-The group date has 8 women (Hannah B, Caelynn, Cassie, Sydney, Heather, Tayshia, Demi, and Katie) all kicking each others ass in some form of kickboxing that I’d never heard of before. But because maybe they owed something to “Bachelor: Vietnam,” they introduced us to the host of that version who judged everyone beating each other up. I wonder if he looks at the American version of the show and notices how ridiculous it is? Have many people in the states seen “Bachelor: Vietnam?” I’m guessing not. What’s it like? Who’s their Demi? Do the women all give the same superlatives every episode about how they’re falling in love with the Bachelor and how they can see themselves getting engaged at the end of it? I gotta believe their version is quiiiiiiiiiiiite different than ours. Just a hunch. And does Vietnam’s host say the same 8 phrases all season that Chris does? That’d be the ultimate kicker.
-Sydney is feeling a little blue today because it’s like her 9 millionth group date in a row. Sydney: “Group dates kinda suck.” Yeah. Probably the most honest thing said on the episode. The actual group dates themselves, the actual physical activity that happens during a group date, really tells us nothing about anything. And this goes for any season with any lead. The group date is just an activity to entertain the audience and/or create drama between some contestants that may not like each other. The group date after party is where anything truly ever happens because that’s where he/she gets to talk to the other people and you get to see them interact more. But the dates themselves? Meh. We’ve had a couple incidents here and there over the years, but the drama really goes down at the after party because that’s usually where the sh** talking begins between contestants.
-Tayshia gets some alone time with him at the after party and even she’s feeling kinda down. She says that she sees him making connections with others and she wants him to have that curiosity about her that he has in others. His response: “Every time I’m around you, I just wanna know more.” Great. You’re around her now. Just the two of you alone. Go ahead. Ask away. Ask some questions about her and her life that you just said you were interested in knowing. Oh wait, here comes Colton’s giant tongue and there goes that idea. So she tells him exactly what she wants, he tells her he wants to know more, then doesn’t ask anything and they kiss.
-Katie’s feeling scared because she’s not great at showing her emotions, good or bad. She feels she’s going to be misunderstood by Colton and he won’t give her a chance because he can’t read her. “I would hate to go home with you thinking I didn’t try.” Fair enough, even though, yeah, pretty much the reason he sent her home this episode. I think people who go on this show who aren’t good at showing their emotions are pretty much writing their own death sentence. The show doesn’t want that, the lead doesn’t want that, and the audience doesn’t want that. But I think they’ll throw people like that in there just as filler. Admitting you aren’t great at showing emotions is essentially the kiss of death when it comes to this show, and unfortunately Katie suffered from it in her journey. She really never stood a chance.
-Demi gets some alone time and figures what better way to get in Colton’s good graces than to arrange a phone call with her mother recently released from prison so she can talk to him? I’m not sure why anyone thought this was a good idea, but ok. Lets go with it. Can’t say it’s ever happened in 37 seasons, because as far as we know, we’ve never had a contestant on the show who got cast right as their parent was being released from jail. Sooooo, points for originality? Not to Demi, but to the show for casting her knowing they’d use this storyline as often as they could. On the speakerphone they told her mom they were in Thailand and that they were having so much fun. They left out the part where Demi told her mom she was being thirsty as hell this season and she can’t wait to head down to Mexico in 4 months so she can try and have some guy from this franchise hot after her. Lets see how that works out.
-Sydney had spoken to Colton earlier in the night telling him essentially, “Hey buddy, you pay no attention to me, I haven’t gotten a 1-on-1, and you’ve banged almost everyone here with your clothes on but me. Where’s my lovin?” Something along those lines. Anyway, it took Sydney all of, oh I don’t know, 3 minutes in TV time to circle back and be like, “Peace out, dude. I don’t need to be here anymore. You don’t want me, it’s clear as day, so I’m gonna bounce while I still have some of my dignity left. But good luck with all the 23 year olds. You’ll need it.” And with that, we say goodbye to Sydney. Hardly ever knew ye’, ol’ Sydney. You will be missed. For 4 months. Catch you in the summer. You know, assuming you’re still single and all which is possibly up for debate right now. Ahhhh, the rumor mill is fun place, isn’t it?
