Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Tabloids, & the Social Media Hate Continues

Photo Credit: ABC


Hi Steve,

Wondering if there are ever contestants that come on the show, and truly are not interested in the lead?

Could this be the case when seemingly good guys (grocery store Joe) go home right away?

Comment: Plenty. The list is long.

Hi Steve,

hope I got it right: Colton contacted Tia while Becca was still engaged with Arie. At this point Tia was probably under discussion for the next Bachelorette. So he reached out for the possible Bachelorette imo. As Colton and Tia are obviously very interested in this franchise (cough cough) my questions are:

How are the rules about people knowing each other before the show, especially dating before? If Tia would have been the Bachelorette, would Colton be allowed to be a contestant, or would they have to hide their dating past if necessary?

Do you think Colton is clever and calculating enough to date Tia just BECAUSE she could be the Bachelorette, and when they have good chemistry he’d go a long way on the show? That would imply both agree about a common strategy. He get’s his prime time and she would have a man in the race she really likes – and who knows how to work the system. Even an engagement (and amicable breakup later) would be fine with someone who is on the same page.

Any known cases when a pair, or people dating used the franchise like this? It’s just a theory of course, I know nothing about Colton and Tia and their true intentions. But Tia used these theme 100% franchise suitable and both worked a lot of publicity out of it.

Tks to your spoiler I know they’re no couple after BIP. But: Would be the end of participating as a contestant, right? There are still the winter games …

Thank you!

Comment: You ask a lot of great questions. Unfortunately, there are no black and white answers to any of them. We just don’t know. Your timeline does seem correct though. We don’t know the rules about dating someone pre-show who appears on the first night because, as far as I know, it’s never happened. Some have met before, some maybe have spoken before, but we haven’t had two people who spent a weekend together where one of them shows up on the other’s season. It just hasn’t happened and I doubt it ever will. That would be a complete unfair advantage to the rest of the cast. The closest they came was allowing Nick on Kaitlyn’s season, and I guess in a way that was more unfair since he got to show up mid season.

This show, as ridiculous as it is, still has to keep this air of authenticity to the fans who don’t read up on it, don’t follow spoilers, don’t read blogs and listen to podcasts about the show, and turn their brains off the second the show goes off the air on Monday night. Bringing someone on who dated the lead would take that away.

Hi Steve! Long time fan of yours! Thank you for all of your spoils! A few questions for you!

1. Do you know if Becca breaks up with Blake before heading to the final “rose ceremony” or does she make him go through with it? Don’t know.

2. Seeing that Blake and Jason both were not in paradise, that leads me to believe that they are the main ones running for the next Bachelor. However, do you think that maybe Colton didn’t go through with things with Tia in Paradise because he thought maybe he could get the lead? I’m interested to hear your take on this and who you think has the best chance of being the new Bachelor. I’m sure he’d take it in a heartbeat. I just don’t think he’s gonna get the gig.

3. Do you think that Colton telling Becca that he is a virgin had more to do with Becca sending him home next week rather than sending him home because Tia came to her about her feelings for Colton? Maybe a combination of the two? Becca said Tia had nothing to do with her decision. So either you think she lied or you believe her. There’s really no gray area there.

4. Overall, I think this has been a great season of the Bachelorette. Becca has handled it with lots of grace, and I applaud her for that. How are you enjoying this season? The same as any others really. Becca I’ve been fine with. But I think she got screwed with some of her cast being a bunch of knotheads. And with all the post-show reveals on the guys, it’s taken away from her season for sure.

5. It does kind of surprise me at this point in the show that Garrett wins. I know that she has had a connection with him from the get-go, but the producers are definitely making it out to look like her and Blake have the strongest connection. Maybe they aren’t going as in-depth with her and Garrett’s connection because they want to trick the viewers. Unsure. Thoughts?

Thank you!

Comment: It’s possible. I don’t read into stuff like that. It’s pointless. She picked Garrett. I don’t care about their edit. Because some people think the complete opposite of you and say it’s so obvious it’s Garrett and has been since the first night. So I don’t really see the need to dissect who it seems like she’s into more since that’s completely subjective. My job is to find out who she’s with, that’s Garrett, you’ve known for 2 months, and the season just plays out as it plays.

Hi Steve!

Thank you so much for all you do! I enjoy the Bachelor franchise so much more now getting to follow along with your commentary and insight.

