The Bachelor 23 - Colton

The “Bachelor” Colton – Episode 6 Recap, An Additional Spoiler, & That Tricky Season Ending Preview

Photo Credit: ABC

-Lets just jump straight into the dates in Vietnam since the beginning of the episode was just a conclusion to last week, and you knew he was eliminating both Onyeka and Nicole. Nothing interesting of note happened. We get a shot of Colton on the beach doing one of his video blogs, but again, it’s clear he’s not doing a selfie video because both of his arms are hanging straight down. All they’re doing is putting a camera right up to his face and he’s talking. He tells us he just went for a morning job and getting ready for dates in Vietnam. Wonderful. Thanks for letting us know. Next time, also fill us in on when you take a leak next too. Would be as helpful as these videos. A shot inside the resort with the women have Demi leading the lady group chat saying, “Who hasn’t had a 1-on-1?” Again, something that anyone who passed remedial math could figure out. But because they needed to remind the audience who hadn’t had one to build this week’s tension, Demi gets the lead role in this part to head up the fake conversation.

-Hannah G. gets the 1-on-1 and these two go for a facial and massage and…dry humping each other. Was that part of the package that day? Because this date is awfully similar to last week’s date with Cassie. We learn nothing about them, they have zero meaningful conversation, and they go jean jammin’ with each other without the jeans. Like, we get it. They have a physical connection, but zero else at this point. Not to mention, we don’t know a thing about Hannah G. personally either. What makes her tick? What are her goals in life? Any relationships in the past? What food does she eat? How close of friends is she with Hannah B. considering they both competed in Miss Alabama USA 2017 together? So many questions, and zero answers. Not surprising in the least.

-All while they show Hannah G. and Colton’s purely physical relationship, we get a clip back at the resort of Caelynn talking to Cassie and saying aloud that “she’s relied on her beauty for much of her life,” and “are there layers and depths to her that we’re missing.” Ok, that was completely out of left field, but obviously shown for a reason. My issue with it is can you imagine if Onyeka uttered that exact same sentiment about Hannah G.? She would’ve been crucified on social media last night. Yes, some people certainly felt it was the pot calling the kettle black since Caelynn is a pageant girl herself, so just the statement itself is kinda ridiculous when you think about it because you can think the exact same way about Caelynn. But lets face it, Caelynn won’t get nearly the heat for saying it as someone else would’ve because people seem to think if you’re attacking a sexual assault survivor, then you’re an a**hole. No, they are two separate things. Caelynn’s college sexual assault has nothing to do with the statement she made on television last night. Saying that about Hannah G. seemed a bit uncalled for and totally out of place. But because it seems like Caelynn is being protected a bit, I don’t think she’ll get nearly the heat that an Onyeka or even a Demi would get if they said it.
That’s all.

-Hannah G. and Colton then head to the dinner portion of their date and, holy sh*t! They have a conversation! So we find out that Hannah G’s parents are divorced and her dad drove over the lawn or something. I missed that, buuuuuut yeah, she wasn’t happy they got divorced and Colton said neither was he when his parents got divorced and always tried to block out the conversation when it came up. So six episodes into the show, we know two things about Colton and Hannah G.:

1) They like to make out and rub up against each other like 8th graders
2) They come from divorced parents

Yep. That’s all I got for ya’. If anyone else can tell me one other thing about these two together, you are a better person than me.

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  1. iampunka

    February 12, 2019 at 10:36 AM

    Colton was doomed from Day 1. These insta thirsty girls were never in it for him. And last night showed it big time. The mature ones bail, and the nor ready girls got deer in the headlights when Colton said some girls who left there are girls left who aren’t ready. Cassie in particular, but Hannah G too. His 2 favorites were obviously freaking over those conversations knowing it hit home.

    Not it’s time to watch the meltdowns happen. Some girls are gonna look really bad for not bailing sooner–or not even coming on the show–when others girls did after they say the not feeling it or not ready.

