Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Tabloids, & the Social Media Hate Continues

Photo Credit: ABC

Yesterday sure was a fun day. The trolls came out in full force on Tia. She’d been off social media for about a week because she knew what was coming on Monday’s episode, and it was probably a good idea. Not to mention, the timing of what happened yesterday, just hours after I’d posted about why people have to spew so much hate towards contestants is mind boggling. Apparently a few people didn’t get that message. Of course you’re allowed to question Tia’s actions on the show, why she came back, why she couldn’t let Colton go, is she being a good friend to Becca by confronting her with that right before the rose ceremony – all totally valid points. Hell, I said the exact thing in yesterday’s column because I had those questions myself. You go on this show, you open yourself up to criticism. And it happens from everywhere. I criticize a lot of people on this show for their actions. But never in a million years am I going to anonymously email them and start spewing hatred and cursing at them. I literally said this exact thing yesterday in the column, then hours later, Tia posts on her IG story a message she received from a fan. If you didn’t see me retweet it yesterday, here it is again. You tell me if this is normal human behavior…

I can’t even fathom how screwed up someone is to tell her that. Tell Tia you totally disagree with how she handled the situation. Tell Tia you don’t think she was being a good friend to Becca. Tell Tia she maybe should’ve thought that whole thing through first. Fair game. But THAT? Was that really necessary? Of course it wasn’t. And that’s the point I’m trying to make. There’s a MAJOR difference between criticizing the contestants and their actions on the show, something we all do, and spreading pure hatred. That was uncalled for. Krystal got it during Arie’s season, and I defended her. Kaitlyn got it during her season for sleeping with Nick before the overnights (something other leads have done yet it was never made into a storyline), she was slut shamed left and right, and I defended her. The worst part of all this? Unfortunately, nothing will change. As long as the keyboard warriors are allowed to anonymously sit behind a computer and say whatever they want without any repercussions (outside of a terrorist threat or something of the like), this will continue to happen and it sucks. Yeah, maybe Tia reports that IG account and that person gets suspended. You know they’re just gonna create a new one and do the exact same thing to her again or move on to someone else. I don’t see how people can’t see the difference between criticism of the contestants and spewing hatred. Mind boggling.

Becca came to Tia’s defense yesterday with her say on the situation:

Ok, so if Becca doesn’t have a problem with what Tia did, still calls her a friend, and is over the situation, why are strangers who aren’t affected by this in any way, shape, or form so bent out of shape? How does this affect your life at all that Tia told Becca she still had feelings for Colton? You’re really THAT bothered by this? Why? For what? For whom? It’s pathetic all around, and I’m glad Tia called that person out on the carpet whoever they may be. And maybe it won’t change much, and I’m sure Tia got many more messages that sounded just like that, but at least it could possibly open some people’s eyes to the fact that, “Hey, maybe I shouldn’t take this show so seriously.” It’s all I’ve ever preached on this site for the last, oh I don’t know, 10 years or so. Embarrassing behavior. And even after I tweeted that out, some of the responses that came after that…people still don’t get it. Makes you lose all hope for humanity, I tell ya’.

Tons of you asked this week about the Life & Style report that Becca pulls an Arie this season. Anyone who asked it, I removed it from your questions, because it was probably asked 10 times this week, and I figured I’d just address it here. The first thing I’d say is read the actual story from beginning to end. Nowhere in that story does it ever say that she actually is going to or has pulled an Arie and dumped her choice (Garrett) to go with the guy she originally dumped (Blake). Nowhere. It’s not in there. It’s click bait to get you to read. Becca has not and is not going back to Blake. Now, if you want to discuss the other things in the column about how maybe she closed her mind off during filming, it was all about Garrett, and now maybe she’s realizing he’s not what she envisioned, that’s a conversation to have. I don’t think these two are ultimately going to last. I haven’t heard about any break up as of now. That’s news to me. They’re still together and engaged as far as everything I’ve heard. But it’s certainly going to be an interesting ATFR because I’m sure Garrett is gonna have to address his apology from last month, and yeah, I could see that being a little tense. I just don’t see it in the long run between these two because I think they are pretty different. Not saying people who are different can’t work. But with these two in particular, I just don’t see it.