Is it bad that the FIRST thing I thought when I read that Colton and Tia didn’t leave a couple on BIP is that Colton is really, really stretching for that Bachelor role? Between his virginity story, his romantic interests not panning out with Becca OR Tia, and then to see twitter practically drool over him and tweet the franchise to make him the Bachelor every week/episode…it is setting him up really nicely.

I know you said it would probably be too much of Colton on the screen to get the role, but I guess after Nick and Arie I do not think it would surprise me. (Clearly I do not want to see Colton as the Bachelor ha)


Comment: Yeah, I guess nothing should surprise anyone anymore, but I think everything with the Colton/Becca/Tia storyline this past episode, which will then lead into their relationship in Paradise – that’s about enough. He doesn’t need yet a THIRD storyline for next season as the “Bachelor.” It’d be overkill. He got his run on “Bachelorette” and “Paradise.” Now he should just turn his attention to some other reality starlet because we know it’s coming.

I’ve been reading your blog since DeAnna’s season (I was so rooting for Graham), but I have never felt the need to e-mail because you usually answer all of my questions in your recaps. But this season I have three questions:

1. What do you think happened to ANY sort of Lincoln exit interview? Did you notice they just totally ignored him and focused on Chris (who I honestly didn’t care what he had to say at that point)? I think they realized they wanted no part of giving him the decency to show us his feelings on his way out the door. Which was the right call.

2. Who do you think isn’t going to show to the Men Tell All? Is it in their contract? There have been people who haven’t shown in the past. It’ll be pretty much every guy from episode 2 on minus Lincoln.

3. Why is she so obsessed with Colton? Like I get that he’s hot as HELL, but honestly, he’s not the most….interesting human besides staring at him.

Thanks for continuing to make watching this show worth it!

Comment: Who – Becca or Tia? You’d have to ask them. I ask myself the same question. Posed it yesterday when talking about Tia. She’s got a lot going for her. I cannot understand why she was so hung up on Colton enough to come back on the show to tell Becca that.

Hi Steve,

First time emailer (shocking intro right), I really enjoy your podcast, thanks for making each season bearable, anyways on to my questions.

1) I read somewhere, a bachelor spoilers Facebook page i believe, that said Ben Higgins is controlling and has a bad temper. While this isn’t that juicy of gossip, I feel like Ben portrays himself quite opposite. Have you heard this? I hear a lot of things. But the second I ever confirm something like that, I never hear the end of it. I’ll just leave it at that. I may have heard those things, I may not. I may have heard other things about him. But the Ben-atics are an annoying bunch to deal with so sometimes you just have to lay back and not rattle their cage and let them live in fantasy land.

2) a lot of podcasts have Facebook pages for listeners to discuss the podcast, would you consider creating one of these? No. I put notifications on my FB fan page every time a new column/podcast goes up. If people want to comment underneath that, have at it. I’m not sure what creating a separate page for people to talk about the podcasts would do other than give people another outlet to snipe back and forth at each other. I hate them to begin with. No need to add to it.
Keep up the spoiling!!


I heard in one of your recent podcasts that you’re a In-N-Out fan. I know you’re from Southern California; I’m from the DC area/Northern Virginia (home of Five Guys). It may just be that we’re both subject to hometown bias, but do you really think that In-N-Out is the best fast food burger out there? I travel to LA a lot, and I’m always struck by how inferior In-N-Out seems to be compared to Five Guys. Is there something I’m missing?

Comment: Yes. I do. Just like you think Five Guys is better. Completely subjective.

Hi Steve,

I was wondering two things – do you know if there’s a reason they have done fewer scary daredevil type dates in recent seasons? There used to be usually at least one per season that involved heights, and cheesy analogies of the scary experience being just like a relationship and helping each other through it and bringing them closer etc but it seems to not be so many of those lately. Didn’t really think about it until you brought it up. Not sure why they haven’t.

