Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Colton, & Tricky Editing on the BIP Reunion Show

Photo Credit: ABC

Hi Steve!!

I really enjoy your work and your spoilers, I think mostly because your sarcasm and wit permeating the facts make it much more entertaining, so thank you for all that you do!!

My question is regarding this post made by Blake, because subtly he seems to be suggesting the people who cast the Bachelor want them to “change” themselves to fit a specific mold, and he wasn’t willing to do that? So does that mean Colton was?? It doesn’t seem to me that Blake was as “thirsty” for it as Jason was. And Jason did SO much campaigning it actually was offputtung. I guess Colton is just vanilla enough for them to manipulate and has the most stereotypically attractive appeal.

Also, I guess then it’s no secret that the three of these guys were in the running from ABC as well, but clearly they went with Colton based on social media following and values, as you said. I think once they bring it back to his “All-American” values and his charity, people will be swooning over him (puke). He just doesn’t do it for me at all, especially as a lead. Let’s see how the Ken doll plays out in a house full of inevitable Barbies.

Comment: It’s weird because I didn’t read that post in the same way you did. I didn’t read it as Blake throwing shade at the show saying they wanted him to compromise who he was or whatever. I thought he was just saying even if he was the Bachelor he’s still the same guy, and now that he’s not, that doesn’t change him either. Does that make sense? I don’t know. I guess Blake is truly the only one that knows. But considering he spent the weekend with Kristina on his arm, my guess is he’s doing just fine.

Do we know how many days Colton and Tia actually dated in Paradise (how long he was “all in”)? Just curious… Maybe a week or 10 days?

I feel like the whole thing was fabricated for Paradise and he never actually wanted to be with her. Is it possible producers knew this but persuaded him to go anyway and told him if it didn’t work then he could be The Bachelor? I’d be lying if I said there’s no way that was even a possibility. Of course it was. Colton wanted to be the “Bachelor” from the second he signed up for Becca’s season. Whether producers were telling him down in Mexico, “Hey, break up with her and it’ll obviously look better for your Bachelor chances,” only they know. But it’d just be ignorant to think that Colton wasn’t aware that he was in the running and that to be the Bachelor, he kinda needed to be single.

I feel for Tia. I’m sure they told her that “if he comes, it means he wants you…” which clearly wasn’t the case. It will sure be interesting to see if he can be decisive next season. I guess if none of Colton’s women are very compelling they can persuade Tia to be the next Bachelorette. They sure seem to love a good redemption story, and she has the Raven & Adam connection.

Comment: I mean, the “Bachelorette” is so far away, it’s not even on my radar. Or theirs probably. We have at least 25 new girls that will be the next batch of fresh meat for the male alumni to start DM sliding into, and a new batch of fan favorites that by next March rolling around, Colton’s top 4 will be the people are talking about for “Bachelorette,” not Tia.

Hi Steve,

I’m wondering now that Blake and Jason weren’t picked to be The Bachelor, do you think that Blake and Jason will be asked to be on Bachelor in Paradise next summer?

Comment: I would be stunned if both of them weren’t on Paradise next season. I fully expect to see them there. These guys both look like they aren’t leaving Bachelor Nation anytime soon. They seem to enjoy it. The only way they aren’t is if they have a serious girlfriend come next June.

I know you are going to have a million emails/complaints about Colton being the Bachelor. My question is, do you know if something happened with Blake and Jason (i.e. like what happened with Peter) so they chose Colton as a default, or does ABC really think that Colton is their guy, and picked him over Jason and Blake? They chose Colton over Blake and Jason. Blake and Jason weren’t offered.

Do you remember another time that there was such an overwhelming negative response to a lead? I know that Arie didn’t get a lot of positive response, but that seemed to stem from the selection coming out of nowhere, and a lot of new viewers not knowing who he was. I mean, negative is negative. If I could’ve saved every message, text, and email from last September 7th, I’m telling you, it was just as bad, if not worse, than the Colton response.

