Reality Steve

Reader Emails

“Reader Emails,” Ratings, “Temptation Island,” and Tomorrow’s Podcast

Photo Credit: ABC

1. In your column, you mentioned you understood about why Colton and Aly Raisman were never intimate. I was confused, was there a link? I didn’t see the story. The story was in what he said last night after Caelynn told him her story.

2. If the show wanted ratings gold for bachelorette, they should do a Hannah B/Caelynn run off, just like Kaitlyn/Britt. Thoughts?
Comment: I don’t see them ever going that route again. Plus, that’s only a one night thing where there’s two “Bachelorettes.” It’s not like it goes all season.
Hey Steve! Sorry if you’ve already addressed this…but do you know what exactly is going down when Colton jumps the fence? Is it as dramatic as they make it seem or is it a stunt?


Comment: I was told it’s from the night of Cassie’s overnight date and it happens once she leaves the show and he’s upset by it.

Hi Reality Steve!

A few questions for you today.

– I know you don’t listen to Ashley and Ben’s podcast, I only do if I’m interested in their guest, as I was when they had Shawn Booth on last week. He confirmed everything you said about Kaitlyn and Jason being together before they went public in January. But what I found interesting was from Kaitlyns view, it seemed as if she wanted to fight for their relationship and be married and stay together, and Shawn didn’t. Shawn basically broke down and they had to pause multiple times for him to pull himself together. Maybe he is now realizing that what he had? It seems to be he’s so upset now because she has moved on. Kaitlyns friend Bri Cook even tweeted the quote “Beware the one who stabs you and then tells the world they’re the one whose bleeding” which was an obvious reference to Shawn going on the podcast. Do you think he’s doing it to get sympathy and get fans off his back? He mentioned he received a lot of hate when he was allegedly on a date with the WEE announcer, which he said wasn’t true. In my own experience it seems that guys seem to realize how good they had it and realize they aren’t over someone when the other person is moved on with someone who can give them what they want. Interesting to think on. Yeah, I didn’t listen, but a few of you have sent me Kaitlyn’s reaction to it. If that’s her reaction, then obviously she doesn’t buy a lot of what he said.

-Have there been any bachelor/ bachelorette couples come off the show where you actually thought “okay. This couple might actually make it”? What couples have totally shocked you or surprised you by staying together? Ashley and JP. And I thought Andi and Josh had a chance only bc neither had to make a major move since they lived 10 min away from each other. Obviously that didn’t work out.

-Last question. I have always wondered, how did your career as “Reality Steve” get started?

Comment: Easiest way to answer this would be to go up to the top of the page, click “Press,” and read almost any of those stories written about me. It’s in those.

hi Steve

What else to do while crossing the Atlantic Ocean than writing my first question to you… (9 hrs)

read your post from today and again I wonder:
I like your sarcasm but with Colton it seems as more than that:

you have said that he has sold g is soul to the show, and today that he is phony.. etc..

I get you think that – but why?
I don’t think you have ever given real examples. I mean , examples showing why he is more phony than other bachelor’s…

don’t tell it ; show it this time if you can…
what has he done?

I’m no fan of his btw… just curious..

Comment: There are certain things I know about this season that I cannot share without compromising sources. That’s one of them.

Hi Steve,

Why does the show go through the ridiculous facade of making it seem like Colton is the one buying the clothes? Nobody actually believes that right? Oh, plenty of people do. The show treats its audience like they’re morons. That’s why it’s my job to fill people in on how this show actually works.

If I’m reading between the lines correctly, it sounded like Colton thought Aly was his special “the one” at the time and he would have lost his virginity to her if not for her abuse. But you’re saying there was someone before Aly that he dated? It doesn’t seem like he had any dating experience before her. I get what you’re saying, but it’s almost like he pinned it on her that he wasn’t a virgin. It was confusing. An email coming up explained it better than I did ha ha.

Did you notice that when Tayshia lept off the platform, she didn’t get into a downwards position until halfway down and the rope basically snapped her back in a violet fashion. Gosh that looked painful. Yeah, I’ve never seen someone bungee jump and not go swan dive or head first. Definitely looks like it could’ve hurt.

I burst out laughing when you started your recap with Chris Zima. It almost seems like a potential conflict of interest since she covers the bachelor for her job.