Secondly, and I think I’ve asked you this before but I’ll ask again, what would happen if someone just flat-out refused to participate in the scary daredevil activity that was set up for them? I believe your response before was that it would just never ever happen, but hypothetically? I can say with 100% certainty that if it was me who was sent on a date involving heights of ANY sort that it would for sure happen. I feel slightly uneasy standing on a chair or ladder, I’ve had a panic attack less than 15 feet up a climbing wall, just to give you examples, and I’m pretty sure I have a diagnosable phobia of heights that originates from a traumatic fall which resulted in a significant injury years ago. No amount of producer persuasion or manipulation could get me to bungee jump, rappel off a building, climb up the bay bridge, or anything like that. I’m pretty sure I would pass out first. It would not be a case of the bachelor helping me overcome my fears and comforting me through something that’s kind of hard for me, it would be a case of a literal panic attack, tears, all of that. Would I automatically be sent home for refusing? Would they just not show it and find some other date activity for us to do? Or would they show me refusing to do something that terrified me and the guy accepting it (as should be the case)?

Thanks Steve, love your column and podcasts, I’ve listened to them all and really like you and Ashley together on the new one, keep them coming!

Comment: I mean, you say that now because you don’t have to be in that situation. But with a whole team of people there protecting you from getting hurt, and this guy there who you are basically trying to woo yourself, I have a feeling you’d do it just to get through it. It’s easy to play Monday Morning QB in this situation and say you’d never do it. I think you would.

Hi Steve,

I have a Survivor question. I was looking at Sebastian and Jenna’s Instagram from Survivor 36 (did you know they’re dating? @tarzanandjen) and they mentioned that they were flirting on the flight out to Fiji for 11 hours and after the show they got tattoos of the seat numbers that they sat in that day. Do contestants always fly together? I was surprised to hear that they had been able to talk for so long on the plane prior to filming even starting.

Thanks for your time! Excited for next season. PS: Do you plan to watch Eliza on the Amazing Race?

Comment: Yeah I heard they were dating. It was public towards the end of 36 airing I believe. And yes, I do believe the cast all flies out together.

Well, I’ll probably watch Amazing Race until Eliza gets eliminated, whenever that may be.

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  1. megggggg

    July 18, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    They let that one girl Nick had slept with at a party on his season? She got sent home but still.

  2. rob22

    July 18, 2018 at 9:50 AM

    Re: the Five Guys and In and Out comparison. We have Five Guys where I live and I used to live in California and go back often. To me, they’re very different and difficult to compare. Five Guys gives much larger burgers, much bigger orders of fries and are much more expensive. They also do allow you to customize your toppings. I like Five Guys. But to me, an In and Out Double-Double, with grilled onions and well-done fries “animal style” wins every day. I love the ability to order off the “secret menu”. It’s fun. That doesn’t mean Five Guys is bad. It’s just not the best.

  3. corn29

    July 18, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    > There’s a MAJOR difference between criticizing the contestants
    > and their actions on the show

    This is weird becuase when people criticize actions on the show, the general RealitySteve group think is don’t criticize them becuase the show is edits, scripted, etc.

    So… can one criticize actions or not? Again, given the group think in here, the answer is not so much.

    > We don’t know the rules about dating someone pre-show who appears
    > on the first night because, as far as I know, it’s never happened

    It may not be “dating” per se but didn’t Nick have prior contact (hookup at a wedding) with one of his contestants? She even mentioned it ITM on first night in the mansion if I recall correctly.

    > and I’m always struck by how inferior In-N-Out seems to be compared
    > to Five Guys. Is there something I’m missing?

    The In-N-Out by LAX is horrible. But otherwise, In-N-Out kicks 5 Guy’s ass… and twice on Sunday. I’m from Michigan so I have no civic pride in this discussion.

  4. jlal

    July 18, 2018 at 11:36 AM

    It is crazy how vile those people are on social media; that is one reason why I don’t participate.

    What I can’t believe is that anyone actually thought Becca was serious about Colton for even a minute. It is well known the majority of the leads “pick or know” who they want from the beginning. At least from a woman’s perspective, you know who you have chemistry with and who you don’t. There may be others you find attractive or have fun with, but you know who the main man is going to be. I think the entire Colton, Tia, Becca thing was totally manufactured for drama. Once the show realized Becca didn’t have anything going for Colton, they wanted to prime him for a potential bachelor gig. He is good looking, has the sports thing, and the virgin storyline going. So, they pulled in Tia to the spa to create doubt and drama. Plus, if more than one woman wants him it ups his capital. Then they bring Tia back for the she still cares drama. Also, Becca saying Tia had nothing to do with her decision is right, because she wasn’t interested in him to begin with.

