-Cocktail party time. Clay is up first and he wants to share his TD celebration with her. He shows her what all the kids are doing nowadays – flossing – then they start kissing. Not bad. What I think he should’ve done was break out an ipad and show her this TD catch he had from Michael Vick:
Not bad to get his feet inbounds as he was being shoved out of the back of the end zone. Although, I didn’t see him flossing after that TD. Guess he updated his dance for Becca to be cooler. Hey, works for me.
-We get quick clips of Becca talking to some of the other guys – John wrote her a poem then kissed her. Connor apologized for his complete overreaction of Lincoln’s picture, so he presented her with a framed picture of him covered in mud from the obstacle course that day, and they both threw it in the pool since that’s the old Connor. We want to start fresh with the new Connor. Unfortunately, Lincoln vs Connor essentially continues the whole season so this isn’t dying anytime soon because some portrait got wet. If only Connor knew then what we all know now, boy, that could’ve gotten interesting. Imagine Connor having THAT knowledge about Lincoln and the sh*t he would’ve stirred up? I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.
-So because Jordan loves himself more than any other human ever (is that ex of his really watching this and actually thinking this is a good catch?), of course he has to make a spectacle of himself at the cocktail party, so he strips down into just his boxer briefs and dress shoes, and interrupts David’s time with Becca. Yes, a guy walked up to her in his underwear, and she shushed David away to hug Jordan and have him sit right next to her. Yeah, don’t think they didn’t have episode 5’s 2-on-1 already set up in their head when the David vs Jordan battle was happening. David confronted Jordan about this later, we get words like “ingenuity” and “professionality” out of Jordan, which goes to show where his intellect lies in this conversation. Jordan doesn’t think he needs to validate himself to David, and even I’m a little taken aback by the fact he knew how to use the word “validate” correctly in a sentence. Points for him? Nah. He’s an ass clown that thinks being a model brings some sort of stature to him. Too much salt spray in his hair has seeped into his brain and caused permanent damage unfortunately. The douchelicker part of his brain has been triggered and there’s no shutting it off.
-Colton gets another chance to explain himself to Becca and basically nothing gets resolved. Becca is still struggling with the fact he had a relationship with her friend. And we haven’t even gotten into his public relationships with Aly and Savannah, clearly more PR moves. I highly doubt this is brought up all season, but lets see. He tells her he’s here because he wants to get to know her, and that relationships are built on honesty and trust and she’ll always have that with him. I wish at that very second Becca would’ve asked him, “So if Tia would’ve been the Bachelorette, would you have gone on for her too?” The honest answer would’ve been yes, but he never would’ve admitted that. This Colton/Tia thing is juuuuuust getting started. Lets see how they both handle this in Paradise.
-Rose ceremony time. Jean Blanc, Blake, and Wills safe with roses. Becca: “Thank you for being so patient…wasn’t easy…deciding is really hard…all of you are amazing…except that ridiculous poser in the corner currently only wearing a blanket to a rose ceremony.”
Chris R, Jason, John, Clay, Mike, Connor, Leo, David, Garrett, Nick, Ryan, Christon, Jordan, and Lincoln get roses.
“Becca, gentleman. It’s the final rose tonight. When you’re ready. We haven’t seen this level of narcissism on a season since Robby did, well, everything he did.”
Colton gets the last rose to build that suspense to see if he’d get it over that one guy. Or that one other guy. Or that ripped black guy. Yeah, such suspense.
Next week, we get the Colton/Tia confrontation during the mani/pedi group date, we have David falling off his bunk bed, getting a concussion and broken nose and being rushed to the hospital, and during the football group date, Clay breaks his wrist forcing him to leave the show because he has to have surgery. You know, because I’m guessing making an NFL roster this summer beats hanging around a mansion next to a Wilhelmina model with a Napoleon complex. Until next week…
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