Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, & “Temptation Island” Talk & Clip From Next Week’s Episode

Photo Credit: ABC

Hey Steve, hope you are having a good day!

I was just going through your episode-by-episode spoilers and it caught my attention how Cassie doesn’t really seem like a runner-up at any point. Her 1 on 1 wasn’t until much later and she never got a group date rose. It just surprises me that he would make such big decision as is ending the show to pursue her, when based on his actions it looks like he is more invested in other relationships.

Do you have any idea if producers were too surprised by this, or was it already known that he might be leaning towards choosing her?

Thank you, Steve!

Comment: She was the one who I was told around the middle of the season he was probably going to pick. So in that aspect, I wasn’t surprised she’s the one in the end. But how they get to that point, yeah, I don’t think anyone could have predicted that. Although with Colton selling out to this show to get the lead, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Hi Steve, I’m writing about those fake butterflies that Cassie brought to Colton for her limo exit/entrance. As she was heading inside the mansion, he picked up one of the butterflies and put it in his pocket. I am wondering if he really picked it up right then, or if maybe instead it was filmed at a later date and edited in, when she ended up being the final rose-getter. (I’m thinking the latter.) Your thoughts?

Comment: So you mean after the season was done filming, they went back to the mansion and had all lighting, camera people, Colton, Chris, and the production team come back so they could get a :02 shot? No, that didn’t happen. He picked it up then.

Hi Steve,

I have to ask. Do you know something we don’t know in terms of what Kaitlyn and Jason are doing? I feel like there’s an ulterior agenda behind their publicized romance / date.

Dean mentioned that most of these relationships are fake and are contrived for monetary gain. Do you know if that’s what’s happening here? I like kaitlyn but it almost doesn’t make sense why they’re giving us a play by play of their romance. Or did social media shift and this is the thing nowadays?

Comment: Kaitlyn and Jason’s date got a lot of attention this past weekend bc they posted every 5 seconds about it on social media. The only thing I know is that definitely wasn’t their first date. They had definitely seen each other before this past weekend in Denver, and not just when he was on her podcast. It’s different strokes for different folks. I can’t tell you why they want to flaunt it to everyone. Some people love it, some people hate it. Just like anything in this franchise. If they’re happy, they’re happy. To me, I don’t care what happens to them. I like Kaitlyn. Always have. Jason seems fine. I just don’t invest myself into what these people are doing post-show every time they post something on their IG.

Hey Steve,

I continue to be a huge fan and read your website, listen to all of your podcasts, and enjoy the twitter commentary, and have been since Ben the wine guy’s season. I enjoy your content throughout all seasons, and even off-season. Thanks for the entertainment!

Anyway, my question is: It seems that they make a big deal about Colton playing football and there have been several other “professional” athletes, or supposedly so, throughout many seasons (like Josh Murray, another football player, etc.) Out of all of them, who actually was or came closest to being a bonafide professional athlete?

Comment: Geez, I’m not sure. Chris Siegfried played minor league baseball, so, he was a pro, just on a smaller level. If we’re just sticking with leads, then I guess Sean Lowe because he played college football at the D-1 level? Although not a lot, but he did play at least a little.

Hi Steve!

Lots of questions I’m sure coming through with the Kaitlyn and Jason weekend!

I actually found an article about Ben Higgins talking about Lauren B dating Chris Lane. He said he’s dated two girls since. We know about that one but do you know the other?

Comment: All I know that the girl he’s dating now (which he claims he will reveal sooner rather than later) is no one famous, not part of Bachelor Nation, and lives in Nashville. Just some random that he met, but I don’t know how. I think through social media but not 100% sure.

Hi Steve,

I have a question and some comments too:

1) The Bachelor contestants who do those ads on social media, do they get paid more money if people buy it because they posted about it? I notice how they usually say something like, “when you buy, make sure you use this code (the code usually have their name in it), and you will get 20% off your purchase”. Usually ones that have a code, they’re making a commission along with a base for doing the post.

2) Josh Murray is the biggest dick I think Bachelor nation has ever seen. What he did to Andi on the first episode of Colton’s season was horrible. If he thinks she the devil, then he is entitled to his opinion, but to call her one on social media is low. He is just showing what he really is, an emotionally and verbally abusive person. I know he is denying Andi’s claims in her book, but he showed to us what he really is. And when someone shows you who they are, believe them. It was dumb. And Josh has said a lot over the years, including directly to me, that he stays above all that drama. I don’t know how he thought for a millisecond that posting that IG pic wouldn’t draw attention. Just stupid.

