Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Tabloids, & the Social Media Hate Continues

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve,

A pattern that I’ve noticed throughout the years is that during the final few rose ceremonies, the lead will always walk the person getting eliminated out.

When they return, we typically see the remaining contestants just standing there and not mingling.

Are they not allowed to talk to each other? Or do they mingle and then the producers tell them that they have to stay quiet again when the lead walks back in the room?

I’m just wondering since I know they’re all separated and staying in separate rooms by the time that the final four roll around so I wasn’t sure if they are allowed to talk at all?

Comment: I’ve been told that there is no talking to each other. They don’t want any contestants talking to others about how their hometown went or anything like that. Basically once they hit final four, you’re separated from the other contestants until the rose ceremony.

Hey Reality Steve, I’ve got some questions/comments questions for you:

1) I’ve noticed that Becca has surpassed Rachel in followers on instagram. Why do you think that is? It’s weird to me because Rachel seems to have a personality (based on what was shown to us on the Bachelor/ette) and we actually got to know her. We don’t know much about Becca except for the stuff about her dad and the fact that she was engaged to Arie and then dumped by him for his F2 girl on national TV…I have absolutely no idea.

2) I don’t think Colton was ever that into Tia. Let’s say that Tia did what she did because she didn’t think Colton would’ve gone that far, if Colton was sent home early and didn’t text/call, then shouldn’t it be obvious that he isn’t into Tia just by the fact that there was no contact made? I also don’t understand why AFTER Becca asked for the go-ahead in episode 3 that Tia didn’t just say no instead of saying yes. There’s no way she had an epiphany a week before hometowns that “oh yeah, I really like Colton.” And if she did, isn’t hometowns a little late, what if Colton was the one Becca was planning on choosing at the end of this? These are of course, all hypotheticals but still. There’s no way she didn’t have the slightest clue that this wouldn’t look bad for her. These are all questions for Tia. Impossible to answer for her on this. Although, I do think when she told her in episode 3 it was fine to go date, she certainly could’ve been trying to convince herself she was over him when she really wasn’t.

Moving on….

3) I’m not a fan of a lot of Bachelor contestants but I still would not go on their social media page and leave hate. It’s a waste of time. I do think it’s funny though how if Tia was offered to be the Bachelorette, she’d definitely take it despite the fact that they edited her in such a bad light. Just like a lot of contestants. How do these contestants balance the betrayal that they must feel when it comes to the producers and editors and the desire to be famous/live a certain lifestyle? I have immense respect for Olivia Caridi for realizing that it’s not worth it, it’ll only get worst and deciding against doing anymore Bachelor shows. They’d pretty much all take it in a heartbeat. I think they just choose only to look at the positives and the perks that come from being in that role, and none of them think about all the negativity that can come with it. They just don’t care. Until it happens.

4) I’m not a fan of Garrett, won’t pretend otherwise and I don’t see him and Becca lasting long term. If Becca really believes in liberal values and feminism than Garrett should be a turnoff. I think part of the reason Becca’s drawn to him is because he was married and went through heartbreak so she thinks she can relate. But a huge red flag for me is the fact that he blames all of the negativity of his marriage on his ex. He did absolutely nothing wrong, was a perfect angel. Even worse, from what we’ve seen, Becca hasn’t questioned any of it. I don’t think she’s compatible with any of her final three. They all seem like surface-level relationships: Jason – it’s all physical, Garrett – he reminds her of her dad but I still don’t get why? Is it because he likes to fish and hunt? They seem to relate on heartbreak. Blake – it seems like they too relate over heartbreak. Can’t say I disagree with any of that.

5) Also how awkward is it that Garrett’s liked homophobic stuff and Jason has a gay brother? Or that he liked a post about the Parkland victims being crisis actors and Blake is a school shooting survivor? Certainly was a little cringeworthy when watching.