I’ve never said “I’m not going to watch next season because I don’t like the lead” but I am saying it this time. In this day and age, our viewership (or, our advertising dollars) is a way that people forget they have a voice. You can complain all day on social media, but as long as the money is rolling in, the powers that be do not care. I’ll definitely still be reading your column weekly, as that is pretty much the only reason I’ve still be watching the show up until this point. I’ll have gained some space back on my DVR, but won’t really miss out on what is happening. Keep up the good work, love your podcasts!

Comment: And money will keep rolling in because if someone is so passionate to say on social media how much they hate this choice and they aren’t watching, they are definitely passionate enough to hate watch it. It’s that simple.

This is my first time emailing you, but I have read your site for years. I think since Ashley’s season of Bachelorette. There might not be much to respond to in this email, I just wanted to let you know I follow your site and twitter and FB account avidly.

Anyways, I love you and our sense of humor is very much the same so I always appreciate your view (and sarcasm).

I have a very similar reaction to the show and am not blind to the fact that it’s mostly doomed to fail, even though I got engaged after a month to the man I’m married to now (and yes, that’s too fast to get to know someone, even being away from the public eye). Two kids later and we are still married four years later. But I digress.

For one, I have to say that I’m extremely excited to see Joe on DWTS. He is so sweet and sincere. I think that’s why he’s made it so far for only being a night one elimination. Plus his accent doesn’t hurt, just saying. I can’t wait to see who he is partnered with.

Secondly, while I would rather have Blake or Jason as Bachelor, Colton really isn’t the worst they could do. I mean, I’m kinda sick of him, but at the same time I’m rooting for him. Plus, I’m 25, so I like seeing someone my age and that makes the show slightly more relatable for me. I’m looking forward to your spoilers and your insight!

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: I think this is a much more normal reaction to someone who doesn’t particularly like Colton but is a fan of the show. I can’t wait until Jan 8th next year (assuming the “Bachelor” begins on the first Monday of January like it always does which is the 7th next year), just to see how the ratings barely change for Colton’s season. Then I can point back to all those who told me they weren’t watching, and my answer remains the same: no one cares you’re not watching, because millions of others are.

I listened to ben and Ashley’s podcast right after paradise aired because I wanted to see how she would damage control this. She said basically what she’s said before and acknowledged it wasn’t awesome seeing her engagement lead right into her ex criticizing her. (Agree, it was awkward).

The reason I’m writing is because there was an interesting moment during the podcast. They had Des and Chris on and Ben asked what the secret was to their success. And Chris totally nonchalantly was like, “oh we didn’t try to be famous or do anything big after, we went back to our regular lives and our old jobs.” The irony of saying that to BEN and ASHLEY on the ALMOST FAMOUS podcast is not lost on me. I couldn’t help but wish I could see facial reactions because it wasn’t clear with just audio how it landed. Maybe none of them got it but if ben is at all self aware he had to have made the connection (esp given what Lauren hinted at during your interview) re why his relationship didn’t work. And then Ashley with Kevin and even how she has embraced her relationship with Jared being presented for public consumption. (I think they will last by the way because they have years of history but it’s just common knowledge that putting your relationships in the spotlight and trying to play the fame game takes a toll). Anyhow I thought that was interesting and I dont even think Chris meant to diss anyone. He was just being honest.

Comment: He was honest but also accurate. The couples that stay away from most media stuff and don’t hop on every TV show thrown their way tend to do better, with Sean and Catherine being the exception. Not to mention the “Bachelorette” just has a much higher success rate to at least produce a long lasting couple because I do think the women take the show more seriously.

Hey Steve!

So i’ve always been curious that when a couple breaks up from the franchise why they don’t delete their pictures together of them off their IG? Are they not allowed too? I know it may not be that deep but if I broke up with someone i sure wouldn’t want pictures of us together on my instagram.

Comment: Ashley and I talked about this in one of our podcasts, and basically, it’s just a matter of preference. I don’t necessarily understand leaving pictures up on IG of an ex (unless it was a really long term one), but Ashley differs. To each their own. There’s no right or wrong answer to it. I don’t happen to agree with it, but that’s just my opinion.

Hey Steve!