    Ridiculousness of the format is getting exposed again.

  2. shouldbeworking

    February 12, 2019 at 11:44 AM

    I guess I didn’t watch closely enough as I didn’t see any of what he’s talking about in his blog.
    This season is so painful. Can it be over already?

  3. rob22

    February 12, 2019 at 1:33 PM

    It’s a sad season. Colton shows no real interest in getting to know any of the girls. He’ll patiently listen to a story, and empathize with them. But he doesn’t really ask many questions. That’s why the connections are so superficial. All Colton really cares about are superficial things. Maybe that’s a tad more honest than guys like Nick who would ask those questions, but really didn’t care. Colton is just a nicer version of Juan Pah-Blow who blatantly embraced the superficial and completely blew off anything deeper. So, I think the response to Colton is similar, absent the contempt that JP got from some of his girls. But the result is the same. The girls are seeing that they can’t get anywhere emotionally with Colton. So they’re peeling off. Given all this, the ending makes sense. He loses interest in almost everyone that hasn’t already lost interest and left, and somewhat predictably the one he has interest in doesn’t see anything there. That’s it in a nutshell with Colton. There’s nothing really there except some superficial good looks and a smile. Beneath that? I don’t see anything there. This is the worst season since JP.

  4. tinyred500

    February 12, 2019 at 2:09 PM

    Well, going by these comments we are all in agreement about Colton and this series so far. The episodes are still merging into one for me..with no stand out moments. I find myself ‘doing a Colton’, by switching off and not taking any real interest. My cup of tea and choccy biccy is so much more interesting!

  5. ctrealitygirl

    February 13, 2019 at 10:23 AM

    The thing that bugs me most about Colton is the childish way he speaks. Has anyone else noticed that his sentences are choppy and short and uses very general terms? He comes off like a toddler speaking his first words/sentences. Almost simple-minded. And his chipmunk face makes him look the part. How are these women falling for him??? Methinks they’re as brain-dead as he is. What a horrible boring season. PLEASE NO Caelynn for Bachelorette. Following up the simpleton Colton with a beauty queen??

  6. tinyred500

    February 13, 2019 at 10:54 AM

    I agree, short choppy sentences from Colton is being kind. He really can’t string a half decent sentence together….it’s either him saying how much he likes the girl, blah, blah, blah or he’s kissing them (Steve’s comments about Colton’s kisses made me chuckle).

    Have we actually learnt anything new about him or these girls yet?! He doesn’t ask a single thing or tell us anything new about him, there’s zero discussion (at least from edit’s we’re seeing). He said that he’s had people give up on him, and I can all see why…… you have to have something to give, or willing to share with another, in order to receive it back. I think Robb22 has a point, that’s Colton being another Juan Pablo, a version of him at least.

  7. tinyred500

    February 13, 2019 at 11:03 AM

    I meant to add (I wish there was an edit button!).

    …as for Colton being a ‘simpleton’, well the lights are on, but there’s no-one home.

  8. rob22

    February 16, 2019 at 8:59 AM

    There is a pretty good comparison between Colton and JP. Both were marginal pro athletes living in a bubble. The male athlete often can be very superficial since they travel a lot and spend a lot of time on their athletic pursuits. I know a very successful male athlete, who’s a good guy, but he sleeps until 11:00 then heads to the ballpark. Any time he’s not playing, he’s sleeping or chilling out. So there can be a tendency to not really understand much of anything that doesn’t relate to their sport. It doesn’t mean they are bad guys, just emotionally stunted and single minded. JP was kind of a jerk, and Colton isn’t that. But the lack of depth is exactly the same. I’m sure it’s very frustrating for any girl. Tia and Colton’s “relationship” is an excellent case study. What was telling was that Colton enjoyed Tia’s company, but really didn’t show more than moderate interest in her personally. I imagine that his relationship with Ally Raisman was much the same.

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