    After last week I’d really like to see Blake as the next bachelor, with Jason next. Colton is too vanilla.

    As for In and Out or Five Guys, never been to either one. However, my best friend swears by Five Guys.

  5. adelina

    July 18, 2018 at 6:24 PM

    @jlal – I’m with you on the order of next Bach — although I think Jason is pretty darn sexy and a bit more manly than Blake.

  6. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 3:37 AM

    adelina – I agree that Jason is sexy. He is not conventionally good looking, but there is something about him that is so sexy. Not sure if I agree on him being more manly, but will call it a draw between them!

  7. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 6:47 AM

    I agree with both of you that Jason is sexy and would LOVE to see him as the next Bachelor! I really like Blake but not sure he’s cut out for the lead…after seeing him in his hometown date I felt he was very emotional and uber sensitive. And I am so NOT looking forward to seeing his reaction when Becca turns doesn’t choose him in the end. It will NOT be pretty! My heart already breaks for him. And besides being sexy, Jason has such a great personality…think he’d make a better/more fun Bachelor! But I’d be happy with either of them…both good eye candy 🙂

  8. rob22

    July 19, 2018 at 7:32 AM

    I think they have some guys to choose from for The Bachelor, but I’m still going with Ben 2.0!! Hahaha, I know you all hate that idea.

  9. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 7:45 AM

    With regard to the next Bachelor, I fancy neither Jason or Ben, I’ll watch whoever they pick! Lol 🙂

  10. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    PLEASE, NO Ben 2.0!! I cannot take another snooze fest…nice guy but SO boring. And nowhere near as sexy as Jason or Blake!

  11. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:03 AM

    Please, please no Ben 2.0 – agree ctrealitygirl that he is boring.
    Interesting nobody thinks Colton would make a good one. I don’t either, just find that interesting because I think the show was priming him to be the next.They may back off though if the fans want someone else.
    Right now I’m on team Blake. There is something about him that reminds me of Scott Eastwood. Not quiet the pretty boy Eastwood is, but still hot as heck.

  12. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:04 AM

    quite, not quiet. Wish you could edit your posts on this site.

  13. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 11:51 AM

    From this last episode, it kind of feels like they’re setting Blake up with a good back story…heart crushed, etc. Which they often do when they’re promoting someone as the lead 🙂 …hope I’m right!

  14. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    I think Blake would be a good choice! 😉

  15. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    For looks only, I prefer Colton. I don’t think he’d make a great Bachelor though, he seems too immature to me.

  16. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 4:45 PM

    I think Blake is the best looking guy on the show. Agree Colton is too immature. Normally I like the all American look, but he misses the mark for me.

  17. mariet

    July 19, 2018 at 7:38 PM

    Joe the Grocer will not find love on BIP. He already has a fan base. He (hopefully) will be the the next Bachelor. He’s adorable. Ben 2.0. Yuck. No way.

  18. jlal

    July 20, 2018 at 3:46 AM

    Joe was cute, I could get behind him as bachelor. However, unless he gets really popular on BIP the show probably won’t think he has a big enough following. Actually, the more I think about it the more I like Joe for the bachelor. It will be interesting to learn his personality on BIP.

  19. adelina

    July 20, 2018 at 3:57 PM

    Yes yes yes!!!! Joe the Grocer from Chicago (my city) would be perfect. He is a good midwestern boy and would be perfect.

    I’ll also take Jason – his look is normally not my style, but the boy is sexy. Plus he’s got the gay bro whom he adores, which is hot.

    Blake – just too howdy doody for me. Nice guy, but too frat boy. His style throws me….like dude, no. Just no.

    Colton – um…no….he’s a child. An inexperienced child at that.

    Ben 2.0 – God no please. Too vanilla. Too shiny. Just no.

  20. ctrealitygirl

    July 23, 2018 at 9:29 AM

    I’m with you Adelina! I’m voting for Jason to be the next Bachelor! And I’m with you about NO Ben.2. Funny…last week they aired a new Lipsync Battle episode with Ben Higgins paired against Rachel Lindsay and Ben really let his hair down…quite a different Ben from when he was Bachelor. Couldn’t help but wonder, if ABC was behind him getting that gig to start changing his image and groom him for the lead…something to ponder on1

  21. upmyalley

    July 24, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Ben 2.0 NO! No! No! No no!

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