1) Do you know if Rachel is well-liked within the Bachelor family? And is her relationship with Vanessa Grimaldi still terrible? I don’t think she’s disliked. She definitely has her squad that still loves her. I just don’t think she has any relationship with Vanessa.

2) Do you know why Lauren B and ber boyfriend broke up? Also, do you know how this is affecting their wine business? If it’s having any effect at all? Don’t know either of those.

3) I think the reason why everyone is so up in arms with Colton is also because it’ll be like 6 months of him on our TV screens. And everyone knows he’s not ready to get married based on his behaviour on Paradise. Perfectly logical reasoning. I don’t believe he is either. I guess I just don’t let it bother me because I know it’s a TV show and just don’t care enough to piss and moan about it.

4) I know that Ashley and Jared got engaged on Paradise in front of Kevin for dramatic purposes but did they not realize how tacky it would look on their part? That said, I believe Kevin’s ego is hurt by the whole thing but I don’t think he’s actually heartbroken over her. The whole thing and the way it was presented is questionable on so many levels.

5) I’m glad you’re having Taylor Nolan on your podcast. I think she’s grown on a lot of people (including myself tbh). She certainly grew on me. Couldn’t have been more impressed.

6) Luke Pell must be devastated he wasn’t named the Bachelor…again Haha.

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: I’m sure he was holding out and boy, his new girlfriend Amanda clearly has no idea what she’s getting into. I can only imagine how long it is before Amanda reaches out to Holly with an email that starts with, “Hey, so I should’ve known…”


I just read today’s post about Colton as the Bachelor. How did the network take so much shit on casting questionable guys on Becca’s season. Lincoln didn’t even show on the MTA and Chris H never even addressed it or it didn’t air to the public. Not sure if Leo’s sins get brought up on the reunion show. Becca answered few questions on interviews about it. I’m not seeing how the network took backlash / shit on this. The show still gets ratings. Did you not read all the negative publicity they got. Yeah, people still watched her season, but when major news outlets are all running with negative stories regarding your contestants, that’s not necessarily great for business. They got raked over the coals this season for their casting.

Also – why does Colton have more followers than Blake and Jason. Women generally don’t like men that won’t commit – that doesn’t make any sense to me.

Comment: I don’t know how in the world I’m supposed to answer that question. Why does someone have more followers than someone else? Uhhhhh, because they do?

1. If you told me Jef Holm or Luke Pell were going to be the next bachelor, I’d be annoyed and would not tune in. BUT what you see is what you get with them, kind of. Luke, it’s obvious he wants the followers and the fame and everything, you know? I think a lot of people’s problem’s with Colton, at least from the people I’ve talked to and have seen online, is that he obviously is in it for fame too (IE asking Aly Raisman out publicly, DM’ing Tia, only to dump Tia when she wasn’t the bachelorette and then getting back with her only to dump her again to be in the running for the bachelor) but people get distracted by the charity and the kids and the virgin thing and it’s discreet enough to make you not like the guy because it just seems sneaky and calculated. Does that make sense? I don’t know- I just think he’s disingenuous and I couldn’t have agreed more with Raven’s take on it. I don’t disagree either. Like I said, all the reasons people have for not liking him are justified. I just don’t get what bitching and complaining about it does. He’s the “Bachelor.” Nothing is changing that. He isn’t the first “Bachelor” to do it for fame and notoriety and he won’t be the last. So I don’t fully understand what makes him any worse than those before him.

2. Kamil posted a picture and captioned it, “three amigos” with Jordan. Wasn’t paradise before the MTA taping? And weren’t they fighting on stage? I didn’t think much of it at the time since Kamil was barely on Becca’s season, but now I’m wondering if that was even real? The back and forth about modeling and stuff. I know they probably get over it, but how manufactured are these reunions? Very.

3. How is the new dog? I know beagles can be high energy so wondering how you’re handling it! It’s going great. She’s definitely high energy, much more so than Maddie, so it’s taken a little getting used to. But she’s been a blast. Today will be an interesting day because I’m leaving her for the next 4 days. Won’t be back til Monday. She’s in the doggy resort til Saturday, then gonna stay at my sister’s until I come home on Monday. I have no idea how she’s gonna react in a new environment.

