying about his picture getting broken? Who does that? If he really liked the picture, he could have fished it out of the pool, dried it out and picked up a $1 frame at Dollar Tree & he’d be all set. I don’t get any of that. Obviously the stuff that RS has been reporting about him paints him as one really weird dude. But I was thinking that there was something more. There is. He’s weird as all hell.
I agree with the above comment. I get that Becca may not want to date Colton because he briefly dated Tia. Kind of a semi-girl code thing. But it’s NOT a scandal, especially since he was honest about it. He gave Becca the option whether she was cool or not. I thought it was a pretty stand up thing to do.
Also agree with the above comment about Leo. I have a friend that was in the modeling business who did some things she regrets when breaking into the industry. She was like 18 years old and naive. I’m sure it was similar with Leo. They think they are doing what they have to do, but they don’t have the foresight to know how it can come back at them. That’s just being young and making a mistake. That’s not the end of the world & it doesn’t make him a bad guy.
deedledee
June 5, 2018 at 9:56 AM
Completely agree with that last sentence. RS seems to think a date = dating = relationship, full stop. That’s just not how it works in real life. These are hot, single, 20- and 30- somethings, hanging for a weekend means literally nothing. He’s acted like this before like with other non- relationships as well.
taxionna
June 5, 2018 at 10:07 AM
rob22 – Lincoln is from Nigeria, which was colonized in the 19th and 20th centuries by Britain. The accent is Nigerian-English, which is what is taught in schools and most commonly spoken in Nigeria. As far as I understand it, Nigerians grow up speaking their regional language and a “common” language that is a mix of Nigerian slang and English. Most formal schooling is taught in “British” English.
sc07
June 5, 2018 at 10:30 AM
Such a relief that we can put Garret’s instagram likes to bed now, since RS approves of his apology. It shouldn’t have been blew out of proportion to begin with, it doesn’t matter what you do someone is going to be offended, especially if it appears that you have conservative views. I’m tired of conservatives having to continuously apologize about their views. Just because he liked some things doesn’t make him a racist or homophobe. Everybody doesn’t have to have the same views, beliefs, or same sense of humor. Liberals whine and cry saying conservatives are intolerant and need an open mind. I think it’s the other way around, since they are always so butt hurt by everything but think they can say and do what they want. Sorry rant over.
Why is it so hard to believe that Becca didn’t know about Tia and Colton? Tia and Becca are only friends because they met thru the show. They haven’t been best friends since high school, so to me it’s completely understandable that Tia might not have mentioned her weekend with him and if she did she might’ve just said she met a guy on social media that didn’t go anywhere. If Colton really is a virgin, then the weekend probably wasn’t even worth mentioning, especially to a new friend you’ve just started hanging out with. Just my opinion but I don’t see anything wrong with Becca keeping him around, if what Colton said was true they didn’t really date, sounds more like talking and met one time to hang out. I’m sure the producers encouraged him to use the words “I dated Tia”. Sorry to disappoint you RS but sometimes a girl will go on a date with a guy and not like him and not care if a friend goes out with him later, so I guess you can say girls share guys. There’s a difference in a serious relationship and talking to a guy.
Quit begging for Dr. Reality Steve letters, get the hint. Why would anyone want relationship advice from a man that’s never even been married or qualified to give it. Maybe they feel sorry for you but need the advice then head to the comments since you have several readers that give out advice on every letter you do and sometimes their advice is better. How did or why did you even start do Dr. RS. Just because you blog about the bachelor gives you the skills of a relationship expert. Lol you really do think a lot of yourself and it’s showing more and more.
rob22
June 5, 2018 at 12:58 PM
@taxionna- thanks. Ironically my original assumption was that he was from Nigeria or South Africa, or something like that. But then I heard the comments on the show… something about him and spending a few years in the UK & somehow picking up the accent (it was a real brief comment)…. and I started wondering if it was an affected accent he picked up at a British university, or something. Either way, it still seems like he’s talking gibberish. There are a lot of words coming out of his mouth, but they don’t all fit together. Perhaps his awkwardness and language challenges are just because he’s from another country, and doesn’t have full command of the English language. That’s cool. I guess I should let it go if that’s the case. I won’t even bring up the other stuff RS mentioned.
