Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails” & Happy 4th of July

Photo Credit: ABC

Hey Steve,

I’m seeing/hearing a lot of hate about my home state and its capital, so let me just fill people in on a few things. Listened to the podcast with Juliet Litman and felt like she was particular rude and dismissive of Richmond as a filming location.

“Virginia is for Lovers” has been the state tourism slogan for almost 50 years. It was created by The Martin Agency which is based in Richmond. That’s why they kept repeating the stuff about Love and Lovers.

Second, Richmond is the state capital. There’s TONS of history in the city, and what was shown was a weird fraction of what Richmond has to offer. Juliet Litman smugly and wrongly claimed Richmond wasn’t a significant location in American history, listing other cities in VA that have notable significance in the era of the founding of the nation. Ever heard of Patrick Henry, or the “Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death” rally cry of the American Revolution? Well, that speech occurred at a church in Richmond. Furthermore, Richmond was the capital of the confederacy and, subsequently the site of many Civil War battles and monuments. Understandably, that’s not an aspect of the city they wanted to highlight for the sake of the show.

Third, at the time of filming, the weather was erratic and not ideal for showing off the more beautiful parts of the city or surrounding area. In VA we had 70 degree days in February and then snow and cold temps in late March and early April. When they happened to be filming the weather was unseasonably gray.

Anyway, I know most viewers don’t care and have written Richmond/VA off as boring and in the middle of nowhere, but they are ignorant. VA is the birthplace of and home to a lot of great people (including 4 of the first 5 Presidents), has rich history, and deserves better than what this trashy show gave it.

Thanks for listening and thanks for spoiling.

Comment: Ok thanks.

Hi Steve,

I’m finally starting to enjoy Becca’s season now that they have weeded out a lot of the guys. I wish they would do a lot more eliminations earlier in the season and then when it gets down to the final 6, they do a rose ceremony every other episode or something, so that we can get to know those contestants better.

I had a question about hometowns… How do they decide the person’s hometown? Does the contestant get to choose or the producer? I noticed in past seasons that it’s actually rarely where the person grew up. It’s either where the parents live now or where the contestant lives now. It just seems like those dates aren’t really “hometown” anymore and should just be called “meeting the parents” and it doesn’t matter where it happens. To me, it would make sense to have the date where the contestant lives now and invite the family there so that the lead could see what they are potentially getting themselves into. Yeah, it’s usually where the parents are (well, except Jason’s case this year which was just bizarre. He lives in Seattle, his parents live in South Carolina, yet his hometown date was in Buffalo where he grew up. That’s great and all, but it’s nothing about his life now). So yeah, maybe they should just call it “Meet the Parents.” I don’t know what goes into how and where they decide, but Jason’s seems to be the outlier. It’s for the most part where the parents live now.

Last thing, after watching the episode this week, I can totally see how Jason makes it as far as he does. He seems like a great guy and he’s a lot more likable the more camera time he gets. What are the odds we see Jason as the next Bachelor?

Comment: There are no odds to place at this point.

Hi, Steve! Have you heard anything in regards to how Becca and Garrett are doing? I’m curious how the social media situation has affected their relationship, if at all. They’re still together, so, I guess it hasn’t affected them much.

Also, do Becca and Ashley Spivey have any sort of friendship/relationship? I’m curious about Becca’s take on Ashley’s outspokenness regarding Garrett. Ashley hasn’t mentioned if they have or haven’t.

Lastly, I find it interesting how some people who have said they’re willing to give Garrett a chance and respect his apology are constantly liking/retweeting different things about what a horrible person he is. What happened to giving him room to change and show us the good side of him?

Comment: I haven’t followed it enough on social media to know that’s what people are doing. They are?

Hi! First time emailing you and have some questions.

1. So, I would put Garrett in the same boat as Colton as they both stay out of the drama, make sense, are level headed and seem to say the right things that when Becca looks back at this, she won’t regret choosing Garrett and having Colton get that far, but with Colton it seems manufactured based on how I know he wants fame and was a fan of the show. Is it just me? Because everyone seems to love him on social media and I just don’t get it. I don’t think it’s just you.

2. I recently rewatched the second season of Paradise and that first episode when Ashley gets the date card Jared looked MISERABLE the whole time when she was “deciding” who to take. He really did not want to go on that date. I bought them as friends, but never believed he was into her. What changed? Jared sudden interest in more popularity, fame? One would argue Ashley has made the most of her time on these bachelor shows. It’s just bizarre to me, these two. Your guess is as good as mine.

3. What was Ben H. doing in paradise? Is that going to be part of your spoilers? Ben, Amanda, Arie & Lauren, Raven & Adam, Carly & Evan, and Jade & Tanner all made appearances to hand out date cards and/or be part of dates. They aren’t on the show for anything more than that.

4. Last thing, I saw that Jason, Colton, and Blake were recently together and it just got me wondering… I always see the guys on the show hanging out while the season is airing, after, etc. But DURING the airing of the show, it’s never the one that’s picked. Garrett, Jordan, Shawn..? I don’t remember Jordan or Shawn out there with the guys from their season going to events. It’s kind of how I always know your spoilers are right lol if the guy isn’t going to all these Hollywood parties or get togethers with a lot of bachelor people. Have you noticed that? Yeah, although I do remember Shawn used to hang out with cupcake in Nashville while his season was airing. But for the most part, you don’t see the final person constantly hanging out and doing stuff with other people from their season. That’s accurate.