And lastly,

4. Why are they trying to sell Grocery Joe so hard? Why him over Becca, the actual bachelorette, for dancing with the stars? I know they don’t ever cast lead bachelorettes for whatever reason, but I’ve been watching paradise, granted, I’ve only been watching like 3/4 of the episodes but I just don’t understand. Is he saying much, is he funny? I didn’t even think he was on much of the episodes. It’s all weird to me.

Comment: It’s a pretty amazing “rags to riches” story. Unheard of in this franchise. The only people to ever make DWTS from this franchise were leads. And all male leads except Trista, but that was season 1 so it doesn’t count. And Melissa was a last minute injury replacement. So it’s kind of a head scratcher, but the dude has capitalized on it. I’m sure Kaitlyn is thrilled.

Send all links and emails to: To follow me on Twitter, it’s: Instagram name is “RealitySteve,” join my Reality Steve Facebook Fan Page, or listen to all my podcasts at Apple Podcasts. Talk to you tomorrow.

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  1. anita29

    September 5, 2018 at 9:10 AM

    This morning I listened to Ashley and Ben’s podcast and they talked to Ashley and Jared via telephone. Jason explained that before proposing, he told producers he didn’t want Kevin present at the proposal, but ABC told him no. He wasn’t very happy about that. He also didn’t like that soon after the proposal, they showed Kevin and Astrid’s conversation. At the end, I felt that they were not happy with ABC in the way they showed the proposal. Ashley is always very careful in not criticizing ABC, so I guess that’s why Jason did most of the talking.

  2. rob22

    September 5, 2018 at 9:33 AM

    A couple of emails caught my eye (I must be bored to have read them this week). The one that was unsubscribing RS and everyone else around the franchise because (among other things) of politics talk… huh? I think RS is one of the least political people that’s out there today. I don’t recall any politics being discussed. That’s one of the things that makes this site enjoyable. Maybe I’m missing something.

    The other was the emailer talking about the potential that the Colton & Tia thing was producer staged to get Colton in position to be the Bachelor. That includes the idea that Colton (via the Bibiana pep talk) “decided” to try it with Tia. Then (since he couldn’t very well be dating Tia when they made the announcement), had them do an emotional breakup. Absolutely I believe this is what happened. That whole thing was massively produced to give Colton both more exposure and some plausability and story line for the Bachelor. Personally, I think they botched the second part of that, but what do I know. I totally agree that this is what happened. Colton’s body language and demeanor never once screamed, “hey, I’m really into Tia”. Colton friend zoned her before the show even started. I’m a little bummed for Tia that she was used in that way. Par for the course, I guess.

  3. tinyred500

    September 5, 2018 at 10:19 AM

    RS take on Robert Mills, I’ve always thought he was rather disingenuous at times. It’s clear he puts out the franchises ‘narrative’ he/they want us to think or believe, and that’s not the pearly white truth.

    The whole Colton and Tia thing was a produced and manufactured piece by the franchise, it’s was more than obvious, rather too obvious in fact. It was shoved in our faces till it got totally silly.

    To the emailer who wants to see some of the old bachelor/bachelorette seasons. ABC did have many previous seasons which you could view (for free) in run up to Arie’s season on their website (I’m guessing they aren’t there anymore?). I only know because I tried to view them, sadly being outside of America I couldn’t view, not even with a VPN. iTunes sell seasons from Jason M to Ben H’s season. Ali F to JoJo’s season and they are not hugely expensive either. Amazon sell some older seasons too, but not many. I wish you could purchase the entire bachelor/bachelorette set, I’d love to compare and see how the series’s have changed over the years.

    I’m going to listen to what Chris and Des had to say on Ashley’s etc podcast, I’ve never heard Chris talk outside of the franchise yet. 😀

  4. justa_viewer

    September 5, 2018 at 3:03 PM

    Well, if Jared was so naive as to think he and Ashley could go to the location where Kevin was and get engaged without the franchise showing any reaction from Kevin, well, that’s on Jared.