Comment: Well here’s the thing, it’s not like Lauren spoils the show. She never has. What she does is get a ton of interviews with cast during the Tell All shows backstage, and the ATFR show, and stuff like that. So I don’t see how that would change just because she’s dating him. And even if he did happen to tell her things, it’s not like she would run with it. She’s not a spoiler site. She gets exclusives with all the contestants during the Tell All shows and ATFR, and will occasionally get asked to interview them during the season on a date or whatever, but they can’t run that stuff til the show airs. So, I don’t see her job changing at all. “Roses and Rose” will still be a thing, and I doubt she gets taken off the “Bachelor/ette” beat. She’s good at what she does, and I’m sure if she knew/thought having this relationship would get her taken of “Bachelor” coverage, she would’ve chosen her job over a man. I don’t see anything changing with her work.

Hey Steve,

You may have answered this before but I am semi-new to the blog. Is Harrison allowed to clue the leads in on whats really happening in the house if they ask? (or producers) Like when two girls have opposing stories and they want to see what the real deal is? No. It’s not his “job.” The company line is they want him to figure everything out on his own.

Have you ever told us who your top favorite podcast guests have been as well as the least? Just curious. Same for leads or just general contestants? I went from hating Olivia to loving her and am hoping now that I live in TX and could come you will have another live recording with her. Is there a possibility?

Comment: It’s impossible to list my favorites because I feel like I’ve learned something from every one, and that’s my goal. With that said, tomorrow’s is probably going to be the most powerful. It’s a story that very few people even know about, and I didn’t even find out for myself until October when this person reached out to me. It’s someone I’ve known for a while too. I want people to listen and I’m guessing someone out there will be helped by it. That’s why I’m doing it.

Hi Steve,

Longtime reader and podcast listener, first time emailer. I usually wait until halfway through the season to spoil, but I finally caved and listened to the episode-by-episode spoilers for this season this morning. So forgive me if something like this has been asked, but what do you think it means for the show that four women (Elyse, Sydney, Heather, and Cassie) became uninterested in Colton and eliminated themselves? Sure, Cassie accepted a relationship without engagement, but this rate of self-elimination exceeds even Juan Pablo’s season. Will this affect how the show chooses their next male lead, or am I just optimistic that they’ll choose more compelling leads? Looking forward to seeing how this unprecedented finale format will play out.

Comment: I don’t think so. And although Cassie does leave the show, it’s not because she feels she doesn’t have a strong enough relationship with Colton. She just doesn’t want to get engaged. So I can’t put her in the same category as the other three. A lot of people seem to be harping on this this season, and I don’t know, I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t think it says much other than production likes to mix things up here and there so not everyone has to go home at a rose ceremony.

This conversation from Colton with Caelynn really bothered me last night and I’m glad you addressed it in your recap column today.

You wrote: “I don’t recall anything that Colton said last night as being a clear reason now as to why we understand he’s a virgin. I understand why he found it hard to be intimate with Aly, but as I mentioned, Colton could’ve lost his virginity before Aly.”

YES! This is exactly how I felt last night. Colton dated Aly for ~9 months in 2016-2017 when he was 24-25 years old. How the hell is that the “reason” he is a virgin? Don’t lay that on Aly. Don’t say (or the show’s hyping of this conversation the way they did) that he is a virgin because he dated Aly. NO. He is a virgin because he decided he didn’t want to have sex. Full stop. Now maybe the reason he decided he didn’t want to have sex is because he wanted to wait until he was in a long-term committed relationship and the only relationship that he’s ever had in his entire life that came close to that was with Aly and he decided not to try with her out of respect for her past. But then say that! Say that the reason you are a virgin is because you decided you didn’t want to have sex unless you were in a long-term relationship with someone who was also ready to have sex and that hasn’t happened for you yet. The way this show hyped up this conversation as getting behind the “true” reason he is a virgin and then what was shown last night made it sound like Aly was to blame for the reason he is still a virgin. That he wouldn’t be a virgin if Aly didn’t have this past. The whole thing has the underpinnings of the gross misogynist belief that women owe men sex. That he was entitled to sex from Aly and didn’t get it because of her past and therefore that is why he is a virgin.

He also could’ve just told Caelynn that he understands how difficult it can be to have a relationship when you are a survivor because of his experience with Aly. He didn’t need to then tie that in to the reason he is a virgin.

I’ve been on the fence about Colton since he appeared on The Bachelorette, but that whole conversation made me dislike him.