6) How do you think Becca’s doing as Bachelorette? I know ratings have been consistent but I (along with many others) agree that this season has been a snoozefest. I also think that were it not for the Lincoln/Garrett drama, this season would be even more boring. Monday got the highest ratings of the season and basically more than any episode of Rachel’s season. I hear the same things every season and pretty much nothing changes. This show’s ratings are solid, they win their 2 hr time block every Monday in the Women 18-54 range, and that’s an advertisers wet dream.

7) I pity Christen W. I feel like she tries her hardest to insert herself into the Bachelor Nation cliques and it’s so obvious that she’ll never really be part of them. Also, after they kind of did her dirty on BIP4, a failed stint on The Proposal, I cannot for the life of me understand why she’d go back on the show. Because they can’t NOT go on the show when offered. They’ll all claim FOMO. When for the most part, it’s just them wanting to keep their name out there. I wish they’d just admit it.

8) Robby for BIP5, really??? Good thing he’s only on one episode basically.

Hey Steve,

I want a male perspective on this. I know the fantasy suites are part of the “journey” but do you think guys accept it easier than girls? Im basing it off the generic stereotype that guys are more physical than girls. For example, I think Garrett and Bryan would have an easier time accepting that their fiancé slept with the runner up versus the girls accepting that their fiancé slept with other girls in the fantasy suite. ( unless you’re josh murray ) I think it’s a case-by-case basis. There’s no universal answer for this one. I think it’s always gotta be awkward for either sex to know their fiancé slept with someone else days before they accepted/were proposed to.

Also, it’s apparent that the top 4 guys all follow each other on instagram wjth the exception of Garrett and Blake because neither of them follow each other. Do you know if they had any issues with each other (peter and bryan) or was it that they both realized they were each other’s biggest competition? Although i find it very weird when the final two follow each other like Lauren B and JoJo did.

Comment: I didn’t hear of any issues between the two. I don’t think there were.

Hey Steve,

I’ve been loving all of The Challenge people you’ve been having on your podcast. I would seriously love if you did a Challenge recap or something. Do you have any Challenge competitor favorites? Do you think that Johnny Bananas will ever decide to not do a Challenge? I think he’ll be a lifer. Maybe. If he wins a Challenge in glorious fashion, I can see him calling it quits going out on top.

I listen to Ben & Ashley’s podcast and am seriously irritated with how blatantly obvious the information they reiterate is taken from your website. They look dumb. Not that they need any more help with that lol. I don’t listen. I wouldn’t know. But does it surprise me to hear? No. Spoilers are a major part of the show now. And with so many blogs and podcasts about the show, if you talk or mention spoilers, it’s obvious where it came from. If they don’t want to credit where they get it from, that’s on them. I’ve already said what I said in the past on them when it was brought to my attention about what they did. I’m over it. Their show is not my concern.

Unpopular opinion: I do not think Ben Higgins is as great as everyone makes him out to be. He is such a dweeb. You probably don’t give a crap about Ben Higgins (why would you) but the other day, on his and Ashley’s podcast, he was talking about how he “twerks” his golf club and that the dance move actually has other meanings. Like what? Does he mean torque? Tweak? Like come on Ben, you sound rather uneducated. This is just one example of how he gets words confused… another is mixing up Volvo (the car brand) and vulva on a past podcast. LOL. Anyhow, thought I’d share that little rant.

The Bachelorette was a snooze fest with these hometowns. Couldn’t believe how lame Blake came across by showing Becca his high school. *major face palm*

Anyhow, thanks for the BIP spoilers this week, I think the season will be fairly entertaining!

Comment: BIP is going to be a sh** show pretty much like it is every season. But that’s why people watch.

Hi Steve,

Poor Becca. She and Garrett have such different world views that I don’t see how it’s going to work — especially not with people so divided right now.

My related question: does this show make ANY effort to find the lead potential matches that actually make sense? Obviously they choose a certain amount of Jordan-types for drama, and I know you’ve said they bring in “filler” people. Out of 28 or so contestants, how many of them are chosen with the lead in mind? Or are so focused on casting a show that they care 0% about matchmaking?

Comment: Maybe 2 or 3. But it’s definitely not a matchmaking show. If they get one, that’s just a bonus.