    Apparently, Jared was not concerned enough to change his mind and get engaged in private.

    As for Colton, I expect I’ll read the recaps and watch the finale. I’ve done that before. I personally have no interest in watching a 26-year-old male allegedly “look for love,” especially when I believe he’s really just looking for fame. In my experience–yours may vary–most 26-year-old men are focused on growing their careers and having casual or semi-casual relationships. But seriously looking for “the one”? Someone to trot off into the sunset with? Not so much.

  5. tamara

    September 5, 2018 at 3:55 PM

    For the first time, I won’t be watching this season either. Too much manufactured drama and no hope of Colton actually being ready for a relationship. May cancel my hulu subscription and save some money. I’ll still read Reality Steve, though!

  6. elizabeth82

    September 5, 2018 at 5:01 PM

    @rob22, I hardly ever read many of the reader e-mails but I did this time too, ha. Anyway, re. the reader boycotting because of politics, I think h/she was referring to RS’s podcast with Ashley Spivey and not listening because of political views she’s expressed on social media. Some people are super-sensitive about that stuff.

  7. realitynyc12

    September 5, 2018 at 6:08 PM

    I am a bit disappointed that there was not even the tiniest of recaps of yesterday’s BIP, everything has been completely monopolized by views on Colton, which I’m sorry, but how many times can everyone keep going around in circles about it. I was actually looking forward to getting RS s humorous take on the insanity that was last night’s episode. I mean, They’ve gone off the deep end with some of their contrived drama before but yesterday’s episode takes the cake. Wtf was that. From Fatal Attraction love triangle with Shu/Kamil/Annaliese, to the ” Russian witch hunt”, this was truly beyond ridiculous. And just as I started to feel bad for Shu for being a part of that mess and getting skewered mercilessly, there she goes burning Kamils picture at a bonfire, with a smirk on her face. She legit couldn’t even keep a straight face herself at that nonsense by that point. The things these contestants do to stay relevant, mind boggling. Maybe Shu and Annaliese can star together in some low budget piece of crap and finally get their SAG cards, since that’s clearly what they’re after, it’s so transparent.
    Looking forward to this trainwreck to end next week.

  8. tinyred500

    September 6, 2018 at 12:47 AM

    I took the boycott in relation to Steve and Ashley’s podcast too and some contestants are political. The franchise is seen as a lighthearted topic, not so when RS and the like wade in and start lecturing viewers and listeners over what they should think. So I don’t think it means some peeps are super sensitive, they just don’t want to hear/read another persons political/social views when listening to a podcast (or via Twitter) about relationships, the bachelor franchise etc.

  9. GoingBlonde

    September 6, 2018 at 5:05 AM

    @anita29, who the hell is Jason that you are talking about?

  10. GoingBlonde

    September 6, 2018 at 5:06 AM

    Annaliese couldn’t be anymore desperate if she tried. She’s pathetic.

  11. tinyred500

    September 6, 2018 at 6:20 AM

    Methinks Jason is a typo, instead of Jared. 😉

  12. realitynyc12

    September 6, 2018 at 7:36 AM

    Shes playing a role, 100%. Girl has acting aspirations big time. And after last episode, starting to think these people wont stop at anything, doesn’t matter how pathetic it makes them look. Do you think Shushanna came off looking great? If anything, she looked 100% worse than Annaliese, producers must have told her she was auditioning for the remake of Fatal Attraction. All that was missing is an actual script in theory hands. Such an outrageous storyline, witches and spells , whoever came up with that needs to be fired, truly.

  13. GoingBlonde

    September 6, 2018 at 10:15 AM

    Possibly Annaliese is acting, but no I really think she’s 30 and sooooo desperate to get engaged on this dumb ass show. Just like Carly was sooo desperate to settle for a guy she couldn’t stand and actually ended up marrying him because she was rejected by everyone else.

  14. elizabeth82

    September 6, 2018 at 11:34 AM

    Just a clarification re people being super-sensitive about politics: I didn’t mean if RS and Ashley actually bring it up on podcast, I just mean if person is boycotting their podcast because of stuff Ashley puts on social media (I think person mentioned what Ashley said re Supreme Court pick) but doesn’t bring into podcast. I agree that that stuff should stay off Bachelor commentary, but I wouldn’t not listen to someone talk about the Bachelor because of political views they’ve expressed elsewhere.