Comment: This x 100. This person said it better than I could yesterday. Agree with this 1000%.


Have you ever analyzed how many new Instagram followers on average each contestant gains by being on the bachelor? That is their before vs after follower count. You can tell I’m a stats guy…

Comment: When I first start hearing about contestants, long before I even post about them, I always write down their Twitter and IG statistics, always thinking I’m gonna use it later in the season. Then about halfway through getting the contestants I stop and it becomes pointless to me.

Although someone did reach out to me through email who’s doing major statistic work on Colton’s season and has broken this season down like you wouldn’t believe. Maybe I’ll post that next week.

All I have to say, is that it felt more than a little exploitative for Colton to mention that he has an ex that has also experienced sexual abuse. Yes, Aly has been openly vocal about what happened to her. However, that is not Colton’s story to tell.

Maybe I could say that his response would have been appropriate if they were having a private conversation IRL. But they filming a television show, and everyone watching could figure out who he was talking about in one google search.

It’s not cool that he used Aly’s past to drive his story line.

Comment: Not cool at all, but I expect nothing less from him. Did you see how many stories were posted last week before this episode even aired of Colton talking about Aly. Don’t ever think for a second this guy is ever going to miss out on press for himself or this show.

Hi Steve!

I just want to stay that I think you are a stand up guy bc of the way you handled the Caelynn spoilers you had. I believe you knew more specifics (plus Colton mentioning “his ex”) but felt it wasn’t your story to tell. That was considerate of you. Thanks. There’s a lot to say, but sometimes you gotta show restraint. And that person knows exactly what I’m talking about. Unfortunately, it’s another instance where I cannot share what I know.

If its a running joke that Jimmy Kimmel reads your spoilers, why does ABC allow him to do his prediction on-air? I could see if he was on a different network it would be funny, but I’d think ABC would put a stop to it if its well known that he reads your spoilers and then “predicts” the winner. It’s just silly at this point. But I do think a part of it is this show embracing social media and “spoilers” way more now than they used to.

How does Heather know Tenley? Assume that’s how she got casted. I don’t know, but considering they’re both in San Diego, I’m guessing that’s how it came about.

I know you probably did not, but OMG did you listen to Shawn on Almost Famous? It was so sad. Was wondering if you heard any reactions from former cast members, good & bad? He is pissed about Jason LOL. Yeah, didn’t listen and probably won’t.

If you are in NYC again during March Madness, let me know!

Comment: No plans to be there this year. Gonna be in Vegas for first wknd of March Madness this year.

Disclosure: I’m really a Giants fan but hate the Pats like most of America.

Happy new year!! And happy almost Valentine’s day! I say that because….what’s the gift you’re buying for Luka? It’s her first valentines so it has to be special. I haven’t thought about it, but probably some treats she hasn’t had before.

Now to the important things….

1.) Any chance that Tayshia’s boyfriend will be cast for Caelynn’s season? Or maybe “accidentally” show up on Paradise, cause I’d be surprised AF if she’s not there. This isn’t “Ex on the Beach.” Not sure why he’d be in Paradise. On next season? Not that I’ve heard of. But then again, I don’t know the whole cast. Only a few so far.

2.) Are you excited that Paradise Hotel is also returning? For me, I’m more excited about that than Temptation Island (sorry not sorry). Bachelor in Paradise has nothing on that show (same for TI too of course.) I never watched Paradise Hotel the first time around, so it returning doesn’t do much for me. Just brace yourself for what’s to come on TI. Sh*t’s gettin’ real.

3.) is there someone out there who spoils Survivor the way you spoil Bachelor? I thought there was at one point, but I don’t think there is anymore. Not where it’s consistent season in and season out and there’s an ep-by-ep breakdown. But then again, I don’t want to know what happens on “Survivor” so I’ve never really looked.

4.) and finally, we both know the Super Bowl is New England’s to lose. The Rams shouldn’t even be there, and I’d begrudgingly pick New England over the Saints too. What’s your over/under? Mine is 55.

Comment: I have the over in the game. Yes, New England should win. And most stats point to them winning. But I’m guessing you could’ve said the same thing last year and they got beat by a worse offense than the Rams have, and New England you can argue isn’t as good as they were last year. So who knows. I do think there will be points though, so that’s where I’m leaning. Something in the 33-30, 34-31, 35-28 range.



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