In case you missed it, yesterday’s 2nd episode of the “He Said, She Said” podcast with myself and Ashley Spivey is now available. You can listen to it on a number of platforms, but you can also tune in by clicking the player below:

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts, RSS, Stitcher, Spotify
Music written by Jimmer Podrasky
(B’Jingo Songs/Machia Music/Bug Music BMI)

Ashley joins me to talk about how you handle keeping an ex’s pictures on your social media pages. Caller Jessica in Texas discusses a toxic friendship she’s currently having (17:35) and then Victoria in San Francisco talks about how she’s dealt with an emotionally abusive ex (42:04).

“Reader Emails” begin on Page 2…

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  1. megggggg

    July 18, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    They let that one girl Nick had slept with at a party on his season? She got sent home but still.

  2. rob22

    July 18, 2018 at 9:50 AM

    Re: the Five Guys and In and Out comparison. We have Five Guys where I live and I used to live in California and go back often. To me, they’re very different and difficult to compare. Five Guys gives much larger burgers, much bigger orders of fries and are much more expensive. They also do allow you to customize your toppings. I like Five Guys. But to me, an In and Out Double-Double, with grilled onions and well-done fries “animal style” wins every day. I love the ability to order off the “secret menu”. It’s fun. That doesn’t mean Five Guys is bad. It’s just not the best.

  3. corn29

    July 18, 2018 at 10:06 AM

    > There’s a MAJOR difference between criticizing the contestants
    > and their actions on the show

    This is weird becuase when people criticize actions on the show, the general RealitySteve group think is don’t criticize them becuase the show is edits, scripted, etc.

    So… can one criticize actions or not? Again, given the group think in here, the answer is not so much.

    > We don’t know the rules about dating someone pre-show who appears
    > on the first night because, as far as I know, it’s never happened

    It may not be “dating” per se but didn’t Nick have prior contact (hookup at a wedding) with one of his contestants? She even mentioned it ITM on first night in the mansion if I recall correctly.

    > and I’m always struck by how inferior In-N-Out seems to be compared
    > to Five Guys. Is there something I’m missing?

    The In-N-Out by LAX is horrible. But otherwise, In-N-Out kicks 5 Guy’s ass… and twice on Sunday. I’m from Michigan so I have no civic pride in this discussion.

  4. jlal

    July 18, 2018 at 11:36 AM

    It is crazy how vile those people are on social media; that is one reason why I don’t participate.

    What I can’t believe is that anyone actually thought Becca was serious about Colton for even a minute. It is well known the majority of the leads “pick or know” who they want from the beginning. At least from a woman’s perspective, you know who you have chemistry with and who you don’t. There may be others you find attractive or have fun with, but you know who the main man is going to be. I think the entire Colton, Tia, Becca thing was totally manufactured for drama. Once the show realized Becca didn’t have anything going for Colton, they wanted to prime him for a potential bachelor gig. He is good looking, has the sports thing, and the virgin storyline going. So, they pulled in Tia to the spa to create doubt and drama. Plus, if more than one woman wants him it ups his capital. Then they bring Tia back for the she still cares drama. Also, Becca saying Tia had nothing to do with her decision is right, because she wasn’t interested in him to begin with.

    After last week I’d really like to see Blake as the next bachelor, with Jason next. Colton is too vanilla.

    As for In and Out or Five Guys, never been to either one. However, my best friend swears by Five Guys.

  5. adelina

    July 18, 2018 at 6:24 PM

    @jlal – I’m with you on the order of next Bach — although I think Jason is pretty darn sexy and a bit more manly than Blake.

  6. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 3:37 AM

    adelina – I agree that Jason is sexy. He is not conventionally good looking, but there is something about him that is so sexy. Not sure if I agree on him being more manly, but will call it a draw between them!