3) I think Rachel is out of touch for saying that ABC owes her a wedding. I understand she feels that her love story with Bryan wasn’t shown and they showed it more as she picked Bryan as the 2nd choice. I do agree with her on that. However, if it wasn’t for the show she wouldn’t have met Bryan and wouldn’t have the sports career she has now. Also, she doesn’t have as many followers as other people who were on the show. Even ones who were just contestants have more than she does on Instagram, and she was the lead. I just think she is coming off as entitled and she shouldn’t be slapping the hand that fed her.

Comment: When she said that in her finale column for Becca’s season, it made zero sense to me. It still does. No, they owe her nothing. And telling them that they do makes me think if there was a chance of her getting one, that would kinda kill it.

Hey Steve,

Not really a frequent writer but I had to write something after the Paulie podcast. Just wanted to say you handled that really well. As a listener, it was frustrating to listen to him apologize but not really apologize. He kept trying to deflect the blame onto someone else and would follow every single apology with a “but”. Just listening to that was jarring. At certain points, it looked like he was blaming Danielle for being invested in him which led him to feeling justified in his actions. His whole thing about the Instagram Live and blaming that on the publicist and then trying to say that Danielle knew about the extent of his relationship with Cara was just aggravating to hear. I really appreciated how you called him out on his mistreatment of Danielle. I just don’t think he gets it. Anyway, rant over! Great podcast overall and here’s to hoping he stops acting like a douche! I agree. He just wouldn’t come clean 100% about everything. Like, how many times did he say, “I f***ed up” during the podcast, 50? Yet after listening to it, do you feel was sincere when he said it? I found it hard to believe because of everything he said afterwards.

Also, I was wondering about Jason and Kaitlyn. Would you have any idea on how serious this whole thing is? I saw they were in Denver over the weekend but I’m not sure if this is for publicity considering the fact that they’re really trying to sell it. Curious to know! Again, all I know is this past weekend definitely wasn’t their first time together. It’s just the first time they decided to be public with it. With these relationships, you just never know. Could be serious, could be just for fun. They’re obviously interested in each other, but it’s long distance, and until somebody moves, I just consider it two people dating and nothing more.

Final question, I promise! Who would you say is the most successful contestant (not lead) to come out of the bachelor franchise? I would have to say Ashley I or even Grocery Store Joe but I’m curious to know your opinion. The rise of Grocery Store Joe is a fascinating evolution for me. This guy has somehow ended up on DWTS Live Tour and it’s mind boggling how far he’s come in a span of a year. Good for him but still baffling.

Thanks for what you do!

Comment: A lot of contestants to go through in my head, but for non-leads, yeah, he’d be up there. As would Ashley I. BTW, when she married Jared, does she now become Ashley H.? Also, don’t forget Melissa Rycroft. She’s done really well for herself. I’m sure there are others I’m missing, but those are definitely ones that come to mind.

Hi Steve

Just wanted to email you about the podcast you did with Paulie. I have to give you credit for being able to get through that one and maintain composure as he spewed his bullsh*t to you. This is the only podcast you have ever done that I had a hard time getting through. (for many reasons) I am glad you did it though, and that you didn’t let him get off easy. I truly don’t know what Danielle sees in him or saw in him, but I don’t want to judge. You and many others.

Anyways, just wanted to give you credit for allowing him to come on your podcast and listening to him

Great job

P.S. All your tweeting about Beverly Hills 90210 made me order the whole series and watch it from the beginning!!! I have been binge watching for the last 2 weeks!!!

Comment: Ahhhh yes, I’ve converted someone. So are you saying you’d never seen it before? Or you’re just re-watching?

Here’s where I’m at with my binge watching. You would’ve heard me tell this to Tara and Sarah from the “Again With This” podcast, but stupid me deleted it. So I saw 4 episodes of Season 5 on Pop TV one day, which was sophomore year of college. The Ray Pruit with one “T” years. Pop airs 4 episodes every Friday. Well, once I watched those, I was suckered in again and wasn’t waiting a week to watch 4 more episodes when I have the first 7 seasons on DVD. So I popped in the rest of season 5 and watched it. Then I watched season 4 (freshman year of college), then 5 & 6 (junior & senior year). Now, I’ve started back at the beginning and I’m almost done with season 1. I’m sorry, but the college years blow HS years away and it’s not even close. I know plenty of you disagree, but watching these HS episodes back again is almost painful. Just not nearly as good of show. And basically, Valerie Malone destroys Brenda Walsh in every way, hence the college years. We had a nice discussion about it on the deleted podcast because Tara and Sarah are bigger HS fans than the college years. Hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, no matter how wrong it is.

