The Bachelor 23 - Colton

The “Bachelor” Colton – Episode 6 Recap, An Additional Spoiler, & That Tricky Season Ending Preview

Photo Credit: ABC

-The group date has 8 women (Hannah B, Caelynn, Cassie, Sydney, Heather, Tayshia, Demi, and Katie) all kicking each others ass in some form of kickboxing that I’d never heard of before. But because maybe they owed something to “Bachelor: Vietnam,” they introduced us to the host of that version who judged everyone beating each other up. I wonder if he looks at the American version of the show and notices how ridiculous it is? Have many people in the states seen “Bachelor: Vietnam?” I’m guessing not. What’s it like? Who’s their Demi? Do the women all give the same superlatives every episode about how they’re falling in love with the Bachelor and how they can see themselves getting engaged at the end of it? I gotta believe their version is quiiiiiiiiiiiite different than ours. Just a hunch. And does Vietnam’s host say the same 8 phrases all season that Chris does? That’d be the ultimate kicker.

-Sydney is feeling a little blue today because it’s like her 9 millionth group date in a row. Sydney: “Group dates kinda suck.” Yeah. Probably the most honest thing said on the episode. The actual group dates themselves, the actual physical activity that happens during a group date, really tells us nothing about anything. And this goes for any season with any lead. The group date is just an activity to entertain the audience and/or create drama between some contestants that may not like each other. The group date after party is where anything truly ever happens because that’s where he/she gets to talk to the other people and you get to see them interact more. But the dates themselves? Meh. We’ve had a couple incidents here and there over the years, but the drama really goes down at the after party because that’s usually where the sh** talking begins between contestants.

-Tayshia gets some alone time with him at the after party and even she’s feeling kinda down. She says that she sees him making connections with others and she wants him to have that curiosity about her that he has in others. His response: “Every time I’m around you, I just wanna know more.” Great. You’re around her now. Just the two of you alone. Go ahead. Ask away. Ask some questions about her and her life that you just said you were interested in knowing. Oh wait, here comes Colton’s giant tongue and there goes that idea. So she tells him exactly what she wants, he tells her he wants to know more, then doesn’t ask anything and they kiss.

-Katie’s feeling scared because she’s not great at showing her emotions, good or bad. She feels she’s going to be misunderstood by Colton and he won’t give her a chance because he can’t read her. “I would hate to go home with you thinking I didn’t try.” Fair enough, even though, yeah, pretty much the reason he sent her home this episode. I think people who go on this show who aren’t good at showing their emotions are pretty much writing their own death sentence. The show doesn’t want that, the lead doesn’t want that, and the audience doesn’t want that. But I think they’ll throw people like that in there just as filler. Admitting you aren’t great at showing emotions is essentially the kiss of death when it comes to this show, and unfortunately Katie suffered from it in her journey. She really never stood a chance.

-Demi gets some alone time and figures what better way to get in Colton’s good graces than to arrange a phone call with her mother recently released from prison so she can talk to him? I’m not sure why anyone thought this was a good idea, but ok. Lets go with it. Can’t say it’s ever happened in 37 seasons, because as far as we know, we’ve never had a contestant on the show who got cast right as their parent was being released from jail. Sooooo, points for originality? Not to Demi, but to the show for casting her knowing they’d use this storyline as often as they could. On the speakerphone they told her mom they were in Thailand and that they were having so much fun. They left out the part where Demi told her mom she was being thirsty as hell this season and she can’t wait to head down to Mexico in 4 months so she can try and have some guy from this franchise hot after her. Lets see how that works out.

-Sydney had spoken to Colton earlier in the night telling him essentially, “Hey buddy, you pay no attention to me, I haven’t gotten a 1-on-1, and you’ve banged almost everyone here with your clothes on but me. Where’s my lovin?” Something along those lines. Anyway, it took Sydney all of, oh I don’t know, 3 minutes in TV time to circle back and be like, “Peace out, dude. I don’t need to be here anymore. You don’t want me, it’s clear as day, so I’m gonna bounce while I still have some of my dignity left. But good luck with all the 23 year olds. You’ll need it.” And with that, we say goodbye to Sydney. Hardly ever knew ye’, ol’ Sydney. You will be missed. For 4 months. Catch you in the summer. You know, assuming you’re still single and all which is possibly up for debate right now. Ahhhh, the rumor mill is fun place, isn’t it?