Hi Steve,

I have a comment and some questions for you.

I laughed when I read in your post today that none of Chris Soules’ final six girls wanted to live in Bumblef**k, IA. I am from the middle of nowhere in South Dakota, so basically the same thing. I live in Des Moines now, and I remember when the girls came to Des Moines during his season. They all said, “oh, Iowa isn’t bad!” Or, “I could live here!” Newsflash, girls. Des Moines is a decent sized city. Most of IA is BFE. Anyways, moving on to my questions…

Do you know if Blake’s mom is married to his former coach? I noticed there seemed to be two dad-like figures at Blake’s hometown, one being his dad, but was the other his mom’s new husband? Former coach or no? If so, awkward. I thought when he initially told the story, he said his mom ended up marrying that guy. I could be wrong. But I really don’t know the dynamics now in that family.

I assume Colton’s talk with Chris Harrison before the rose ceremony was 100% producer-driven, and it made me cringe. They had to know he was going home and wanted to milk the virgin thing one last time. I guess this isn’t a question, just wondering your thoughts. 99% of the things you see on this show are producer driven.

Lastly, do you know if the majority of family members get paid for appearing on hometowns like Jason’s brother did? Would he have had to ask for it? Maybe if they pool these $40 checks together, they could afford to go somewhere other than Virginia next season. I guess it’s probably better than going to Iowa, though…

Thanks for all of your hard work!

Comment: Honestly, the contestants aren’t paid, so I was shocked to see Jason’s brother post a $40 check from the show. I’d never heard of family members getting paid to be on. News to me.

RS…who do you think you are? Why do you even do this? YOu barely had any spoielrs for this season, you gave us nothing on BIP today, and it looks like all your sources are drying up. No one even reads you anymore! I’m sure you’re going to enjoy being irrelevant pretty soon. You’re so pathetic. Have a great day.

Comment: Same song and dance I hear every season. Nothing changes. To even respond to such nonsense is pointless. I let my work speak for itself. But I’m doing great, thanks. Keep reading.

Hi! First time emailing. Thanks for the spoilers, makes the show more bearable to watch knowing who goes home when. Some questions,

1. I took a break from the bachelor/bachelorette when Nick became the bachelor because I thought it was such a joke. I recently got back into it because from what I saw, I liked Becca but I’m ready to take another break if Colton becomes the Bachelor. What do you think the percentage of that is? Is that why he broke it off with tia in paradise before the whole final rose/engagement part of the show? So he could have a chance at the bachelor gig? I can see that, I feel like he’s very calculated. That seems to be what people are thinking. It’s still early. I haven’t heard anything on that front.

2. Or is it Ben H.?? I was ok with Brad because social media wasn’t how it was but Ben again? He was fine the first time, but nothing special. Oh boy. Here we go.

3. Is it just me or does it seem like Colton is trying to capitalize on his virginity? One would think it would be an embarrassing thing, and there are some that don’t believe him i.e Corrine. But just feel like he’s milking it, defending it too much and trying to play this nice guy angle when it’s clear he wants fame just as much as the next guy who comes on these shows. I’ve found the whole thing odd from the beginning. He never told his dad, yet he’ll tell 6 million strangers on national television?

4. I enjoyed your interview with Jemmye! I love how she’s cool with everyone but is still willing to answer questions about them and throw shade haha. Any plans to have anyone else from the final reckoning season soon?

Comment: As of right now, I believe my next 4-6 weeks of podcasts are booked. Assuming people don’t cancel on me, none are from “Final Reckoning.” But after that, I’m sure there will be some on.

Couple questions.

-When you posted the spoilers for this season you had mentioned that during the debate Chris had said that Lincoln and Jason were talking crap about Becca. Did you hear if they were actually talking crap about her or if Chris was in defense mode and was just saying whatever he could think of. Actually, what was said was, during the debate, Lincoln referenced the fact that one of the guys back at the house at that time talked crap about her. There were only 2 guys back at the house not on the debate date at that time, and that was Leo and Jason. I was originally told it was Jason, but it ended up being Leo.