  15. tinyred500

    September 6, 2018 at 11:50 AM

    I agree on that. I have friends and family who have different political views, I don’t ignore them because we differ on that score, and I’d treat others similarly. 😀

  16. janela

    September 6, 2018 at 1:08 PM

    “Well, if Jared was so naive as to think he and Ashley could go to the location where Kevin was and get engaged without the franchise showing any reaction from Kevin, well, that’s on Jared.

    Apparently, Jared was not concerned enough to change his mind and get engaged in private.”

    Justa_Viewer I completely agree but am pretty sure that they did it for the ring which is worth somewhere between $50-100K. And also they are both milking this franchise for all it’s worth. Aside from Ashley doing Winter Games Jared was on BIP in I think Australia five minutes before he officially committed to dating Ashley.

  17. tinyred500

    September 6, 2018 at 2:16 PM

    Totally agree with you and Justa-Viewer! 😀

  18. screenname

    September 7, 2018 at 1:35 AM

    I agree with the emailer about what Blake posted about not being willing to change who he was in order to become the bachelor, as in they wanted him to probably do things/say things to get the gig. It’s obvious that Colton would jump through any hoop to become the bachelor and that he “won” the job because he did just that in paradise. This is probably going to be the most ridiculously produced and predictable season yet because Colton will do anything the producers want him to do (which is why I think they picked him). I don’t see any similarities between Colton and Sean Lowe aside form the virgin thing. and even with that, Sean did it for religious reasons (I believe) whereas Colton doesn’t (and will likely lose his virginity on the show because he’ll do whatever the producers want). The only thing that might be interesting is if Colton decides to not propose at the end (because he’s obviously not ready for marriage).

    For the reply regarding people complaining about Colton and not “getting why people are bitching and complaining”– since when is it wrong to express your opinion on something, whether or not you think it will change anything?? I mean, that is an eye roll-inducing statement coming from someone with his own website dedicated to his own opinion/bitching/Tia obsession.

    Also, what in the hell did Ashley Iaconetti do to you?? the shade.

  19. GoingBlonde

    September 7, 2018 at 6:42 AM

    It doesn’t matter that Spiteful Spivey doesn’t talk politics in the podcast. She’s a disgusting and ugly excuse for human being. She’s absolutely horrible and hateful. No one should give her the time of day and it’s disgusting that Steve has allowed her to influence him so much that he himself has become a social justice warrior. He’s gotten so caught up in kissing the asses of these contestants, it’s pathetic.

  20. adelina

    September 7, 2018 at 10:09 AM

    Awwww @GoingBlonde, I totally disagree with you regarding Carly “settling” for Evan. I think they’re a great couple and genuinely in love.

    Also, describing someone (Spivey) as a “disgusting and ugly excuse for human being” is a little heavy, no?

  21. alynn89

    September 8, 2018 at 11:28 PM

    I have to agree. I love reality steves site and podcasts, but I can not stand Ashley Spivey.

  22. jlal

    September 10, 2018 at 4:51 AM

    I agree with everyone that Colton is way too young and green to be the next bachelor. I was on vacation, out of the country, and out of touch so found out when I returned. Very disappointed. It will be like watching a little boy try to play grown up. Maybe they’re trying to appeal to the younger audience members after having Arie on. I hope all the women are like 22 or 23, because otherwise Colton will seem like a kid (frankly he is a kid), experience and maturity wise.

    From the posts on here, I’m happy I missed the last couple of weeks of BIP. Sounds like they jumped the shark with witches and spells, WTF?

  23. lexq

    September 11, 2018 at 7:09 AM

    I couldn’t AGREE with you more about Carly & Evan!!! I always thought about it!! How can you not like someone that much and so awkward to all of a sudden being in love. Pathetic!!

  24. lexq

    September 11, 2018 at 7:10 AM

    It’s like someone FINALLY said it!!!! ????????

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