realiteacheck
June 5, 2018 at 1:01 PM
Yes to everything @sc07 said. Well said!
debb0
June 5, 2018 at 2:21 PM
Double yes to @sc07! And now he is teaming up with A. Spivey for “he said she said” relationship advice, really? 2 peas in a pod, those 2. Sharleen was smart to step away from him. Curious to know how Sweet Becca feels about what she / he did. And RS has trashed these contestants for years, now he’s hanging with them, like the nerd who is in with the cool kids. Double standards.
lexie
June 5, 2018 at 2:36 PM
If Garrett has to apologize for whoever or whatever he “likes” on social media, then I expect a public apology from Becca for openly supporting Hillary Clinton.
LynnS
June 5, 2018 at 3:13 PM
This really made me laugh! I love it! No sarcasm, I think it’s great that somebody said this.
nursej
June 5, 2018 at 4:50 PM
On another note…
Has anyone else noticed that Chris resembles Ben Stiller,
David resembles Andy Roddick (and a young Josie Charles sometimes);
also, Blake reminds me of Liam Neeson.
jlal
June 5, 2018 at 5:17 PM
Crap I didn’t know Colton was a virgin. Then what is the big deal if he and Tia didn’t “hook up”? Sorry, don’t follow this show that close, so missed the virgin thing. Now I’m really confused about RS’s stance on the whole Colton Tia thing. Let’s just say I double down on my last sentence.
Also, so agree on who in the heck would ask RS for relationship advice. I’ve never read them but always wondered who was that desperate.
mcweanis
June 5, 2018 at 10:09 PM
“Ingenuity” is a word, which means cleverness. I was almost impressed until I realized Jordan said “injuwenity”.
upmyalley
June 6, 2018 at 10:47 AM
Well it’s pretty clear to me that Stevo is indeed affected by all the criticism he’s been getting. Reading between the lines, I see that RS is desperate to move on from the Garrett crucifixion because he’s right there with him like the theif on the cross. RS and Ashley could both learn a lesson; be careful pointing the finger at someone, three may be pointing back at you! Bwahaha! Who knows, maybe the bach producers will hire her to vet future wannabe contestants. Or NOT. I dearly hope she goes away now and rests upon her golden throne of purity, light and self annointed truth. The road to hell is paved with goody goody intentions though so good luck with that Ashley. Now stfu you whiney gash.
realitynyc12
June 6, 2018 at 10:30 PM
Lol, that’s hilarious Lexie but since we’re on the subject of apologies, the majority of this country is still waiting for one from those supporting the truth-defying Tweeter in Chief and the fact that we now live in a perpetual SNL skit, that’s not so funny when one sees that their country is the laughing stock of the rest of the world. You know, that stable genius with the impeccable ethics and morals, a tremendous example of which includes f-ing a porn star while his wife is home with their newborn and having his sleazy lawyer try to pay her off…but never mind, he himself said that he can shoot someone in the middle of 5th ave and his base would still support him. And the scary thing is, he’s totally right.
So yes, as far as apologies go, this would be a big one. Whenever you guys are ready 🙂
realitynyc12
June 6, 2018 at 10:32 PM
Totally thought the same about Chris and Ben Stiller!
meg2016
June 6, 2018 at 11:18 PM
Yes to all of this!
brianm
June 7, 2018 at 10:19 AM
@sc07 I’m tired of bigots cloaking themselves as conservatives. Because our president is a “conservative” and acts that way other conservatives think it’s okay too. As a conservative I’m offended. Conservatives are about lowering taxes and reducing the role of government among other things. Mocking and cutting down people of different races, religions, and genders is NOT conservative. Yes I know liberals do it too but let’s not confuse lack of human decency with being a conservative.
tinyred500
June 7, 2018 at 12:44 PM
@rob, perhaps you’ve never noticed before, but a lot of non English speaking nationals are taught either British-English or American-English. So you get this mix of their natural accent etc., mixed with either the quasi-British or quasi-American sounding accent.
nursej
June 7, 2018 at 4:03 PM
Edit to my above note – It should read JOSH Charles, not Josie.