Oh and heard your podcast with Juliet Litman. Gronk is from Buffalo also so maybe him and Jason have mutual friends? They’re both the same age.

Comment: Yeah, I realized that after the fact. That seems to be the connection. And I don’t know why I said Gronk’s party was in Miami. Completely messed that up. The party was in Buffalo, so yeah, I’m assuming they have a Buffalo connection.

I am so with you on your opinion of Melting Pot — I first tried it
years ago in the St. Louis area where I live when it was a trendy
thing to do & boy was I ever turned off!! Even tho I was in the minority
with my opinion I felt that you should not have to cook your own food
at a restaurant & it took forever & while it was good so are a zillion
other retaurants where they cook it for you & bring it to you! I never
went again, needless to say — and oh I forgot to mention it was very
pricey & while I am definitely not a cheapskate, if I have to cook
my own food it should cost me less, ha ha.

Comment: The price was whatever. It’s a four course meal so for the amount of food you do get, $34.95 or whatever it was I thought was fair. It was just with a big party, I almost felt like we needed more than two pots for 8 people. 4 people to each pot had 12 skewers in it at one time. Just seemed way too hectic for me.

When contestants come visit the lead at their room, do they have any warning they are coming?

Comment: Yes, they know.


Same schpeel – long time listener, first time caller. Reading through Twitter post-show is the absolute best, especially the past contestants commentary. There seemed to be lots of love for Wills for potential last night – what do you think?

I know every episode there’s someone Twitter gets obsessed with, and we’ll probably move on to the Blake/Jason for Bachelor hype next, but maybe they’ll do their first black Bachelor? Kind of related but not really, do you think/know if past contestants have any kind of influence on lead choice or the show in general?

Thanks and hope Olivia had a great birthday!

Comment: I don’t see Wills as being the next “Bachelor.”

Hi Steve,

Thanks for sharing the podcast you did with Juliet Litman! You and Juliet discussed on the podcast that the Bachelorette has a much higher success rate than the Bachelor. You both seemed to chalk it up to that the women are more serious about the process and more in tune with their emotions. You also mentioned how Fleiss and co. has said the Bachelorette is always a harder show to produce because the men are less likely to have organic drama and do not tend to hold grudges against the other guys. Question…

Have you ever considered that the reason the Bachelorette is more successful in couples staying together is more to do with the gender of the final pick vs. gender of the lead? Being the winner on this show can’t be easy when you watch back the relationships the lead formed with the other contestants. Perhaps the male winners of the Bachelorette are better at moving past that their now fiancé, dating/sleeping/having feelings with multiple people through the course of the show then the female winners are at the end of the Bachelor. As a woman, I would have an extremely hard time knowing the Bachelor, my now fiancé, had very intimate relationships with people days before proposing. I think about Lauren and Ben when she admitted how much it hurt that he told Jojo he loved her and the damaging effect on their relationship. While I’m sure the male winners on the Bachelorette are bothered too, they seem to be able to better compartmentalize what happened on the show from their real life relationship. Im curious to hear your thoughts, thanks!

Comment: I’m sure that plays a role as well. You’re right. It isn’t easy to watch back. I don’t think we’ve ever had a final couple sit up there and say, “Yes, we watched the show together every Monday night and it was a blast! We had so much fun.” I’m sure it affected some more than others seeing their fiancé be intimate with more than them. But they also knew it was coming. So some just handled it differently. I think Lauren was affected like she was because of the two “I Love You’s” that Ben gave out. I don’t know how that couldn’t have bothered her.

Hi Steve,

I usually cut right to the chase in all my emails but I figured I would first start off by saying that I’ve been a loyal follower since your Jason and Molly spoiler and only this year got a twitter account just to be able to see your updates. I am still in middle of your podcast with Marikh and I love it so far. I also really enjoyed your podcast with Juliet, and I am looking forward to listening to the He Said she Said podcast with Ashley Spivey. When you said that Leo got that post drama date which shows that Becca isn’t as into him, it got me thinking. Wasn’t he set up to go on his date before the group date drama even happened? When they announced the guys going on the group date, Leo was left out due to him receiving a one on one that episode. Just trying to clarify.

Comment: Yes. It was more a matter of speech. We saw what happened with Wills. I didn’t literally mean he was specifically given the date after the group date drama since they couldn’t have known beforehand what would happen (although I’m sure they had an idea). I was more referring to after the fact, knowing how Wills date went, that Leo ended up in the same boat.

Hi Steve,

Long time reader, first time emailer.

I had a quick question about Clay. I was telling my dad about him since he’s a football fanatic and he knew the name. His theory is Clay went on the Bachelorette to get his name out there to be signed with a team (prior to this I think he was on injured reserve or something).

He had a free football reel, creates some good guy buzz and then a team looking for a tight end knows his name. When he got injured, he mentioned wanting 3 more years in the NFL, which is a brilliant move announcing he wants a 3 year contract.

He gets injured, but then announces on twitter that he made a full recovery right before training camp.

You think this is possible or know if anything came out about Clay’s motives?

Comment: Clay didn’t need to do this show to get on NFL teams radars for next season. It’s not like he was some scrub who’d never played in the league before, or was just trying to break in. He’s a 9 year NFL vet. Although he’s been on a few teams, NFL people know who he is. And it’s not like being on this show had anything to do with whether he could play in the league. It’s a separate entity. He’s either gonna make a roster because he’s healthy and a team thinks he can contribute next season or he isn’t. It won’t be based on him appearing on the “Bachelorette.”

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.



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