-I remember reading in the Episode by Episode spoilers you had mentioned that Colton wasn’t too happy/ annoyed about Tia talking to Becca. Do you know if he was told about the situation when he was still there or if it was once he came home. I don’t know at what point Colton found out that Tia had approached Becca before the rose ceremony and told her she still had feelings for him.

-I listened to Juliet Litmans podcast with Robert Mills and when they were talking about Ashley and Jared getting engaged Robert made a comment that he had heard Kevin was pretty bothered and witnessesing the proposal threw him for a loop. Did you hear anything about this? Or if it bugged him? Well he was there and still on the show when it happened. I have no idea if he was bothered by it.

-Last week I was listening to your podcast and at the beginning where you talk about rating and subscribing you mentioned that if we’re already subscribed we can unsubscribe and then resubscribe and it would help out. Did I understand that right? Does unsubscribing and re-subscribing help? If so I’ll make sure I do it every time I listen to your podcast

Comment: Yeah, it does. You can just hit the button to unsubscribe then re-subscribe anytime there’s a new one. It’s such a weird system, I know. Trust me, I still don’t really understand it.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. megggggg

    July 18, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    They let that one girl Nick had slept with at a party on his season? She got sent home but still.

  2. rob22

    July 18, 2018 at 9:50 AM

    Re: the Five Guys and In and Out comparison. We have Five Guys where I live and I used to live in California and go back often. To me, they’re very different and difficult to compare. Five Guys gives much larger burgers, much bigger orders of fries and are much more expensive. They also do allow you to customize your toppings. I like Five Guys. But to me, an In and Out Double-Double, with grilled onions and well-done fries “animal style” wins every day. I love the ability to order off the “secret menu”. It’s fun. That doesn’t mean Five Guys is bad. It’s just not the best.

  3. corn29

    July 18, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    > There’s a MAJOR difference between criticizing the contestants
    > and their actions on the show

    This is weird becuase when people criticize actions on the show, the general RealitySteve group think is don’t criticize them becuase the show is edits, scripted, etc.

    So… can one criticize actions or not? Again, given the group think in here, the answer is not so much.

    > We don’t know the rules about dating someone pre-show who appears
    > on the first night because, as far as I know, it’s never happened

    It may not be “dating” per se but didn’t Nick have prior contact (hookup at a wedding) with one of his contestants? She even mentioned it ITM on first night in the mansion if I recall correctly.

    > and I’m always struck by how inferior In-N-Out seems to be compared
    > to Five Guys. Is there something I’m missing?

    The In-N-Out by LAX is horrible. But otherwise, In-N-Out kicks 5 Guy’s ass… and twice on Sunday. I’m from Michigan so I have no civic pride in this discussion.

  4. jlal

    July 18, 2018 at 11:36 AM

    It is crazy how vile those people are on social media; that is one reason why I don’t participate.

    What I can’t believe is that anyone actually thought Becca was serious about Colton for even a minute. It is well known the majority of the leads “pick or know” who they want from the beginning. At least from a woman’s perspective, you know who you have chemistry with and who you don’t. There may be others you find attractive or have fun with, but you know who the main man is going to be. I think the entire Colton, Tia, Becca thing was totally manufactured for drama. Once the show realized Becca didn’t have anything going for Colton, they wanted to prime him for a potential bachelor gig. He is good looking, has the sports thing, and the virgin storyline going. So, they pulled in Tia to the spa to create doubt and drama. Plus, if more than one woman wants him it ups his capital. Then they bring Tia back for the she still cares drama. Also, Becca saying Tia had nothing to do with her decision is right, because she wasn’t interested in him to begin with.

    After last week I’d really like to see Blake as the next bachelor, with Jason next. Colton is too vanilla.

    As for In and Out or Five Guys, never been to either one. However, my best friend swears by Five Guys.

  5. adelina

    July 18, 2018 at 6:24 PM

    @jlal – I’m with you on the order of next Bach — although I think Jason is pretty darn sexy and a bit more manly than Blake.