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  1. iampunka

    February 12, 2019 at 10:36 AM

    Colton was doomed from Day 1. These insta thirsty girls were never in it for him. And last night showed it big time. The mature ones bail, and the nor ready girls got deer in the headlights when Colton said some girls who left there are girls left who aren’t ready. Cassie in particular, but Hannah G too. His 2 favorites were obviously freaking over those conversations knowing it hit home.

    Not it’s time to watch the meltdowns happen. Some girls are gonna look really bad for not bailing sooner–or not even coming on the show–when others girls did after they say the not feeling it or not ready.

    Ridiculousness of the format is getting exposed again.

  2. shouldbeworking

    February 12, 2019 at 11:44 AM

    I guess I didn’t watch closely enough as I didn’t see any of what he’s talking about in his blog.
    This season is so painful. Can it be over already?

  3. rob22

    February 12, 2019 at 1:33 PM

    It’s a sad season. Colton shows no real interest in getting to know any of the girls. He’ll patiently listen to a story, and empathize with them. But he doesn’t really ask many questions. That’s why the connections are so superficial. All Colton really cares about are superficial things. Maybe that’s a tad more honest than guys like Nick who would ask those questions, but really didn’t care. Colton is just a nicer version of Juan Pah-Blow who blatantly embraced the superficial and completely blew off anything deeper. So, I think the response to Colton is similar, absent the contempt that JP got from some of his girls. But the result is the same. The girls are seeing that they can’t get anywhere emotionally with Colton. So they’re peeling off. Given all this, the ending makes sense. He loses interest in almost everyone that hasn’t already lost interest and left, and somewhat predictably the one he has interest in doesn’t see anything there. That’s it in a nutshell with Colton. There’s nothing really there except some superficial good looks and a smile. Beneath that? I don’t see anything there. This is the worst season since JP.

  4. tinyred500

    February 12, 2019 at 2:09 PM

    Well, going by these comments we are all in agreement about Colton and this series so far. The episodes are still merging into one for me..with no stand out moments. I find myself ‘doing a Colton’, by switching off and not taking any real interest. My cup of tea and choccy biccy is so much more interesting!

  5. ctrealitygirl

    February 13, 2019 at 10:23 AM

    The thing that bugs me most about Colton is the childish way he speaks. Has anyone else noticed that his sentences are choppy and short and uses very general terms? He comes off like a toddler speaking his first words/sentences. Almost simple-minded. And his chipmunk face makes him look the part. How are these women falling for him??? Methinks they’re as brain-dead as he is. What a horrible boring season. PLEASE NO Caelynn for Bachelorette. Following up the simpleton Colton with a beauty queen??

  6. tinyred500

    February 13, 2019 at 10:54 AM

    I agree, short choppy sentences from Colton is being kind. He really can’t string a half decent sentence together….it’s either him saying how much he likes the girl, blah, blah, blah or he’s kissing them (Steve’s comments about Colton’s kisses made me chuckle).

    Have we actually learnt anything new about him or these girls yet?! He doesn’t ask a single thing or tell us anything new about him, there’s zero discussion (at least from edit’s we’re seeing). He said that he’s had people give up on him, and I can all see why…… you have to have something to give, or willing to share with another, in order to receive it back. I think Robb22 has a point, that’s Colton being another Juan Pablo, a version of him at least.

  7. tinyred500

    February 13, 2019 at 11:03 AM

    I meant to add (I wish there was an edit button!).

    …as for Colton being a ‘simpleton’, well the lights are on, but there’s no-one home.

  8. rob22

    February 16, 2019 at 8:59 AM

    There is a pretty good comparison between Colton and JP. Both were marginal pro athletes living in a bubble. The male athlete often can be very superficial since they travel a lot and spend a lot of time on their athletic pursuits. I know a very successful male athlete, who’s a good guy, but he sleeps until 11:00 then heads to the ballpark. Any time he’s not playing, he’s sleeping or chilling out. So there can be a tendency to not really understand much of anything that doesn’t relate to their sport. It doesn’t mean they are bad guys, just emotionally stunted and single minded. JP was kind of a jerk, and Colton isn’t that. But the lack of depth is exactly the same. I’m sure it’s very frustrating for any girl. Tia and Colton’s “relationship” is an excellent case study. What was telling was that Colton enjoyed Tia’s company, but really didn’t show more than moderate interest in her personally. I imagine that his relationship with Ally Raisman was much the same.

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