Isnt it a bit odd that Kaitlyn has already moved onto another public romance after announcing the end of her 3 year engagement just a couple months ago? Maybe its just me.. but I wouldnt be able to move on that fast… unless her and Shawn were on the outs long before we all found out.. then it would make sense. To each their own I guess.

Comment: Everybody’s different. People have moved on quicker than that. Hey, Chris Pratt got divorced six months ago, he’s got a child, and now he’s already engaged again. Some people just move on differently. It’s not right or wrong, but yeah, I see what you’re saying. I couldn’t do it either.

Hey Steve,

Love your site and podcast! I was wondering if you heard anything from Courtney and her relationship with Arie since he chose Lauren? The last time she was on your podcast she thought she’d be at their wedding and still have a friendship with him.

Thanks for all you do!

Comment: I haven’t spoken to Courtney about Arie per se, we’ve just sent texts here and there. Never asked about him, but she wasn’t at the wedding if that’s any indication of anything.

Do you think that show Cassie did before the bachelor is going to be addressed in any of her interviews or at ATFR?

Comment: Good question. I don’t know. My guess would be no.

I’ve never been a fan of Dean, but the other day, I saw that he said in an interview that he doesn’t want to date anyone in bachelor nation (not sure if I believe that, though) because it’s all fake. They care more about the relationship than the person. And I found myself agreeing with him. That being said, is that what’s happening with Jason and Kaitlyn? Are they making this SO public because they want the attention and validation, is it a big F U to Shawn? OR have they been dating for weeks now and they’re just pretending it’s just starting and they’re already in the phase where sharing pictures of each other is normal? The whole thing is so bizarre to me because it’s so public. Definitely been seeing each longer than this weekend. How real it is, that I don’t know. Dean isn’t far off when he says that, but he said ALL of the relationships were like that, and that’s wrong. Most? Yes. All? No.

Do you know what happened between Jef and Arie? I think I knew they weren’t really friends anyone, but didn’t realize that they didn’t like each other until Arie sent out that tweet about paying up. It’s google-able. I feel that’s been talked about a lot.

Lastly, is ABC really going to air Jared & Ashley’s wedding on Paradise next season? What a freaking buzzkill for the season.

Comment: Are they? Is that’s what is being said? I mean, it wouldn’t surprise me since that’s where they got engaged, but I haven’t heard if it is or isn’t.

Hi Steve,

I’m a long-time fan and reader of the site and new listener of your podcast. I’m usually a huge fan of your interviews and truly appreciate the mix between the conversational and professional tone of your interviews. They are truly enjoyable to listen to.

Around the 27 minute mark (I just paused the most recent episode at 27:58) you agree with Paulie that his treatment of Danielle and Cara should not end up with his receiving a lifetime ban from the Challenge. As a fan of yours, I was disappointed at this moment, as I firmly believe your attitude there was misogynistic. In your previous reader emails, you seem to have pretty thick skin and it’s not my intent to harm you, but I want to explain why I think this attitude is dangerous.

The world today does not treat men and women equally. By validating Paulie’s opinion that he can continue to treat women poorly without fear of losing job opportunities, you’re implicitly agreeing with decades of professional mistreatment of women. The Challenge is a reality show, yes. It has rampant misogynism as displayed by the male players. It’s not a perfect model by which we should base opinions and assumptions. It is also, though. these player’s livelihoods, their method of audience and platform development, etc. There’s a direct correlation between screentime and Instagram followers. This is their job. If football players can get suspensions for tweets, why is it outlandish to suggest that Paulie should get a suspension for his behavior? It’s only outlandish because the people he wronged were women.

Improper action, callous treatment of your fellow humans, these concepts shouldn’t be validated at all levels. They should especially have financial repercussions as psychology studies show that money motivates significant behavioral change. It’s not ok to be an asshole, it’s especially not ok to be an asshole to someone whose life has been harder by virtue of their gender/race/sexuality/etc and you should lose your job over it. Maybe that might invoke some introspection and lasting change.

Thank you for your time and energy. This was a little bit of an essay and I recognize that I might not have changed your mind, but I appreciate you reading the whole thing. This email was a personal thing for me to write and I would hope that you might keep it confidential and not share it in a reader email roundup.

Comment: While I appreciate you taking the time to write that out, I couldn’t disagree with you more. I don’t think it makes me a misogynist because I don’t think Paulie should be banned from the Challenges. That’s reaching. But you can say whatever you want. That’s your opinion. I just think it’s way off base and disagree wholeheartedly. I think my track record in recent years would show that.

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