  6. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 3:37 AM

    adelina – I agree that Jason is sexy. He is not conventionally good looking, but there is something about him that is so sexy. Not sure if I agree on him being more manly, but will call it a draw between them!

  7. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 6:47 AM

    I agree with both of you that Jason is sexy and would LOVE to see him as the next Bachelor! I really like Blake but not sure he’s cut out for the lead…after seeing him in his hometown date I felt he was very emotional and uber sensitive. And I am so NOT looking forward to seeing his reaction when Becca turns doesn’t choose him in the end. It will NOT be pretty! My heart already breaks for him. And besides being sexy, Jason has such a great personality…think he’d make a better/more fun Bachelor! But I’d be happy with either of them…both good eye candy 🙂

  8. rob22

    July 19, 2018 at 7:32 AM

    I think they have some guys to choose from for The Bachelor, but I’m still going with Ben 2.0!! Hahaha, I know you all hate that idea.

  9. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 7:45 AM

    With regard to the next Bachelor, I fancy neither Jason or Ben, I’ll watch whoever they pick! Lol 🙂

  10. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    PLEASE, NO Ben 2.0!! I cannot take another snooze fest…nice guy but SO boring. And nowhere near as sexy as Jason or Blake!

  11. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:03 AM

    Please, please no Ben 2.0 – agree ctrealitygirl that he is boring.
    Interesting nobody thinks Colton would make a good one. I don’t either, just find that interesting because I think the show was priming him to be the next.They may back off though if the fans want someone else.
    Right now I’m on team Blake. There is something about him that reminds me of Scott Eastwood. Not quiet the pretty boy Eastwood is, but still hot as heck.

  12. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:04 AM

    quite, not quiet. Wish you could edit your posts on this site.

  13. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 11:51 AM

    From this last episode, it kind of feels like they’re setting Blake up with a good back story…heart crushed, etc. Which they often do when they’re promoting someone as the lead 🙂 …hope I’m right!

  14. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    I think Blake would be a good choice! 😉

  15. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    For looks only, I prefer Colton. I don’t think he’d make a great Bachelor though, he seems too immature to me.

  16. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 4:45 PM

    I think Blake is the best looking guy on the show. Agree Colton is too immature. Normally I like the all American look, but he misses the mark for me.

  17. mariet

    July 19, 2018 at 7:38 PM

    Joe the Grocer will not find love on BIP. He already has a fan base. He (hopefully) will be the the next Bachelor. He’s adorable. Ben 2.0. Yuck. No way.

  18. jlal

    July 20, 2018 at 3:46 AM

    Joe was cute, I could get behind him as bachelor. However, unless he gets really popular on BIP the show probably won’t think he has a big enough following. Actually, the more I think about it the more I like Joe for the bachelor. It will be interesting to learn his personality on BIP.

  19. adelina

    July 20, 2018 at 3:57 PM

    Yes yes yes!!!! Joe the Grocer from Chicago (my city) would be perfect. He is a good midwestern boy and would be perfect.

    I’ll also take Jason – his look is normally not my style, but the boy is sexy. Plus he’s got the gay bro whom he adores, which is hot.

    Blake – just too howdy doody for me. Nice guy, but too frat boy. His style throws me….like dude, no. Just no.

    Colton – um…no….he’s a child. An inexperienced child at that.

    Ben 2.0 – God no please. Too vanilla. Too shiny. Just no.

  20. ctrealitygirl

    July 23, 2018 at 9:29 AM

    I’m with you Adelina! I’m voting for Jason to be the next Bachelor! And I’m with you about NO Ben.2. Funny…last week they aired a new Lipsync Battle episode with Ben Higgins paired against Rachel Lindsay and Ben really let his hair down…quite a different Ben from when he was Bachelor. Couldn’t help but wonder, if ABC was behind him getting that gig to start changing his image and groom him for the lead…something to ponder on1

  21. upmyalley

    July 24, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Ben 2.0 NO! No! No! No no!

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