  7. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 6:47 AM

    I agree with both of you that Jason is sexy and would LOVE to see him as the next Bachelor! I really like Blake but not sure he’s cut out for the lead…after seeing him in his hometown date I felt he was very emotional and uber sensitive. And I am so NOT looking forward to seeing his reaction when Becca turns doesn’t choose him in the end. It will NOT be pretty! My heart already breaks for him. And besides being sexy, Jason has such a great personality…think he’d make a better/more fun Bachelor! But I’d be happy with either of them…both good eye candy 🙂

  8. rob22

    July 19, 2018 at 7:32 AM

    I think they have some guys to choose from for The Bachelor, but I’m still going with Ben 2.0!! Hahaha, I know you all hate that idea.

  9. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 7:45 AM

    With regard to the next Bachelor, I fancy neither Jason or Ben, I’ll watch whoever they pick! Lol 🙂

  10. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    PLEASE, NO Ben 2.0!! I cannot take another snooze fest…nice guy but SO boring. And nowhere near as sexy as Jason or Blake!

  11. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:03 AM

    Please, please no Ben 2.0 – agree ctrealitygirl that he is boring.
    Interesting nobody thinks Colton would make a good one. I don’t either, just find that interesting because I think the show was priming him to be the next.They may back off though if the fans want someone else.
    Right now I’m on team Blake. There is something about him that reminds me of Scott Eastwood. Not quiet the pretty boy Eastwood is, but still hot as heck.

  12. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 10:04 AM

    quite, not quiet. Wish you could edit your posts on this site.

  13. ctrealitygirl

    July 19, 2018 at 11:51 AM

    From this last episode, it kind of feels like they’re setting Blake up with a good back story…heart crushed, etc. Which they often do when they’re promoting someone as the lead 🙂 …hope I’m right!

  14. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:22 PM

    I think Blake would be a good choice! 😉

  15. tinyred500

    July 19, 2018 at 3:25 PM

    For looks only, I prefer Colton. I don’t think he’d make a great Bachelor though, he seems too immature to me.

  16. jlal

    July 19, 2018 at 4:45 PM

    I think Blake is the best looking guy on the show. Agree Colton is too immature. Normally I like the all American look, but he misses the mark for me.

  17. mariet

    July 19, 2018 at 7:38 PM

    Joe the Grocer will not find love on BIP. He already has a fan base. He (hopefully) will be the the next Bachelor. He’s adorable. Ben 2.0. Yuck. No way.

  18. jlal

    July 20, 2018 at 3:46 AM

    Joe was cute, I could get behind him as bachelor. However, unless he gets really popular on BIP the show probably won’t think he has a big enough following. Actually, the more I think about it the more I like Joe for the bachelor. It will be interesting to learn his personality on BIP.

  19. adelina

    July 20, 2018 at 3:57 PM

    Yes yes yes!!!! Joe the Grocer from Chicago (my city) would be perfect. He is a good midwestern boy and would be perfect.

    I’ll also take Jason – his look is normally not my style, but the boy is sexy. Plus he’s got the gay bro whom he adores, which is hot.

    Blake – just too howdy doody for me. Nice guy, but too frat boy. His style throws me….like dude, no. Just no.

    Colton – um…no….he’s a child. An inexperienced child at that.

    Ben 2.0 – God no please. Too vanilla. Too shiny. Just no.

  20. ctrealitygirl

    July 23, 2018 at 9:29 AM

    I’m with you Adelina! I’m voting for Jason to be the next Bachelor! And I’m with you about NO Ben.2. Funny…last week they aired a new Lipsync Battle episode with Ben Higgins paired against Rachel Lindsay and Ben really let his hair down…quite a different Ben from when he was Bachelor. Couldn’t help but wonder, if ABC was behind him getting that gig to start changing his image and groom him for the lead…something to ponder on1

  21. upmyalley

    July 24, 2018 at 11:53 AM

    Ben 2.0 NO! No! No! No no!

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